How My Best Friend Screwed Me Over
by Tyson FoxFlame
Summary: [AkuRoku] It’s funny how life doesn’t always work out how we want. I mean, I expected to leave high school with average grades, looks, and maybe a girlfriend. But my best friend had another plan and decided to turn my life upside down. Some friend huh?
1. You Keep Living Like You're A Movie Star

**Chapter One**

_You Keep Living Like You're A Movie Star, But Tell Me Who You Really Are_

* * *

It's funny how life doesn't always work out to our expectations. I mean, when I started my freshman year at the age of 13 (almost 14, of course), I expected to graduate high school with average grades, average looks, and maybe, just maybe, an average girlfriend.

Now on the night of graduation at the age of 17 (nearly 18, mind you), I'm sitting here as one of the top students in our grade, considered to be a genuine hottie, and writing all of this down while being held in my boyfriend's arms, silently wondering to myself "How the fuck did this one happen?"

So I'm sure the question all of you have is this: how **did** this happen? Well, I'll tell you something right now. This wasn't my fault, I swear! I was not involved with any of this in the beginning, really! Are you sure you really want to know what happened? Positive? Well, here it goes.

My best friend screwed me over.

Now I'm sure you're trying to figure out why the hell I would say that, but it's true, she really did screw me over! But maybe I should start from the beginning…yeah, sounds good.

* * *

So before I launch into my tale of how my best friend screwed me over, maybe I should give out some background info. Okay, let's start here. My name is Roxas, Roxas Mihara. Blond hair, blue eyes, pretty damn sexy (boyfriend's words, not mine), the whole nine yards. Currently 17 years old, as stated, and will turn 18 in the middle of October. October 26th to be exact. When this whole thing started, I was still 16.

Scary thought huh?

When I say "when this whole thing started", of course I'm referring to the whole story of our senior year of high school, when she screwed me over. I can't say that enough, honestly. But of course, I should probably introduce who "she" is, shouldn't I? Well, imagine a petite girl, shoulder-length auburn hair, bright blue eyes, decent-sized rack, nice legs, looks great in a skirt, and has a knack for getting both of us into situations that are hard to get out of.

That'd be Kairi Harada, my best friend for the past nine years, almost ten.

Uh-huh, I know, my best friend's a girl, that's not natural, blah blah blah. I've heard it all, trust me. But there's no way to explain it, Kairi and I just bonded. It all started when I moved to the islands, that is, Destiny Islands, from my home Twilight Town. Why we moved when I was eight years old, I will never know: I'm glad we did though.

We moved into a house only a few blocks away from my Aunt Seiya and my cousin Sora, who was my age. It was just the two of them living there at that point: my uncle died in a plane crash while on an out-of-town business trip a few months prior. As for me, I was living with both of my parents. Anyway, after we had finished unpacking everything and getting the new house all organized, my mother and I headed over to Aunt Seiya's house for a few hours, mostly for the two adults to socialize. After all, they're sisters.

As for me, I went off with Sora who happened to be the most hyperactive kid ever. Seriously, when I wandered upstairs into his bedroom, he was bouncing on his bed singing at the top of his lungs and playing a video game. Even to this day he still does that, come to think of it. Off-track, sorry. Anyway, so Sora got the brilliant idea that he should introduce me to his friends that same day. Now you have to understand, when I was little, I was shy as all fuck. Seriously, all through our childhood, Sora was the social butterfly and I was the wallflower, to put it in shitty clichés. He could boldly walk up to a complete stranger and tell them what was on his mind whereas I was too afraid to even ask the teacher to leave the classroom to use the bathroom.

Yeah, it was that bad.

Needless to say, Sora wasn't too sensitive about that issue and dragged me out of the room and down the stairs, announcing to our mothers that he was taking me to the play island and slamming the door behind him. We headed down to the boat docks (or rather, **he** headed, I was just dragged along) and hopped into a boat, rowing out to an island a little way out in the ocean, just barely separated from the mainland. Sora continued dragging me around like a puppy on a leash and led me to the opposite end of the beach where a few other kids were standing watching a boy with silver hair and another boy with sandy-colored hair fight, one with a sword and the other with a pole of some kind. Sora wasted no time in telling me that the silver-haired kid was his best friend Riku and that the little shrimp he was fighting was called Tidus. We watched the fight for a few moments before Riku whacked Tidus down, causing the smaller boy to tumble back onto the sand and stay down.

The other kids, two girls and one other boy, cheered respectively before breaking off into their own conversations. A brunette girl bounced up to Tidus, helping him up off the ground and showering him with praise. The orange-haired tanned boy swaggered up to Riku and clasped him on the shoulder, congratulating him for a good fight. Sora grinned and as soon as the other boy (who I later learned was Wakka)left, my cousin pounced on Riku.

"Riku!" he practically screamed in his ear. Riku blinked and winced at the volume.

"Hey Sora…" he said slowly, pushing Sora off of him. "You missed my entire fight."

"I couldn't get here soon enough!" he explained as he got up. "My aunt came over and my mommy made me stay home. But lookit, I brought someone with me!" he exclaimed, pouncing on me that time. The rest was a blur beyond that (hell, he made me hit my head pretty hard on the ground) but I do remember that in that short timeframe I met Riku, Wakka, Tidus, and Selphie. And then he introduced me to the cute little redhead standing right in front of me.

"This is Kairi," he said to me, pointing to the girl. I remember her hair was a lot short than it is now, a bob-cut really, but her eyes sparkled just as bright. A shy but friendly smile spread across her face.

"Hi Roxas, it's nice to meet you," she said to me. I liked her right away, just for the record.

After spending a few more hours on the island with Sora and his friends, we returned back to his house and I came to realize that Kairi lived a few houses down. You can imagine that I spent a lot of time over at Sora's in the future. I can't really even think of why me and Kairi connected so well, especially since Sora's my cousin, not her. I'm going to guess that it was because Sora and Riku had each other and Kairi was tired of being the third wheel. We needed each other I guess. Over time, she brought me out of my shell, so to speak, and now…well, now I have an opinion for just about everything. She was always there for me too, no matter what. She was there to fix my face when I got punched out mouthing off to one of the older kids when we were ten, she was there to tease me freshman year about having a crush on Naminé, and she was there to help me pick out my car for my 16th birthday. I think the thing I'm most grateful for was the fact that she was there to pick me back up after all the shit that went down when we were 11. My dad had just walked out on me and my mom, so I was basically…well, a wreck. Kairi knew that I was having a hard time coping and she didn't give up on me, even when I snapped at her and told her to fuck off.

Now that is true friendship.

Shortly after my dad left, my mom and I moved in with Aunt Seiya and Sora, mostly because we didn't need that large of a house anymore. Obviously that meant more time for me to hang out with Kairi and Sora. Of course, there were definitely some disadvantages to that, such as…well, how Kairi screwed me over. I think I can finally launch into my story. So, this is what happened.

* * *

It was a hot day on the island in the middle of August, about a week before Sora's birthday, which was on the 24th. I was the only one home that day; Mom and Aunt Seiya were out shopping and Sora was over at Riku's. I was perfectly content with my sea-salt ice cream and watching a re-run of Laguna Beach, but of course, I was bound to be interrupted. My cell phone suddenly vibrated in my pocket, causing me to jump in surprise and drop my ice cream: right on the crotch of my shorts. Hastily, I picked it up and shoved it in my mouth, grabbing the phone and answering.

"Hello?" I said, although around the ice cream I'm sure it sounded more like "Hewrow?"

"Rox-as," Kairi's voice came from the other end of the line, drawling out my name in a way that convinced me she wanted something.

"Hey Kai," I replied, taking the ice cream out of my mouth. "What's up?"

"Well, I was wondering if you could do me a favor," she said to me. I sighed quietly and closed my eyes. See, I knew this was coming!

"What is it?" I asked cautiously.

"So since Daddy's at work and my mother's gone for the week, do you think you can come pick me up from work?" she asked me. I barely stopped myself from groaning out loud. See, unlike me, Kairi's not cool enough to have a car. Ha. Ha. Ha. Okay fine, she really does have a car, but her mother had taken it with her on some business trip.

"Kai, do I have to? LC's just about to-"

"Roxas, if you tell me you're watching Laguna Beach I am going to walk home and then hit you over the head repeatedly with my shoe. You know that show is pointless."

"So? The girls are hot."

"Roxas!"

"Okay okay," I laughed, sitting upright and getting off of the couch, wandering upstairs to my room in search of my car keys. Kairi always gets annoyed when I ramble about hot girls and truthfully, I always enjoy annoying her. "Look, I'll be there in like, ten minutes okay?" I said to her, grabbing the keys off of my TV stand.

"You better be here that soon," she threatened, but I could tell she was trying not to laugh.

"Oh, you know it," I retorted, running back downstairs and slipping on my shoes. "Be there soon."

"Kay, thanks Rox." And then she hung up without waiting for me to reply. Shoving my phone back into the pocket of my shorts, I walked out the front door and headed for my blue 2003 Honda Civic. Yeah, nice car, I know. Well, it is compared to some of the other cars I've seen in our high school parking lot. My dad paid for it. He might have been a complete dickweed for picking up and walking out on our family, but he's nice enough to send child support money. Basically, I saved up five years worth of child support and bought my car. Now that's smart saving, don't ya think?

But enough about my beautiful car, let's get back to the story. So I drove across town to the Noon Moon café, parking on the curb and walking inside. Kairi got a job at the local coffee house at the beginning of summer. Selphie works there too, but I'm guessing that that was her day off because she wasn't around when I walked in. Kairi was still behind the counter finishing up with a few customers, dressed in her black shirt and khaki skirt with the white apron uniform. She smiled cheerfully in my direction.

"Hold on, Rox," she directed toward me and turned back to the man ordering his mocha. I leaned against the other end of the counter and waited patiently, watching as she finished up the last orders she had to fill and disappearing behind the swinging doors to the back room. I was doing just fine standing there, chin resting on my arms on the counter, waiting for my best friend to come back. But suddenly a pair of hands slammed down right in front of my face, jerking me out of my tranquil state. I looked up and was met with the sight of a taller boy with longish spiky red hair. Bright green eyes stared down at me and the kid smirked, drumming his fingers on the counter top.

"Ya gonna order something or ya just gonna stand there and look pretty?" he asked me, raising an eyebrow. I think I stood there staring at him dumbly for a moment, taking in his appearance as a whole. He had two little marks on his face, one under each eye. It was hard to tell whether they were tattoos or scars really. Like it mattered though, this guy just called me pretty! I mean, what the hell?

"Actually, I'm waiting for a friend," I replied shortly after that, unsure of what else to say. He nodded knowingly and grinned down at Kairi as she reappeared from the back room.

"Hey Kai, your boyfriend's kinda scrawny don't ya think?" he commented. Kairi merely smiled politely and shrugged.

"Well, I suppose he could use a little more muscle on him," she said, smiling at me innocently.

"Hey!" I squawked in protest. "First of all, that was really mean. Secondly, I'm not her boyfriend," I added, glaring at the tall red-haired boy.

"Sure sure, whatever you say. But I don't know why you would deny it; Kairi's a total catch," he replied, winking at me. By that point, I was seriously starting to get a little creeped out. Kairi didn't seem to mind though since she just rolled her eyes and grabbed my wrist.

"Ax, I'm heading out. I'll see you later," she said, waving to the weird guy. Weird guy grinned smugly and nodded.

"Sure thing. Don't do everything I would do!" He finally shut up as another customer showed up, asking for another cup of coffee. Kairi led me out of the coffee shop and dragged me toward my car, waiting patiently on the passenger side for me to unlock it. I unlocked the car and slid into the driver's seat, making no move to start the car. She slid in next to me, looking over at me curiously.

"Um…aren't we going to leave?" she asked. I stared back and narrowed my eyes, nodding toward the building.

"Who the fuck was that and can I shove a stirring spoon up his ass?"

She rolled her eyes. "That's Axel…I think his last name is like, Tamashi or something. He's new, both on the job and in town. He's gonna be in our graduating class this year," she explained to me. I shoved the key into the ignition and started the car, putting it into drive and pulling away from the curb.

"Well if you ask me, he's pretty irritating," I mumbled to myself, turning up the volume of my stereo system just a bit.

"Roxas…" she said in that tone she likes to use when she's ready to hit me. I shrugged and turned up the volume again. "Get used to it. He's actually not that bad once you get used to him."

"Well maybe I don't want to get used to him."

"Roxas! Stop being difficult!" she shouted. Okay, so maybe I had my music up a little too loud, big deal. Nobody gets in the way of me and my music, and that includes Kairi.

"I'm not being difficult! I haven't even known him for 10 minutes and he's already insulting me!" I stopped at a stoplight and Kairi reached forward, turning down my music. "Hey!"

"How was he insulting you?" she asked me.

"He called me scrawny?"

"Roxas…you are scrawny," she pointed out. "But then again, so's Sora."

"And..?"

"Does it really count as an insult if it's true?" She raised an eyebrow. The light turned green and I began driving again, heading back toward our neighborhood.

"Of course it counts, it's like rubbing salt into an open wound."

"Honestly, Roxas, you're too overdramatic," she sighed and turned up the music again.

"I'm not being overdramatic! I just don't like it when people insult me," I insisted again, turning down a street toward our homes.

"No really, you're one of the most dramatic people I know. You're just shaped kinda girly, get over it."

"You're lucky I don't make you walk home."

"Like you would, you love me too much."

"Oh, totally," I remarked and rolled my eyes. I wasn't quite sure why this Axel kid's remark had me all bent out of shape, really. I mean, I'm used to getting crap from people; being called scrawny shouldn't have affected me like that. But it did, and that bothered me. The rest of the short trip remained silent and I pulled into Kairi's driveway, putting the car into park and letting the engine idle.

"You comin' in for a while?" Kairi asked me, not quite making an effort to get out of my car.

"Can't. Dem, Sora, and I all agreed on having band practice at our house in like, 15 minutes," I replied with a quick glance to the clock. She sighed and nodded, shifting in her seat to get a better look at me. I refused to look her in the eye by that point, and I think she noticed that I was glaring out the windshield because she began to speak again.

"What's wrong, Roxy?" she asked me, giggling when my eyes narrowed even more at the use of the nickname.

Just for the record, I don't really like being called Roxy. I only tolerate it from Kairi and my boyfriend. The. End.

"Nothing," I mumbled, drumming my fingers on the steering wheel and glancing at the clock again. Ten minutes left. She continued to look at me curiously, staying quiet as I continued…pouting? Sulking? Hell, I don't know what I was doing at the time, but I was not Mr. Sunshine or whatever Kairi wanted me to be. Suddenly I felt soft fingers on my face and the next thing I knew, Kairi had turned my head toward her, watching me with a concerned look on her face.

"…what?" I asked her warily, not liking the way her expression was changing and the concern was being replaced by a smirk. What came out of her mouth next is what a.) caught me off-guard completely, and b.) brought on a huge plot point to this story.

"You think he's cute don't you?" she said to me.

"Who?"

"Axel."

"What?!" My eyes went wide and my jaw dropped as I stared at her in disbelief. And what did she do? She had the nerve to sit there and **giggle**. Giggle! I mean, here was her best friend, confused beyond all belief to why she would even suggest something as heinous and disgusting as that and all she can do is sit there and laugh.

What the hell?

"Kai, that's just…gross!"

"Oh come on, Roxas, just admit it. You think he's cute," she repeated, poking me squarely in the chest. I swatted at her hand and frowned at her.

"Do not."

"Do too. I can see it on your face," she remarked triumphantly, poking me again.

Let me just clear up something for you all right here and now. At that time, Kairi was the only one who knew that I considered myself bisexual. Nobody else knew, and honestly I wasn't really planning on telling anybody else. But since life decided to hate me for the entire year, things just happened.

But we'll get to that later.

"Kairi, seriously. I don't think he's cute or attractive or even nice. I don't like him…end of story."

"You're just mad because he called you scrawny," she retorted and opened the car door, unbuckling her seatbelt and climbing out.

"Not even."

She shut the door and stuck her head back through the open window. "Okay Roxas, whatever you say. Obviously you didn't notice the blush on your face." Out of pure instinct, I looked up at the rearview mirror and saw…nothing. Kairi laughed at me again and I glared at her, putting the car back into reverse.

"Whatever," I mumbled back at her, ignoring the proud smile on her lips.

"Don't deny it, Roxas! I know you better than that, and I know you thought Axel was cute," she repeated herself again.

"Goodbye, Kai," I cut her off and began backing out of the driveway, ignoring the indignant yelp from her. I waved over my shoulder and drove the few…feet down the street back to mine and Sora's house, parking on the curb because Sora's car was in the driveway. I turned off the car and pocketed the keys, hopping out and slamming the door shut, jogging up the walkway and into the house.

"Hello?" I called out, unsure where Sora was.

"Upstairs, Rox!" he hollered from my bedroom. Running upstairs, I pushed open the door to my room and spotted Sora sitting at his drum set and our other buddy, Demyx, sitting on my bed.

"About time you got here," Demyx said to me as he looked up from the electric guitar in his hands.

"Sorry, had to pick up and drop off Kairi," I explained as I shut the door behind me, grabbing my bass guitar from the floor.

"Yeah well, you can spend time with your girlfriend later. Right now, we have practice to take care of." Demyx grinned teasingly.

"She's not my girlfriend-"

"Yeah, sure, we've heard it plenty of times," Sora waved it off, spinning around on his stool.

"Oh shut up," I shot back and grabbed my music folder from under my bed, flipping through the various sheets of music.

Ever since I was little, I knew what I wanted to be when I grew up. You know how in elementary school they ask you what you want to be and the typical answers were like, a fireman or a vet? Yeah, mine was being a rock star. I've had that on my mind since I was about seven I guess.

Rox the rock star. Yeah, I've heard that joke plenty of times, trust me.

But now I'm actually getting a lot closer to reaching that dream than I thought. Before my dad moved out, he taught me how to play bass and guitar. The last present I got from him before he left was the bass I have right now. I guess I'm pretty good at it; I mean, I could be better, but you get the idea.

Sora on the other hand was (and still is) a major band nerd. He started playing drums when we were in 6th grade for the school band after realizing that the sax just wasn't for him. He hasn't quit the school band, but he's not as obsessive as he used to be. I guess it's because he's more focused on our band.

And then of course there was Demyx. I can't even really tell you how we picked up the mohawked freak, but we did. He's got some great guitar skills too; actually, before he joined our band, he was trying to be a solo artist under the name Melodious Nocturne. Needless to say, it didn't exactly work out for him. And because he chose to skip school to try and chase after his dream, he ended up failing his freshman year of high school and ending up being held back in our grade.

Yeah, he wasn't too happy about that, but he didn't mind much once he found out that Sora and I were looking for a guitarist.

We officially became a band somewhere near the end of our freshman year. Sora plays drums, Demyx is the guitarist and back-up singer, and myself, I'm the bassist and lead singer. Demyx and Sora both agreed that my voice was the best out of the three of us. I guess I agree, but I still don't like the sound of my own voice. The people we play for do though. We haven't had very many gigs over the years, just sporadic ones here and there. On the bright side, that's given me plenty of time to write songs for us to try out.

Yep, you heard me. I write our songs too, whatever I can think of. Some songs are slow, some fast, some inspiring, some heart-wrenching, and some crack songs like Happy Holidays, You Bastard. Trust me, I can create anything on a dime.

"Have you written anything new recently?" Demyx asked me as he tuned his guitar a bit, not bothering to look up at me.

"What a dumb question, Dem," Sora interrupted. "It's **Roxas**; Roxas is always writing new songs."

He's got a point.

"Yeah, I did. I'm not sure if I really like them though," I replied for myself, handing over a sheet of music and lyrics to the guitarist. Demyx took them and scanned the notes quickly, playing the beginning chord quietly. He read over the words and raised an eyebrow, looking at me skeptically.

"Nice…but it's not your best work."

"Yeah, I know," I sighed and threw the folder on the floor. "I just haven't really been inspired lately, that's all."

"Why not?" Sora looked up from his drum set and finally joined the rest of us. Wait, why am I saying the rest of us? It was just me and Demyx. Ugh, whatever, you get my point.

"I don't know. Just nothing's really happened lately, that's all." I shrugged. Sora hopped off of his stool and shuffled toward my bed, sitting on the floor in front of me and Demyx.

See, most of our band practices aren't really practices at all. We just hang out here, discuss our music, end up talking about other stuff, and maybe, if we're really lucky, practice a few songs before Demyx has to leave for work. Right now I was beginning to think that this practice would end up being a discussion session.

"It's the summer though. Doesn't really surprise me," Demyx retorted as he set his guitar down, stretching out on my bed. I couldn't help but eye at him as his shirt rode up, exposing a bit of his abs.

Hey, it never hurts to look, right?

Granted, Demyx didn't know that I even swung that way. He knew I liked girls…for the most part. But even if he did know then, I doubt he would have cared.

After all, Sora's bisexual too.

Then again, Sora's also got a boyfriend. Name's Riku, remember him? I mentioned him earlier as Sora's best friend. Yeah, unlike me who has his best friend screwing him over, Sora just has his best friend screwing him. Period. They've been "official" since well…I don't really know. See, I have this theory that they've been secretly fooling around since we were in like, 7th grade and that they just didn't come out to any of us until freshman year.

But that's just a theory.

Not that I mind. First of all, it's not my business what my cousin does in his spare time, although I could really do without the details of his sexlife. Secondly, it's not like Riku's a bad guy. Actually, he's pretty cool. If Sora had to be with a guy, I'm glad it's Riku.

…okay, enough of this mushy crap, back to the story at hand.

"So what, you think that as soon as school starts, I'll have more to write on?" I could feel my eyebrow raise involuntarily. Demyx nodded and sat back up, glancing back at me.

"Well yeah, think about it. It's our senior year; there's bound to be heaps of comedy, tragedy, drama, and of course lo-ove," he drawled out that last word, winking at me.

"Love? Roxas? Roxas couldn't write a love song if he tried," Sora laughed and jumped onto the bed, wiggling his way between me and Demyx.

"What makes you so sure?" I suddenly asked, unsure if I should feel offended or agree with him.

"Well Rox, in case you haven't noticed, you're pretty…erm, lacking in that department," Demyx reminded me, giving me a sheepish grin.

"So? That doesn't mean that I can't write a good love song."

"Actually, that's exactly what it means," Sora pointed out, leaning against Demyx's shoulder.

"What?"

"Roxas, you can't really write a love song if you don't know what love is," Demyx explained to me, shifting slightly so that both he and Sora were more comfortable. "It just doesn't work."

I just sat there for a few moments, contemplating what to say next. On one hand, Demyx was totally right. I didn't know what love was. I was single, uninterested, and just flat-out boring. Didn't mean I wasn't curious about the idea though. After all, who wouldn't be infatuated by the idea of having a romance?

Yeah, that's what I thought.

"Yeah well…I bet you I could," I slowly answered him.

"You really think so huh. Bet ya you can't." Sora rolled over to face me again.

"Is that a challenge?"

"…yes, yes it is," Demyx decided.

"So what are the grounds for this 'challenge'?" I asked them, not liking the looks in their eyes.

As a note, never let Sora and Demyx plan something together. Usually it's evil, and usually something goes wrong.

Usually.

"Well…here's what we've thought up," Sora started out, glancing at Demyx for confirmation.

"Wait, you guys have been planning this?"

"Yeah, of course!" Demyx flashed me his "winning" smile.

"…okay, so what have you got up your sleeves that I don't know about?"

"I bet you that you can't write a love song by the time Battle of the Bands rolls around," Sora finally said, smirking at me in almost a Riku-like manner.

"What happens if I lose?"

"If you lose, you have to play at the battle. Stark. Naked," Demyx said with extra emphasis. I couldn't help but roll my eyes. I wasn't really surprised either. It just seemed like something Sora would think of.

No, my cousin doesn't like seeing me naked, sickos. He just enjoys embarrassing the shit out of me.

"And if I win?"

"Oh, you won't, so don't worry about it!" Sora replied cheekily. I frowned slightly and just glared at him.

"Oh stop pouting, Roxas. It won't do much for your image." Demyx nudged me with his elbow.

"I'm not pouting-"

"Yeah yeah, whatever," Sora interrupted. "Look, the bet starts now, Rox. You have until May. That's…how many months?"

"Nine," I answered immediately. It then dawned on me. "Nine months…you don't think that I can write a love song in nine months?!"

"Of course not. It's because you're Roxas."

"…right."

"Anyway, now that that's taken care of, new topic," Demyx intervened. "School starts next week. You guys ready?"

"I am. I just wanna graduate and move on. Riku said that as soon as we're out of school, we're moving away somewhere on our own," Sora replied, turning his attention to the new conversation. "He hasn't said where, but he said that'd it'd be somewhere a little ways away, just to get a change of atmosphere or something."

"Riku just wants to get you away so he can bang you," Demyx snorted.

"But he does that now…"

"Anyway! Roxas, what about you?" Two pairs of eyes turned onto me.

"School's school…" I shrugged. "Should I really be excited?"

"Roxas, it's our senior year!" Sora exclaimed, looking at me like I was retarded.

"So?"

"You're not excited at all?" Demyx gave me another confused look.

"No…? What's there to be excited about?"

"Oh my god, Roxas!" Both of them shouted simultaneously.

"What?!"

"You're never excited about anything!"

"You're boring, Rox!"

"How can you not be pumped for our last year of high school?"

"We're **graduating!** Think about it!"

The two of them continued to bombard me with such statements, each one growing louder than the last. I swear that they were trying to outdo each other just to annoy me. Luckily, I felt something vibrate in my pocket in the midst of Sora and Demyx's shouting war.

I wish they would grow up.

"Guys, shut up for a second!" I yelled over them and pulled my cell phone out of my pocket, flipping it open and answering. "Hello?"

"So guess what I found out?"

Kairi, figures.

"What'd you find out, Kai?" I asked her idly, not really thinking it was something important. Sora and Demyx stopped their yelling and proceeded to make kissing noises and faces. You know, like boys used to do in elementary school?

Did I mention that I wish they would grow up? Really, I do.

"Well, I think it's important and I thought you should know," Kairi continued from the other end of the line. I snapped my fingers and pointed toward the door.

"Out!" I ordered Sora and Demyx. The two brunets kept laughing at me on their way out, still making those damn faces and noises. I followed them and slammed the door in their face, locking it behind them. "Now, what is it that's so important that you had to call me right away?"

"Axel's single," she replied. I raised an eyebrow and sat back on my bed, laying on my back and looking up at the ceiling.

"And this should concern me because?"

"Because you think he's cute?"

"No. I never said that I thought he was cute. **You** said that I thought he was cute. Oh, and by the way, I don't think he's cute!" I protested again.

"Yeah you do, you just don't realize it yet. Anyway, I just thought you should know, in case you were curious."

"Wait, curious about what…?"

"Dating another guy of course. Or Axel in general."

"Kairi, seriously, I don't think I want to-"

"Roxas, listen to me. He's single, he's good-looking, and he's right in front of your face!" she cut me off. "What's so terrible about this whole situation?"

"Um, let's try that he's not **gay****?**" I replied flatly. "Look, I…think I appreciate what you're doing, but really, it's fine. If I wanted a…boyfriend, it wouldn't be somebody who's first words were an insult."

"He called you pretty."

"He did not. That's just a figure of speech."

"Roxas…stop being difficult. Besides, I bet anything he's at least bisexual."

"…we're not having this discussion."

"But Roxas-"

"Bye Kai!" I said cheerfully and hung up.

Yeah, I can be an asshole sometimes when I have to be. But really, she was pushing it. Me? Liking some asshole who insulted me for no reason? Thinking some jerkoff is cute because of his silk-like red hair and fascinating eyes?

No, wait…they're not that special.

Me? Daring to test out my bisexuality with somebody who doesn't even seem to be worth it? Questioning what it would be like to be with somebody that cocky and self-assured?

Oh yeah, she was **definitely** pushing it.

But if that was the case, why was I thinking about all of these things? Why was I laying on my bed, phone in my hand, and thinking about that redheaded boy? Axel…who names their child after a car part? I had to admit though, it was an interesting name. Something that made remembering the face easier. Remembering the spikes of flaming red and the luscious green eyes. Remembering that confident grin made of straight white teeth. Remembering that teasing voice that sounded so rich.

Great. I hung up with Kairi ten minutes ago and I was still thinking about this kid. What the hell was wrong with me? Why did I even care? This was all Kairi's fault, I'm sure of it. If she hadn't brought up the idea that I thought this boy was cute, I wouldn't be sitting here thinking about it. If she hadn't needed a ride home from work, I wouldn't have met the tall redhead at all. If she hadn't even had a job at the Noon Moon, I could have avoided all of this all together.

But the biggest thing of all, if she hadn't screwed me over, I wouldn't have experienced love at first sight.

Damn her. Damn her to hell I say.

* * *

So...I've gone through and started editing these chapters and I lost all authors notes that used to be here. Oops.


	2. Take My Advice, Cause We Are Bad News

**Chapter Two**

_Take My Advice, Cause We Are Bad News_

* * *

So as you can tell, I was in quite a predicament by that point in my life. Then again, maybe it was just me overreacting to something so small and insignificant that it turned into something much bigger. According to Kairi, I have a tendency to do that.

But why am I listening to Kairi? She was the one who got me into this mess in the first place.

After that phone call, I spent the entire night thinking about what she said and arguing with myself on whether she was right or not. I mean, obviously she wasn't right, but maybe she was partially right. I doubted it though; I had already decided that I didn't think Axel was cute or anything, he was just that annoying guy from the Noon Moon.

Or was he?

* * *

About three days after my first run-in with Axel, Kairi called to inform me and Sora that we had to go pick up our class schedule from school. All three of us piled into Sora's car and headed out, arriving there at about 11 am.

"So do you guys even know what classes you signed up for?" Kairi asked as she untangled herself from Sora's passenger seatbelt, jumping out of the car and closing the door. Sora and I followed suit and we headed up the steps into the building in the direction of the cafeteria area.

"I pretty much know," Sora started out, slipping his hands into his pockets.

"Lemme guess, anything and everything with Riku?" Kairi cut him off. My cousin grinned sheepishly and nodded slightly.

"Just about, yeah, except he's taking Art when I'm in Phys Ed and I think we're in different math classes. But still, that's four out of six," he concluded.

"Yeah well, I know I'm in a few classes with you and Riku and then Roxas and I are in a few together, aren't we?" Kairi turned to me questioningly, blinking unsurely. I ran my tongue over my top row of braces, trying to remember what I signed up for way back last May.

…okay fine yes, I said it: braces. And why didn't I mention that I had braces before? Because, rock stars don't have braces, period. Besides, I wanted to sound cool.

…oh shut up.

"Yeah, I guess. I can't really remember what we signed up for, but I guess we'll find out right?" I shrugged and turned, walking into the cafeteria where a good majority of our high school was already standing around waiting to grab their papers and leave.

"…maybe we should have come earlier?" Sora said more like a question, taking in the sight of everyone.

"Hmm. I bet they're all underclassmen," Kairi replied and what she was saying really did make sense. The underclassmen always went to get their stuff early so that they could avoid us seniors.

After all, we did the same thing last year as juniors.

"Great, this is gonna take us forever," I sighed and leaned against the wall, facing Sora and Kairi. Sora opened his mouth to reply but was soon cut off by the sound of his name. The three of us looked to the left and spotted a head of silver hair walking toward us calmly. Sora's eyes lit up and his smile grew wider as he tore away from us, practically pouncing on the kid.

Riku. That should explain it all, shouldn't it?

"Riku! When did you get back?" Sora practically shouted, holding onto his boyfriend tightly. Unlike most guys that would have been a little afraid of Sora's death grip, Riku took it like a man and hugged him back, albeit gentler.

See, that's the thing I like about Riku. He's always taken care of Sora no matter what and even though it kills my ego to admit this, I do worry about my cousin. He's actually really childlike and a little…sensitive I guess? He's naïve as all hell and gullible beyond belief. That doesn't mean that he's not mature of course. He's just…oh hell, I can't describe it. He's so carefree about everything that he wouldn't be able to handle himself if he got hurt. Therefore, Riku's there to protect him.

And besides, Sora's so devoted to Riku anyway and vice versa that they're just perfect together. They really do have the ideal relationship that everybody wants. They may be dating each other, but they don't expect anything from the other more than what they'd do if they were best friends only.

Granted, that doesn't stop them from sleeping together! But still, they're balanced.

Kairi and Selphie both think it's cute. Demyx likes to tease Sora about being the girl in the relationship. And me? Well, promise not to tell? Swear on your life? Okay well…

I was jealous. Monstrously, massively, green-with-envy off the charts jealous. Of course, I never bothered to tell Sora that. Why should I? It was probably my own fault that I didn't have somebody to love me like Riku loved Sora. Besides, that would just be a cruel and unusual thing to do, bringing Sora down over one of the best things in his life. Despite the fact that I can be pretty heartless sometimes, I can never bring myself to hurting any members of my family or my super-close friends.

It's just how I roll.

"We got back at about seven last night. I was gonna call you but I was really tired and kind of jet-lagged. Vivi seemed happy though; I take it you took good care of him?" Riku asked as he rested his chin on Sora's shoulder. Riku had been gone for most of the summer, traveling abroad with his parents. He left Sora in charge of taking care of his border collie, Vivi, hence why Sora was at Riku's when Riku wasn't home.

"Yeah, I did. I took him home at like, three yesterday afternoon because I thought that you'd be back by then." Sora grinned and shrugged. "Plus I figured he needed to get used to his home again since he's been living with us since June."

"Well, we were supposed to be back by then, but our flight was delayed for some reason or other." Riku shrugged as well.

"Ah well, you're back at least," my cousin reasoned and stood on his toes, brushing a kiss against Riku's lips.

"Aw, how cute!" Kairi giggled to herself and Sora pulled away, smiling shyly. Riku on the other hand shook his head and laughed.

"Never gets old, does it?"

"Of course not!" She grinned back at him. Riku released Sora long enough to hug her briefly.

"How've you been, Princess Kairi?" he asked her as my best friend hugged him back, not really bothered by the nickname.

"I've been great. And you, I bet you have a lot to tell us about your trip."

"Of course I do, but that can wait until later," he replied and let go of her, turning back to me. "And how's our residential emo-kid?"

Yes, emo-kid. I admit, I probably look like I'm a bit of an emo-kid, but it's not like I meant to! Nevertheless, the nickname stuck and I found myself with no escape.

"Fine I guess." I shrugged. From somewhere behind me, I heard Sora make a sound almost like a whimper. Riku glided back over to my cousin and wrapped his arms around him again.

"Oh stop that, Kitten. You know I'm not neglecting you," he assured him and kissed his forehead. Sora stopped whimpering and smiled, snuggling deeper into Riku's hold.

Sometimes, it sickens me to watch them.

"Anyway! Aren't we here to get our schedules?" I interrupted them before they could continue cuddling and kissing.

"Impatient-much?" Kairi quirked an eyebrow at me and I shrugged in return.

"Well look, the lines are starting to die down. Maybe we can get in there and get out now," I rationalized and began making my way over toward my line. Sora and Riku shrugged and followed me; after all, they were in the same line of K-T. Kairi wandered off by herself into the line next to us and started talking to another girl that I don't even remember the name of. Guess it doesn't really matter.

"Hey Rox, me and Riku are heading to the beach for one last day before vacation's over. You wanna come?" Sora asked me as we continued moving closer to the table.

"Only if you promise I don't have to witness sex on the beach," I replied and slipped my hands into my pockets, only half-joking. Riku smirked and pulled Sora forward again.

"You know you like it."

"Oh totally. My favorite hobby in the world is watching my cousin get banged by his boyfriend. Mmh, good times." I rolled my eyes and looked over at the pair of them. "But for real, I'll come with. What about Kairi and the others?"

"Haven't gotten around to asking them yet," Sora replied as he reached the table, placing his hands down on the surface. "Tanaka, Sora," he said to the lady behind the table and grabbed his piece of paper, moving off to the side as Riku grabbed his "Masaki, Riku" schedule. I walked up behind them and grabbed mine, walking away with the pair to go find Kairi and turning to watch them instead of where I was going.

"So are we gonna go now?" I asked as I suddenly ran into somebody's chest. I stopped dead in my tracks and I looked up and met green eyes and fiery red hair.

It was then I realized that God hated me and wanted to spite me, just because he could.

"Maybe you should watch where you're going, huh Shortstuff?" Axel shot me his Cheshire-cat grin, stopping in his steps and placing a hand on a jutted-out hip.

What a fucking flamer.

"I have a name you know," I told him, glaring up at him.

"I should hope so. I just don't know what it is, ya know?" he replied, staring down at me with that same stupid smirk on his face. "So, care to share, Shorty?"

"It's Roxas," I all but growled, ignoring the weird looks I was getting from both Sora and Riku. Axel tilted his head to the side thoughtfully, giving me the once-over before nodding.

"Roxas, got it. Roxas what?"

"Mihara," I answered before I even comprehended that I opened my mouth. Again, he nodded and shifted his position a bit.

"Hmm…Roxas Mihara…interesting."

"Listen, asshat. I don't know what your problem is, but you are seriously weird," I said flatly. He blinked once, blinked twice, and promptly snickered under his breath.

"I have a name too you know. Axel, Axel Tamashi. Got it memorized?" he stated rather than asked, poking me in the chest lightly.

Yeah, I had it memorized. Doesn't mean I had to like it, dumbass. This kid was seriously starting to bug me and I was ready to pull my hair out in giant fistfuls when Sora suddenly yelled in my ear.

"Demyx!" Axel and I both looked behind us and spotted the mohawked-wonder approaching us. He finally reached us and grinned.

"Hey guys!"

"Hey, Myx," I mumbled, returning my gaze to Axel, who was also staring at me. Demyx looked at Axel and his grin grew wider.

"So I see you guys have already met each other," he said, once again bringing Axel and I out of our staring contest (which, by the way, Axel was losing at, badly).

"You know him?" we both asked simultaneously, blinking in surprise. Demyx merely beamed and nodded.

"Yep. Axel, this is Roxas, my bandmate and one of my best buddies. And Roxas, this is Axel, my buddy from abroad! Oh, and Ax, the little brunet is Sora and the silver-haired girly one is Riku."

"I'm not **that** abroad," Axel interjected while Riku protested his girliness. Sora focused on Axel and looked at him curiously.

"So where ya from?"

Axel's eyes flickered to his shoes and he shrugged. "Doesn't really matter. Not something I want to discuss," he casually brushed it off. Aha! So there was something he was hiding! I knew something wasn't right about this kid!

…or maybe he just didn't want to talk about it. There are things I don't ever want to talk about ever again, such as the sandbox incident of '97.

…please don't ask.

"Oh well, that's okay. I think you'll really like it here though, I mean, what's not to like? We've got the beach for crying out loud! And then we have a really cool boardwalk and the shops are usually interesting 'cause a lot of them change merchandise daily and there's always the movie theatre and the bowling alley and all kinds of stuff. If you want, you can hang out with us sometime to get a feel of everything," Sora rambled out rather quickly, obviously excited about the idea of having a new person on our island.

Then again, like I said, Sora was always the social butterfly of our family. I think he gets it from Riku. But the fast-talking thing, I have no idea where he got that and I have no idea how Axel managed to understand any of it but he laughed slightly and nodded.

"Yeah sure, that'd be cool." He grinned and Sora's smile stretched. I could feel my eye twitching and I grabbed Sora by the forearm.

"Can I talk to you? Thanks." I dragged him away from our group, pinning him against a wall.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Are you insane!" I countered back.

"Only on days that end with y. Why do you ask?" I sighed and shook my head, nodding back toward Axel who was busy talking to **my** friends.

"Remember how I was talking about the guy who made fun of my build?"

"Scrawny?"

"Yeah, that. Well, that's him," I pointed out. Sora stared at me blankly and shook his head, pushing me away from him gently.

"Jeezes Rox, I should have known that you were just overreacting," he laughed and began walking back toward our group.

"Wait, what?" I yelled, following after him. Sora looked back at me from over his shoulder and grinned again.

"You're a drama queen, Rox. Every little thing with you is like 'Zo my god, the sky is falling!' And I don't know what your issue is this time, Chicken Little, but I don't see anything wrong with Axel. He seems nice enough."

"But-" I tried to protest but soon found a tanned hand slammed over my mouth.

"No. I don't care. You are going to be nice because I said so. Or I'll tell your new 'friend' about the sandbox incident," Sora threatened me, smirking knowingly.

"Mmph!"

"Then will you play nice?" I had no other option than to nod. Sora removed his hand and began walking again with me following behind him.

"I hate you," I mumbled.

"Love ya too, Roxy!" He smiled cheekily and bounced up to Riku. I eventually found my way back to our group. Kairi had shown up at some point, along with another friend of ours, Naminé. Nami's a cute little blond, starting her junior year.

"Naminé, are you coming to the beach with us?" I heard Kairi ask as I approached my friends.

"I can't, I told Marluxia that I'd meet him for lunch as soon as I got my schedule. Sorry." Naminé smiled apologetically.

Oh yeah, did I mention that Naminé is also dating a pedophile? Well maybe it's not true pedophilia, but it's pretty damn close. I mean, she's barely 16, he just turned 19. But they've been together for the past two years, so there's nothing any of us can really do about it. Besides, Marluxia's a nice guy.

Sort of.

"Roxas, you're coming with us aren't you?" Kairi shook me out of my thoughts. I looked up at her and nodded.

"Yeah, I already told Sora I would."

"Awesome!" Sora suddenly appeared in front of me. "Oh, and Axel's coming with us too," he added, throwing a smirk at me. He really needs to stop hanging out with Riku.

"What?" I squawked, gapping at my cousin in disbelief.

"You heard me."

"But…why?!"

"Because I said so. Besides, he's new in town and he could use a few friends don't you think?" Sora pointed out to me.

"Well sure, I'm all for him having friends but why does he have to be friends with **us**?" I retorted before I felt a sharp slap behind the head. "Ow!" I whirled around and found myself facing Kairi's infamous glare. Now you have to realize, Kairi doesn't glare very often, so when she glares at you, you know you're in deep shit.

"Roxas Michael Mihara," she started out. Ooh, wince, middle name-usage. Yep, I was definitely in for it now. She knows I hate my middle name besides (it's my father's name, go figure). "How could you be so selfish? You should be ashamed of yourself for wanting to shun away somebody just because you're too sensitive to take a joke!" she ranted at me.

"What? Too sensitive? Yeah right! Kairi, I just don't like how cocky and irritating this guy is," I tried to explain myself. Kairi glanced over to our left where Riku and Axel were deep in conversation with Demyx adding his two cents in every now and then.

"That doesn't look cocky and irritating to me," she noted and looked back at me. "I think you're just being rude."

"But Kairi!"

"Roxas, if you're going to act like a big brat over one measly comment from a few days ago, then you can go home. Comprende?"

"Yes," I mumbled and looked at my feet, even though I still disagreed with her. But I guess my answer satisfied her because she smiled and gave me a one-armed hug.

"There, that's better."

"What did Axel say to him that was so awful?" Naminé questioned as she folded up her schedule and placed it in her pocket.

"He just called him scrawny," Kairi replied with a roll of her eyes. Naminé's eyes flickered over me briefly before returning to Kairi.

"He is scrawny though…"

"I know, that's what I said! But no, Roxas just has to cause problems."

What. The. Hell. My friends were ganging up on me, Axel was worming his way into **my** circle, and to top that off, I was pretty sure that I had already lost my schedule because it was no longer in my pocket.

What a great way to end the summer huh?

"Hey, are you guys ready to go?" Demyx hollered at us from over by the doors of the cafeteria, Axel and Riku waiting with him.

"Yeah, coming!" Sora yelled back and ran toward them quickly.

"Yeah and I bet by the end of the day, Riku will have Sora really coming," Kairi said under her breath with Naminé giggling beside her.

"Gah, Kairi that's disgusting!" I whined as the three of us headed for the doors.

"Maybe so, but it never gets old." She smiled innocently.

"Freak."

"Your fault."

"And? I blame Sora, who would probably blame Riku who would probably blame…who would Riku blame?"

"Santa Clause?" Naminé suggested.

"Hey, don't diss on Santa!" Sora popped up from nowhere.

"Anyway, are we going home to grab our suits first or is this one of those go as you are things?" I interrupted him.

"Yeah, we're going home first. Axel's going with Demyx and Riku and we're all just meeting at the usual spot," Sora explained as we headed out to the parking lot.

"Well, have fun guys. I'm headed downtown to meet Marluxia," Naminé said to us and waved. "But I'll see you tomorrow."

"Definitely. See ya later, Nami!" Kairi waved before hopping into the front seat of Sora's car.

"We'll see ya tomorrow!" Sora grinned and slipped into the drivers seat.

"Don't let Marluxia touch you inappropriately!" I jumped into the backseat before Naminé could object. Sora started the car and we pulled out of the parking lot as Naminé waited for the town bus, turning back down the street and heading home.

* * *

So about thirty minutes, two stops, one exploding closet, and one boat trip later, we finally made it to our usual beach spot; our play island. Yes, the same play island where I met everybody almost ten years ago. We still go to the island sometimes just to get away from everything. It's great, nobody can bother us and we can't bother them. Sora, Kairi, and I hightailed it down to the paopu island, or rather, Riku's island, where everybody else was already sitting and it seemed as though we had an extra stray.

"Hey guys!" Selphie bounced up from her spot on the sand and tackled Kairi onto the ground first.

Okay, I don't know about you, but honestly, imagine this: two hot girls, one in a pink bikini, the other in a yellow one, on top of each other on the sand.

**Hot. **

"Hey Selph," Sora and I greeted her while Kairi laughed and pushed her friend off.

"I didn't know you were going to be here," she said.

"Yeah well, surprise?" she laughed and gave Kairi a sheepish grin, bouncing back onto her feet. "The boys are already in the water, let's go!" And with that, Selphie dragged my best friend into the ocean with Riku and Demyx.

"Hey wait for me!" Sora shouted and charged after them, successfully catching up and pouncing on Riku, knocking his boyfriend down into the water. And me? I climbed up onto Riku's island and sat on the well-worn paopu tree, watching. I wasn't really a big fan of swimming and truthfully, I needed to work on my tan. I stretched out and closed my eyes slightly, keeping watch over my friends down in the water below me. Sora, Riku, Kairi, Selphie, and Demyx. Wait, somebody was missing. What happened to Axel?

"So what's your excuse for not being in the water?" I heard from somewhere above me.

I'm sorry I asked.

"I just don't feel like swimming," I replied shortly. "Do you mind, you're kind of in my sunlight." I heard shuffling and then felt extra weight added to the tree. I opened my eyes and glared over the top of my sunglasses at the redhead sitting by my feet. "Okay, I'll bite, what's your excuse?"

"I'm not much of a swimmer," he shrugged with a small grin. Demyx tried teaching me a few times…yeah, I wasn't very good at it and Demyx kind of got bored trying to teach me," he laughed slightly.

"Mmh." I nodded and closed my eyes again. That didn't surprise me any; Demyx was like, born for the water. That's why he's the star of our school swim team, which is funny because you'd think that the mohawk would weigh him down but it doesn't.

Anyway back to the story. Axel and I sat on that tree in silence for a while, neither of us speaking and merely observing our…well, my friends below us. My eyes kept opening and closing though so it was more like Axel observing; that is, until Axel started talking.

"Why do you hate me?" he asked me.

"Because you're a douchebag," I replied without opening my eyes.

"Oh come on, you don't really think that, do you?"

"Yep."

"…oh. I see," he said quietly, almost like he was a bit hurt. I highly doubted that though, he had too much of an ego to be hurt much anyway. The tree shook a bit as he slid down from his perch on it and I opened my eyes ever-so-slightly to see what he was doing. Wait, he was climbing down the ladder into the water. Wait a second!

"What are you doing?" I sat upright and lifted my sunglasses from my face, watching the redhead descend into the water.

"Well, since I'm a douchebag, I'm going into the water to join the people that can tolerate me," he said with a wink and jumped the rest of the way off of the ladder, swimming away to join my friends who were a little further out from the shore. I stared at him in disbelief and flopped back against the tree trunk, folding my arms over my chest and sulking a bit. I couldn't believe that he brushed me off that easily, just like the word douchebag meant nothing.

He'd probably been called one plenty of times before.

Fact of the matter was, the guy had spunk and he wasn't going to budge on his own. I had to think of a way to chase him off or get him to leave on his own. I knew there was a way, I just wasn't sure how yet. Slipping my sunglasses back on and closing my eyes, I chewed on my lower lip and pondered all of my options which were, well, not many to tell you the truth. Normally I could have easily devised a plan to get rid of somebody, but for some reason I was having trouble coming up with a set-up for Axel. Maybe it was because the guy was too damn smart and could blow me off again. Maybe it was because I was too preoccupied with the idea of school starting the next day to focus.

Or maybe it was because part of me didn't want to drive him away.

I really didn't know what was going on, but I did know I didn't like it. I mean honestly, I wasn't supposed to be curious about some cockbite who thought he could waltz into our lives and be easily accepted. But then again, that's what was happening and there wasn't much I could do about it other than accept the fact. My friends were convinced that he was a good guy and that I was just a basket case but I was still determined to show them that he wasn't a good guy like he seemed. I just didn't know how. My brain started to feel a little fuzzy the longer I thought about it and everything sort of slipped out of focus as my eyelids fluttered and I ended up falling asleep basking in the sunlight.

_

* * *

First of all, I felt weird. Then I felt something laying on top of my body and I opened my eyes, finding myself peering into a pair of bright green ones. Red hair tickled my face and I swatted it away, looking around for my other friends. There was no one; everyone had left but Axel apparently._

"_What are you-" I started to ask before he pressed a finger to my lips, silencing me._

"_You looked so calm sleeping there I didn't want to disturb you," he said softly, sitting back on his haunches above me. I sat up again so that I was eye-level with him. _

"_You should have! Now I don't have a ride home!" I yelled and glared._

"_So? You can stay here with me for a while…" _

"…_why would I want to do that?" I raised an eyebrow, unsure of what to do._

"_I don't know, it's just what I want to do." He shrugged and leaned in closer to me._

"_But why?" _

"_Because I think you're beautiful," he whispered and leaned in even further so that our noses were suddenly only about a hairs-width apart._

"_What?" _

"_You're gorgeous. Got it memorized?" He smirked slightly before tilting his head and brushing his lips over mine. He didn't move away though and I, well I just didn't move at all. After all, how was I supposed to react to that? Kissing him back was the logical answer but I wasn't sure that's what I wanted to do. After all, I just met the guy four days ago and he's kissing me._

"_Rox…come on," he mumbled lowly, continuing to try and coax me into the kiss. I opened my mouth to protest against him. _

_Yeah, that was a bad idea. He took that opportunity to slip his tongue into my mouth, earning a startled squeak from me as the foreign warm wet muscle invaded my personal space. It was awkward to say the least, especially since I wasn't even attempting to respond._

"_Roxas," he breathed out again and flicked his tongue against mine. I felt my breathing hitch and I froze a bit, suddenly urged to kiss him back. Why? I wasn't too sure myself, but I knew that I was gonna try no matter what. Okay so to do so, I had to start by moving my lips slowly against his, followed by tracing my tongue along his. Well, maybe not, it just didn't feel like it was right. But judging by the moan I got from Axel, I'd say I wasn't doing half bad. The next thing I knew, I had a warm hand pressed against my naked back and another on the back of my neck, drawing me closer to him. I soon found myself practically straddling Axel's lap, unsure if he caused it or if I did. I guess it didn't really matter, we both were pretty comfortable as our tongues continued battling for dominance. _

_It suddenly hit me that I was making out with a.) a guy that I didn't even like as a person and b.) a guy in general! Holy cheesenips, Batman, call the fucking presses! Tell them that I was making out with a guy on an island and that I didn't give a shit. Let the people talk; that's the way of a rock star. _

_My only question was, why weren't my braces getting caught on his lip or something?_

_Oh what the hell, who cares? All that mattered was the fact that I was pressed up against this hot guy making out with him and that-his hand was slowly making it's way down the waistband of my swim trunks? Holy shit! _

"_Axel…" Whoa, was that me? Must have been, because I don't think Axel would be moaning his own name, unless he was really that narcissistic. His hand continued traveling lower and his tongue slipped out of my mouth, his own mouth settling down on my neck. He sank his teeth into the flesh gently and began licking and sucking. _

_Damn it was hot._

"_Roxas…" he whispered between each bite and lick. "Roxas, wake up." _

Wait, what?

"Roxas, wake up!" I jolted suddenly and fell off of the tree, landing on the ground with a loud thud and opened my eyes. Kairi was standing above me and the others were down on the beach packing up and getting ready to head out.

"Having a nice nap?" Kairi grinned knowingly. I sat up and shook my head slowly, trying to clear it and separate the dream-bits from reality.

Okay so, I was going to take a wild chance and guess that I wasn't making out with Axel. Jeezes, what a way to trick a guy huh? But wait, my question was, why was I even dreaming about him?

"Um, are we ready to go?" I changed the subject, standing up and walking toward Kairi. She nodded and giggled slightly. "What?" I raised an eyebrow.

"You might wanna cover up or something," she suggested and continued laughing, nodding toward my…crotch? I looked down and blinked in surprise.

Well shoot son, that Axel dream left me with a semi-hard cock. Great, just flippin' perfect. Summer vacation's over in less than 24 hours, my best friend just witnessed me practically having a wet dream, and the guy that was the star of my wet dream was a complete and total asshat.

Funny how life works out.

* * *

So imagine lying in your bed, surrounded in the peaceful silence of the evening and enjoying your sleeping time.

Now imagine that silence being pierced by a loud vibrating sound and Sean Paul's "Temperature" blasting right next to your ear. Well, let's just say that I ended up jumping five feet in the air and practically falling off of my bed. I reached over onto my bedside table and grasped around in the dark for my ringing cell phone, making a mental note to kill Sora later for putting the stupid song on my phone to begin with. Finally wrapping my fingers around the small flip phone, I answered it and laid back against my pillows.

"Hello?" I answered through a yawn, blinking sleepily.

"You were dreaming about Axel earlier weren't you?"

Kairi. Figures.

"What?"

"Earlier at the play island, you were dreaming about Axel, weren't you?" she repeated, sounding wide awake. I grabbed for my watch on the table next to me and realized that it was only a little past two in the morning.

"…what the fuck, Kai. Couldn't you have asked me about this tomorrow or something? It's two o'clock in the fucking morning and I don't know about you, but I was actually asleep," I complained and threw the watch across the room.

"Yeah, but you tend to be more truthful when you're groggy."

"…Kairi! I want to sleep, go away!"

"Just answer my question!"

"Okay fine, yes I was dreaming about Axel, so what?" I sighed, rolling over onto my side. "Doesn't mean anything."

"It means you find him attractive," she countered.

"No, it means that I was suffering from heat stroke."

"Roxas, you can't deny it forever."

"Watch me," I replied, growing more agitated as the conversation went on.

"I am watching and the fact of the matter is, you think he's sex-"

Yeah, I hung up on her. I didn't want to have to deal with Kairi's crazy theories that early in the morning and now I was pretty sure I wouldn't be able to go back to sleep. See, when people wake me up from a deep sleep, I can't resume where I was. So I ended up laying there staring at the ceiling for about five hours, convincing myself that Kairi was still wrong and that maybe she had spent too much time in the sun too.

I guess maybe I did end up falling asleep because the next thing I knew, I suddenly felt an extra weight throw itself on top of my chest and an ungodly loud voice yelling "first day of school!" in my ear.

"Sora, get off of me!" I yelped and threw my cousin to the floor. Oh don't worry, it didn't hurt him any, he bounced right back up and started in again on his "first day of school!" mantra.

"Roxas! First day of school!" he shouted excitedly, pouncing back on my bed again.

"Okay, Nemo, chill. I know it's the first day, big deal." I rolled my eyes and pushed him off of the bed again. But he jumped right back up and bounced on my mattress. What was this kid, a yoyo?

"Roxas, senior year! You're still not excited?"

"No, not really." His face deflated and he got off of my bed, heading toward the door.

"How lame."

"Excuse me? I'm lame? I'm not the one bouncing around in Buzz Lightyear boxers!" I yelled at him as he headed for his bedroom.

"Yeah well, you're just jealous that they glow in the dark!" he shouted back as he stood in his doorway.

"You're such a loser!"

"So're you!"

"Fine!" I slammed the door shut.

"Double-fine!" I heard him slam his door shut too.

"Boys, knock it off!" Aunt Seiya yelled from downstairs. Now really, I love my aunt, but sometimes, she's scary. It was then I figured I should stop yelling at Sora and start getting ready. School started in 45 minutes and I was still in my boxers and a gross tank top. I flung open my closet and started hunting for some decent shirt. Had to make a good first impression you know.

"Sora! Where the fuck is my girlfriend shirt?" I pushed myself away from the closet and ran across the hall, barging into Sora's room. I didn't care he was just standing there in his boxers.

"Your what?" he asked as he slipped his own shirt over his head.

"My girlfriend shirt!"

"Check the laundry," he suggested and grabbed a pair of jeans off of the floor and sniffing them. "Do these smell clean?" He thrust them under my nose.

"Gah, stop that!" I swatted the jeans away and walked out, heading downstairs to hunt for my shirt. I walked through the kitchen and spotted my aunt standing at the stove.

"Morning, Rox. Breakfast?" Aunt Seiya turned to me and nodded toward the plate of eggs she had waiting for Sora.

"Just some toast will be okay, thanks," I replied absently and headed into the laundry room, yanking open the dryer. "Yes!" I found my shirt and I didn't give a damn if it was wrinkled, I threw it on.

Define "Girlfriend". Oh I wish somebody would.

I ran back upstairs and threw on a pair of jeans, finishing up the morning routine. You know, brushing the teeth, brushing the hair, on and on. I barely had enough time to shove some toast in my mouth and grab my car keys before racing out the door. Sora had already left in his car and it still remains a mystery how he managed to beat me but that didn't matter. All that mattered was that I was running way late and I still had to pick up Kairi.

But of course, she never fails to surprise me because when I opened the front door I nearly ran over her.

"What are you doing here?!" I asked her in shock, blinking at the redhead standing in front of me.

"I figured you'd be running late so I thought I'd just come here," she said and started heading to the car. All right, I admit, I was checking her out but who wouldn't?

"Nice skirt."

"Oh screw you."

"I'd love to, darling, honestly," I replied with a smirk, unlocking my Honda and sliding into the driver's seat, waiting for Kairi to get in.

"No, you're rather screw Axel." She buckled up and I started up the car, peeling out of the driveway.

"Ugh, not this again," I groaned.

"Roxas, if you would just stop being stubborn and see what I see..." she trailed off.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Look, it's the whole love at first sight thing."

"No Kairi."

"No?" She looked confused as I pulled up in front of our high school, parking my car and turning off the engine.

"No," I repeated firmly.

"But-"

"Does anybody else know I'm bi?" I cut her off again, slamming my door shut and readjusting my tan shoulder bag.

"No but-"

"Then we're going to pretend that I'm not."

"Roxas!" she yelled after me as I continued making my way into the building.

"I'll see you after school, Kairi!" I waved and smiled to myself, convinced that I was home free.

"Roxas you idiot, we have the same first period!" she reminded me and followed me into the building, dragging me down the hall to our annual staff office.

Basically all I could say to that was damn it. Damn it all to hell.

* * *

By the time sixth period rolled around, I was just ready to go home. Kairi, who was in my first period annual staff class, my third period law class and my fifth period Pre-Calc class, kept bothering me about the Axel issue all day and I was quite ready to tell her to get her own ride home. But I knew that she was only doing it because she cared about me and stuff but gosh, there's only so much nagging a guy can take ya know?

Riku and I had the same fourth period art class and Sora was in my second period Chemistry class, along with Demyx. All three of them were in the same Law class and Riku had Pre-Calc with me and Kairi. But sixth period I was pretty much on my own with AP English. I had heard a few horror stories about Mr. Teitzel already, but to be facing everything by myself?

I knew I was pretty far in.

I walked into class and sat in a seat, waiting for everybody else to file in. I was pretty content minding my own business, you know, rockin' out with my iPod and playing my air guitar very discreetly, but no; somebody **had** to interrupt me.

"Mind if I sit here?"

Too bad it had to be **that** somebody.

"Uh, kinda?" I answered truthfully and looked up at Axel, giving him what I hoped was a skeptical look. The kid was in a few of my classes already like Law and art but I was at least able to avoid him for the entire day. But no, now I was stuck here by myself with Mr. Douchebag himself.

"Yeah well, I feel retarded standing and this desk is the only one left available," he replied and gestured around the room. I looked up and realized that yes, the desk right next to me was the only one left. Fantastic.

"Fine whatever, sit," I sighed and the final bell rang as Axel made himself comfortable, leaning back in his seat. Mr. Teitzel walked into the room just then and the class went silent. Now, you have to realize, Teitzel's an old guy and to top that off, he was always really strict on his classes. After the customary roll call, he stood up at his desk like he was so important and stared at the group of us.

"I expect that you all have completed your summer homework. I will be collecting that now," he drawled out and stood in front of the room as all 15 of us passed our packets forward. Yeah, the guy made us read a novel and answer a billion questions over the summer, can you believe that? I couldn't. Teitzel looked through the packets and raised his eyebrows, suddenly looking at us, or more specifically, Axel.

"Mr. Tamashi, your packet seems to be missing," he pointed out the obvious. Axel nodded and smirked slightly.

"Well you see, Mr. T, my dog's pregnant and she's been having all these crazy urges right? Well, she just loves Charles Dickens, so she ate my packet. You have to think about her unborn puppies sir, they need nourishment," he said calmly. I couldn't help but snort in laughter. What? It was so stupid it was funny!

"Do you think you're funny, Mr. Tamashi?" Teitzel asked, peering at Axel over the top of his glasses.

"No, I **know** I'm funny. There's a difference," Axel replied. This kid was seriously pushing his luck! And he was making me laugh. Damnit. Teitzel didn't seem to think Axel was amusing though.

"Detention after school, Tamashi," he said flatly, turning back around to set the papers on his desk. Axel sulked down in his seat and I snickered at his misfortune, glad that he got busted for being a smartass.

Bad move.

"Mr. Mihara, you'll be staying after school as well."

"What?! What did I do?" I cried out, sitting upright and staring at the old man.

"You're encouraging him, that's what."

"But-"

"No excuses, Mr. Mihara. You and Mr. Tamashi will be staying here after school, 30 minutes," Teitzel finalized before he turned around and began leading a discussion about the book Great Expectations. Kind of a lame book, by the way, not one I'd recommend. I slumped down in my seat and folded my arms over my chest, glaring at the desktop and praying that the day would just end already. Axel didn't seem as disturbed as I was. In fact, the moron turned to me and smiled slightly.

"So guess we'll be seeing each other again huh?"

"Oh fuck you."

"Mihara! Tamashi! Your 30 minutes have turned into one hour and will continue rising if you continue to be disruptive!" Teitzel warned us and turned around again, scrawling out notes on the blackboard. With a small groan I allowed my head to fall on my desk with an ungraceful thud, ignoring the fact that Axel was snickering at me under his breath.

So much for making a good impression.

* * *

The final bell rang and everybody left the classroom except for me, Axel, and Mr. Teitzel.

"Now boys, I have to run an errand for a bit. No talking, no moving, no leaving, am I clear?" Teitzel asked us, giving both of us a stern glare.

"Crystal," Axel answered for both of us and Teitzel nodded, shutting the door firmly behind him. I was perfectly content with the idea of no talking, no moving and no leaving; after all, I just wanted to get the hell out of there. After quickly texting Kairi and telling her to get a ride home with Sora, I put my earbuds back in and turned on my iPod, randomly doodling in my binder.

"Whacha listenin' to?" I heard Axel ask me.

"From First To Last," I answered shortly, hoping that he'd leave me alone.

No such luck.

"Awesome…what CD?" he continued with the questions, turning around in his seat to face me.

"Didn't Teitzel say that we weren't supposed to talk?" I reminded him, glaring at him again. Hey, it was the best I could do on such short notice. He snorted in disgust and rolled his eyes.

"Rox, look around. Do you see Teitzel in here?" he asked, gesturing to the empty classroom. "I think not." I huffed a bit and turned in my own seat to face him.

"First of all, it's Roxas. Rox**as**."

"Rox-ass huh?" He smiled smugly.

"No! Roxas! Just…never mind," I sighed in defeat and looked at my beat-up Converse. He shrugged in return and drew his knee to his chest, resting his chin on it and watching me silently. It was kind of creepy really, having a new kid staring at you I mean, but I managed to ignore him for the most part. What surprised me though was the fact that he didn't continue talking. He didn't seem like the type to shut up so easily.

Maybe that's what my problem was. Maybe I was spending too much time focusing on stereotyping him instead of getting to know him. Maybe I should give him a chance.

…or not. That would just be like, inviting him to converse with me and I really didn't think I wanted that. I mean, the kid was weird, what could I say?

"Dear Diary, My Teen Angst Has A Bodycount." There, that's what I could say. Axel blinked and looked up at me through his bangs.

"What?"

"That's…that's the CD I'm listening to," I said, unsure of why I was even offering him that information. As soon as his face lit up and his mouth started moving, I knew that I had just opened Pandora's Box.

Pandora…seriously, who the hell names their kid Pandora?

"Yeah, that CD's pretty cool I guess, not my favorite, but it's decent. What other kind of music are you into?" he asked, sitting up further to give me his undivided attention.

Let me just say this right now; when somebody gets me talking about music, I find it hard to stop talking. I'm very opinionated about what sounds good, who sucks, who shouldn't have died from drug overdose, what types of genres are overrated, all that jazz. Axel had figured out my weakness and he was using it against me!

That whore.

"Well…I like a lot of rock…metal…alternative…punk, you know, all that good stuff. I can't stand rap though; I mean, how hard is it to come up with rhymes?" I sneered and pulled out one of my earbuds. "Yo, yo, yo, check it out. My name is Ax, I like to relax, but my brain's overrun by my sick earwax, I can't even make a fax because I can't add tax and I'm just plain annoying to the max. Uh, uh, uh, yeah." I rolled my eyes and Axel stared at me blankly before bursting into laughter.

"Okay, what the fuck was that?" he questioned between laughs.

"That, is what rap sounds like and that's why I hate it." I shrugged in return and spun my headphone around finger. Axel just shook his head and snickered.

"Man, I didn't think you were such a dork."

"Excuse me! Dork? I don't think so!" I shouted in protest, slamming my hand down on the desk which sent him into another laughing fit.

"Okay, calm down, Shorty. You're not a dork, better?"

"No," I mumbled and looked at my shoe again, admiring the graffiti my friends had put on them last year. Axel hummed quietly and changed the subject then.

"So, Demyx told me that you're in a band," he said casually.

"Yep."

"…how long?"

"About the past three years. Me, Demyx, and my cousin Sora. You know, the hyper brunet."

"That's your cousin?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Yep. Kinda weird huh?"

"Yeah…you guys are like polar opposites."

"Psh, tell me something I don't know," I replied.

"I think you're more interesting?" he offered and I looked up from my shoes.

"What?"

"You seem more fascinating. Blonds usually have more of a story to tell anyway." He grinned at me again. I felt an eyebrow raise involuntarily and tilted my head slightly.

"How do you figure?"

"Just do."

"Well what's your story?" I challenged him, waiting for him to come back with another cocky comment.

"Don't feel like sharing."

"Yeah well neither do I," I concurred and shuffled through the playlist on my iPod. Axel stayed quiet for another moment, obviously trying to wrap his teeny-tiny brain around some intelligent conversation.

"So…what do you think about Good Charlotte?" he asked.

I think that was around the time I choked on my own spit.

"God, I hate those guys! The singer, he **whines!**" I exclaimed, shuddering at the memory of listening to them for the first time.

"I know, tell me about it. One of my friends from back home loves them though. It disgusts me." Axel shuddered as well.

"I don't really blame you."

"Okay, what about Simple Plan?"

"They're okay, but overrated ya know?"

And that's how it started. Axel and I talked about music for the rest of our hour, debating about who sucked, who was better, and who just needed to be pushed off the planet, like Avril Lavigne. Actually, I was surprised when Axel looked up at the clock and announced that it was time for us to go.

"So, did you notice that Teitzel never came back?" he commented on the way out the door, heading toward the parking lot.

"Yeah, wonder where he went," I mumbled as I fished around in my pocket for my keys.

"Probably to the teacher's lounge to whack off," he retorted. I stopped dead in my tracks and stared at him.

"Um, ew?" He threw a wink over his shoulder as he kept on walking.

"Just kidding."

"Sicko."

"Yeah, you'll get used to it," he assured me as he walked up to a red 1969 Mustang Convertible. Uh, can we say drool? Cause let me tell you, that's what I was doing. Er, not at him, at the car, yeah!

"Well, maybe I don't want to get used to it," I replied, standing away from the car as he hopped in and fished for his own keys.

"That's fine. You can't avoid destiny, Roxas." He started the car but he didn't move, keeping his gaze fixated on me.

"Destiny?" I repeated dumbly, blinking unsurely.

"Yeah, you know, destiny."

"…you really think our being locked in a room for an hour was destiny?"

"Could be. And even if it wasn't, I can't complain about it." He shot me another grin before putting the car in reverse, slowly backing away from me. "I'll see you tomorrow, Shortstuff." And with that, he drove off, leaving me standing in the parking lot alone. I headed back to my own car, thinking about what Axel had just said. I slid into the driver's seat and started the engine, rolling down the window a bit and turning up the music.

"Destiny," I mumbled to myself, staring out the windshield and at the sunset ahead of me. I glanced up in the rearview mirror and gave myself a bitter smile, shaking my head at the idea.

"Destiny or not, he's still a douchebag," I assured myself as I pulled out of the parking lot, trying to ignore the genuine smile that was worming its way onto my face as I headed for home.

* * *

..again, whatever I had written here has been lost, sorry. Editing process is a-go.


	3. What You Get When You're Talking Back

**Chapter Three**

_This Is What You Get When You're Talking Back, Baby_

* * *

Okay so I admit it, Axel was starting to grow on me. Barely! But still, I couldn't help but notice that he wasn't half-bad…when he wasn't being a douche bag. Then again, when wasn't he being a douche bag? Not very often. Still, he intrigued me for some reason or other, most likely because I knew he had a story to tell and he wasn't sharing anytime soon.

Kairi and Sora are always saying that my curiosity will be the end of me. I guess that's true though, in some cases I mean. Either way, I was determined to find out about him even if it were the end of me. And thus began my investigation.

* * *

"Kairi, I need your help," I said as I seated myself on her overly-girly bed. I mean really, was it necessary to have **silk** lavender sheets? It was just downright sad.

"With what?" Kairi didn't bother looking up from her vanity while she applied her makeup. Getting up, I moved in behind her and glanced at her reflection in the mirror.

"Your eyeliner's smudged," I ended up changing the subject. Kairi blinked and squinted at herself.

"Dang." She went to work on repairing her mess-up. "Anyway, what did you need my help for?"

"Well, you're sneaky, cunning, tactful, and know exactly how to get people to talk," I started out.

"Hey!"

"No trust me, it's a good thing this time. Anyway, I need you to teach me how to do that and shit, your eyeliner's not working out!" I cut myself off and snatched the liner pencil from her hand, using my thumb to rub off her previous attempts and putting it on her myself. After I let go of her face, she kind of glared at me and shook her head.

"Thanks," she said flatly and pulled out a tube of mascara. "Do you trust me to put this on by myself? …Roxas?"

"Hmm?" I looked up from the eyeliner in my hand. "Sorry, I was just thinking."

"About?"

"If this color would work for me. Y'know, for our next gig," I quickly added. Hell, there was no way I was gonna turn into like, a transvestite. Kairi tilted her head thoughtfully and examined my face for a second, grabbing the pencil back.

"Close your eyes," she instructed me and started putting it on my eyelids. "Anyway, why do you need my help to be cunning and sneaky and all that other stuff you dubbed me as?"

"Because I want to find out more about Axel," I replied and shifted a bit.

"Stop squirming or I'm going to end up stabbing you. And you want to find out about **whom?**" Even though I had my eyes closed, I could imagine the surprised look on her face. Hell, I was kind of surprised myself.

"You heard me."

"I know, that's why I'm a little afraid. And you can open your eyes now." I opened my eyes and glanced in the mirror. "You know, you don't look half-bad with makeup, Rox. I'd offer to do your mascara for you, but your lashes are so long anyway," Kairi commented as I continued staring at my eyes.

"Hmm. Whatever. Anyway, yeah, I need your help with Axel because he won't tell me anything and I-"

"Need to stop being suspicious and not pry into his life?"

"Yeah, exactly. Wait, no!" I shouted as Kairi started giggling at me. She does that a lot. "Kairi, I just want to know his story!"

"Did you ask him about it?" She reached into a drawer of her vanity and came up with a tube of lip gloss, strawberry I think. Hell I don't know, it was pink, so I was guessing.

…don't look at me like that.

"Of course I asked him. He told me no."

"Well then obviously he doesn't want to share," Kairi pointed out, turning around and grabbing my face, dabbing some lip gloss on my own lips.

"Hey! No more makeup!" I squawked and rubbed it off with the back of my hand.

"Just testing." She smiled innocently and tossed the lip gloss back into the drawer. I shook my head and headed back to her bed, sprawling myself on top of it as she headed into her walk-in closet, work uniform in hand. It was Saturday; whose brilliant idea was it to have us start school on a Friday anyway? What a bunch of dumbasses.

"Well test on somebody else, like Sora. He's practically a girl anyway."

"But you're closer," she pointed out from inside the closet.

"Whatever. Anyway, yeah obviously Axel doesn't want to share, that's why I'm enlisting you to help me make him crack."

"Roxas, I'm not going to help you. First of all, it's none of our business, and second of all, he must have a good reason for not wanting to tell us and third, I don't feel like it." She finally came back dressed in her work uniform and gave me a skeptical look. "Face it, you're on your own."

"Damn you." I rolled over onto my stomach and looked at her. "No help at all?"

"Nope. I'm hoping it will discourage you for the time being."

"…and you're my best friend…why?"

"Because I'm cool," she replied and strapped on her black heeled sandals. "Anyway, what are you gonna do while I'm at work?"

"Please. It's not like I don't have a life that doesn't involve you," I couldn't help but snort. She gave me another skeptical look that clearly said she didn't believe me. "…okay so I was gonna call Demyx and ask if he wanted to come over for practice. Besides, I wrote a new song that I want them to hear."

"For your bet you mean?" she asked as she hunted for something else through her dresser drawers. She already knew about the bet Sora, Demyx, and I made against each other; I mean, I told her like the day after it was made.

Basically, practically nothing remains sacred in our friendship, it's just the way things have always been. She knows all of my secrets, I know all of hers. Although sometimes it sucks.

"Yep, for the bet. Well, I mean I hope so, it's the best I could come up with so far," I explained to her, sitting upright and watching her as she continued rifling through her things.

"So do I get to hear this song?" She finally came up with a white tie and started trying to put it on.

"Do you really wanna hear it?"

"Of course I do."

"But…I don't have any music or my guitar or-" She sent me another flat look and tapped her foot against the ground.

"Roxas, stop stalling. I know you can sing acapella, you've done it plenty of times."

"But-"

"Roxas…" she drawled out. "Please?" I sighed and rolled my eyes, knowing I wasn't going to get out of this one this time.

"Ugh fine, just stop looking at me like that," I muttered and racked my brain for the right pitch. I opened my mouth but closed it upon having a different thought. "Promise you won't laugh?"

"Now why would I do that? You know that if I wanted to laugh I'd wait until you were gone," she teased me and finally managed to get her tie on straight. "Anyway hurry up, I gotta leave really soon and you're driving me there."

"Fine fine fine," I mumbled and refocused myself, actually singing this time. "I don't want another pretty face, I don't want just anyone to hold, I don't want my love to go to waste, I want you and your beautiful soul, you're the one I wanna chase, you're the one I wanna hold, I won't let another minute go to waste, I want you and your beautiful soul…" I stopped singing and looked at Kairi, only to find her with a look of approval on her face.

"Aww, Roxas that's cute! You could totally be like, the next Jesse Mccartney!"

"…who?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Never mind, he's not important. The point is, I like it and we need to get going or I'm going to be late for work." She headed for the doorway and glanced back at me. "Well, are you driving me there or not?"

"Yeah, sure." I pushed myself off of Kairi's bed and the two of us heading downstairs and out of her house, climbing into my car and pulling away from her house, heading back downtown to the Noon Moon.

"Kai, can you call Demyx and tell him to head over to my house?" I asked as I tossed her my phone, making a left-hand turn. She complied and hunted through my list of numbers until she found Demyx's, dialing and waiting.

"Myx, Rox said that he wants you to go to his place for practice. Uh-huh, okay. Bye!" She hung up and dropped my phone in the cup holder between us. "He'll be there when you get there."

"Great," I replied and pulled up in front of the coffee house. "So do you need me to pick you up or what?"

"Nah, I can get Selphie to take me home. She's working today," she informed me and hopped out of the car.

"And you don't have your own car because?"

"My mother took it away since she decided to go back to work. But we'll talk about that later. I'll see you later Roxas!" She waved and slammed the door shut, walking away from me and heading into the building as I put myself in reverse, backed out, and re-merged into traffic, heading back to my house.

By the time I got back I came to two realizations. One, Demyx was already at my house and two, he was parked in **my** driveway. Mine! I've told him countless times to park on the curb so that I could park in the driveway, but no, he doesn't appear to like listening to me. I ended up parking my car on the curb instead and ran into my house, fully prepared to lay the smack-down on the mohawked freak. I raced up to my room and kicked the door open, glaring at Demyx.

"How many times have I told you to **not** park in my driveway?" I shouted. Demyx merely blinked at me and shifted the guitar in his hands.

"Lots?" he guessed. "Look sorry, but you know that that's easier than curb-parking," he added. I couldn't help but sigh and glance around the room, curious to why Sora wasn't busy defending Demyx.

Oh. He wasn't even in the room. That's a good excuse.

"Where's Sora?" I changed the subject as I picked up my bass from the corner of the room by Sora's drum set.

"Downstairs grabbing sodas and stuff."

"Actually, I'm right here," Sora announced from the doorway, carrying an armload of chips and cookies.

"I thought you were grabbing sodas?" I questioned him as he dropped all of the junk food on my bed.

"Oh I was, but Axel decided to grab them since I didn't have enough hands," my cousin retorted casually, sneaking a peak at me. Wait…Axel?!

"What!" I exclaimed, whipping around and looking at the door just as the redhead came in carrying four sodas. He sent me a cheeky grin and set the sodas down on my desk.

"Hey Shorty, what's up?" he greeted me, making himself comfortable on my bed.

"I, er, you…what are you doing here?" I finally managed to spit out, staring at him with wide eyes.

"Demyx brought me along." He shrugged and popped the top of his soda open, taking a small drink.

"Yeah, I didn't think you'd mind, Rox," Demyx jumped in, looking up from his guitar.

'_Then again, Myx, you don't usually think at all.'_ My mind grudgingly added. Immediately I forced my expression back into its usual cool façade and shrugged my shoulders.

"Eh, whatever," I mumbled, trying not to let on the fact that I was irritated. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Sora giving me a suspicious glance but I ignored him in favor of my bass. "Anyway, let's get started. Dem, do we have any new gigs in the nearby future?"

"Nope, but I wanted to talk to you about that. I think we should just focus on Battle of the Bands and forget about all gigs until next summer. That way, we'll have somewhat of an advantage to the other bands," Demyx explained, sitting on the bed next to Axel.

"I agree with Dem, Rox. I mean, sure, gigs are nice and all but think about winning first place in the battle. Which pays more?" Sora pointed out, plopping himself down in the chair behind his drum set, munching on a chocolate chip cookie. He had a point, I'll admit that.

See, gigs usually pay only $50 or $100 dollars a show, if we're being paid at all. However, the battle pays out $500 and some other stuff. The additional prizes change every year.

"You guys have your own battle?" Axel piped up, attempting to open a bag of chips.

"Yeah, every year! We've been trying to enter for the past two years but we always end up either not making the cut or just not being able to enter. Point being, we're gonna get in this year **and** we're gonna win something!" Demyx added excitedly, pumping his fist into the air.

"We're not going to win **anything** if we don't start getting our act together. C'mon guys, look at us! We're sitting on our asses talking about how we'll wipe the floor with everybody and yet, we're not making an effort to do anything about it." I couldn't help that I was ranting. I'm used to ranting.

…okay, I lied. I never rant. In fact, I couldn't care less if we didn't get any work done until like, the week before the battle because I knew that we'd be able to pull it together. However, I was ranting to make myself sound more important; unfortunately, I had a feeling that I was doing just the opposite. It was all Axel's fault, seriously! He kept distracting me, what with him sitting on my bed all comfortably and watching the three of us curiously. It was unnerving to say the least.

"Okay Roxas, lay off the coffee for a while kay?" Sora grinned and grabbed his drum sticks, tapping one of the drums lightly. "Anyway, you told me this morning that you had a new song to show us," he reminded me. My eyes darted around the room briefly, landing on Axel for a moment, who was no longer looking at Demyx or Sora; nope, just me.

There was no way I was going to sing my attempt at a love song in front of him! I just couldn't! So, because I'm so witty and smart, I came up with plan B.

"Oh, yeah I did. Hold on super-quick," I said as I walked over to my desk, picking up my music folder and flipping through until I found three sheets of paper, the music for another new song I wrote about the same time I wrote Beautiful Soul. Sora and Demyx wouldn't know the wiser. I handed them their sheets and set mine on the floor, waiting for a few moments for them to read over the music and learn it a bit. In the end, Demyx grabbed a music stand from the corner of my room and set it in front of him with the paper on it. As for Sora?

"Sor…are you sure you can even read that?" I asked him uncertainly, raising my eyebrow at the sight of my cousin with a piece of paper taped to his forehead.

"Yep, no problem!" he agreed. Axel hadn't said a single word during the entire exchange, but he was giving off an amused smile.

"Uh, okay, um, let's get started then!" I said hurriedly, glancing at Demyx. Demyx raised an eyebrow and gave me an odd look in return.

"What are you looking at me for? It's your start," he informed me, pointing down at my paper on the floor.

So it was.

"Oh um…right," I mumbled, shifting my bass that suddenly felt too big for me to be holding. Looking back at my bed, I caught Axel's eyes again. His bright green eyes were virtually unblinking and he seemed pretty much focused on me.

Creeeepy. Flattering, I suppose, but creepy just the same. It didn't matter though, he wasn't even supposed to be there!

'_That's right, Rox. Just pretend like he's not there and you'll be fine.'_ I told myself and focused at a spot to the right of Axel's head, a singular little black dot that was caused by a sharpie marker. I'd been meaning to paint over it, but for the time being, I was glad that I was a procrastinator. Swallowing briefly and casting my eyes downward at my fingers, I waited until Demyx started playing his little tiny rift before I launched into my own opening, opening my mouth and beginning to form my words.

"You couldn't break me in the end, oh no, and such a freedom I enjoy, when you're deaf to the sounds you trust. If that was all you're got, my friend, oh no, then set yourself to disappoint, yeah." I could hear Sora starting up his drumming from somewhere behind me and Demyx keeping his steady quiet guitar rhythm, all the while, Axel kept his gaze on us, occasionally shifting to Sora or Demyx and then finally settling on me again. I mean, that was expected because I was the one singing but still, it didn't make it any less weird.

"Feels like I'm strapped down on this table, so tight, you've got me stuck to a razor's edge and I'm trapped in a deadbolt glove. You stand to cut me or enable, oh no, and such a streak starts steading heads, and I live for the things I love. Sad, but maybe it's true, push you back's what I'll do, and it's just enough to keep you back one second longer." By that point, Demyx had joined me in the harmony and Sora's drumming was louder. The only thing that didn't change was Axel's expression. I didn't know if that was a good thing or a bad thing though.

"Take a little more than what I've got, it's all I have to please you. Break a little piece of what you want, bite back the hand that feeds you." Ah, the beloved chorus. About at the start of it, I started to loosen up and ignore the awkward feeling of being watched so intently.

"Remember when things seem so stable…you know that I compromise just to appease yeah you take but you take too much. If what you need's not seeming able, yeah right, then maybe it works when I leave yeah, you fake what you say you love. Sad, but maybe it's true, push you back's what I'll do, and it's just enough to keep you back on second longer. Take a little more than what I've got, it's all I have to please you, break a little piece of what you want, bite back the hand that feeds you. Take a little more than what I've got, it's all I have to please you, break a little piece of what you want, bite back the hand that feeds you. Move faster I can't move enough. How much longer? Is this long enough? We can't be and it won't even catch your attention, and it pains me so to mention!"

I was finally able to stop and catch my breath for a little bit while Demyx launched into his guitar solo, me leaning back to watching him and Sora poised and ready to start playing again. Now, the thing about Demyx, even though he wasn't able to make it as a solo artist, he really is a good guitarist. He's always up for trying a new style and sound, which is nice because I like experimenting anyway.

…that came out wrong, didn't it?

Thought so.

While Demyx was playing his solo (all 15 seconds of it), I dared myself to look at Axel, just to see where his gaze was now. To my surprise, it was actually on Demyx. He actually seemed captivated by the music with a thoughtful expression on his face. It was like a whole other side of him, something that was a change from the cocky prick I met days ago. I almost missed my cue because of it though and didn't even realize that I was staring at Axel until Demyx nearly whacked me in the side with his guitar. You can bet that I hurried to get back to my spot.

"Sad, but maybe it's true, push you back's what I'll do, and it's just enough to keep you back on second longer. Take a little more than what I've got, it's all I have to please you, break a little piece of what you want, bite back the hand that feeds you. Take a little more than what I've got, it's all I have to please you, break a little piece of what you want, bite back the hand that feeds you. Take what I've got, it's all I have to please you, break what you want, bite back the hand that feeds you. Take what I've got, it's all I have to please you, break what you want, bite back the hand that feeds you." The song came to an end with a few closing notes and all sound stopped.

"So yeah, that's my latest," I said breathlessly, shifting my bass again. Sora tilted his head to the side, glancing at me curiously.

"I dunno, Rox, that doesn't sound like a love song to me," he pointed out.

"It's not."

"I thought you said that it was?"

"Nope."

"Well whatever it is, it's good," Axel finally spoke up, stopping Sora and I from arguing any further and causing both of us to look at him.

"…really?" I said first, blinking at him unsurely.

"Really," Demyx took over. "I agree with Ax, it's a cool song. But I also agree with Sora in the fact that it's not a love song. It's like, a hate song or something."

"Yeah well, it was something I came up with a few weeks ago," I said in my own defense, setting my bass on the floor.

"We're just saying that maybe you should focus more on writing that love song instead of well, your usual stuff," Sora replied, hopping out of his chair and heading to the door of my room. "I want ice cream. Dem?"

"Ditto." Demyx set his guitar down next to mine and followed my cousin out of the room, closing the door behind him and leaving just me and Axel. Without even looking up I could tell that he was watching me again as I crossed the room slowly, replacing the music sheets into my folder. It was silent as I stood at my desk that was only feet in front of the foot of my bed, shuffling through my folder with my back to him. I heard him shift to turn and look at me but didn't say anything as I continued, starting to organize my music by date of creation.

Yep, keeping myself busy so I didn't have to talk to him. Too bad it didn't work for too long.

"I didn't peg you to be one with a good voice," he started out, shifting again to get more comfortable.

"Well, surprise?" I shrugged and kept my back to him.

"You guys are actually pretty good."

"Well like I've said before, we've been together for like, three years. It just comes from practice I guess."

"Can you just take a compliment from me without countering it?" That's what finally made me turn around, giving him a skeptical look.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It **means**, you're being picky with what I can and can't say to you," he explained, sitting up straight at the end of my bed.

"…why're you even here?" I ended up changing the subject, placing my hands on the top of the chair behind me and leaning against it, watching Axel closely to see if I could spot his motives.

Yes, I'm now aware that it was a dumb idea, but you can't kill me for trying.

"I tried telling you that you couldn't avoid destiny, Roxas, but did you listen to me? No." He smirked slightly and tucked a piece of loose hair behind his ear.

"Uh, I didn't listen to you because you sound kinda crazy," I snorted, switching positions and folding my arms over my chest. "So really, why are you here?"

"I told you," he started to say.

"No more of that destiny crap!" I cut him off. He gave me a flat stare.

"Actually, I was going to say because Demyx brought me with him."

Oh yeah. Oops.

"…any reason why?" I asked in a futile effort to make myself stop looking like an ass.

"He needs a reason to bring me with him?"

Well that didn't work.

"Er, no, that's not what I meant," I replied, still trying to get my foot out of my mouth.

"So what exactly did you mean?" His glare was starting to intensify as I continued trying to shrink back.

"I-I just meant that…I mean…w-why would you wanna sit through our band practice?" I managed to stutter. He suddenly rose up to his full height, standing in front of me stiffly.

It was then I realized that I was pretty much a midget compared to this guy.

"You wanna know why I'd sit through your practice?" he said lowly, stalking toward me slowly. There wasn't that much of a space between us to begin with though.

"Uh…"

"It's because," he stopped talking and stood right in front of me so that my nose practically bumped into his chest.

"B-because?" I looked up at him, praying that he wasn't going to lift up a giant foot and squish me.

I could see it now. 'Boy Musician squashed by Godzilla Offspring.'

"Because, I was curious to see how you guys sounded. Plus, it's always fun to psyche you out." He grinned and stepped away, dropping the psycho axe-murderer act while I stood there with a slightly dropped jaw and a dumbfounded look on my face.

I couldn't believe that I fell for that. I just couldn't believe it. So of course, I did what came natural.

"You didn't psyche me out," I immediately denied, inwardly cringing when I saw the all-knowing grin on his face.

"Uh-huh, okay. You keep telling yourself that," he snickered anyway, pretty much sealing the fact that I failed at life for the day.

"Axel, let's go! I gotta get to work **and** take you home now!" Demyx shouted from downstairs. Axel moved away from me and grabbed Demyx's guitar from off of the floor, giving me one last look.

"Hey Roxas?"

"Yeah?"

"Nice eyeliner, black's definitely your color." He winked, making a show of opening my bedroom door. I gave him a blank stare for a few moments, trying to figure out what the hell he was talking about when I reached up and wiped at my eyelid, looking down at the small smear of black on my fingers.

Kairi. Damnit! Damn her and her makeup! I guess Axel noticed my sudden embarrassment and shock because he started to laugh again as he turned around.

"Until destiny makes us meet again," he said with a cheerful wave, walking out of my room while still snickering. I didn't move for a while after that, listening to the commotion downstairs as the front door opened and closed. Looking out the window that was above my bed, I watched as Demyx's car drove out of our driveway, heading down the street toward his house. Even after they were both long gone, I continued to stare out the window in the direction they went, puzzled by what had just happened and mildly embarrassed that I **let** it happen.

"See anything interesting?" I wretched my gaze away from the window and back onto the door where Sora stood leaning against the doorframe, a bowl of ice cream in his hand.

"No…not really." I shrugged, unsure of how else to answer as I dropped myself on my bed. Sora took a few bites of his ice cream slowly, seemingly pondering his next words. I wasn't in any real hurry to hear them though; after all, it wasn't like I was going to leave anytime soon.

"That song…Bite Back…you wrote that about Uncle Mike, didn't you?" he asked me cautiously, like he was afraid I would spontaneously combust. But I was actually too surprised to explode.

"Was it really that obvious?" I blinked at him, trying to figure out how he guessed that I wrote that about my dad. It was his turn to simply shrug.

"Well, Dem didn't pick up on it if that's what you mean."

"So how did you?" I questioned again. He looked at me quietly with blue eyes that reflected my own and gave me an easy-going grin.

"Because I know you? You're my cousin and I mean, you might as well be my brother for crying out loud. I just know how to read you," he retorted, slurping up some of his melted ice cream.

"Is that a bad thing?"

"It might be bad for you," he answered truthfully, shifting his weight to the other foot. "But then again, it might not. Depends on the situation."

"I guess so." I stretched out on my bed and grabbed the remote for the TV that was on the top of the desk, right above my computer. Sora went quiet again, obviously thinking about something else. I was actually starting to get a little worried because I mean, Sora never shuts up. He just doesn't.

"So," he started off.

"…so?"

"Axel seemed pretty interested in you today," he said casually.

"Yeah well he's a weird kid with a staring problem. What do you want me to do about it?" I asked, flipping through the channels on the TV.

"It was just a comment."

"Yeah, but you're trying to imply something aren't you?"

He sighed loudly and shook his head. "Okay look, if you're going to be all offended by something stupid like that, I'm gonna go downstairs, put this bowl in the sink, and go to Riku's. Have fun sulking," he said and left my room, closing the door behind him.

"I'm not sulking," I muttered to myself and returned my attention to the TV. Then again, I guess my attention span decided not to cooperate because I found myself letting my mind wander instead of watching The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy. Staring up at the ceiling, I sucked on part of my bottom lip in thought.

I wasn't sure why, but Axel kept worming his way into my thoughts once every thirty seconds or so. Okay just kidding, I don't know how often it was, but it felt like it was that often. I kept wondering why he was looking at me like that and if that red really was his natural hair color. I also kept finding myself asking why he's convinced that our meeting everywhere was destiny.

Who knew. Maybe it really **was **destiny trying to push us together. Maybe we really were supposed to meet and become…friends. Maybe we were just bound to find each other.

Oh yeah, and maybe there really was a chance that I'd grow a vagina by the end of the day. See, I don't tend to believe in all of this supernatural shit like fate and destiny. If it happens, it happens just because. There is no higher power controlling every move that I make. Actually, that sounds kind of scary, like being a pawn in somebody else's game of chess. But who's pawn?

…eh, I've never been really good at this philosophical stuff, that's more Kairi's department. Hell, that's even more **Axel's** department than mine. But what can you expect? Not much, I can tell you that. But maybe if I was a bit more philosophically inclined, I'd have an answer to what to do about Axel and how to get my brain to stop thinking about him.

Maybe I should have just shot for stopping my thought process all together. That would have saved all of us a bunch of trouble.

* * *

Lucky for me, the rest of the weekend went by without any more incidents like Saturday's. Monday rolled around and everything seemed to be normal; well, about as normal as normal could get. The only difference was that Axel suddenly decided that it would be okay for him to join us on our side of the room during Law, lunch, and art, acting like he was our friend.

Then again, everybody else was acting like he was our friend too.

I think that was about the time I clued in and realized that maybe I was being a bit unfair about the whole Axel thing. After all, he didn't really do anything to me in the first place.

"Hey Shorty."

…other than make fun of me every chance he could. I guess what I should be saying is that he didn't really do anything to me; when everybody else was around. But when we were by ourselves, it was a whole other story.

Sixth period was slowly becoming my least favorite class, especially when you added Teitzel to the mix. I mean fuck, the guy should have retired years ago!

"Um…hi," I replied, barely looking up at him. He smiled and sat at his own desk, leaning back in his chair and looking over at me.

"No makeup today?" he asked innocently.

"Fuck you."

"Can I?"

Well, **that** certainly threw me off. I couldn't help it when my head snapped up and I looked over at him, certain that I had the weirdest look on my face by that point.

"**What?**"

And there came that same cocky smile. "Heh, just kidding. I'd probably like, break you or something," he added.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me."

Well duh I heard him. I was just about ready to ask him about it again when Teitzel walked into the room, beginning to already lecture us about…something to do with Pip's characterization in the novel we were reading. Truthfully, I couldn't care less even though I should have been paying attention. Instead, my eyes kept drifting over to Axel, almost like they had a mind of their own. Despite the fact that Teitzel was pacing the room and lecturing us, all I heard was Axel's voice, his stupid sexual innuendo echoing in my brain.

Innuendo…who the hell came up with that word anyway?

"Roxas, do you think you could help us out here?" Teitzel was suddenly in front of my desk, looking down at me.

Talk about cliché timing. I looked up from my desk and stared at Teitzel, unsure of what to say. First of all, I went completely blank because he put me on the spot like that and secondly, I didn't even know what we were talking about in the first place. I knew I had to answer though, if Teitzel's deathglare was any indication. My best bet was to say the first thing I thought of.

"Green!" I blurted out. Teitzel raised an eyebrow as a few giggles arose.

"Pip was fascinated with Miss Havisham and Estella because they were green?" he repeated, raising the other eyebrow.

Okay…so maybe saying the first thing I thought of **wasn't** such a smart idea. I mean, green? Where the hell did that even come from?

"I think what he meant, Mr. T, was that Miss Havisham and Estella were rich, i.e. green," Axel quickly covered for me, looking over out of the corner of his green eyes.

Oh. That's where. Teitzel seemed to accept this answer and moved on, leaving me alone and continuing his lecture. I could tell that Axel himself was trying not to laugh.

"You could say you're welcome," he muttered out of the corner of his mouth.

"How about we settle for I hate you less?" I muttered back, refocusing on the class instead of the boy next to me.

"That works." He shrugged and that was that. I was determined to ask him a few questions after class, but as soon as the bell rang, Axel shot out of the classroom before I could even close my binder.

You can bet that that added to my suspicions about him. What was he trying to hide? Did he have like, some sort of split personality? And damn, why did he have to look so good in those jeans?!

…okay **that** was not originally one of my questions. But I was determined for answers no matter how hard I had to try and how much of an ass I had to make of myself.

I'll tell you this right now; it wasn't an easy task.

* * *

About an hour after school, Kairi called me out of sheer boredom, or so she says. It didn't surprise me though, it's just what we do.

"So what's new, Kai?" I was currently sitting at my computer, browsing through my email and only half-listening to what she was even saying.

"Nothing really, working on homework. Although I think when I hang up with you, I'm gonna call Selphie and see if she wants to go do something. Oh by the way, I gave Axel your phone number and oh my gosh, my mom bought more strawberry ice cream!" she all but squealed. **That** I caught though, despite how much I was tuning her out.

"**What?!**"

"I know, that's what I said! She told me that she wasn't buying me any more ice cream!" Kairi exclaimed and I heard her opening and closing the freezer.

"No not that! You gave Axel my phone number?" I exploded, gapping at the phone in disbelief.

"Oh, yeah that. Sure did."

"Why!"

"Because he asked me for it," she said around her mouthful of ice cream.

"Well you could have lied and said you didn't have it!" I knew I was being irrational but I was in a panic now. I could visualize Kairi rolling her eyes and shrugging her shoulders.

"Yeah, because **that** would be believable."

"I can't believe you gave it to him though! You could have at least asked me about it first before you did it! Hell, I don't give **your** number out to random cute guys!"

"Not yet you do-…did you just call Axel cute?" she stopped in her path, changing her angle suddenly.

"Uh, no…" I should have realized that denial was not my best friend.

Unfortunately, Kairi was my best friend and she was determined to not only humiliate me but also prove that she was right.

"I think you did," she drawled out, on the verge of giggling.

"No I didn't and you can't pro-, okay fine so yeah I said he was cute! So sue me!" I huffed, leaning back against my chair and pouting slightly.

"I knew it! Roxas, when did you decide to admit it?"

"Just now apparently."

"So…what does this mean?" she asked me and I could almost hear the gears turning in her head.

"Um, it means I think he's cute? Look Kairi, I don't know if I want to be dis-" I was cut off suddenly by a beep on the line. "Hey Kai, somebody else is calling, I'll talk to you later." I hung up before she could object and looked at my cell phone, not recognizing the incoming number.

"Hello?" I answered, leaning back further in my chair.

"Roxas? It's Axel."

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is about the time I lost my balance and fell out of my chair, sprawling out on the floor.

"Ow!" I yelped, sitting up immediately to untangle myself from the chair.

"You okay there?" Oh great, he was ready to laugh at me too.

"Um, yeah, I'm fine. Hi," I said, finally just giving up on the chair and migrating over to my bed, scooting closer to the window.

"Hi. What's up?"

"Nothing…just kind of chillin' out…was talkin' to Kairi a little bit ago." I shifted uncomfortably, trying to get in the sunlight.

"Oh. That's cool I guess. …sorry for just randomly calling; Kairi gave me your number after school," he explained.

So **that's** where he rushed off to…not to mention that explains why Kairi was late after school. I didn't quite understand why though; I mean, why would some guy I have no interest in suddenly approach my best friend for my phone number? Of course, it's not like they didn't know each other already; they worked together, they had class together, and God only knew what they talked about when they were together.

"Yeah, she told me," I said shortly.

"Oh. Um…hope that's okay?"

"Yeah, it's fine," I assured him, even though I personally felt like it wasn't fine.

"Okay."

"Yeah…"

…and insert awkward silence. We sat there on the line for a few moments, both of us unsure of what to even say. Axel broke the silence though.

"Anyway, I just called to say hey."

"That's all?"

"That's all."

"…really?"

"Now really, Roxas, would I lie?"

I wasn't so sure, actually. I barely knew the guy and he was expecting me to trust him? Who said I could do that so easily? I was just about to point that out to him when I heard a door close on his end of the line, followed by another voice.

"Axel?"

Demyx?

"Hey, Roxas," Axel suddenly said. "I gotta run. Guess I'll talk to you later?"

"Um, right…later," I echoed and soon heard the dial tone ringing in my ear. Pulling the phone away from me, I dropped it next to me on the bed and frowned slightly, trying to figure out what the fuck just happened.

Were all phone calls supposed to be that awkward?

Not to my knowledge, anyway. After all, I'd spent years listening to Sora talk on the phone with Riku to know that conversations shouldn't be that stiff. Hell, I've talked to Kairi for enough years to know that. Why was Axel so different? I couldn't wrap my brain around it and truthfully, I didn't really want to. In fact, I was ready to just forget about it all together.

Axel obviously had a different idea though because he called me again later that evening, right after dinner. Same stiff conversation, same awkward silence, same unresponsive me. I was sure that was going to drive him off; after all, who wants to talk to a silent rude asshole?

Despite my best efforts to drive him away though, he called me again the next afternoon, and then the next, and even the afternoon after that. About a week into the awkward phone calls, I finally came to the conclusion that I was going about this all wrong. So, it was time to try the next best thing; actually having a conversation.

"Hey Axel," I answered, turning the page of my Law book.

"What's goin' on?"

"Ugh, working on that assignment for Law. Did you understand it? I mean, I understand part of it but I'm stuck on number three because seriously, we're not answering five questions if each question has five questions inside of it," I babbled, continuing to turn the pages. Axel was silent for a minute and I was beginning to wonder if he had hung up on me when I heard his light breathing.

"Holy shit, I think that's the most you've ever said to me, ever," he said slowly, obviously in shock.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, can you help me first and gawk later?" I interrupted him.

"Oh…yeah, hold on." I could hear him rustling through his bag for his homework. "Okay so which part are you stuck on?"

"Um…all of question three?"

He laughed slightly and sighed. "Roxas, what are we going to do with you. Unable to get through one assignment by yourself. Anyway, the answers in order are criminal justice, nine, supreme court, jurisdiction, and I didn't get the last one because I was going to wait and ask you." I paused in my writing and raised an eyebrow.

"So basically we're both kinda fucked for the moment?"

"Yeah, something like that."

"Great," I mumbled. "Whatever, I'll work on it later." I shut the textbook and threw it on the floor by my backpack. "So what's up?" Again, he paused for the longest time that I thought he hung up.

"You're…actually talking back?"

"Um yeah? Isn't that what people do on the phone?"

Okay, so he was starting to get a little suspicious about my plan. I probably needed to tone it down a bit so it didn't sound so fake.

"Yeah but…wow, Kairi was right."

Eh?

"Huh? About what?" I asked him, once again laying down on my bed and looking out the window.

"You."

"…okay, I got that. But what exactly did she have to say about me?"

"Just that it took you a bit of time to warm up to people, that's all."

Well great. Thank you, Kairi, for completely blowing my cover. Axel now thought that I was acting civil on my own accord. But then again…it really wasn't so terrible talking to him like a normal person. Besides, he wasn't being a dick at the current moment; why should I be one?

"Well…yeah."

"Any reason why?"

"…it's a long story."

"Well…I'm not going anywhere, are you?" he asked.

"Well not really, no…"

"So…?"

"So what?"

"Care to share?" he continued to prod. My shoulders sagged and I looked out the window, thinking and choosing carefully what I was going to say.

"…a few years back, somebody really important to me broke my trust for no real apparent reason. I guess that just affected me from then on forward. I don't know if that makes sense but…" I trailed off, going quiet. I didn't want to think about my dad right then and there, but Axel asked.

"Sounds like a total dick," he replied.

"No…he's not…really," I mumbled in defense. Axel must have noticed the change of tone because he quickly changed the subject.

"Anyway, tomorrow's Friday."

"…good job," I couldn't help but laugh. "Now, what color is the sky?"

"Don't be mean," he chided. "No, I was going to say that you should come to Demyx's tomorrow."

"What for?"

"Just to hang out. I think he was gonna ask you and Sora tomorrow, Kairi too. He doesn't mind who's here actually, so I figured I'd pass on the message."

"Oh," I replied, for lack of any other answer. "I think we'd have to figure out if we're being forced into something else. Fridays tend to be canceled out in favor of hanging out with Aunt Seiya."

"Huh?"

"Sora's mom."

"Oh." He sounded a little confused, not to mention disappointed.

I hate disappointing people, no matter who the person was.

"…actually, I think we'll just tell Aunt Seiya that we'll hang out with her Saturday," I said, unsure of what words were leaving my mouth now.

"Really?"

"Sure."

"Sweet, that'd be awesome."

"Yeah, we'll be there."

"Awesome. Anyway, I should go, I have to get ready for work. I'll talk to you tomorrow though, if not later tonight?"

"Um, sure. Probably tomorrow though, I have a lot of homework I need to finish with," I added quickly.

"Okay sure. My shift isn't over until eight or so anyway. I'll talk to you tomorrow then."

"Okay…see ya later."

"Bye Rox." And he hung up before I could even correct him. Hanging up my own phone, I set it on my bedside table and got up again, grabbing my backpack and hoisting it up onto my bed, digging for my math book.

Okay, so maybe I wasn't exactly diverting Axel's attention and driving him away. In fact, I was pretty sure that I was doing just the opposite, pulling him further in and actually warming up to him. So what if my plan had gone off-course? Something was happening though; I just wasn't so sure what it was.

Oh well. Maybe being friends with Axel wasn't such a bad thing after all.

Take note that I said **maybe**.

* * *

This chapter's title is copyright of Cobra Starship, a line from their song, "It's Warmer In The Basement."

Last two chapter titles are copyright of The Click 5, a line from their song "Pop Princess", and Fall Out Boy, a line from their song "Our Lawyer Made Us Change The Name Of This Song So We Wouldn't Get Sued", respectively.

Thanks to: **Random AkuRoku Fan**, JohnneyAntonelli, **goldfishlover73**, Kenpachi, **r e d m u s h r o o m s**, alicia, **Lily Vendrem**, Astrazoxity, **Veritas4Eternity**, DashAway, **Totally-Out-Of-It**, Eienakari, **mentaru**, Ruaki,** Emu**, Dreamcrafter, **Darkness-Heart**, ExistentialCarousel, **gothangel123**, Tifa-sama, **Vel**, Smoking Panda, **Heir to the World**, Jack, **XxSurrelAngelxX**, Squirrelgurl, **SummerDayDreamer**, Shiguna, and **amandazgreat**. You guys rock, as usual, and I love you all enough to the point that it's 2:15 am and I'm posting this and I wrote 17 pages of this chapter **today**. Yep, that's how much I love you.

The songs Roxas sang were, of course, Beautiful Soul by Jesse Mccartney and Bite Back by the All-American Rejects. I don't own the bands, or the songs. I also don't own the Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy and any other random thing I threw into this chapter that I'm not quite recalling.

Oh yes, and thank you April for beta-ing this even though you were as dead-tired as I was -hearts-.


	4. Nervous Hands and Anxious Smiles

**Chapter Four**

_Nervous Hands and Anxious Smiles, I Can Feel You Breathing_

* * *

So have you ever heard that saying that's like, "Your worst enemy could become your best friend"? Well, even if you haven't, you just heard it from me so hah! Point being, I guess you could say that's kinda what was starting to happen between me and Axel. I mean, sure, I couldn't stand him when I first met him but slowly, he was starting to grow on me.

And between you and me, it was beginning to scare me a little.

Truthfully, I had no **real** reason to be scared of our growing friendship but I really thought I did. Kairi was right, I had attachment issues; plus, I already thought that Axel was cute. Now that I thought he was a cool guy, what would that lead up to?

I had to keep my distance from him no matter what before something disastrous happened. The last thing I needed was to get myself into another twisted relationship with somebody.

But of course, nothing seemed to go as planned lately.

* * *

"So are you guys going to Demyx's tonight?" Kairi asked us on the way out of the school as we headed to the parking lot. School was officially over for the week and all of us were just ready for a break.

"How did you even find out about that?" I countered back as we headed for my car.

"And how come I wasn't even informed about this?" Sora complained as he continued toward his own car.

"Axel told me last night at work," Kairi answered my question.

"And I was going to tell you about it when we were both at home," I replied to Sora. He frowned briefly before shrugging and stopping at his car which was right next to mine.

"Okay fine, I guess I'll let it slide. So are we going?" he questioned me as he unlocked his car, leaning against the side and looking at me.

"Yeah, I guess so. Think Aunt Seiya will object?"

"She's not even going to be home. She's got a date," Sora ground out, rolling his eyes heavenward.

"Your mom's going on a date?" Kairi's eyes widened, staring at my cousin in disbelief.

"Yep. Some guy from work that's been into her for a while now I guess." Sora was making it pretty obvious that he didn't want to talk about it.

"So uh, guess we'll go over there then," I said, quickly changing the subject.

"Guess so. What time are we going over there?"

"Uh, whenever I guess."

"Demyx said sometime after eight because he has to work," Kairi chipped in, jumping into my car as soon as I unlocked it.

"…kay, guess we're going at eight then." I shrugged and looked back at Sora. "Where are you going right now?"

"I have to go check into work, make sure they don't need me," he replied, fiddling with the keys in his hands. Sora works at the local video store; so does Riku.

I'm surprised that they actually get any work done.

"Sooo, I'll just meet you at home?"

"Yep. I should be home by four," he said and waved at us, climbing into the car and starting the engine, leaving Kairi and I behind. She glanced over at me as I slid into the driver's seat, starting it up and leaving as well.

"He's not really happy with Seiya going on that date, is he?" she asked me as I drove us back to our neighborhood, turning up the volume of my stereo.

"How could you tell?" I rolled my eyes. She chose not to say anything, looking out the window again.

"So you guys are really going to go to Dem's tonight?" she changed the subject.

"Yeah, why not?" I stopped at a traffic light and returned her previous glance.

"Because Ax-el will be there," she said with a grin, turning her head back to me.

"So?"

"I thought you didn't like him?" The light changed color and I started to drive again, shrugging my shoulders as an answer.

"Okay, maybe I changed my mind. I mean, once you get to talking to him, he's not so bad right?" I babbled on and on as I entered our neighborhood.

"Yeah, we tried telling you that from the very beginning," she pointed out.

"So I'm a little slow on the uptake. What more do you want from me, Kai?" I pulled into her driveway and put the car in park, turning in my seat to look at her.

"The truth would be nice."

"I **am** telling you the truth though!"

"Roxas," she said slowly, grabbing her shoulder bag from the floor. She looked at me for a moment before shaking her head and opening the door. Obviously she changed her mind. "It's not important. I'll see you later tonight okay?"

"No, what were you going to say?" I demanded. She stopped in her tracks and stood halfway out of my car, keeping her back to me.

"It was nothing, really," she insisted.

"Promise?" I challenged her, waiting for her to crack. Kairi knows that she can't lie to me; she's horrible at it, in fact. Same with Sora. She turned to look at me and smiled reassuringly.

"Promise," she answered firmly, finally getting out of my car and slinging her bag over her shoulder. "See ya later!" She slammed the door and practically skipped up to her front door, already grabbing her cell phone and holding it to her ear. I'm not saying that I didn't believe her but…

…okay, that's exactly what I was saying. But come on! Kairi was definitely acting weird and I didn't like it. Then again, there wasn't much I could do about it until she decided to tell me what was up. So, being the good friend I am, I backed out of her driveway and left, determined not to bother her about it. By the time I got home, I noticed that Sora's car was already parked on the curb. With a quick glance at the clock, I saw that it was only a quarter after three. Parking my car in the driveway and heading to the house, I threw open the front door and slammed it behind me.

"Sora?"

"What?" he called from the living room. Making my way through the front hall and turning right at the stairs, I found my cousin sitting on the couch watching TV.

"I thought you wouldn't be home until four?" I ended up sitting next to him, glancing at the TV briefly.

Oprah. He was watching Oprah. It was then I realized that Sora wasn't actually **watching **the TV.

"No, I said that I'd be home **by** four. There's a difference," he countered back, still staring at the TV in front of us. There was an awkward silence for a moment, me watching Sora and Sora (seemingly) watching the TV.

"So…care to share what bit you in the ass?" I casually asked, leaning back and folding my hands behind my head.

"Only if you'll do the same in return," Sora shot back instantly, refusing to look away from Oprah.

"Wait what?"

"You heard me." He finally looked away and settled his gaze on me.

"Yeah but that doesn't mean I know what the hell you're talking about." I couldn't help it when I raised an eyebrow. He continued looking at me for a few moments before shaking his head.

"Nothing." He looked away and changed the channel. As a sudden sense of déjà vu set in, I snatched the remote from him and turned off the TV, forcing him to look at me again.

"No, no more of this nothing stuff. I want to know what's going on!" Sora calmly reached up and pried my hands off of his shoulders.

"Roxas, relax. All I'm saying is that you're suddenly acting different. Or maybe you're finally going back to normal, that's all." He shrugged and got off of the couch, heading toward the stairs. Without hesitation, I got up and followed him up to his room.

"And what's that supposed to mean?" I questioned, standing in the doorway so that he couldn't get through. Sora sighed and met my eyes again.

"It means that ever since the day you met Axel, you were being a complete jackass but now you're starting to go back to being the cool Roxas everybody likes." He shrugged again and leaned against the wall.

"…was I really being that big of an ass?"

"Uh-huh. Everybody noticed it, even Naminé and she's hardly even around anymore because of stupid Marluxia. Our question is, what made you change back?" Sora folded his arms over his chest and stared me down. Just because he was 17 already and I wasn't didn't mean that he had complete authority over me.

Besides, his glare made him about as scary as a goldfish.

"Nothing made me 'change back', dude. I wasn't even really aware that I was being a dick, remember?"

"Yeah but something made you snap out of it."

"Not really…I guess it's just because Axel's not as bad as I thought. Is that a problem?" He blinked at me in surprise and laughed slightly.

"Whoa, Rox, easy on the defense. It was just a question."

"Well now you know the answer," I replied and moved away from his door, heading into my own room.

"Yeah, but I probably could have figured that out on my own."

"So why didn't you?" I snapped back. Sora was quiet again, watching me from his own doorway.

"What time do you want to head to Dem's?" he changed the subject just like he always did when he knew he was busted.

"Well we decided on eight remember?"

"Oh…yeah."

"Who's driving? Since like, there's no point in both of us taking our cars." I leaned against the doorframe of my room, staring him down.

"…I guess I can. Are we picking up Kairi?" he asked, refusing to meet my eyes.

"Probably since she doesn't have a car anymore. Something about her mom taking it to use as her own?"

"Yeah, she told me about that…" he trailed off, finally looking up at me. I didn't respond right away, pausing to see what he had to say. He continued to examine me quietly, scrunching up his nose in thought. It was kind of weird, the way he was staring at me.

"So…let me know when you're ready to leave," I said, quickly stepping into my room and shutting the door before Sora could say anything else. I crossed the room and curled up on my bed, staring at the door. I didn't get what was going on. Sora was acting weird, Kairi was definitely acting weird, and it had something to do with Axel because both of them had mentioned him. It didn't really matter though I guess because nothing was going on with me and Axel.

Really.

Besides, they couldn't prove anything even if they tried. Although I guess I **was** acting a little different now that Axel was around but I liked to think of it as readjusting, not being weird. But apparently my cousin and my best friend were both against me and I had to find a way to convince them that I wasn't reacting to Axel.

Yeah. Easier said than done.

* * *

At about eight, Sora and I left our house in his car, heading first to Kairi's to pick her up, and then over to Demyx's house. The ride over was pretty silent and I was kind of thankful when we pulled up into the driveway, hopping out and knocking on the door. You can imagine how surprised I was when Axel answered the door instead of Demyx.

"Hey guys, Dem'll be home soon," he greeted us and moved out of the way so that Kairi and Sora could enter the house. I on the other hand stayed out on the porch with Axel, looking up at him curiously.

"If Dem's not even home yet, how did you get into the house?" I questioned him, leaning against the railing.

"I've got a key," he brushed it off.

"Why would he give you a key though?" I asked him again. Before he could answer, Demyx's car pulled into the driveway and he opened the door, pulling out four boxes of pizza as Riku stepped out of the passenger side with two bottles of soda.

"I see you collected your paycheck," Axel said teasingly, opening the door for the two of them. Demyx works at Pizza Hut and every time he gets paid, he ends up bringing pizza home with him. It works in his favor though since he lives on his own; his mom died at childbirth and his dad…well his dad's a story I don't really want to go into. He was raised by his grandparents until he was 18 and then he moved out. He doesn't mind living by himself though; half of the time, he's with us anyway.

"Yeah, figured I had to feed you free-loaders. Riku picked out the films though," Demyx called over his shoulder as Riku scurried in behind him, dropping the sodas and three DVDs on the table before crashing on the couch next to Sora. Axel shifted his gaze back to me and nodded toward the door.

"Coming in?" Without another word I re-entered the house, settling in on the couch as well. Axel found his way to the spot next to me, leaving Kairi and Demyx to the one reclining chair and the floor. Sora was sitting in Riku's lap and already munching on a slice of the pizza Demyx brought with him while the mohawked boy was fiddling with his DVD player.

"What movies did we get?" I heard Kairi ask from the chair as we both grabbed for pizza.

"Well, this first one is especially for Sora," Riku replied with a small grin, taking a bite of the pizza Sora held in front of him.

"Aha!" Demyx exclaimed, jumping away from the TV. "Got it!" He made his way over to the chair and lifted Kairi up, setting her back down on his lap. The credits started rolling and a guitar rift started playing.

"You guys rented American Pie Band Camp?" Axel snorted, watching as Matt Stifler and crew showed up on the screen.

"Oh screw you guys!" Sora shouted around his pizza, giving his boyfriend an accusing glare.

"Hey Sora, don't feel bad that you used to be a bandie just like them," I said casually, grinning and snickering to myself. He looked at me blankly and rolled his eyes.

"You have cheese in your braces," he said flatly before taking another bite and turning back to the movie.

"What!" I frantically started moving my tongue around, hoping to knock the food loose. Axel was quietly laughing at me from his place on the couch. "Shut up!" I nudged him in the ribs as I felt the cheese come out of my bracket.

"You have to admit, Rox, he got you back pretty good," Axel pointed out, taking one of the glasses from off of the table and pouring himself some soda. I definitely wasn't expecting him to do the same for me though.

"Um…thanks," I said awkwardly, picking up the glass and taking a sip of the Mountain Dew in my hand. "And no he didn't," I added as an afterthought.

"So did," Sora retorted, sticking out his tongue.

"Oh yeah, that's real mature," Kairi remarked, focusing on the movie that was playing.

"I don't mind," Riku brought up as he touched his tongue to Sora's.

"We know, Riks, we know," Demyx cut in, taking another slice of pizza. "So where's Selphie at?"

"She had to work," Axel answered. "I kind of felt bad."

"Why?" I looked away from the screen and up at Axel.

"Because the rest of us are having fun and she's stuck at work?"

"Oh." Everyone kind of went quiet after that, when we weren't eating or making comments about the movie. Sora kept insisting that band camp wasn't really like that, but none of us believed him. Besides, the last time Sora went to band camp, it was before he was even into sex, right before sophomore year. Riku eventually got him to shut up by cuddling him and kissing his neck. About halfway through Band Camp, the pizza was finished and everybody had a glass of Mountain Dew or Pepsi in their hands. Everybody else seemed pretty comfortable, even the two that were sitting on people's laps, but I kept fidgeting. I wasn't even sure why; I just didn't feel very comfortable sitting between the molesting couple and a guy that I thought was hot. Something just wasn't right about that picture. I kept trying to get Kairi's attention to get a little help with the situation but she was too busy watching the movie and talking to Demyx. Instead, I got unwanted attention.

"Stop moving around so much will ya?" Axel looked down at me, shifting again so that I wasn't rubbing against him every time I wiggled around.

"Sorry," I murmured an apology and continued fidgeting. I heard Axel sigh and before I knew it he had removed his hand from the spot next to me and draped his arm around the back of my couch behind my head.

"Is that better?" he asked, never taking his eyes off of the screen.

"Er…sure." I shifted again. Okay so maybe it wasn't much better because now he was actually touching me, but I figured that I had to tone it down before I was either thrown on the floor or made a fool out of myself like I always did. Somehow, I ended up leaning in toward Axel's body so that I was half-laying against his side, all-the-while trying to get myself to calm down.

I mean, it was just Axel. But then again, maybe that was my problem to begin with. I stopped squirming around though and was able to actually **watch** the movie. Of course, I had to also ignore the fact that Axel's fingertips kept stroking my shoulder but that wasn't hard.

Band Camp finished about half an hour later and Demyx stood up, picking up another DVD and placing it in Band Camp's spot.

"What's this one?" Kairi asked as she stood up again to allow Demyx to sit down.

"Starsky and Hutch," he answered and settled back into his chair, shifting Kairi's body so that they were both sitting comfortably. I quickly came to find that the movie was boring; really boring. I could feel my eyes drooping and my head would bob forward every now and then. I forced myself to stay awake for as long as I could though. The last thing I remembered was Starsky and Hutch were at some Jewish girl's party and Axel's fingers were toying with my hair.

* * *

I'm going to guess that I fell asleep shortly after that because I don't remember how the movie ended. I shifted again, nuzzling closer to the source of warmth I felt. Suddenly I stopped moving my head as it ran into something muscle-like and firm. My eyes slowly opened and I was greeted by the sight of an inner thigh.

"Well good morning, Sunshine."

Correction, **Axel's** inner thigh. I instantly shot up and looked around the room. It was just Axel and I in the living room. I heard vague crashes from the kitchen but other than there, there was nothing.

"What's going on?" I asked, scooting away from the boy next to me.

"Well, you ended up falling asleep halfway through Starsky and Hutch and you weren't awake by the time Not Another Teen Movie was over, so Sora, Riku, and Kairi left you here and headed home," Axel explained.

"**What!**" I exclaimed. "Are you kidding me?"

"Rox, it was 1:30 in the morning and you weren't waking up. Sora said he'd rather leave you here than deal with a cranky you on the way home."

"What time is it right now?"

"About two."

"In the morning?" I blinked and glanced at the clock on the wall by the TV. Indeed it was about two am.

"Yep. Like I said, we tried waking you up, but you seemed to be enjoying nuzzling my crotch," Axel said casually but I knew that he was a little suspicious. I looked away from him and back at the clock, if anything so he couldn't see my face.

"Um, yeah…sorry about that. I kind of do weird things in my sleep," I tried to explain but he silenced me.

"Don't worry about it okay?" I kind of just nodded and Demyx came out of the kitchen, instantly spotting me.

"Well look who's awake," he greeted me.

"Why did you let Sora leave without me?"

"Because he was impatient and tired and you weren't waking up either. Besides, you usually don't care about crashing here," he pointed out.

"…I guess it's okay," I mumbled, still avoiding Axel's eyes that were trained onto me.

"You sleeping on the couch then?"

"What about the guest room?"

"That's where I'm sleeping," Axel filled in. "So unless you want to like, join me in bed or something…"

"…I think I'll stick with the couch," I mumbled. Axel shrugged and got off of the couch, stretching out a bit.

"Okay, well, I'm hittin' the sack. Night guys." He waved over his shoulder and shuffled toward the guest room, shutting the door behind him. Demyx didn't move though; instead, he stayed standing behind the couch, leaning on the top and looking down at me.

"So…" he started off.

"So?"

"What's with you and Axel now?" he asked me.

"God, why is everybody asking me that?" I exploded, sitting straight up and staring at Demyx. "You, Sora, Kairi, **everybody** keeps mentioning him!"

"It's because you're starting to get attached," Demyx responded matter-of-factly.

"I am not."

"You are." He nodded. "It's written all over your face, Rox."

"…well maybe I'm just starting to accept him as a friend. Is that a real problem?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Friends don't bury their face in their friend's crotch," he said flatly.

"You know I do weird shit in my sleep."

"That was beyond weird though. I mean, seriously…you've never done that. The most you've done is lay your head in Kairi's lap."

"Speaking of, what's up with you and Kairi?" I switched the subject, just to get him off my back.

"I like her," he said bluntly with a shrug.

"Like…like her, like her?" I asked curiously.

"Mmhmm."

"Since when?"

"Dunno, just recently."

"…I never would have guessed," I responded truthfully. I mean, I really didn't; my guitarist crushing on my best friend. The rock star and the goodie-two-shoes. The punk and the prep. The bad contrasting clichés could go on and on, trust me. Then again, I was also surprised by the fact that Demyx came right out and said it. I mean, aren't crushes supposed to be secret for a while?

"I know, I think it's weird too. But she's really kind of an awesome chick, plus she's really pretty." Demyx grinned. "Can you blame me?"

"I guess not…does she know?"

"Oh, no not yet," he replied. "I might ask her out later though." I opened my mouth to respond to that when I saw a flash of red out of the corner of my eye and Axel shut the bathroom door.

"…why's Axel here?" I changed my mind.

"Because he can be."

"…but he was already here before you were home."

"Makes sense, he didn't have to work today." Demyx suddenly pushed himself away from the couch and went around the living room organizing everything. He may not look like it, but Demyx really is a neat-freak. He started acting like one when he moved in by himself.

"What exactly are you trying to say, Dem?" I finally asked, getting tired of going around in circles.

"Axel lives here. I thought you already knew that?" He gave me an odd little glance before resuming to his cleaning duties.

"Wait, wait, wait. Axel lives here? Like, with you?"

"That's what I just said."

"Why?"

"Does it matter? We're both living on our own, so we're living together…on our own." He looked up with a small confused look. "That didn't make any sense did it?"

"No, not really."

"…okay the point is, we're living together but we're not **together-**together you know?"

"Dem, you're making my head hurt a little."

"Well then maybe you shouldn't change the subject so often hmm?" Demyx chided.

"Man, you two are still up?" Axel reappeared in the living room, standing in his boxers and chewing on his toothbrush.

"It's just Roxas being difficult, nothing new," Demyx explained and waved it off. "But now I'm sleepy so I'm going to bed. Rox, you know where the extra pillows and blankets are." And with that, he left to go to his own bedroom, shutting the door moments later. Axel gave me a skeptical look before shrugging and smiling cheerfully.

"Night!" he chirped and turned, heading back to the guest….well now, his, bedroom. That left me out in Demyx's living room on a broken-in couch. I finally got off of the couch, opening the hall closet and grabbing a blanket and a pillow before I retreated back to my "bed", making myself comfortable and curling up into a ball. Sleep didn't come easily this time though; I couldn't get my brain to stop thinking about everybody's accusations about me and Axel. Axel and I, whatever. It's my story, don't hate.

…oh great. Now I'm saying don't hate.

Anyway, fact of the matter was, nothing was happening, or so I thought. But I had all three of my closest friends against me, convinced that something was happening. I didn't even know how to get them off my back about it either, I was pretty much stuck. Kairi already knew that I thought Axel was cute or whatever, but that wouldn't strike up a big discuss-…wait.

Maybe Kairi had told everyone that I was bi! Oh great, just another way for my life to be ruined. Maybe Sora and Demyx now know and they're both worried about my sanity because I for one do not scream flamer like Sora does. Maybe Kairi told **Axel** that I was bi!

…or maybe I was just being paranoid. It was about then that I decided to stop thinking about everything that was cluttering my brain and start thinking about other things.

In case you care, I thought about the PowerPuff Girls until four in the morning before I finally fell asleep.

* * *

By the time I woke up the next morning, I was still tired and disoriented, but at least I wasn't thinking about the PowerPuff Girls anymore. A quick glance at the clock told me that it was ten in the morning already. I had no idea where Demyx or Axel were, but I guess it didn't matter. All that mattered was that I was seriously regretting not using the bathroom once while at Dem's. I shot off of the couch and darted to the bathroom, not thinking much about the door being closed.

Demyx also has this habit of closing all of the doors in his house. I wasted no time in opening the door though and stepping inside, closing the door again behind me. It was then I suddenly clued in that the shower was running and that there was an actual **body** in that shower. The figure was too tall and wiry to be Demyx's though.

"Roxas, what are you doing?" Axel suddenly asked me, sticking his head out from behind the shower curtain and causing me to yelp in surprise.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" I all but squeaked and backed up the way I came, fumbling around for the doorknob.

"Uh…it's fine?" he shrugged, still giving me a look that clearly said 'What the hell were you thinking?'

"I'm sorry, I'll just go now," I managed to say as I finally opened the door, bolting out of the bathroom and into the hall. It was then that Demyx decided to walk right by and I crashed into him, falling onto the floor.

"Morning, Rox! What're you doing?" he greeted me, looking down at me. I squeaked again and scrambled to my feet, heading for the front door.

"Thanks for letting me stay the night, Dem, but I gotta go now, bye!" I blurted out and dashed out of the house, getting to the sidewalk before I realized that I had no way of getting home and I lived four miles away. That's about the time that I began walking, still mentally scolding myself for what just happened. I mean, how did I not notice that the shower was running? And Axel was just so calm about it and here I was trying not to completely melt in embarrassment. Besides it's not like I saw anything anyway! I was about to the end of the street when Demyx drove up behind me, slowing down until he was going the same pace that I was and rolling down the window.

"Do you want a ride at least?" he asked me, watching me walk instead of the road in front of him.

"It's fine, I can walk," I mumbled, stuffing my hands into my pockets.

"Roxas, four miles is a long way to walk."

"I can handle it."

"Get in the damn car," he demanded and stopped in front of me, even going as far as to open the door for me.

"Well since you asked so nicely," I mumbled and crawled into the passenger seat, closing the door behind me and waiting for Demyx to start driving again.

"…so you saw him in the shower huh?" He cast me a side-glance, now keeping most of his attention on the road.

"Who?"

"Who do you think?"

"…he told you?" I asked meekly, shrinking back into my seat.

"Mmhmm. He came out of the bathroom as soon as you slammed my front door and explained it."

"Oh…" I continued looking at my lap instead of meeting Demyx's eyes.

"So, why'd you bolt?" he continued asking questions.

"Because I walked in while he was showering and that was humiliating for him." He gave me a look that said he didn't' believe a word I was saying.

"I think it was more humiliating for you than for him. I mean, I've known Axel for years and he's definitely not shy. You on the other hand are."

"But I mean, I saw him in the shower, naked! Dem, that's not….it's just not right man!" I exclaimed.

"Would you care if it were me in that shower?"

"What?"

"Would you care if it were me?" he repeated himself, stopping at an intersection.

"Well, a little. But I mean, you're my friend so it's not that bad, right?"

"What if it were Kairi?"

"That's not fair, Demyx," I said sharply, looking up then and glaring at him.

"Why?"

"Because she's my best friend?"

"And yet, she's the opposite sex."

"So?"

"Are you saying that it was more awkward to see Axel naked in the shower, the one who has the same body parts as you, than it would be to see Kairi, who has boobs and other parts you don't?" He raised an eyebrow.

"I guess so." I shrugged. He just shook his head and snorted.

"You're a fucknut man, a genuine fucknut."

"And what's that supposed to mean?" I asked him, glaring slightly. "And what the hell does fucknut mean?"

"It means that you aren't telling me the entire truth and well, it's just an insult."

"Why are you insisting that I'm lying?" Demyx stopped in front of my house and let the engine idle, turning in his head to look at me.

"Because you're you."

"I'm not a liar!" I squawked.

"I'm not saying you are, I'm just saying that you have a tendency to avoid sharing how you feel, just like you are right now." Demyx nodded wisely. All I could do was laugh in his face.

"You're funny, you know that? I share plenty," I informed him and opened the door to his car.

"You think you do, Roxas, you just think you do."

"Goodbye, Demyx!" I waved cheerfully and slammed the door in the middle of his sentence, jogging up the front walk to my house. As soon as I entered the house, I slammed the front door and stood in the middle of the front hall.

"**Sora!**" My cousin soon appeared on the stairway, a guilty look already plastered onto his face.

"Uh, welcome home," he greeted me with a sheepish smile.

"What the hell! How could you guys just leave me there?" I exploded, thundering up the stairs and chasing him into his bedroom.

"I'm sorry! You just looked so comfortable and you wouldn't wake up and-"

"Well you could have picked me up and threw me in the car! Sora, how could you just…" I let out an aggravated sigh, grabbing him by the shoulders and shaking him around. "What the hell?!"

"Roxas, stop," he said while I shook him back and forward, managing to bring his hands up to mine and stopping all movement. "If you must know, it was Kairi's idea."

"Wait…what did you say?" I slowly dropped my hands down to my sides and stared at him.

"It was Kairi's idea to leave you there," he repeated, visibly relaxing now that I didn't have him in a death grip.

"Can I ask why?"

"I don't know." He shrugged and readjusting his shirt. "She wouldn't tell us no matter how hard Riku and I begged her to." I gave Sora a blank look and blinked once or twice, trying to figure out if he was being serious or not.

"…I'm going to Kairi's," I finally decided, already heading toward the stairs again.

"Hey Rox?" Sora called after me, causing me to turn around and look at him again.

"Yeah?"

"Maybe you should consider brushing your teeth before you go anywhere. Your breath reeks," he laughed and headed into his bedroom.

"Thanks a lot, jerk," I huffed and changed my direction, slamming the bathroom door behind me. After making myself presentable (including changing clothes and finally taking a leak), I ran downstairs and got into my car, heading straight for Kairi's. I didn't even bother ringing the doorbell when I got there and just opened the front door, running up the stairs to Kairi's room.

"Kairi!" I exclaimed, kicking the door open and stomping into her bedroom, spotting her digging through her dresser drawers.

"Well good morning, Sunshine." She grinned and looked up from the skirt in her hand. "Sleep well?"

"Fuck you, why'd you leave me there?" I demanded, immediately plopping down on her bed.

"I'm sure everybody else has already given you a reason though," she tried to back her way out.

"Yeah, they all said it was your idea." Okay, so Dem didn't even mention Kairi, but a little white lie never hurt anybody right?

"Okay, so it was my idea," she admitted, stepping into her closet to get dressed. "What's your point?"

"Why did you do it?" I repeated myself.

"Because you looked so cute like that."

Say what?

"What now?"

"You heard me. You looked absolutely adorable cuddled up to Axel and sleeping on him." She came out of the closet (hah, hah, hah, get it?) and grabbed her tie from the bedpost.

"So what, you left me at Demyx's just because I looked cute with Axel?"

"Basically, yeah." She nodded and slipped on her tie, hunting for her shoes.

"That doesn't make any sense, Kai," I said flatly, rolling over onto my stomach and watching her.

"Sure it does. See, if you think he's cute, it'd be nice to know if he thinks **you're** cute and let me tell you something, Roxas, I think he thinks you're cute," she finished her rant, stopping in front of me.

"…you really think so?" I raised an eyebrow, not quite ready to buy Kairi's story.

"Of course I think so. You should have seen the way he was looking at you last night, even though you couldn't, but you get the idea."

"I don't know about that, Kai."

"Just trust me okay?" she insisted and looked down at her watch. "We'll talk about this later, I have to get to work."

"But Kairi…" I whined, hoping to get her to stay and talk to me.

"Later okay? You know how to get out of my house; you've been here often enough." She waved over her shoulder but I didn't settle for that. Instead, I leapt off of the bed and followed her down the stairs.

"Well you need a ride right?" I pointed out.

"…well, yeah," she reluctantly agreed.

"Therefore, you can tell me what's going through your little head," I declared and grabbed her by the wrist, dragging her out of her house and into my car. She buckled up and sulked slightly as I started up the car, pulling out of her driveway.

"You're not being fair you know," she said slowly.

"Well neither are you! You left me sleeping in Axel's crotch just because **you** thought it was cute! How do you think everybody else reacted?"

"Roxas please. We all know that you're a snuggler."

"Stop telling everybody that!"

"Okay fine." She stopped talking all together. I could already feel a headache coming on and it wasn't even noon yet.

"Kairi…" No answer. "Kairi, can you please just tell me why you believe Axel thinks I'm cute? That's all I'm asking, I promise." I parked on the curb in front of the coffee house, turning off the engine.

"Because a.) he didn't mind that you were love-nuzzling his balls, and b.) just the look on his face said that he was fascinated by you," she explained as she climbed out of my car with me tagging after her, heading into the Noon Moon. Kairi took her place behind the counter while I sat on the other side in front of her, resting my head on my arms.

"But that doesn't make any sense."

"Why not?"

"I don't know, it's just…weird." I shook my head and wrinkled my nose. Kairi set a vanilla frappuccino in front of me with a chocolate chip biscotti; she always knows how to make me feel better.

"What's weird, that I might actually be right?"

"No…I dunno," I sighed, chewing on my straw gently. Kairi pursed her lips in thought as she wiped up the counter with a wet cloth.

"You know what I think, Rox?" she finally said after a short period of cleaning.

"No, but I'm sure you're going to tell me."

"Of course I am. I think you're developing a crush on Axel." She looked at me and leaned her elbows on the counter, staring straight into my eyes.

"I…**what?** No! Kairi that's not…no!" I protested, slightly shocked that she even suggested that. She didn't seem to think that the idea was weird though.

"Why not? You have all of the telltale signs, my friend, whether you want to admit it or not."

"I do not!"

"Do you even know what it feels like to like somebody?" she asked me, starting up the coffee machines behind her.

"I liked Naminé for a while, remember?"

"Yeah but that's different. You were what, 14?" Kairi gave me a skeptical look before she started in on some of her other morning tasks.

"How's that different?"

"There's a difference between puppy love and a real crush, that's all."

"I think you're full of it, personally," I declared and stood up from my stool, grabbing my frap and finishing off my biscotti.

"Just you wait, Roxas. You're going to realize that I'm right and then you'll be begging for more of my knowledge and expertise." Kairi nodded to herself.

"Sure, keep dreaming, Kai. I'll see you later."

"I'll call you when my shift's over."

"Okay…guess I'll talk to you then." I made my way over to the door and opened it right in Selphie's face. Luckily, I didn't hit her too hard.

"Sorry, Sel, didn't see you there," I apologized immediately, moving out of the way for her to enter the little shop.

"It's fine, Rox, really," she assured me and grinned, bounding over to Kairi and standing behind the counter. It wasn't long before those two were so wrapped up in conversation that they forgot I was standing there, so I let myself out of the coffee house, heading to my car and driving home. The first thing I found was Sora laying on the couch in the living room watching The Lion King.

"Back already?" he said without looking away from the screen.

"Yeah, I got my answers. I figured I didn't need to stick around any longer than I had to, plus she was working and Selphie showed up." I took another sip of my melting frappuccino and stood behind the couch, briefly watching the animated movie.

"You're not going to tell me, are you?" He finally looked away, locking his gaze with mine.

"I don't know…I'm not even really sure what's going on," I admitted, stirring my straw around.

"How can you not know when it involves you?" Sora raised an eyebrow. Truthfully, I was beginning to wonder the same thing myself.

"I just…don't. I need to think," I ended the discussion, turning and heading toward the stairs.

"You know that if you need to, you can talk to me right?" Sora offered, still watching me closely.

'_Sadly, Sor, I can't tell you. That's the problem.' _I sighed and nodded.

"Right," I replied and began making my way upstairs again.

"Hey Rox?" Sora stopped me again.

"What?"

"Mom said to remind you that you have an orthodontist appointment on Monday, eleven am sharp and Aunt Kia wants you to clean your room," he relayed the messages from my mom and aunt before turning back to the TV at last. Without another word, I ran up to my room and shut the door, turning on my computer and opening my media player, placing my playlist of music on shuffle. I figured I should try and clean my room, just so that my mom didn't freak on me. Besides, it gave me time to think.

Why would Axel think I was cute? We were just friends; friends who just met a few weeks ago, in fact. Why would Kairi even think that I had a crush on him? I hadn't even told her about that morning yet and she was convinced I was crushing. What would she think when I told her about the shower thing?

I'd never even had a crush on a boy before and there was no way in hell I was wasting my first one on Axel. Besides, I was just now getting used to him as a person; I didn't want to complicate things now. Senior year was supposed to be easy, piece of cake, uncomplicated! But no, now I had to worry about my psychotic best friend and a cute guy.

I soon came to realize that what was really bothering me was Axel and the fact that I was caught touching him, even if I was sleeping. I admit, I was a little embarrassed and mad, but I was mad at the wrong people; it wasn't Kairi's fault that I was cuddling with Axel, it was my own. Without waiting another minute, I grabbed my cell phone from my pocket and punched in Axel's number.

"Hello?

"Hey Axel…it's me," I said hesitantly, sinking onto my bed.

"What's up Rox? Since you know, I haven't seen you in **so** long," he joked. I knew I was doomed from the start.

"Uh…nothing. I just got home from dropping Kairi off at work," I replied, stalling to buy myself some more time.

"Sounds…great."

"Yeah," I mumbled, staying quiet once again. I had to figure out just how to word what I was going to say.

"So…did you need something?" Axel spoke again. I could tell that he was trying his hardest to be patient with me.

"…I'm sorry," I blurted out.

"For what?"

"Last night…this morning…everything," I sighed and leaned back against the wall, playing with my shoelace.

"Roxas, it's fine, really. Don't worry about it," he assured me through a small yawn.

"Are you sure?" I just couldn't understand how he was comfortable (well okay maybe not comfortable) but tolerant of me doing everything I'd done in the past 24 hours.

"Yes, I'm sure. Really, you just need to let that stuff go," he laughed slightly.

"…if you say so," I replied slowly. We were both quiet for a few more moments before Axel cleared his throat, gaining my attention.

"Anyway, Demyx and I are going into town to do a few things so I'm gonna have to let you go. I'll see you during third period on Monday okay?"

"Yeah…sure. No wait, I won't be there," I corrected myself, flinching at how unorganized and spastic I sounded.

"Why not? Plan on skipping school?"

"Well I mean…it's not like that. I have an appointment and uh, yeah. I might be back for sixth period," I replied, although I really doubted that. I never went back to school after I got my braces tightened.

"Okay then, guess I'll see you then."

"Right…see ya Monday."

"Hey Rox?" He stopped me from hanging up.

"Yeah?"

"Seriously…don't worry about it okay? I didn't mind." I couldn't help but stare at the phone for a few moments, raising an eyebrow in suspicion.

"Okay…bye, Axel."

"Later, Rox," he replied and hung up, leaving me to do the same. That was another thing; I wasn't so bothered that he was calling me Rox. In fact, I was starting to get used to it. After all, all of my other friends called me Rox from time to time, why shouldn't Axel?

Despite my best intentions, I didn't think that the phone call did much for either of us other than confuse me and make Axel think I was a paranoid son-of-a-bitch.

Maybe Kairi was right; maybe I was starting to become infatuated with Axel, even though I still highly doubted it. It was driving me crazy though. Without even setting down the phone, I dialed again, only this time I reached a different red-head.

"Roxas I'm at work!" Kairi answered right away.

"I saw Axel in the shower this morning and he caught me!" I exploded, instantly shutting her up.

"…you **what?**" she asked and I could imagine her eyes practically popping out of her sockets.

"I accidentally walked in on Axel in the shower and he was totally calm about it but I wasn't so I stuttered an apology and ran the other way!"

"…you are **so** cru-"

"Don't say it!" I cut her off.

"Fine, but we both know it's true."

"You're supposed to be making me feel better, not worse," I said flatly, ignoring the frown on my face.

"Can I make you feel better later when I have more time?" I would have been a little pissed off if it were anybody else, but I knew that Kairi was just being Kairi. If she wasn't at work, she'd definitely talk to me.

"I guess…"

"I'm sorry, Rox. Just…wait until I'm done at work and we'll talk okay?" I opened my mouth to answer but she cut me off. "In the meantime, stop beating yourself up over something like this and don't try and tell me that you're not beating yourself up because I know you are. I've known you for long enough," she said triumphantly.

"Right…thanks, Kai."

"Talk to ya later, Roxy!" And with that, she hung up on me. I finally put my phone down and climbed off of my bed, feeling a little less stressed out. Kairi and Axel were both right; I just needed to calm down and stop worrying about all of this awkwardness.

Doesn't mean it was as easy as it sounded.

* * *

Kairi didn't call me back that day. In fact, I didn't hear from her for the rest of the weekend. I didn't get a chance to confront her about it on Monday either. Instead, I got to sleep in because of my orthodontist appointment. I finally got in gear at about ten and managed to be awake, functioning, and on time.

Dr. Dino was…shall we say, weird. I mean sure, he's a nice guy but really he's awkward.

"Well good morning, Roxas!" he greeted me cheerfully as I climbed into my chair, fully prepared to tune out everything he said and get the hell out of the office. "Are you ready to take those braces off?"

Well, except for that.

"Say what?" I sat straight up and looked at him in shock.

"We discussed this the last time you were in. You're due to get your braces off today," he explained.

"…um…wow…yeah! Yeah, I'm ready!" I replied, leaning back in the chair.

"Excellent." He began working on my mouth, popping bracket off and polishing the glue off. Again, I wasn't really paying attention, I was too focused on the fact that I would no longer be referred to as BraceFace. The whole process took about two hours, two and a half, including getting the molds for my retainer (which, by the way, was disgusting). That goo did **not** taste like strawberry. Either way, by the time I walked (okay, more like skipped but nobody needs details) out of the office with instructions to come back after school to pick up my retainers, it was nearly time for sixth period to start. I walked down the hall toward my pre-calculus class, knowing that that would be the right place to catch up with Kairi. Right as soon as I walked up to the door, the bell rang and everybody came pouring out into the hall. As soon as Kairi walked out, I grabbed her by the elbow and started dragging her toward the English hall.

"Thanks for calling me back, Kai," I said immediately, not letting go of her arm.

"Roxas I'm so sorry! I was hanging out with Selphie on Saturday and then Sunday I had to babysit my cousins and I'm sorry!" she apologized profusely.

"…okay fine, since you have such a great excuse." I rolled my eyes, but she knew that I forgave her. She stopped outside of my AP English class and just looked at me, twisting her face in thought.

"Hey Roxas…smile," she demanded. I complied without being asked twice, smiling as wide as possible. She squealed in excitement and hugged me tightly.

"Roxas! You look so cute! Just wait until Axel sees you!" I slammed a hand over her mouth.

"We are never going to discuss me and Axel in that type of context inside these four walls okay?" I hissed, looking behind me to make sure Axel wasn't anywhere in hearing range. She nodded and pushed my hand away.

"Okay, fine we'll never discuss him. Now," she paused and smiled again. "You look so good though, I'm excited! You have to let me give you a make-over now."

"A wha?"

"Well, we have to change your look now that your braces are gone. Plus you need new clothes anyway if you're going to land a date with you-know-who," she explained, still smiling at me.

"Whoa who said I was getting a date with anybody?!"

"Trust me, I'll get you one!" She winked and began walking away.

"Wait a second, Kairi!" I called after her but the warning bell rang before I could get her attention again. She was already down at the other end of the hall; there was no way I was going to chase her down now. Without another word, I entered class and settled into my desk, not surprised that Axel wasn't there yet. He never showed up until the final bell rang anyway. Like always, he slid into his seat just as Teitzel shut the door beginning the lesson.

"Hey Roxas," Axel greeted me, glancing at me from the corner of his eye.

"Hey!" I said cheerfully, surprising both of us by my enthusiasm and smiling again. He turned his head all the way this time and did a double-take.

"So you can go through metal detectors now!" he joked, turning in his chair and looking me over full-on.

"Haha very funny." I rolled my eyes but grinned again.

"Did you just get them off?"

"Yeah, a few hours ago actually. Took me about two and a half hours, but they're off!" I beamed, ignoring the nagging voice in the back of my head that kept insisting that Kairi was right. Axel nodded in understanding and grinned, leaning toward me.

"So, how does it feel to know that you can now tongue somebody without potentially mutilating their mouth?" he murmured. I blinked and backed away a bit.

"Uh…say what?"

"Nothing," he said innocently, pulling away as well and facing forward as Teitzel began to lecture.

See, that's what was confusing me! He made stupid little comments like that and made me think about them and then I freaked myself out with trying to figure out what he was implying and then I got in trouble for not paying attention. Then the whole process began again the next day. It was driving me crazy!

Then again, I was determined not to let it get to me, hence why it was getting to me. Make sense? Good. I really didn't want to admit that Kairi was right, but I also didn't want to admit that I didn't have a clue what she was talking about. I mean, what was a crush anyway? What was love?

I definitely didn't think that it came from a tall red-head that was sitting next to me. Class was going by kind of slow at least; it gave me time to continue wondering what was happening and what Kairi was trying to tell me. I didn't snap out of it until Axel poked me in the arm with his pencil.

"Hey, look alive," he whispered. I looked at the whiteboard and went to work scribbling down all of the notes that were there. Axel poked me again.

"What?" I hissed, still writing notes at a bajillion miles an hour.

"Do you want your homework from Law and art?" he asked me, also looking at the board still.

"Um…yeah that'd be great, thanks," I blinked in surprise. Truthfully, I had been planning on getting my Law assignment from Sora and art from Riku. But since Axel was offering…why not?

"Great, I'll come over after school and show you what we're working on."

I definitely hadn't been expecting that.

"Wait, why can't you just show me here?" I asked, suddenly looking away from the board.

"Because I don't want to be here any longer than I have to, that's why. Is…that a problem?" he asked me, giving me a suspicious look.

"Uh, no! No problem. I just have to go do something after school really quick, shouldn't take me more than five minutes," I rambled, forcing myself to shut up when Axel continued staring at me.

"Okay…after school, I'll just follow you okay?"

"Sure. That'll be okay," I trailed off, thankful that Teitzel started talking again. Truthfully, that wasn't fine. I mean, let's go with this little scenario.

Me. Axel. Alone, in my house, for who knows how long.

Talk about a living nightmare.

* * *

This chapter's title is copyright to The Plain White T's, a line from their song "Our Time Now".

Yep, it's been a month, but I finally updated! I'm sorry about the delay guys and I'm sorry if this is a total filler chapter but it's done! I've been so busy getting ready to leave for college, which I do in about a week so yeah.

And I know that I said that I was going to update Basket Case (I think I promised that to Mushrooms), but trust me, that one will be up next; it's close to being done.

Anyway, thanks to: **Astrazoxity**, Piro Flare, **Lunar Chaos**, Veritas4Eternity, **SummerDayDreamer**, Darkness-Heart, **goldfshlover73**, DashAway**, r e d m u s h r o o m s**, JohnneyAntonelli, **Random AkuRoku Fan**, Dreamcrafter, **Heir to the World,** Naughty Sensei, **Axel-fiery-gurl**, Shiguna, **Ruaki**, Dork (Josh your review never ceases to amuse me), **Alicia**, Brenna**, mentaru**, blockofthewritingkind, **MaskedScissorDoll**, Eienakari, **Tama-Kitsune**, IneAngel788, **AsaHane**, XxSurrealAngelxX, **an-obscure-flaw**, Jack, **Midnights Heart**, Sakiya Mystery, **Deaths pet fox**, EternityMoon, **Wrath-kun**, Meine Liebe, and **Hakumei Mikomi**. All of you guys rock and I'm so glad you all reviewed! My Roxas muse and I both feel loved.

Anyway, now that this chapter's out….we can get to the fun stuff –innocent grin- Of course, you'll have to wait until next time. Thanks for reading and hope you liked it!

And of course, thank you April my beloved fledgling for beta-ing this for me and not telling me. I heart you.


	5. Dont Care Enough To Fool Round With Love

**Chapter Five**

_And I Just Don't Care Enough To Fool Around With Love_

Okay so, there's something I forgot to mention about myself; I never exactly got rid of the whole shyness factor. I know, I can hear you guys now. "WTF man?! You're a rock star!" I know, I get that shit from Sora and Dem all the time. But seriously, I just can't help it. I'm always a little wary about new people and Axel was no exception. Even though I knew him a little better now, I still wasn't sure what to really expect from him, or rather, what he expected of me.

All right, maybe I was being a little paranoid; can you blame me? Cute…no wait, hot boy wanting to come over to my house. Hot boy wanting to come over when nobody else is home yet. Hot boy wanting to come over when nobody else is home yet and most likely to want to study in my bedroom.

All of this made Roxas' brain overloaded. See, I'm even using third person about myself! But you know, it wasn't really that bad. In fact, it was a lot different than I had expected.

* * *

As soon as sixth period was over, I shot out of my seat and merged into the hallway with everybody else, if anything in a futile attempt to lose Axel. Unfortunately, I forgot the little fact that he has longer legs than I do. He was already waiting at my locker by the time I got there. 

"You know, you could have waited," he said jokingly, leaning on the locker next to mine.

"Yeah well, it's Teitzel's class. You really think I want to be in there any longer than I have to be?" I played it off, beginning to spin my combination. But for some reason, it wasn't working for me. No matter how many times I tried, the damn thing wasn't opening for me. Axel tilted his head curiously, watching me struggle with the metal beast.

"Need some help?"

"No," I muttered, banging my fist against the locker. "Open, damn you!" I heard him chuckle from beside me.

"You sure?" he tried again. I looked up from the locker and stared at him.

"Okay fine, **you** try it." I stepped away from the locker and let Axel take my place.

"So what's the combination?"

"8-24-8," I replied, leaning against the other locker. "But I'm telling you, you won't get it open-"

"Got it," he interrupted me, swinging open the locker door. I stared at him for a bit, completely in disbelief. He merely smiled and stepped away from my locker, leaving it open for me. I just kind of grumbled under my breath and looked in my locker.

It was then I realized that I didn't even need anything out of it. My books were still in my car, along with my backpack. I couldn't let Axel know that though; he'd make fun of me forever. I quickly scanned my locker, searching for something that I could pull out. I swiped up a pen and tucked it into my pocket, shutting the locker.

"Okay, I'm ready!" I said cheerfully, hoping he wouldn't mention what had just occurred. He raised a fine eyebrow, staring down at me skeptically.

"You needed in your locker for a pen?"

"Yes." I began making my way out of the building, heading out to the parking lot with Axel right on my tail.

"…you **do** realize that I could have just let you borrow one if you needed it."

"Well…uh…this is my lucky pen!" I protested, reaching my car and fishing in my pockets for my keys. Axel chuckled quietly and leaned against his mustang, watching me hunt through my pants.

"You are so full of shit," he declared and snickered. I found my keys and unlocked my car, glaring at him ever-so-slightly.

"Don't be a dick. Anyway, I have to go pick up something. Are you just going to follow me?" I asked, opening the car door.

"Yeah, I guess so." He shrugged and opening his car door. "Meet you there then?"

"Guess so," I repeated and got in my car, starting the engine and pulling out of the parking lot, not surprised that Axel was indeed following me. I parked in front of Dr. Dino's office and ran inside, getting the front receptionist's attention. She reached behind the counter and handed me a yellow case.

"Make sure you put those in right away. You have to wear them for two weeks straight and then after that just during night time. Oh, and you can only take them out to eat and brush your teeth," she explained to me.

"I have to put them in **right** now?" I gave her a surprised look, I'm sure. She merely nodded and typed things into her computer.

"So we'll set you up with an appointment for three months from now?"

"Um…sure," I replied, in the process of putting my retainers in. Hell, I was **not** going to let my teeth go bad after nearly three years of having braces. After making an appointment for my next check-up, I headed back out to my car, almost jumping in surprise at the sight of the red mustang parked next to my car.

Almost.

I got back into my car and Axel and I made our way back to my house, me parking in the driveway and him on the curb. The two of us made our way into my house in silence and I shut the door behind us, looking around the house.

"Sora?" I called out, suddenly shutting my mouth. My voice sounded horrible! It was all muffled up and gross-sounding! At least Axel looked rather amused. With a cheery flip of the finger, I wandered through the house in pursuit of my cousin. Turned out he was in the kitchen poking around through the fridge, but that really wasn't anything new.

"Oh hey, Rox. When'd you get home?" he asked without taking his head out of the fridge, shuffling jars and packages of food.

"Just a few minutes ago," I mumbled, hoping he wouldn't pick up on my odd voice. He nodded in understanding (or at least I think he did) and soon pulled himself out of the fridge with a package of vanilla yogurt in his hand. He blinked in surprise and looked past me, waving with his free hand.

"Hey Axel, what are you doing here?" he greeted the redhead behind me, grabbing a spoon out of the silverware drawer and opening his yogurt.

"Just thought I'd drop by." Axel shrugged and grinned back at Sora.

"Actually," I couldn't help but interrupt. "He's just here to show me what the homework was for a few of my classes and then he's leaving, aren't you Axel?" I gave him a pointed stare. He just kept smiling and nodded.

"Sure, whatever you say, Rox," he replied, patting me on the head as though I were some sort of child.

How rude.

Sora kind of just gave me a skeptical look before shrugging and grabbing his car keys off of the counter. "Whatever, I'm going to Riku's."

"Didn't you just see him like 15 minutes ago?" I asked. Sora was about to reply when he suddenly closed his mouth and changed his mind.

"What the hell is in your mouth?" he raised an eyebrow.

"Plastic," I mumbled. "Look, go away." He grinned in defeat and threw away the empty yogurt carton.

"Have fun studying," he drawled out, waving to us over his shoulder.

"Have fun getting banged!" I shouted back. He laughed slightly and looked back at me.

"C'mon Rox, it's only Monday. Riku only screws me on the weekends…and Fridays…and Wednesdays…I'll just go now," he finished quickly and practically ran out of the house, slamming the door behind him. I glanced back at Axel, only to see him rather amused. I didn't bother to give him an explanation and just turned on my heel, making my way up the stairs to my bedroom with Axel right behind me. I guess he couldn't keep his questions to himself though.

"So how long have those two been together?" he questioned, allowing his eyes to wander around the room.

"Five, maybe six years. That's just dating though, they've been friends since…forever." I eased myself onto my bed, tossing my keys and retainer case onto the desk.

"Really? Holy shit…" he breathed out in awe, gaze settling back on me.

"Yeah, a lot of people react the same way. It's one thing to be together for that long and still be in high school but even more so that it's a gay relationship," I rambled, stopping myself by grabbing my books and opening to the right page for my Law assignment.

"Well that's definitely something special…" he trailed off, sitting down at the foot of my bed and taking the book from me, flipping it to another page. "So basically you have to do all of this reading from pages 60 to 75 and then answer questions one, two, four, five, and seven on page 78.

"You have **got** to be shitting me."

"Nope, that was the assignment. Our teacher's nuts, what can I say?" Axel shrugged. I shrugged in return and reached into the drawer of my bedside table, taking out a stack of Post-It notes. I didn't even bother acknowledging the weird look that was on Axel's face, going on my merry way writing the assignment down on a Post-It and sticking it to the first page of reading, shutting the book and dropping it on the floor.

"There, that's one part down. What's next?" I asked, looking up expectantly.

"Well…art it was just working on our pencil drawings, nothing special. As for Teitzel's class…you have quite a bit."

"Like what?" I groaned, leaning back against the headboard of my bed.

"Were you not listening during class? We need to read the next three chapters of The Color Purple, do the next four pages in the reading packet, and do that other sheet he gave us at the end of the period," he responded.

"But that book is **so** boring!"

"Yeah, tell me about…but there's not much we can do, is there?"

"Uh, boycott the class is a good idea," I remarked, scrawling out the assignment on a separate Post-It note, stuffing it into my copy of the novel. Axel raised an eyebrow and nodded toward the stack of blue, pink, and green Post-Its.

"Obsession of yours?"

"Somewhat, yes. They just make everything so much easier to keep track of since they're like neon colors," I attempted to explain, waving toward my desk that was covered in Post-Its. Axel shook his head and laughed quietly.

"Insane." He picked at the shoelace of his beat-up Chuck All-star, continuing to glance around my room. His gaze stopped on my CD tower that sat in the corner next to my desk. He got off of my bed and wandered over to it, eyes widening at the number of CDs I actually had. "Jeeze Rox, what'd you do, rob a Sam Goody?"

"What can I say? I just really like music...it's my passion." I stretched out on my bed, watching him poke through my stuff.

"I can see that. But honestly, how many CDs do you have?"

"Uh…300, 400 give or take…" I trailed off as he started pawing through the different CDs.

"Iron Maiden, Metallica, Ramones, The Academy Is, Taking Back Sunday, Guns N Roses, Killswitch Engage, Dashboard Confessional, My Chemical Romance, From First To Last, I Am Ghost, The Killers, Lostprophets, The Mars Volta, Pennywise, Phantom Planet, Linkin Park, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Relient K, Snow Patrol, Story of the Year, Stroke 9, Treble Charger, Ash, Pretty Girls Make Graves, The Offspring, The Yeah Yeah Yeahs, jeezes Roxas!" Axel continued throwing my CDs on the floor and on my bed, still reading off band names. "You have a Britney Spears CD?"

"I was ten," I mumbled, heaving myself off of the bed. "And stop throwing my shit everywhere."

"So what's your favorite?"

"Huh?"

"Your favorite band," he clarified, looking at me curiously.

"Oh…" I trailed off, digging through the pile of CDs on the floor, brushing off Aaron Carter, Avenged Sevenfold, The Doors, Mandy Moore, OK GO, and Audioslave before getting to the bottom of the pile and pulling out a single CD. Wordlessly, I handed it to Axel and waited.

"Motion City Soundtrack?" he read off of the cover, looking back at me.

"Yeah…those guys are my favorite band. Their lyrics just like…I dunno, it's gonna sound corny, but their lyrics just speak to me. I can relate to everything." I shrugged, taking the CD back from him. "They inspire me besides."

"Nice. Where'd you get all the money to buy all of these though?" he asked, starting to pick up CDs that he threw on the floor.

"…my dad," I replied simply.

"Your dad gave you all of the money to buy these?" Axel raised an eyebrow.

"Mmhmm." I nodded. I was still telling Axel the truth at least; he just didn't have to know the details about it.

"Wow…that's pretty cool I guess." Axel nodded and finished putting away my CDs, standing at the end of my bed and glancing around the room again. "Soooo…" he trailed off.

"So?" I gave him a dubious look, writing out another list on a Post-It.

"Is music like your entire life or what?"

"I wouldn't say it's my entire life, but it is a big part of it."

"Any particular reason why?"

"It's something I'm good at. Besides, why not? Everybody loves a rock star," I pointed out, grinning widely. Axel laughed lightly and moved on to examining things on my desk.

"You have a point," he agreed, picking up something from my desk. I couldn't tell what it was though, his back was blocking it from sight. "Is that you?" he asked, turning around and holding up a picture frame. I squinted a bit and crawled to the end of the bed to see better.

"Ah…yeah," I replied sheepishly, rubbing the back of my neck and giving him a goofy smile. It was a picture of me from when I was about 10 wearing these huge aviator sunglasses, a t-shirt, and cut-off shorts jamming out on a little toy guitar. Kairi had given it to me for something last year, probably part of my Christmas present or something.

"Aww, that's so cute," Axel teased me, glancing between me and the picture. "You were a cute kid, Rox."

"Um…thanks?" Awkward…I mean honestly, how many guys tell another guy that they were a cute kid? Yeah, none. Axel opened his mouth to talk again when a knock came from my bedroom door. Before I even had time to get up and answer it, the door opened and Kairi walked into the room.

"Thanks for waiting for me after school, Roxas," she said to me, placing her hands on her hips. Oh shit, I knew I had forgotten something!

"Kairi I'm so sorry!" I started to apologize before Axel covered my mouth with his hand.

"Kai, it's my fault. I held your boyfriend hostage so that he could get his homework," he explained for me. Kairi grinned slightly and nodded.

"Okay, then he's forgiven. And he's not my boyfriend," she added as an afterthought.

"Best friend, whatever." Axel glanced at his watch and frowned. "I should get going. I'll see you guys later." He waved and started to head out, stopping shortly at the door. "And Rox? If you don't get anything I just explained to you, feel free to call." With that, he walked out of my bedroom, down the stairs, out the front door and got into his car, pulling away from my house. Kairi looked away from the window then, giving me an amused look.

"Well, if you had just **told** me that you had a date with Axel…" she started off, sitting on my bed.

"I did **not** have a date! He was just telling me what the homework was!" I argued back, sitting on the other end of the bed.

"Sure, you call it whatever you want. I saw the look."

"What look?"

"Roxas. The **look**," she emphasized, giving me her own look.

"Kairi, I don't understand what 'the look' is!"

"He totally digs you," she confirmed.

"You're totally full of crap," I countered back, picking up my copy of The Color Purple.

"Oh come on, Roxas! You can't keep denying this forever."

"Sure I can, just watch." I opened the novel then, thus ignoring Kairi. She pouted for a bit, giving me a hard stare. I guess the silence was killing her because she then spoke again.

"So…Demy just called me," she started out.

"Uh-huh? What'd he have to say?" I asked without looking up from my book.

"Well…for starters, you do realize that your birthday's in like, two weeks right?"

"...what?" I raised an eyebrow. "No it's not!" She pulled out her cell phone and pushed a few buttons, handing it to me.

"Today is October 10th. Your birthday is the 26th. That's 16 days, and if you round that, that's two weeks," she clarified. I stared at her phone briefly, mildly surprised by how fast time had gone by.

"Okay so my birthday's in two weeks. What's your point?" I asked, handing the small flip phone back to her.

"My point is, Sora claimed your 15th birthday party, I got to arrange your sweet sixteen, so Demyx feels like he should be the one planning your 17th. Therefore, he's throwing a huge Halloween party to tie in with your birthday."

"…so instead of throwing two parties this year, we're just throwing one?"

"Well, according to Demy, it's going to be the, and I quote, 'most colossal, massive, wild, bestest Halloween party of the entire year!' But since this is coming from him, I'm not entirely sure what that means." She stretched herself out on my bed, picking at a few loose threads.

"Um…it means that he's going to throw the most colossal, massive, wild, bestest Halloween party of the entire year," I repeated, grinning slightly.

"Oh shush," she scolded me lightly. "Anyway, the point is, you can do whatever you want on your birthday, just be sure you're free for Halloween. Oh and Demy said something about costumes."

"Why're you calling him Demy all of a sudden?" I changed the subject suddenly. She gave me a funny kind of look, merely shrugging her shoulders.

"Just because I can. Same reason you call me Kai sometimes, it's just a different nickname."

"I suppose you're right…" I trailed off, looking out my bedroom window. "But back to the subject at hand. Did you get any information out of Dem about what's gonna happen at the party?"

"Well, everybody's going."

"Who's everybody?"

"Well obviously you, me, Sora, Riku, Selphie, and Demyx and Axel. And then I guess a bunch of Dem's friends and he said we could invite our friends."

"So like Nami and Tidus and Wakka and whoever?"

"You know that if Namine comes, Marluxia's going to follow," Kairi pointed out.

"God…I wish they would break up already," I mumbled, stretching out on my bed.

"Jealous?"

"What? No, of course not!" I denied. "I just…she's too young."

"Roxas…she's not too young if she's happy. They've been going strong for two years…trust her a little, yeah?"

"Whatever," I mumbled again, sitting up again to look out the window. Kairi sat by my side quietly for a few moments, tilting her head.

"Roxas…you can't stop everybody from taking risks just because **you** think they're unsafe. Besides, you're the one who decided to grind your skateboard along the edge of the school roof."

"That was different, I walked away with $50."

"Yeah, and a broken neck," she snorted. "And you're right, that is different. But do you know **why** it's different?"

"No, but I have a strong feeling that you're going to tell me."

"You don't fear physical pain. You don't react. But like…you're more afraid of emotional pain. You don't let people get beyond your wall."

"My what?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Your wall." Upon seeing my blank look, she began to elaborate. "Ever since your dad left, you've built up this wall around you and it makes it hard for people to get close, which is exactly what you want since you don't want to get hurt again."

"And who told you that, Dr. Phil?" I rolled my eyes, sitting up and getting off of the bed. "Seriously Kai, do you go home everyday after school and analyze me?"

"Stop being a dick, Roxas. You know it's true," she retorted, rising up from my bed as well.

"No, it's not," I argued back as we headed out of my room and down the stairs.

"Roxas," she started again but stopped as we reached the front door. "Never mind…I want you to think about what I said."

"If I say I will, will you be happy?"

"Sure will."

"Done." I opened the front door for her and she smiled just as we both heard a yelp. Poking my head out the front door with Kairi not far behind, we spotted Demyx standing on my front porch, holding his nose in his hand.

"Damn Roxas, that sorta hurt," he mumbled, shuffling into my house. Kairi giggled lightly and shrugged, taking Demyx's spot outside.

"I'm heading home. I'll see you boys later," she bid goodbye and smiled at Demyx as she descended the stairs. "Call you later, Rox!" she hollered over her shoulder before she reached the walkway, disappearing from my sight. I glanced up at Demyx and shut the front door.

"Okay, can I ask what the hell is going on with you and Kairi?" The words left my mouth before I could stop myself.

"You can; doesn't mean I have an answer," he replied, giving me a small wink.

"Doesn't mean you have an answer to what?" Sora joined the conversation as he opened the front door once again, joining us in the front hall.

"Nothing, Sor," Demyx replied, ruffling my cousin's hair lightly. "Upstairs?"

"My room?" I answered with a question, already leading the way. The other two wordlessly followed me up the stairs and back into my bedroom, Sora joining me on the bed and Demyx in my desk chair.

"So what exactly are we doing?" Sora asked, picking up a copy of Rolling Stone that I had laying on the floor.

"Planning," Demyx replied, sounding like he was chewing on something.

"Shouldn't we be practicing?" I asked, cringing once again at the sound of my own voice. Damn retainers.

"Maybe, but you can't even really talk. How're you supposed to be able to sing?" Sora brought up, raising an eyebrow. Which, by the way, doesn't suit him very well.

"Well, Demy can sing for me," I remarked.

"Um yeah…about that," Demyx interrupted. "I don't think that's a really good idea right now…"

"Why not?"

"Dem, what the hell is in your mouth?" Sora asked at the same time. Our mohawked-friend smiled and stuck out his tongue, wiggling it in our faces with a silver barbell pierced through it.

"You pierced your tongue?!" I shrieked, jaw dropping and eyes widening.

"When?!" Sora joined me in the shrieking and shocked expressions.

"Uh, Saturday. Me and Axel went and got it done 'cause he said it'd look cool and-"

"Wait! You're telling me that you pierced your tongue because Axel told you to? Demyx!" I exclaimed. I couldn't believe it. I couldn't sing due to the hunk of plastic in my mouth, and now my back-up singer couldn't sing because his tongue was the size of a shoe. Gosh!

"What? I think it's cool," he said, still with his tongue out in front of his mouth admiring the little silver bar.

"I do too," Sora agreed, smiling at Demyx. "Suits you well."

"Well great…now what?" I interrupted.

"Now what what?"

"I can't sing until I can take out my retainers, Demyx can't sing until his tongue's not swollen, and Sora, well, you just can't sing," I retorted. "That's like, two weeks of practice down the drain."

"Roxas, two weeks isn't going to kill us," Sora pointed out.

"Besides, now we can plan, just like I said," Demyx added.

"Plan for what?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Your birthday party slash the most colossal, massive, wild, bestest Halloween party of the entire year!" Demyx replied, obviously pretty excited.

"…right."

"Dem's right, Rox. We need to start planning if this is gonna be the event of the season," Sora cut in.

"…you realize that made you sound really gay, right?"

"Shut up and appreciate that we're planning a party. Anyway, Dem! What are we g-" Sora suddenly stopped and looked at me. "I'm sorry, Roxas, but you're going to have to leave."

"But it's my room!" I protested as Demyx started to pick me up and carry me out of my bedroom.

"Sorry Rox, but this is top-secret birthday-planning business!" he said cheerfully before shutting the door in my face, locking it behind me.

"Hey! That's not fair guys!" I shouted, pounding on the door with both of my fists. It unlocked then and my backpack was thrown out to me and the door snapped shut.

"It'll only take like an hour or so, Roxas. Go be productive and do your homework or something!" Sora suggested, locking the door again. I heaved a heavy sigh and shook my head, picking up my bag and heading for the stairs.

"You guys are nuts. Absolutely nuts!" I insisted as I made my way down the stairs. The only thing that greeted me was silence. I entered the living room and settled on the couch, pulling out my Law book and a piece of paper. Honestly, I did try to focus on my homework, but there was just something more interesting about what was going on up in my bedroom.

As in, everything was more interesting about what was going on up in my bedroom than my homework. Setting down my pencil, I quietly ran back up to my room, pressing my ear to the door and trying to catch the words being said.

"Music…movies…paintball…" Well that was definitely Demyx.

"No…food…cake?" And that was Sora. It was kind of annoying that I couldn't hear everything they were saying, but it was enough for me to get a hint.

"Rollerblade…piercing…condoms?"

What the fuck?

Suddenly all of the talking stopped and nothing moved in my room. Raising an eyebrow, I pressed my ear closer to the door, straining to hear something, anything. Okay wait…footsteps.

"Roxas, get away from the door!" Sora shouted, sounding very close to the door and promptly making me yelp and fall flat on my ass. I heard Demyx laugh and Sora opened the door, peering down at me. "Sorry buddy, this conversation's rated R and you're still 16. Go downstairs."

"It's my room though!"

"We're almost done, just go away," Sora replied, shutting the door in my face once more. I was tempted to try and listen in again, but not only did I hurt from falling on the floor, but it had gone quiet anyway. Guess they were waiting for me to leave. Getting to my feet, I shuffled down the hall and stomped down the stairs, flopping back on my couch. There was no way I'd get to know what was going on; I'd have to settle for waiting until my birthday. Two weeks, I could handle that.

…it was going to be a long two weeks.

* * *

To my surprise though, those two weeks went by pretty fast. In fact, I couldn't believe it when Kairi walked up to me and informed me that my birthday was the next day. 

"Are you serious?" I asked her, looking up from my pre-calc notes in disbelief.

"Yep. Tomorrow you'll be 17 and then five days later is Dem's party. Sounds like it's gonna be fun." Kairi got out of her seat as the bell rang, packing up her things and heading out of the classroom with me.

"I can't believe that October's almost over though…" I commented as we walked down the hall, melding with the crowd.

"It is. The island's got that bit of chill that comes with the fall."

"Uh, Kai? That was pretty much irrelevant."

"Oh hush you," she tapped me on the nose. "I'm glad you finally took out your stupid retainers. I can actually understand you now."

"Well I had to for two weeks straight. Now it's just at night, thank you very much."

"Well good, they were disgusting," she said, wrinkling her nose playfully.

"Well excuse me, little miss perfect," I joked back, readjusting the strap on my shoulder. "Anyway, you and me, our usual birthday ritual?"

"After school like always," she agreed with a cute little grin. "I'll bring the movies, you bring the snacks?"

"Sounds like a plan." I nodded and stopped in front of my classroom, Kairi standing in front of me.

"Great, it's a date!" she chirped and stood on her toes, giving me a quick kiss on the cheek.

…don't give me that look! She's my best friend, she's allowed to do that without dating me!

"Awesome. Get to class though, I'll see you after school," I shooed her away. She laughed at me and waved over her shoulder as she skipped off. With a smile on my face, I turned and headed into class.

"You know, if you weren't constantly denying it, I'd think that you and Kairi were an item there," a voice said from over my head.

"Hey, Axel," I said without even looking at him. The redhead was quickly becoming an everyday fixate in my life; I was just used to him looming over me during class.

"How's it goin', Shortstuff?" he asked as we walked to our seats, settling at our desks and waiting for class to begin.

"Pretty good actually."

"Oh yeah? Why's that?"

"Because," I paused, grabbing my homework out of my backpack. "Tomorrow's special."

"So I heard. Birthday huh? Yours or Kai's?" he stretched out in his chair, looking over at me.

"Mine," I answered rather proudly, realizing how retarded I really did sound.

"Right on. The big one-eight?" he grinned. I felt myself flush a bit, shifting in my seat uncomfortably.

"Uh…not exactly. You're a year off." His eyes widened briefly before returning to normal.

"You're 16?"

"I'm turning 17 tomorrow!" I squawked my protest. Jeeze, it wasn't **that** big of a surprise.

"Wow…I didn't realize you were so young," he said in awe, giving me another unreadable look.

"Yeah…Sora turned 17 two months ago." I don't know why I said that, really. It just kinda slipped out.

"…then how did you…?" he trailed off, unsure of how to finish his sentence. But I knew exactly what he was thinking. It was the same question everybody asked every time Sora or I mentioned our age.

"Why're we seniors?" I finished for him while he nodded dumbly. "Well…Sora's wicked smart. He skipped fourth grade. And me…I just started school early I guess. I don't really have a reason for being here. I just am."

"I'm sure you're smart though," he said, still looking slightly dazed.

"Mmh, I'm average actually."

"You're in AP English. Sora's not."

"That's because Sora took it last year as a junior," I informed him. True story; Sora's goal was to take every AP class that the school offered and take the test. He passed all of them; every single one.

…yeah I don't even want to talk about how jealous I am.

"Wow…well…oh well. Think of it this way, Roxas. If you hadn't taken AP English this year, you wouldn't have been with me!" he smiled widely.

"Oh the tragedy," I said dryly. He frowned slightly and tapped me on the nose with his pencil.

"Hey now, be nice. You might not get your present that way."

"Present?" I immediately stopped bashing on him and looked up expectantly. "Present?" I repeated.

"Present. Well, what I hope will be an acceptable present," Axel replied, reaching into his pocket.

"Depends, what is it?" I grinned, waiting not-so-patiently.

"Well…I know how much you like music," he started out, pulling out a white envelope.

"Right…" I nodded, somewhat suspicious of what the redhead was going to say.

"And well, I had tickets to this underground show…it's not even underground, but it's from a band that's aiming for a major label. Anyway, my friend was supposed to go with me but he backed out and you know, I'd hate to put a good ticket to waste." He pulled out a ticket from the envelope and dropped it onto my desk.

"Panic! At The Disco?" I read off of the ticket, raising my eyes to meet his again.

"Yeah. I've heard them play a few times before, I think you'd like them. So, what do you say?" he asked, giving me this hopeful look. I glanced down at the ticket again, weighing my options.

"What time does the show start?" I asked.

"Like, seven or something. But it's over in Twilight Town…I'm not sure if you know where that is…"

"I used to live there!" I exclaimed. "I know exactly where it is!"

"Well, good." Axel smiled and shook his head. "Basically, it's four hours away, but we should probably get there like an hour early so that means leaving here about four, but we're going to want time in case we want food so I'm thinking we leave right after school. Sound fair?"

Mmh. Let's see now; free concert ticket, free trip to Twilight Town, with Axel.

"Yeah, sounds great," I said, reaching for the ticket. Axel obviously had a different idea since he slammed his hand down on my desk and swiped my ticket.

"Not so fast," he taunted me, slipping the ticket into his own pocket. "I'm holding onto the tickets to make sure you actually come with me."

"What, you think I'd go by myself?" I gave him a skeptical look.

"Well Roxas, to tell you the truth, I don't know **what** you'd do," he mumbled under his breath, but I heard him anyway.

"Hey wait, what's that supposed to mean?" I demanded, giving him another look. He returned it with an awkward little smile.

"Nothing…it just means that you're kind of one of those unpredictable people." He shrugged.

"…is that bad?"

"Not always. But it doesn't matter." He waved it off, his normal charming grin returning to his features. "So do you just want to come home with me after school and then we'll go from there?"

"Um…sure," I agreed.

"Great, then we're all set." He smiled again and the bell rang, Teitzel entered the classroom, and we stopped talking. Of course, now I wasn't going to be able to focus on the lesson but honestly, who would after hearing all of that? I didn't really know what to think though, it was all a big blur to me. I did know one thing though. It was a date. With Axel. On my 17th birthday.

Well, worse things could have happened.

* * *

After school, Kairi found me at my locker and immediately started chattering about…okay, I'm going to be honest and say that I wasn't really listening to a single word she said. Can you blame me though? I was still fixated on what tomorrow would bring. 

Kairi didn't seem to notice though; she just continued having her one-sided conversation as we drove home. While she rambled about…Selphie I think (I guess, I don't know), I focused on Kairi herself. What was I supposed to tell her? There was no way I was going to flat-out say that I had a date for tomorrow; firstly because, well, she probably wouldn't believe me and secondly, once she did believe me she'd tease me mercilessly. That's when I decided that I just wasn't going to tell her at all. It'd be easier on both of us this way.

"So tomorrow after school right?" she asked me as I pulled up to her house, looking at me curiously. I opened my mouth to tell her I couldn't make it, that I had to do other things, anything. But it was then that I remembered; I can never lie to Kairi. No matter how many times I've tried, I've never been able to lie to her face.

"Um…yeah, after school," I echoed. She smiled at me and climbed out of my car, grabbing her bag from the floor.

"Awesome. I'll call you tonight probably and we can plan, kay?"

"Sounds great," I answered, my own voice sounding kind of hollow.

"Kay, see ya later, Roxy!" she bid me goodbye and slammed the car door shut, heading up her front walk to her house. As soon as she closed her front door, I put my car into reverse and drove out of her driveway, turning around and driving straight into town toward the mall. Glancing at the clock, I realized that it was about 3:30. Perfect timing. I parked in front of the mall and walked inside, making my way to a store called Invincible. I looked around the shop, smiling when I found my target and heading toward her, draping my arms over her shoulders.

"Hey baby, think you can help a boy out? I'll make it worth your while," I drawled out, laughing slightly as she jumped. She looked behind herself at my face and laughed.

"Hey Roxas, how are you?" Olette asked, briefly hugging me before returning to folding shirts. Olette and I have been friends since sophomore year of high school. I met her through one of my other friends, actually. She got a job at Invincible during the summer, which actually worked out to my benefit.

"I'm pretty good actually," I said truthfully. "How about you? I haven't seen you at all this year."

"I've been busy…school, job, all that fun stuff," she replied, tidying up the display she was working on. Olette's a hard worker; she's always working for a goal and uses her time wisely, so I wasn't too surprised by her answer.

"Sounds great." I nodded, allowing my eyes to drift over to another mannequin. She followed my gaze, a small smile playing on her lips.

"All right, you, what's the special occasion?"

"Huh?" I blinked in surprise. "What makes you think there's a special occasion going on?"

"For one thing, you're **always** with Kairi when you go shopping. Secondly, you're really fidgety." Damn you Olette for being so observant. Well, no turning back now.

"Okay…you're right, but promise you won't tell anybody anything," I said sternly.

"Ooh, big secret huh? What, do you have a hot date or something?"

Something like that, yeah.

"Well, tomorrow-"

"Is your birthday!" Olette suddenly interrupted me. "Oh my gosh, Roxas, I almost completely forgot!" She exclaimed.

"Olette it's fine," I brushed it off. "Thanks though. Anyway, tomorrow I'm going to this concert and uh…I don't really have anything good to wear. Think you can help me out?"

"Why didn't you just bring Kairi along?" she questioned as she grabbed my hand and led me toward the guys' section.

"Um well…you know, she was busy," I replied, standing still while Olette started to hold things up against me. I really didn't want to tell her that Kairi wasn't with me because Kairi didn't know. They're friends too, they could easily discuss things without me.

"Makes sense." She nodded and shoved me toward the dressing room. "I'll go pick out some stuff I want you to try, you stay here."

"Olette!" I started to protest as the door was shut in my face, locking me in. With a small sigh, I sat on the little bench and waited. About ten minutes later the door opened, revealing Olette weighed down by several shirts and pairs of pants.

"Okay babe, try these on." She dropped them on the bench next to me.

"All of them?" I stood up, staring at the pile in disbelief.

"Well, yeah. If it helps, try on the pants first. I'll wait outside the door, but I want to see them on you." She opened the door and walked outside.

"You're kidding me!"

"Hey, you asked for my help, Rox. My opinion comes with it!" she giggled and shut the door, leaning against the wall opposite of it. I frowned a bit and pawed through the seven pairs of jeans she brought me. I realized I was wasting time and stripped out of my old jeans, tossing them carelessly onto the floor and picking up a pair, sliding into them. Literally, I slid into them, they were freakin' huge!

"Olette! These are way too big!" I hollered out to her, trying not to trip on the bottom of the jeans.

"So try on a different pair," she suggested. I turned and sorted through the rest of the pile, shortly discovering that the next five pairs were also too big for me. However, there was still a pair left. Without hesitation, I snagged them and stepped out of the ones I was wearing, pulling on the pair in my hands. Actually, they didn't feel too bad. A little tight, but not enough to feel uncomfortable. I looked at myself in the mirror, turning at all different angles to get a better look.

"Roxas? Let me see," Olette spoke from outside of the room. I opened the dressing room door and walked out, earning a whistle of approval from my brunette friend. "Roxas, you're a total stud! I love them!" she praised me, walking closer and turning me around. "They look awesome!"

"They're kinda tight…are you sure?"

"Sure I'm sure. Go try on some of the shirts." She ushered me back into the dressing room, this time following me.

"Hey, hey, hey, what are you doing?" I squawked as she settled on the bench next to the shirts, beginning to fold the jeans I'd thrown all over the room.

"Being productive so that I won't get fired. Besides, it's not like I haven't seen you shirtless before. Need I remind you of the summer before junior year?" she said, looking at me curiously.

Okay…yeah, I didn't exactly introduce Olette properly. Let me start over. This is Olette, my ex-girlfriend. I don't really count it as a relationship though, we dated over the summer before junior year and well, things just didn't work out. Not enough chemistry for me I guess. She told me that she liked me as a friend rather than a boyfriend anyway. Either way, nothing changed between us since then and now, other than the fact that we don't fool around or anything.

"Fine, fine. Just don't make fun of me for being scrawny," I grumbled, pulling my shirt off and grabbing another green one.

"Who said you were scrawny to begin with?" she asked me, looking over the shirt I was wearing. "Green's not your color."

"Some guy," I replied, grabbing for the blue one in the pile.

"Yeah, that's real descriptive."

"Well seriously, it didn't matter to me that much."

"Yeah, and that's why you just told me not to make fun of you," she teased. "And try the next shirt." Rolling my eyes, I did as she said.

"Okay so maybe it did bother me a little, but it's in the past, whatever," I rationalized, slipping the black t-shirt over my head. Olette opened her mouth to answer but let out a squeal instead.

"That shirt is **so** you!" It was black (which didn't surprise me, I look hot in black) with white graffiti all over the front in the shape of scribbles, musical notes, guitars, and speakers with the words "Do Your Music" amongst the entire mess.

"…I like it," I agreed, smiling slightly as I looked between the mirror and Olette. "Nice job." I started changing back into my own clothes, not really bothered that Olette was still in the dressing room with me.

"Don't you want to try on the other shirts?" she asked me in slight bewilderment.

"Nope, that's definitely the one I want." I opened the dressing room door, dropping all of the rejects into the barrel on the side.

"Okay then, give them to me," she instructed, plucking the jeans and shirt out of my hand.

"But-" I didn't get another word in as she walked around to the counter, adding up the amounts.

"Okay that'll be $40.23." She pressed a few more numbers and reached for her purse under the counter, pulling out $25. She took a small bit of change and dropped it into her purse, handing the receipt to me. "And this is where you can say 'thank you, Olette!'" She grinned.

"…did you just…?" I gave her a questioning look.

"Think of it as a birthday present at a 40 discount."

"You're incredible, Lette. Just flat-out incredible." I took the bag out of her hand and shoved the receipt into my pocket.

"Yeah, I know." She grinned again. "You go have fun tomorrow."

"Oh, I will." And with that I hugged her once more and made my way out of the shop, heading back to my car. I looked in the bag one more time, admiring my new clothes.

So basically: I had a date with Axel the next day, it involved an Indie band, and I was pretty much going to be the hottest thing on two legs. What could possibly go wrong?

* * *

Well as it turned out, there were going to be a lot of problems with the whole plan. First of all; there was no way I was going to wear my concert clothes to school, mainly because I didn't want to attract too much attention and I didn't want to get them dirty. Secondly, it **was** my 17th birthday. I attracted attention even though I didn't want it. 

"Happy birthday, Roxas!" Selphie tackled me as soon as she spotted me, clinging to me.

"Uh, thanks, Sel," I replied, head spinning from the sudden attack. Kairi grinned and draped her arms over my shoulder, looking up at me.

"So basically I picked up our movies for tonight," she said to me.

"What movies?" Sora popped up out of nowhere. He does that a lot, scares the shit out of me each and every time too.

"Movies for me and Rox."

"Birthday tradition?"

"Yep!" Kairi practically beamed.

"Actually…" I interrupted. "There's something I should probably tell you."

"…which is?" Kairi raised an eyebrow.

"I…can't exactly make it. I'm sort of busy." I shifted in place, praying Kairi didn't get me to crack.

"With what?" she pressed on.

"Just stupid stuff. I'll come over as soon as I can though," I offered, not bothering to mention that that probably wouldn't be until my birthday was **over**.

"Um…sure." She nodded and the bell rang. "Well, we better go, class starts in five."

"I'll meet you there," I said to her, continuing to shuffle things around in my locker.

"Okay…c'mon, Sel," she said to the bouncy brunette, linking their arms and walking away down the hall. I let out a small sigh and finished grabbing what I would need for class, shutting the locker firmly.

"So, what better thing do you have to do besides hang out with your best friend?" I jumped in surprise as Sora popped up behind me.

"God, don't scare me like that!" I scolded him, ignoring his entire question.

"Sorry." He shrugged and the two of us headed off to class. "That doesn't answer my question though."

"What question?" I tried to stall for as long as I could.

"What do you have to do that's better than hanging out with Kai?" he repeated. I gave him an innocent look.

"Nothing, I told you, I'm just sort of busy."

"Yeah right. You know that's a lie as much as I do," he called me on my bluff. I stopped him outside of his classroom, pinning him to the wall.

"Promise to keep it a secret?" I looked him in the eye.

"Sure thing."

"Well…I'm kind of going to a concert…" I started off.

"Where?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Twilight Town," I muttered in reply.

"Roxas, that's four hours away!"

"Shh! Trust me, I know what I'm doing. One of my friends is taking me."

"Who?" he gave me a skeptical look.

"Does that part really matter?"

"Well no but…"

"But nothing. Just, trust me okay? It'll all work out." I let go of him, smiling calmly. "Just remember, keep your mouth shut." And with that, I turned around and left, heading for my first period class fully prepared to enjoy my day.

* * *

Only, you know, I didn't really get to enjoy my day. Seriously, I was so racked up with nerves it took all of my willpower not to squirm around every ten seconds. But, I really didn't know which I was more nervous about; going to the concert with Axel, or Kairi finding out. I didn't think I was going to make it to sixth period, but I did, only to find that my nerves got 20 times worse. 

"Hey birthday boy, happy birthday," Axel greeted me, looking up at me from his desk. I forced myself to smile and sit at my own desk, turning to face him.

"Thanks…"

"So, are you going to be ready to go right after school's over?" he asked me, completely calm and relaxed, unlike me who was about to shoot out of my chair and run. Okay so maybe that was an exaggeration, but still.

"I guess…I kinda wanna drop my car off at my house first though."

"We can do that. I can just follow you home and then we'll go from there okay?"

"Um…yeah," I agreed and the bell rang, thankfully ending the conversation. The entire period, I didn't focus on anything Teitzel said, but rather about what I was going to do. I mean…anything could happen and this was pretty much a date right? What if he tried to kiss me? I wasn't prepared for that kind of thing!

…well, I mean, it's not like I really wanted him to kiss me anyway. I'm just saying…

Either way, I couldn't help but give him the once-over. Knowing Axel, he wasn't going to change clothes or anything before we left for Twilight Town. Besides, jeans, a t-shirt, and beat-up sneakers were suitable enough.

That just meant that I was going to look better than he did.

I guess I really had zoned out though because by the time I finally came back to reality, everybody was packing up their stuff and leaving. That meant school was over, and that meant that Axel and I were leaving right now.

"Hey, Rox, you ready?" he asked, already standing and waiting for me by the door. I quickly shoved the rest of my stuff into my bag and practically tripped out of my desk, catching up to him.

"So uh…I'm just driving home and we're taking your car to the ferry station and then taking the car **on** the ferry to take to the main land?" He kind of laughed at me as we left the room, heading for my locker.

"Something like that…" he replied, waiting for me to grab my stuff out of my locker. Not that I'd really end up doing my homework that night anyway, I was going to be way too tired by the time I got back. Shutting my locker, I beckoned Axel to follow me out to the parking lot and to my car.

"Okay well…go ahead and follow me. I have to drop my stuff off inside and stuff," I instructed him, unlocking my car and getting in.

"Will do," was the last thing I heard before I shut the door, starting my car and pulling out of the parking lot. On the bright side, Sora was taking Kairi home, so I had that much extra time. I arrived at my house about a split-second before Axel did, parking my car out front and running inside, quickly dropping my bag on the floor and changing clothes, grabbing my wallet and keys as I flew back out the door. Without a second thought, I jumped into his car and shut the door, making sure to buckle up. Who knew how Axel's driving was? He didn't start moving right away though. I glanced up at him and gave him a curious look. He seemed to be staring at something behind me. It was only after I looked over my shoulder and made an idiot of myself did I realize that he was looking at **me**.

"Wow…" was all he said.

"What?" I shifted uncomfortably. Sometimes wow was a bad thing.

"You look good," he complimented me and put the car in drive, heading out down the street. And that was all he said about it; no making fun of me for changing my clothes, no stupid jokes, nothing.

That just made me like him more.

We drove in silence for a short while until we reached the ferry station, driving the car up onto a different compartment of the boat and paying for our tickets, departing only a few minutes after that. Sure, the view of the water was pretty and all, but the silence was definitely killing me though. Looking up at Axel again, I saw that he too was watching the water, staring at it almost in admiration.

"…had you ever see the ocean before?" Yeah, lame opening line, I know. But that was all that I had, really. He blinked and looked away from the rolling waves under the boat, locking his green eyes onto mine.

"Nope, can't say that I have." He grinned and leaned against the railing, now facing me entirely.

"Ever?"

"Nah. My hometown was too far away from the ocean to really ever have a chance to go see it."

"…that sucks."

"I guess."

"What was it like?" He tilted his head and looked at me.

"What was what like?" he asked.

"Your hometown." He leaned against the railing, closing his eyes.

"It was really dark and rainy all the time, kind of like Seattle."

"What's Seattle?"

"A city in the States."

"Oh."

"Yeah…anyway, everybody kind of kept to themselves a lot, and you could hardly tell who was who since everybody always had umbrellas or their hoods up."

"You guys never got sunshine?"

"Heh, hardly," he replied, opening his eyes and looking at me. "Like I said, it was always rainy and gloomy. If we ever did get sun, it was very little and very rare."

"So why'd you move?" I asked without even thinking. He chuckled briefly, shaking his head.

"What, you think I wanted to stay there? I prefer the sunlight and…not-so-much rain thanks very much. Change of scenery you know?"

"…and what about your parents?"

"They were okay with it," he answered right away. Before I could ask him any more questions, the ferry pulled into dock to the mainland. "Come on, let's go get my car and get out of here." He grabbed my forearm and tugged me toward the place we parked the car. Once again, we were both in his car and he drove off of the ferry, pulling out onto the main road to Twilight Town.

Four hours in a car. You thought that would have been awkward since it was me and Axel but it really wasn't. I mean…four hours gave us the chance to talk without worrying about anything else. Plus, he was the one driving, not me. I just got to sit there and talk.

In those four hours he told me a lot, most of which I don't really remember because he was telling me everything so quickly, but I do remember that he said his favorite color was blood red, he likes pretty much all types of foods but he's allergic to peanuts, he used to smoke cigarettes, and the slogan for the Skittles candies amused him a lot. Maybe I only remembered because they were so random. Oh yeah, and he loved New Years and Fourth of July the best because of the fireworks. Pyromaniac you see.

We were running kind of late, so after a quick stop at a drive-thru, we headed straight to the building the concert was going to be held. Cars were already lined up and the parking lots were filling up fast.

"I thought you said this was an underground band?" I asked him as we drove around, looking for somewhere to park.

"I did…but this is also a pretty popular club. I thought you said you used to live here?" he countered, heading down another street.

"Yeah, when I was little. I moved when I was nine," I retorted. Axel sighed and shook his head in mock-fashion, finally turning around and pulling into the alley of the club.

"Right. Anyway, let's get going." He got out of the car and waited for me to do the same, locking it and safely putting the keys in his pocket. Handing me my ticket, we jumped into line with everybody else. About oh…I'd say half an hour later, we finally got into the club just as the band was setting up.

"C'mon, we can get further inside this way," Axel said and suddenly grabbed my hand, holding onto it tightly and pulling me through the crowd of people.

Was it normal to feel a shock of electricity jolt through your body when somebody held your hand? For a feeling of warmth to start pumping through your veins as the other person's hand tightened around yours, feeling smooth and gentle? I didn't think so, but that's what happened. Axel and I finally stopped about 15 feet away from the stage platform, looking up at the band. They were finally ready to start. This brunet guy held stood in front of the microphone, looking out at the crowd as his guitarist and bassist tuned up, the drummer behind him tapping a few beats.

"Hey, we're Panic! at the Disco and we're gonna play a few songs for you tonight. This one's called 'The Only Difference Between Martyrdom and Suicide Is Press Coverage'," he introduced and starting singing a tune that was kinda repetitive, but catchy nonetheless. It was enough to catch my attention at least. Me being me, I watched the bassist like a hawk, watching his fingers slide up and down between the different chords and frets. I looked up at Axel who was merely bobbing his head to the music. So I promptly poked him in the side.

"Ow, what?" he asked, looking down at me.

"You're not dancing," I said, pointing to the crowd around us dancing to the music.

"Yeah…that's another thing. I don't really dance."

"…you brought me to a club and you don't even dance?"

"You got it."

"Axel c'mon…not even a little?"

"Roxas. I don't dance. Got it memorized?" he gave me a pointed look, you know, one of those looks that clearly says 'hey if you don't drop the subject right now I'm gonna fuck you up'. So that's what I did, drop the subject.

"Fine; since you don't dance, I'll go find somebody else who does. See ya." I shrugged and turned around with every intention of walking about ten feet. I didn't even get two feet before Axel grabbed my shoulder, pulling me back toward him.

"No, don't do that," he said, pulling me even closer until I was standing at his side once again.

"Hmm? What is it?" I asked him.

"…first of all, that'd be pretty stupid of you to go lose yourself in a crowd, especially around these kinds of people and when I'm your ride home. Secondly, **I **don't want to stay by myself."

"Yeah, but I wanna dance…" I argued, looking up at him. He made a small whining noise and looked rather defeated, shoulders slumping down.

"**Fine**, you win. I'll dance…only a little bit though!" he quickly added, letting go of my shoulder.

"Good." I couldn't help but smile up at him as the band started in on a new song called "London Beckoned Songs About Money By Machines".

"Like I said, only a little bit though," he repeated himself and started dancing along with the rest of the club, and me of course. But I guess Axel's idea of a little bit was a little obscured because he kept dancing through "Nails for Breakfast, Tacks for Snacks", "Camisado", "It's Time To Dance", "But It's Better If You Do", and "I Write Sins, Not Tragedies". I don't know how much time had passed by, but it only seemed like a few minutes before the band announced that it was their last song of the evening. By then, both Axel and I were a little tired and resorted back to just sort of swaying with the music. The band played their last note and the brunet lead singer said the band's goodbyes, causing a bunch of people to start cheering and sit down.

Axel once again grabbed my hand, only this time, it was me who held on tight as we made our way out of the club, heading to the alley toward his car.

Of course, we weren't expecting two boys to be making out on the hood of his car when we got there.

"Um…hey," Axel said, letting go of my hand and walking up toward them. "Can you kind of get off of my car?" The boy on top jumped suddenly, causing both of them to roll off of the car and onto the ground. "Thanks!" Axel said cheerfully and unlocked his car. "Get in, Rox." I slid into the passenger's seat and he closed the door of the driver's side, starting up the engine and backing up, shining his headlights on the two boys on the ground. He suddenly stopped and leaned out the window, looking toward them.

"Hey. Maybe you should go find a car that hasn't moved yet, huh?" He winked and rolled up the window, backing out onto the street and pulling off to the main road.

"…that was…a little weird," I said awkwardly, looking at him in the dark of the car.

"Eh, just a couple of kids having fun. No harm done." He shrugged and continued driving.

"You didn't mind?"

"Which part? That they were kissing on my car? Or that they were both boys?"

"Um…both?"

"No, to both of those. Well…I lied, I do kind of care that they were on **my **car, but nothing I can do about it."

Huh. So he wasn't bothered by homosexuals. This was good.

"Oh," I replied lamely, eyes flicking to the clock. The digital green numbers read that it was about 10:30pm. "We're going to be getting home kind of late, aren't we?"

"About 1:30 or 2 in the morning. That a problem?"

"…nah. I can live." I nodded and shivered slightly, curling up a little in my seat.

"Cold?" Axel asked, glancing over at me.

"A little yeah…but I didn't grab a jacket or anything because I didn't think it'd be this cold out," I replied.

"Roxas, it's nearly November."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," I mumbled. He was quiet for a moment, fixated on the road.

"…you can wear my jacket? It should be in the backseat," he offered. I sat up and turned around, looking in the backseat of the mustang.

"Is it long and black?" I asked over my shoulder.

"Yeah, that's it." I seized the coat and sat back up, unbuckling my seatbelt and hurriedly putting on the jacket. Right away I was enveloped in warmth. It was like a long black trench coat with a big hood and insulated for warmth.

"Thanks…" I said, buckling up my seatbelt and curling up again, all but snuggling into the coat.

"No issues." He replied, continuing to drive. I shifted again in my seat, curling up further. There was an important factor that I had forgotten about when it came to long road trips.

I tend to get car sick. Fabulous, isn't it? I guess it wasn't really getting to me because talking to Axel kept me distracted and I didn't have food in my stomach. But now I did and Axel was more focused on driving.

"Sleepy?" he asked me after a period of silence. I guess he noticed that I wasn't really talkative at the moment.

"Yeah…kinda." And it wasn't a lie. I **was** tired from the trip and the music and the dancing and just…everything. Not that I really minded; I had a blast. But I did feel a little guilty for not talking to Axel anymore.

"So go to sleep. We're still about three and a half hours away from the ferry and then another half an hour away from home," he informed me.

"You sure you won't mind?" I asked hesitantly.

"Of course not. I can just turn on the radio and you can sleep, problem solved." He reached over and pressed a button, turning on his radio to a rock station of some sort.

"If you say so…" I trailed off, leaning my head against the window and closing my eyes. I really didn't plan on falling asleep, but I was exhausted, not just from the events of the day, but also because I didn't sleep a lot the night before. I was too…anxious? Excited? Something like that. It also didn't help that Axel's coat was extremely warm and cozy. The last thing I remember was Axel tapping his fingers on the steering wheel in time to the song on the radio and the car pulling onto the highway.

* * *

"Roxas…Roxas, wake up." Somebody was whispering in my ear and shaking my shoulder, I knew that, but I really wasn't ready to wake up yet. 

"Mmh…"

"Roxas!" That time I woke up, jolting up in my seat and looking around. We were parked about two streets away from my house, Axel hovering over me and me still wearing his coat.

"…when did we…?"

"You slept the entire way here. You were kind of awake when we first got on the ferry, but you went right back to sleep. But we're here!" he smiled and pulled back, leaning in his own seat. "I remembered you said to park down here so you didn't wake up anybody at your house."

"What time is it?" I blinked sleepily, trying to clear my head.

"About 1:45am."

"Wow…" I sat all the way up, stretching out a bit. "Um…thanks for everything. I had a lot of fun, you know?" I said, cringing at how dorky I really sounded. Axel merely smiled and ruffled my hair a bit.

"Yeah, me too. You should probably get inside though…" he trailed off, pulling his hand back slowly. I nodded in response and opened the car door, unbuckling my seatbelt and getting out of the car, closing the door as Axel rolled down the window.

"Oh, your jacket!" I suddenly remembered, moving to take it off. He waved his hand and shrugged.

"You keep it. You can always give it back to me later, huh?"

"…yeah." I nodded and gave him a smile. "I'll see you tomorrow in class."

"Sure thing." He smiled back and nodded as well. I moved to walk toward my house, but he spoke again. "Hey Roxas?"

"Yeah?"

"…you're really amazing," he said and smiled again, putting the car in drive and pulling away from the curb, heading back to Demyx's house and leaving me standing in my driveway blinking in surprise.

"Amazing huh?" I couldn't help but smile again. "I could definitely live with that." I started walking down the street, already hunting through my pockets for my keys. I didn't get very far, only about halfway down the first street before I heard my phone ring.

"Who the hell would be calling me at 2am?" I murmured before I opened my phone, answering it. "Hello?" I answered, looking up and noticing a light out of the corner of my eye.

"Look up," Kairi said to me firmly. Confused, I turned my head, coming face-to-face with Kairi's house. I looked up to the second floor window, the one on the far right and noticing that it was lit and Kairi was standing at her window, glaring down at me.

"You have a **lot** of explaining to do," she told me before promptly hanging up. She leaned over and shut out her light, also slamming the window shut.

Somehow…I had a feeling that tomorrow wasn't going to be as great.

* * *

I know, I know. I'm **so** sorry! College got the better of me, so I've been busy with friends and homework and studying and work and all sorts of stuff. But the end of first semester is near, so viva la fanfiction! I'm so sorry for the wait though you guys, seriously. 

Thanks to: **Kerori**, derivative, **Hakumei Mikomi**, Lily Vendrem, **Totally-Out-Of-It, **Deaths pet fox, **Tama-Kitsune**, Darkness-Heart,** mentaru**, Dualism, **blockofthewritingkind, **123, **Naughty-Sensei**, Meine Liebe, **Axel-fiery-gurl,** SeraphOfMortality, **DashAway**, black vapor, **K-Gforever,** Astrazoxity, **I'm too lazy for a witty name,** JJ CJ, **Sakiya Mystery,** InuAngel788, **Heir to the World, **Lady of the Cards, **tiduskazurakitesora**, Emu, **Eienakari, **NekoJaimie, **I'm.Gay.So.Deal.With.It, **Shiguna, **Udyjay**, Saori Aki Orimi, **living beauty,** Trowa, **FiresideChild, **kryyoukai, **keysintertwinedabondofflame,** mai, **Luxana101,** Raine Mizuki, **Nothing you Need to worry bout,** Ali12oop, **Revalations, **Ranchdressing, **Kiaran Dryaalis, **Rai the Catalyst, **Katringa, **45428752, **Lyrical-Luff, **DestinyEntwinements, **AkuRoku-fangirl,** SetsuntaMew, **Veritas4Eternity,** Soul Writer Of Dark Truth, **Ladyameena22, **Jequila, and **Stealthe-Chan.**

59 awesome reviews. Thank you so much you guys, you're all freakin' amazing. Anyway, hope you enjoyed this chapter and stuff!

Also, thanks to April for editing this for me. Thank you, love!

And note; I do not own any of the bands listed. Nor do I own the Post-Its company. Thank you.


	6. I Know I Shouldn't Take It But I Like It

**Chapter Six**

_I Know I Shouldn't Take It But I Think I Kinda Like It_

* * *

There is no greater evil than a woman's wrath. Okay, I know that's not how the quote exactly goes but you know what? I'm 17; I'm allowed to screw up stuff. Point is, though I would never admit this in person, Kairi really does freak me out when she's mad. It's even worse when she's pms-ing. Now that Kairi knew that something was up, I had an even bigger mess to clean up.

* * *

After a pretty much sleepless night, I dragged myself out of bed the day after my birthday, half-assing my way through my morning routine and got in my car to pick up Kairi. Arriving in front of the Harada house, I tapped on the steering wheel nervously, anxiously awaiting for Kairi to get into my car and explode at me. 

But when she did get in the car, she did the exact opposite.

"Uh…morning, Kai," I greeted her nervously, pulling out of her driveway. I was met with silence.

"Cute skirt," I tried complimenting here. More silence.

"Man, that pre-calc test yesterday was hard huh?" And again, more silence. I let out a small sigh and continued driving until I reached the school, parking in my usual spot. "Look Kairi-" She didn't let me finish though as she opened the car door and grabbed her bag, slamming the door after she got out. I scrambled after her, nearly locking my keys in the car and slamming the door on my fingers.

"Are you ignoring me on purpose?" I finally asked her as we walked up to the main doors. She gave me a sideways glance, narrowing her blue eyes a bit before looking forward and going through one of the doors, not even bothering to hold it open for me. But of course, I followed after her anyway, catching up to her side.

"Kairi come on, talk to me! Please?" I practically begged her. She raised an eyebrow at me before rolling her eyes, promptly turning and walking into the girls' bathroom, leaving me on the outside.

"Harsh dude," Sora said from behind me. Wordlessly, I turned around and headed for my locker, Sora right on my tail.

"Okay Sor, tell me how mad she is," I sighed, opening my locker and grabbing my stuff.

" Mad? Oh she's not mad," he said airily.

"Oh thank god."

"She's furious." He smiled widely.

"Are you kidding me?"

"Nah, you're pretty much screwed for now. What time did you even get home last night?"

"Like…two?"

"Damn," Sora whistled lowly as we began walking down the hall toward class.

"My question is, how did Kairi figure out I wasn't home? My car was in the driveway and everything."

"She came into the house."

"Oh." Yeah, I did feel like an ass after that, in case you were wondering.

"Basically she said she was more disappointed that you lied to her rather than angry that you bailed on her. So really, you have a lot of ass-kissing to do, ala Kairi." Sora grinned and waved me off, disappearing into his first period class. That meant I was left alone to go face Kairi in **our** first period class. Heading down the hallway, I walked into our annual staff office, setting my bag down and waiting for Kairi to turn up. Two minutes before class started and three after the warning bell rang, she turned up, silently walking to the front of the room, waiting for the final bell to ring so that she could make announcements. After the bell rang and our class president made morning announcements, Kairi gathered our attention and gave out daily assignments, sending everybody off to work. I turned to my computer and pulled up my layout page. Kairi had given me the activities page.

It wasn't long until I felt a presence looming over my shoulder. Looking up, I spotted Kairi examining my work, nodding slightly.

"Nice job," she said stiffly, turning around to walk away.

"Kairi, wait a second," I called after her, stopping her in her path.

"What?"

"Look, I know you're mad at me, but can I at least explain myself?" I asked. She looked down at me, folding her arms over her chest and continuing to glare.

"You better have a good explanation," she muttered, pulling up a chair and sitting beside me. I swiveled in my chair and leaned closer to her, bringing my lips up to her ear and whispering.

"I had a date with Axel." She pulled back and gasped loudly, followed by a small squeal.

"You **what?**"

"Shh! Keep it down." I covered her mouth with my hand. She immediately batted my hand away, squealing again and practically clinging to my arm.

Talk about mood swings.

"Roxas, you have to tell me everything! And that brings up, why didn't you just tell me that to begin with?"

"Uh, because I knew you'd make a big deal about it?"

"Hmm, like I'm not going to make a big deal about it now," she snorted, eyes lighting up again. "So what happened? Details, man, details!"

"All right, all right!" I wrenched my arm away and leaned back in my chair. "So basically, we went to Twilight Town an-"

"He took you to Twilight Town?!"

"You know…if you don't stop interrupting me, I'm not going to tell you the story." That immediately shut her up.

"Go on then."

"Anyway…we went to Twilight Town for this concert…some indie band at a club. Pretty decent music, it was a lot of fun."

"And the kissing?" she asked, giving me a small wink.

"…didn't happen."

"What? Roxas! It's not a date if you didn't kiss," she pointed out.

"Um, it was just the two of us, we did dinner and a concert **four hours away. **What more does there need to be?" I replied, turning back to the computer to work on my layout.

"It's not a date if you didn't kiss."

"So says you," I snorted. She rolled her eyes and got up from her chair.

"Fine, fine, fine. For your sake, we'll pretend it was a date. You had a lot of fun, right?"

"Sure did."

"Did you get carsick?"

"A little, but not enough for him to notice."

"Good, because puking on a date, or even worse, **on** your date, would be less than attractive."

"Gee, thank you, Kairi," I snickered, earning a swat behind the head.

"You know what I mean, butthead. Oh, and you totally owe me a movie night now."

"Did you just call me a butthead?" I raised an eyebrow.

"So?"

"…whatever. Anyway, I figured as much. Besides, I never said I wasn't going to give you one anyway."

"It can be after Demy's Halloween party!" she smiled and patted me on the shoulder. "I have to look productive and you do too. We'll talk about this later, kay?"

"Sure thing." I nodded and returned to work. Well, I pretended to anyway. I really couldn't focus on what I was supposed to be doing, and really, it was Kairi's fault. She was right.

It wasn't a "real" date if we didn't kiss, I guess.

So what did that mean? Did that mean that we were hanging out as friends? As more than friends? What? I hated not knowing, but I really didn't have anybody to ask other than Kairi, and I already had her answer. Besides, there was no way I was going to walk up to Axel and ask **him**. That'd just be pushing my luck further.

Nope, the only thing I could do now was continue to copy and paste pictures, waiting for the bell to ring.

* * *

I was pretty off for the whole day actually, and I have a feeling that my friends could tell. Especially when they kept asking me 'Roxas, are you okay? You seem out of it'. And of course I couldn't answer with anything but a yes because nobody needed to know about what happened last night. Nobody needed to know that I went out of town with somebody who I still liked to pretend that I didn't like. Nobody needed to know that I had butterflies in my stomach for most of the ride there. Nobody needed to know that I thought he was drop-dead sexy. 

Nobody except Kairi, that is.

We had decided that since I missed our movie night the previous night, I was just going to spend the night at Kairi's to make up for it instead of waiting until after Demyx's Halloween party. Of course, I waited until we were upstairs in her room with the door shut before I even started talking.

"Okay so maybe you were right." She looked up from her DVD collection and looked at me.

"About what?" she asked me, looking back down again.

"The date thing. Maybe it wasn't a date because we didn't kiss. But I mean…it **felt** like a date. Doesn't that count as anything?"

"Well," she paused for a moment, not really sure what to say.

"Well?"

"A date kinda has to have both people agree that it's a date, don't you think?" she reasoned as she put "Road Trip" into the DVD player.

"Well yeah I guess but…how am I supposed to know that? I can't exactly ask him, right?"

"No…" she paused again. "But I can!" she exclaimed cheerfully, immediately diving for my cell phone.

"Kairi no…Kairi!" I pulled the phone out of her reach and scrambled away. Didn't help me much since she just pounced on me, pinning me to the floor.

"Roxas, just let me ask!" She pulled on my phone.

"No! You're going to ruin everything!" I tugged back, determined not to let go.

"I will not!" Pull.

"Yes you will!" Tug.

"I haven't so far!" Pull.

"I never asked you to meddle with it though!" Tug.

"Too bad, it's helping!" Pull.

"Kairi, give me my phone!" Tug.

"Fine!" And she let go, catching me off-guard and causing me to lose my grip on the phone. The poor little phone flew over my head and hit the wall with a sickening crack. Scared to turn around, I cautiously peeked over my shoulder to see my flip phone had snapped in half. Turning back to Kairi and glaring daggers at her, I grabbed her by the shoulders.

"Kairi. You just broke my phone…" I said through gritted teeth. She stared at me for a moment before shrugging out of my grip.

"Technically, you broke it yourself since you wouldn't let me call Axel in the first place," she replied.

"Well now neither of us can call Axel!" I shouted, finally snapping back into reality and getting up to examine the damage on my phone. And of course, just my luck, it was damaged beyond repair.

Fantastic.

"Can't you just call on your house phone?" Kairi asked me, joining me on the other side of the room to look at my phone.

"…there are two problems with that."

"Like what?"

"Well, first of all," I said, picking up my busted phone and waving it in her face. "This was the only place I had his number written down!"

"…ooh. Oops?" She gave me a nervous laugh.

"Yeah oops. Now I think you should buy me a new phone since this was **your** fault."

"Roxy, is it really fair to be playing the blame game?"

"Yes," I answered immediately. "Think of it as a birthday present."

"…I'll buy you a new one next week okay? I get a paycheck on Monday."

"…that means I have to go a weekend without a cell phone," I pointed out.

"Nobody really calls you besides me anyway," she countered, sitting on her bed and fiddling with the remote for her DVD player.

"That's not true. Axel calls me a lot," I argued again, popping off the back of the phone and retrieving the sim card, possibly the only thing in the entire phone that was still functioning.

"Because he wants hot buttsex with you."

"Kairi!" She merely giggled at me while pressing the play button on the DVD remote.

"Admit it, you'd like that," she teased me. Of course, she was absolutely right, but that didn't mean I was going to actually admit it. Honestly, would you?

Yeah. That's what I thought.

"Dude, shut up," I said, flopping onto the bed.

"Aw, don't sulk."

"Don't bother." I shook my head, focusing on the movie and proceeding to ignore her.

* * *

The rest of the weekend went by in a blur, mostly because it was spent without a phone and with my best friend. Not that I was complaining, but it was nothing worth mentioning. 

Monday rolled around quickly. The next was Halloween, so obviously the entire school was buzzing with news about who's going to who's party and what was happening tomorrow night.

"So, you guys are all coming to my party, right?" Demyx said at lunch somewhere between his Dr. Pepper and his pizza.

"Wouldn't miss it for the world, dude," Sora replied. "How many people did you invite anyway?"

"Lots. You guys and a bunch of my senior friends that graduated last year, not to mention a lot of people from our class."

"Are you going to be able to have everybody all in one house?" Kairi blinked, stealing a bite of Sora's chocolate cake.

"He's done it before, he can do it again," Riku filled in, also taking a bite of Sora's cake.

"Can you guys go get your own damn cake?" Sora smacked both of their hands away, shielding his cake from them. The two of them merely snickered but they did pull away.

"Anyway," Kairi changed the subject. "Anybody seen Axel?"

"He was in class with us earlier, so he's definitely around somewhere," Selphie replied, getting up to throw away her trash.

"I think he had to do some lunch detention, actually," Sora interjected, finishing off his cake.

"He's going tomorrow, right?" Kairi questioned again.

"He better be," Demyx muttered.

"Like we've been telling you, Dem, your parties are the best. No way he'd miss it," Riku replied, licking a bit of frosting off of my cousin's face, causing him to giggle.

"Besides, he lives in the same house you do. It's not like he really can miss it," I pointed out.

"…this is true!" Demyx nodded and grinned, instantly launching a conversation about what kind of food and music the party should have.

"So, I think we should play at the party. Get some more publicity for the band y'know?" Sora brought up a good point.

"Already ahead of you on that, Sor," Demyx replied, turning to look at me. "And then I'm thinking that like, as people are walking in, Roxas can play the piano and go all phantom on their asses!"

"Phantom?" Riku raised an eyebrow.

"Phantom of the Opera," I replied, looking back at Demyx. "You seriously want me to play piano?"

"Definitely. Maybe we'll even hook you up with a phantom mask huh?"

"How about the whole damn costume?" I muttered.

"Good idea, I'll pick one up for you!"

"Wait, what?"

"It's Halloween, Rox. You gotta wear a costume."

"Right, so what's yours?"

"Hmm, I haven't decided yet…probably something easy." Demyx frowned a little, obviously in deep thought.

"Whatever, I'm gonna be a secret agent," Sora announced, leaning over to throw away his trash.

"Well it's not a secret now, is it?" Selphie grinned at him.

"…crap."

"Dem, do we have to wear costumes?" Riku sighed.

"Riku, you can be an agent with me! I was gonna ask Roxas but since he's gonna be the phantom-"

"I never said I wanted to be the fucking phantom! Demyx just told me I was gonna be!" I exclaimed. Sometimes, I really did wonder if my friends listened to me at all.

"Roxas, relax," Kairi replied. "If you want, I'll be Christine."

"No cause nobody will notice that! You just get to wear a big dress and I'm stuck with a white…thing on my face!" I argued back.

"Melodramatic. Anyway, I'll probably end up as something else, like a pi-"

"**I'm gonna be Jack Sparrow, bitches!"** Demyx suddenly shouted, causing a few heads to turn and look in our direction.

"Jack Sparrow's so over-rated though," Sora retorted.

"Well then a pirate in general," Demyx clarified just as the bell rang.

"Look, we'll talk about Dem's party later," Riku declared, standing up and grabbing Sora's hand. Sora followed and grinned.

"Either way, I'm excited. One question though," he paused, looking at Demyx.

"What?" the blond mohawked one spoke.

"Wet or dry party?" Sora smirked. The rest of us turned, looking at Demyx expectantly. Demyx was older than all of us, so of course we always turned to him as a source for alcohol.

"That, my friends, is a surprise." Demyx winked and stood up, walking away from the cafeteria with the rest of us following behind, splitting up to go to our separate classes.

* * *

"So what were you doing last weekend?" Axel greeted me as he slid into his seat next to me in sixth period. 

"What do you mean?"

"I tried calling you a few times to see if you wanted to hang out and do something but it always went straight to your voicemail." He raised an eyebrow, giving me a skeptical look.

Damn you, Kairi.

"Oh well…my phone kinda got busted on Friday afternoon and I haven't gotten a new one yet. Kai and I are going to go get one after school since, you know, she broke it." I grinned and shrugged.

"Ah, that makes sense. So if I were to call you tonight you'd actually answer?" He returned the smile, tilting his head a little in question.

Was he hitting on me? I had no idea, but hell there was no way I was going to stop it now.

"I dunno," I said teasingly. "I'd have to think about that."

"Well think a little faster, huh?"

"Nah, I think I'd rather let you sit in suspense."

"Roxasssss…" he whined, giving me a little pout.

"Oh knock it off," I laughed.

"Seriously though."

"I told you I'd think about it. You'll just have to call and see if I pick up, huh?"

"Tease."

"And what?"

"Nothing, nothing. So are you going to Dem's party?" he asked as he pulled out his binder, just as Teitzel walked into the room.

"Definitely." I grinned.

"Awesome. Demy and I have been planning this thing for like, the entire month of October," he mentioned as the bell rang.

"So it's kind like it's both your party?"

"You can say that."

"That's pretty awesome. What's Dem have in store?" I leaned over him, poking him with my pen.

Yes, an actual pen, you freaks. Horny fangirls…unless some of you are boys? Ugh, whatever.

"Ah, I'm not at liberty to say. You just gotta show up at Demy's tomorrow to find out!" Axel winked and Teitzel called our attention to the front of the room, quickly ending that conversation.

Damn old man, he was cutting in on my game. I mean, Axel and I were doing pretty good with this whole flirting thing. But noooo, I have to get interrupted. But there really wasn't anything I could do about it, so I settled back in my seat and opened my notebook, participating with the rest of the class.

* * *

…you know, I could always tell you about my boring evening, or about how Kairi bought me a new $150 phone, or about how school the next day had me busy with two tests and an essay in Teitzel's class, but honestly, nobody cares about that kind of stuff, right? 

Yeah, that's what I thought. Besides, I've always been rather impatient. Let's just jump to about seven pm Halloween night. That evening found me busy running around my house in my boxers trying to find my black slacks. Of course, nobody was willing to help me.

"Roxas, where are my sunglasses?" Sora hollered from upstairs.

"In case you haven't noticed, I'm a little busy searching for my pants!"

"They're in the dryer, now where're my glasses?"

"Check the bathroom!" I yelled, heading toward the laundry room to retrieve my pants. I was already wearing my black shirt and Demyx was going to supply my cape and mask. Damnit, I didn't want to be the Phantom. Fucking Demyx.

After pulling on my pants and fixing my shirt a little, I headed back upstairs to find my shoes. Sora jumped out into the hallway and stopped me before I could get very far though.

"Okay! Does this look bad?" he asked, twirling around in his tan trench coat, hat, and sunglasses.

"I don't care, move," I replied, gently pushing him out of the way and heading back to my room.

"What's your issue?"

"Nothing, you're in my way and you're making me mad," I retorted, digging through my closet for my shoes.

"What else?" Sora inquired, leaning against the doorframe of my room.

"What are you talking about?"

"You're being really bitchy. Is it because we're performing at Dem's party?"

"Maybe…"

"C'mon, relax. We've played at places before, and these guys are a bunch of our friends."

"Yeah, that's why I'm nervous," I groaned, slipping on my shoes and buttoning up my shirt.

"You can't be serious."

"I am." I nodded, grabbing my car keys and heading downstairs, Sora right at my heels.

"Don't be. People love us," he tried assuring me as we headed out to the car.

"Shut up, Sora." Seriously, I appreciated his efforts, but he only knew half of the story. The other half, well…I'm sure Kairi would bring it up at some point in the evening. We drove to Kairi's place and I honked the horn, waiting for her to come out of her house.

"Maybe we should go ring the doorbell," Sora suggested, fiddling with his sunglasses a little.

"No, no wait, here she comes." I pointed toward the front door which was starting to open. Kairi ran out of her house and jumped into the backseat of my car.

"Hey, sorry I'm late, I had to finish some make-up on Selphie," she explained.

"Selphie?" I repeated. The little brunette soon shot out of the house as well, crawling into the backseat with Kairi. Sora turned around to face them while I started driving to Demyx's house.

"A pirate and a fairy? Jeeze, you two really went out this year," Sora commented dryly.

"Oh come on, like you did, Mr. Secret Agent," Kairi replied.

"And Roxas is just wearing black…" Selphie noted.

"Dem has the rest of the costume at his house," I explained to her.

"Oh right." She nodded, checking on her make-up again.

"Selphie you look adorable, stop worrying about it," Kairi assured her, fixing her pirate shirt.

"Are you supposed to be Elizabeth Swann?" Sora asked, noticing that Kairi has a tag sticking out that clearly said Disney.

"Yep! Pretty cool, huh?"

"You make a hot pirate, Kai," I told her, catching her eye in the rearview mirror.

"Aw, thanks." She grinned and I parked in front of Demyx's house, shutting off the engine and unlocking the doors. The party wasn't really supposed to start until about eight or so, but Demyx wanted us there early to help set up. The four of us climbed out of my car and headed into the house.

"Demyx?" Sora called, looking around for our mohawked friend. Demyx stepped out of the kitchen, dressed as a pirate, just as he said he would.

"Aw look, you two match," I grinned, promptly getting hit in the face with a cape and a mask.

"You, Phantom, I left you some sheet music, but you know a lot of stuff by memory anyway, don't you?" Demyx asked me as he brushed past us, grabbing some plastic plates and cups from his closet.

"I-yeah, but-"

"Awesome, start playing at like, seven fourty-fiveish," he instructed me. "Sora, your drums are set up in a corner of the living room and Roxas I hope you brought your bass because I lost mine."

"It's in the car, Demyx," I replied, fidgeting with my cape a bit. If Demyx was freaking out, then I was going to freak out even more.

"Demyx, calm down, okay?" Sora said, grabbing him by the shoulders to hold him still.

"I just woke up half an hour ago and I'm trying to set up for this party!" Demyx exclaimed.

"…oh. In that case, go!" Sora pushed him back into the kitchen, following him with a punch bowl in his hand.

"I'll go get your guitar, Rox," Kairi offered, taking Selphie with her back out to my car, keys in her hand. As the girls went out, Riku came into the house, wearing an outfit similar to my cousin's. Okay, I lied. Riku looked nothing like Sora, Riku actually looked more like James Bond.

"Nice," I said, gesturing to his black and white attire.

"Thanks. Where's Sora?"

"Kitchen."

"Thanks." He turned and headed into the kitchen and the first thing I heard was a loud "Riku you look absolutely hot!" which was quickly followed by a, "Hey wait, we're not dressed the same though!"

"Sora, you said secret agent, so this is what I found," Riku replied, coming out of the kitchen with Sora right behind him.

"Well now I look like some dorky little kid with a huge trench coat," Sora whined, gesturing to said trench coat.

"I think you look cute."

"You would. Riku, I don't like it!" Sora continued to pout. Riku chuckled lightly and grabbed Sora by the wrist.

"C'mon, let's go back to your house really quick and we'll see what we can do, okay?"

"Fine…Roxas tell Demyx we'll be right back," Sora said over his shoulder as Riku led him to his car.

"Um...Dem, Sora was being a brat and so he and Riku are going back to my house to fix Sora's costume," I yelled into the kitchen behind me as Kairi came back in and handed me my bass.

"Here, sorry, have to fix make-up, bye!" she said quickly, pulling a giant pink bag and Selphie into the bathroom with her.

And there I was alone, standing there with a mask and a cape like some kind of superman in disguise. Well, I guess the only thing I could do was sit down at the piano and start playing…something. Nobody else has told me to do otherwise. Walking toward Demyx's piano, I sat on the bench and uncovered the keys, plunking on a few of them to find the right melody. It took me a few tries, but I finally found what I was looking for and began playing a song I had written a few months prior. Some might say it was sad. Some might say it was beautiful. And some might say it's emo.

I like to call it "Roxas".

I wasn't playing for very long before a shadow cast itself over my hands and a mouth hovered by my ear.

"I didn't know you played the piano," Axel said in his usual teasing tone, causing me to jump and hit a few-okay a lot- of wrong notes.

"Where the hell did you suddenly appear from?" I asked him, stopping my playing all together.

"I've been around helping Dem set up some stuff and getting dressed," he replied, motioning to his vampire attire complete with the black pants and shirt, goth collar, fangs, and make-up.

Let's put it this way: I'd let him bite me anywhere he wanted.

"Nice." I nodded in approval.

"And you are…something that fell out of a vintage clothes closet?" he asked with a grin. I wasn't sure if he was serious or not.

"Phantom of the Opera. Demyx's idea, since I play piano."

"Well, so does Demyx," Axel pointed out.

"Yeah, but he's too busy being a pirate."

"True. Where're the others?" He glanced around the room, raising an eyebrow at how empty it appeared.

"Well. Demyx is in the kitchen probably spiking the punch, Sora and Riku went back to my house because Sora was being a brat and whining about his costume, and Kairi and Selphie are in the bathroom fixing their make-up for like the seventeenth time tonight and the party hasn't even started."

"Well, we still have a while until people actually start showing up. I better go check and see if Demy needs help. You just…keep phantom-ing." He waved and got up from the bench, heading into the kitchen where Demyx was. I rolled my eyes and hit a few more keys on the piano, launching myself into another melody, picking up speed as I went. I guess you could call it a speed waltz. I don't even remember where I picked it up from. The doorbell rang then and Demyx flew out of the kitchen, heading for the door.

"Roxas, start playing something more festive will you?" he said as he opened the front door, greeting people. I nodded to myself and continued playing my waltz, trying to figure out what else to play. Axel walked by me, humming to himself as he set up some stuff on one of the tables. It gave me an idea.

I had learned how to play music from the Nightmare Before Christmas a long time ago. Demyx wanted festive? He was gonna get festive. I morphed my waltz into a version of 'This is Halloween', playing as more people entered the house. The doorbell kept ringing and Demyx kept running back and forward, answering the door as more cars started collecting out in front. I recognized most of them, but some of them were kids that graduated last year, the year Demyx was supposed to. Kairi and Selphie finally came out of the bathroom and Kairi ran out to my car, dropping off her make-up bag. She came back in and joined me at the bench.

"I think you should play something from Phantom," she commented, fixing my mask for me.

"Can I finish one song at a time please?" I snapped at her, trying to move my cape a little.

"What's your problem?" She raised an eyebrow, moving my cape for me as well.

"Um, how many people did Dem invite to this party?"

"Roughly 40 or 50, but you know everybody's going to be bringing friends," Kairi replied, watching the pizza guy bring in about twelve pizzas.

"Yeah, that's what my problem is. I'm not performing in front of all of these people!"

"Roxas, if you want to be in a band, you can't let your stage fright get the best of you, especially if you're the lead singer."

"Yes, Kairi, I know. You keep telling me that and every time you do it doesn't make it any easier," I reminded her.

"Well technically, you're performing for all of these people right now," Kairi said, nodding toward the piano that I was still playing.

"…okay so I guess you win. So what?"

"I'm just saying you need to calm down. Where were Sora and Riku headed?"

"Back to our house so Sora could change. They should be back soon…"

"We're back!" Sora announced from the doorway, leading Riku in after him. Kairi and I both looked up and instantly laughed.

"You look awesome!" Kairi exclaimed, jumping up and fixing Sora's tie a bit.

"You guys aren't secret agents anymore?" I asked.

"Nope! Riku came up with a better idea," Sora replied, pushing up his sunglasses. Demyx walked up behind them, carrying a bunch of cookies or something, I'm not really sure what they were.

"The Blues Brothers. Oh you two…" He shook his head and laughed a little, walking away to set down the food in his hand. Riku and Sora were now wearing their black suits, black hats, and black sunglasses and Sora seemed to be less high-strung about it. Good, that took care of one problem.

"Demyx!" Sora asked, bouncing up to our blond friend. "When are we playing?"

Ah, the other problem.

"Whenever I guess." Demyx shrugged, fixing his eye patch.

"Roxas?" Sora turned to look at me.

"Uh…" Because yes, I am that intelligent.

"I think if you guys are going to play, you better do it soon while a lot of people are still here," Kairi kindly pointed out. Bitch. I wasn't **ready** to go and play yet! I was pretty happy sitting in my little corner playing the piano. Yeah, that's right.

"All right, might as well start playing now!" Sora declared, already racing for his drum set.

"Sora!" I called after him, but of course I got ignored. Demyx followed after Sora, leaving me by myself with Kairi. I stopped playing the piano and got up, taking in a deep breath to calm my nerves.

"You're going to do fine…" Kairi assured me, fixing my phantom mask once again. Damn thing kept sliding around all over my face.

"It's your fault, you know."

"Why me?" she blinked in surprise.

"Because you're the one who said, 'I think if you guys are going to play, you better do it soon', not me!" I pointed out, making my way toward our makeshift stage.

"Roxas, if it was up to you, you wouldn't play until somebody forced you. That's why I just volunteered you! Besides, it's not that bad. If you have to, just look at me and ignore everybody else." She smiled cheerfully, pushing me toward my bass.

"Yeah, you just wait until I blow chunks all over Dem's floor," I murmured.

"Oh don't be dramatic. It'll be fine…just go!" She pushed me once more and I stumbled up to the front right next to my microphone Demyx so kindly set up for me. How he got a microphone, I'm not sure, but it was there! Probably stole it from somewhere. I stood in front of the mic and picked up my bass, tuning it while I spoke to the crowd…that was suddenly staring at me.

Oh god, talk about being totally and massively uncomfortable. I mean, you try having at least 70-some pairs of eyes staring at you, especially when you're shy. Not. Cool. Oh well, had to suck it up.

"Um, hey guys…welcome to Dem's party, which as I'm sure you all know is probably the biggest fuckin' party of the season!" That got me a big chorus of approval. Okay, so maybe this wasn't going to be so hard. Still, I made sure to catch Kairi's eye before I continued talking, praying my voice wasn't going to crack or anything.

"Anyway, we've got food, we've got drinks, and of course, what's a party without music? We have a bunch of great hits lined up for you later tonight, but first, we thought it'd be fun for us to play a few songs for you tonight. What do you guys think?" Again, another chorus of approval. Good, hopefully they won't hate us now.

"Awesome! All right, so, how many of you have seen the movie Nightmare Before Christmas? If you haven't, god, just leave this party now." That earned me a few laughs. Laughs are good. "Okay no, just kidding. But anyway, we decided to cover a song from the movie and we thought it'd be pretty appropriate to play this during Halloween, even though it's a song about Christmas. Yeah, I think you all know which song I mean. Now, Kairi I left some piano music back there, can you play the little part I left you please? I mean, I'd do it myself but I don't really have enough hands to do everything." I grinned at her. Kairi moved around the crowd back to the piano, promptly playing the music I had left for her, Demyx following with his guitar, me with my bass, and a few drumbeats from Sora. I smiled at the crowd again, preparing myself to sing and hopefully not screw up.

"Whaaaaaaaaaat's this, what's this, there's color everywhere, what's this, what's this, there's white things in the air, what's this, I can't believe my eyes I must be dreaming, wake up Jack, this isn't fair, what's this?" We did pretty good keeping up with the beat. After all, we just wrote the cover a month or so ago. It actually didn't sound too bad, I was pretty proud of us. The song came to an end after about three minutes, met by another set of cheering and applause. I dropped my bass so that it was just hanging from my body, smiling back at the crowd.

"This next song is a cover that I'm pretty sure every single one of you knows about. Feel free to dance or something, don't just stand there staring at us!" All three of us started playing, it was hard to tell who started first. Instantly people cheered and started dancing, even before we started singing.

"Hey ho, let's go, hey ho, let's go, hey ho, let's go, hey ho, let's go. They're forming in a straight line, they're going through a tight one, the kids are losing their minds, The Blitzkrieg bop. They're piling in the back seat, they're generating steam heat, pulsating to the back beat, The Blitzkrieg bop." And the song went on, us playing with everybody singing and dancing along.

See…as much as I hate having people watch me, I **love** having people watch me. It's like an oxymoron. Or maybe I'm just a moron, I'm not entirely sure. Either way, it freaks me out up until I actually get loosened up on stage and know that people **aren't **going to throw stuff at me. As we ended up Blitzkrieg Bop and moved onto a cover of some stupid Green Day song Sora liked, I glanced around to see what everybody else was doing. I didn't get very far though before I caught Axel's gaze on me, watching me intently just like he had before. And now that I knew for sure I had a crush on him, well…okay it just made things worse. At least I finished our set okay knowing that he was still watching me pretty close.

Eventually, Demyx just stopped playing and walked away from the stage, making an announcement that as much as it was a disappointment to people, we had to play some actual music so the band could relax. He set up his stereo, which he had previously connected to his computer, and set his music list to shuffle, allowing some clubbing song to blast through the air.

Meanwhile, I had set off to find Kairi while Riku picked up Sora, heading to…damn, who knows where. Anyway, I'm walking through the crowds of people, minding my own business and stuff right? Well suddenly, Axel steps in front of me and looks down, placing a hand on his hip. Neither of us spoke for a while, each just staring the other down. It was starting to get a little unnerving.

"…what?" I finally asked, growing impatient.

"Nice job," he simply said before he walked past me, leaving me to stand there agape.

Wait, wait, wait. He just wasted five minutes of my time **just** to tell me nice job? That just wasn't cool, man. I changed paths and quickly followed him, noticing that he was heading to his bedroom. I slipped into the room after him and shut the door.

"What the hell, Axel?" I asked him, glaring slightly. He seemed to be preoccupied by pulling a beer out of a mini-fridge that sat in the corner of the room.

"Want one?" he offered me, completely by-passing what I said. It was obvious he himself was just starting to get buzzed. Must have done it while we were playing.

"Um…" See normally, I don't drink. I think it tastes funny and it just…it's gross. But…since Axel was offering…

"Well?"

"Yeah, sure," I answered, taking the can out of his hand when he passed it to me. I tried not to look grossed out as I swallowed some of the liquid, cringing slightly at the bitterness. Axel didn't seem to mind the taste, considering he drank his in almost one gulp.

"So. What'd you want, Shorty?" he asked, sitting on his bed and patting a spot next to him.

"What the hell did you mean?" I retorted, sitting next to him.

"By what?"

"'Nice job'? Is that really all you had to say?"

"Well, yeah," he chuckled a little, drinking the rest of his beer and tossing the can into the garbage.

"Nothing else?"

"No. Should there be something else?"

"Yes!"

"…like what?" He raised an eyebrow and it was then that I realized I didn't know either.

"Um…something else…" I stalled, trying to rack my brain for an excuse.

"What, did you want a kiss or something for a job well done?" he drawled out, looking at me curiously.

"A…wait, what?" Was he serious?

"A. Kiss. C'mon, you're not Peter Pan. Do you want one or what?" Well okay. Let's think about this, Roxas. This guy is drunk and you've only known him for about two months. However, this guy is also very attractive and you're interested. Sorta.

…hell, we'll blame it on the alcohol.

"Uh…okay…" I replied, blinking at him. He nodded and scooted closer to me, cupping my face in his hand. It wasn't until then that I realized what was **actually **going to happen. Our faces drew closer to each other and he turned his head, moving closer…and closer.

"Guys!" Demyx burst into Axel's room and I scrambled away from the redhead. Axel didn't seem startled at all by Demyx's sudden outburst. Sora popped up right behind him, peering into the room.

On the bright side, those two seemed a little tipsy as well.

"What Dem?" Axel inquired, still remaining calm.

"We're gonna go streaking. You two in?" Sora asked, bouncing around all over the place.

"Streaking?" I asked suspiciously. I didn't really like that idea, but Axel seemed to have other plans for us.

"Oh, we would **love** to!" he exclaimed loudly, jumping off of his bed and grabbing my wrist. "C'mon, Roxas!" He then proceeded to drag me toward the front door where Demyx and Sora already were. The four of us stepped out onto Demyx's front porch and shut the door away from the rest of the party. Sora and Demyx immediately started stripping out of their costumes and Axel slowly started to follow their example.

…again, we ran into a problem. I really didn't want **anybody** seeing me naked, especially Axel. I mean…yeesh. Pro, I would get to see all of him. Con, he would get to see all of me. I drew the line at that.

"Dem, can we leave the boxers on?" I asked him, slowly undoing my mask and cape.

"Pfft, fuck no. Streaking means running without **any** clothes on, and that includes boxers. Besides, you've got the same parts the rest of us do, don't you?" Demyx questioned, slipping out of his own boxers. Sora stood next to him, waiting for me and Axel.

"C'mon, Roxas, lighten up would ya?" Axel lightly nudged me in the ribs, taking off the rest of his clothes and suddenly leaving me to be the odd man out.

"Well?" Sora asked expectedly, leaning against the railing on Demyx's front porch.

Okay, so I now had three naked guys staring at me and waiting for me to join them. Should I be intimidated, cause I pretty much was.

"It'll be fun," Axel assured me, unbuttoning my shirt for me despite my squawks of protest.

"Yeah, don't chicken out on us now! The band has to do everything together anyway!" Demyx filled in, taking the liberty of completely pants-ing me, boxers and all. The first thing that crossed my mind was something along the lines of wanting to kill them all. That thought was quickly cut off by-

"Fuck, it's cold!" I practically screamed, making a grab for my clothes. Demyx cheerfully kicked them out of my reach.

"Let's go!" Sora exclaimed, already running down the sidewalk and leading us in our run.

"Sora, wait up!" Demyx laughed, following him and Axel dashed past me too, catching up to Demyx. Not wanting to be left behind, I was forced to pick up the pace and race after them, not bothering to think about the fact that my junk probably looked really awkward bouncing around as it was. Eventually I was behind my friends, still running and following Sora as he led us all around the island. I glanced over at Axel then, noticing that he was looking at me too. He gave me a wide grin and kept running, laughing again.

Then I suddenly remembered another reason why I was planning on murdering Demyx. I was just about to kiss Axel. **Axel!** Then Demyx had to go and fucking interrupt me! How rude.

Ew, that reminds me of that annoying chick from Full House.

Anyway, now that I thought about it though, would I have really gone through with it? Would I have really kissed Axel? And then I had to think, "okay, what if that led to something else?" I'm not sure **what** else, but you get the idea, don't you? Hand-job, blowjob, lick, suck…

Shit, what if I had slept with him?!

…so maybe I was blowing this whole situation out of proportion. Besides, I wouldn't have really **minded** if I slept with him. Perhaps that was just the hormones talking. After all, seeing him in all his nude glory really wasn't helping me any.

By the way, yes, I was impressed. I mean seriously, if you saw the guy, you'd be impressed too. It wasn't like "oh my shit, he'll break me in half!", but it was definitely more than average. Besides…I doubt it would break me in half anyway, it would just be sort of uncomfortable. Or maybe it would feel good…maybe…sex with Axel.

What would that be like? It would probably be something like…hard…and rough…and sweaty. Sounds like Axel. Maybe it'd even be a little kinky. Fuck, with those fangs he has in right now, I bet he has some sort of biting fetish.

Mmh…vampire sex. That sounds really…oh shit. Oh no, no, no, not now! And of course, Axel chose that **exact** moment to look over at me again.

"…problem, Roxas?" he asked, nodding toward my growing erection.

"Uh…it's just cold, that's all," I said the first thing I could think of, immediately regretting it due to the fact that I was sure he didn't believe a word I just said.

"Yeah right," he drawled out in a sing-song tone, giving me a small smirk. "What are you really thinking about?"

You.

"We passed by some girl's house I know. She's actually really hot and I was just wondering what she'd be wearing now. She told me that she was gonna be a playboy bunny this year," I lied again, only this time it sounded more believable, and it would have been.

The only thing was, the girl was Olette, she wasn't going to be dressing as a playboy bunny, and as far as I knew, she and another friend of ours were hanging out that night watching horror movies.

But hey, a little lie never hurt, right?

"All right, whatever you say," Axel snickered again, running ahead to keep up with Demyx and Sora, who were both heading back to Demyx's house.

I seriously had to get this problem under control. And no, I didn't just mean my hard-on, I meant about Axel in general. I couldn't keep doing stuff like that, especially when I didn't even know how he felt about me. Sure, he was the one who suggested the reward kiss, but he was drunk. Drunk people do a lot of stupid things, that's why we were out at that moment running around in about forty-five degree weather wearing nothing but what was left of our dignity.

Trust me, I didn't have much left by this point.

We made it back to Demyx's in one piece with only a few minor incidents and few people seeing us. I'm not really sure what was supposed to be fun about that, but Sora and Demyx were definitely cracking up as we all collapsed on Demyx's porch, getting dressed again.

"I seriously thought that cop was gonna chase us! And what about those three girls we ran through? Think they were checking us out? Man, Riku should have came with us!" Sora babbled on and on as he got dressed, Demyx nodding in agreement. The two of them finished first and headed back into the party, leaving Axel and myself on the porch, still putting ourselves back together. Once again, it was quiet between us as I put my cape back on and he refastened his collar.

"…that offer still stands, you know," he mentioned then, brushing off his shirt.

"Which?" I looked up, mask in hand.

"The reward kiss. That is, if you still want it," he replied, leaning in closer so that our noses almost touched. I couldn't think fast enough, but I was aware of the fact that Axel's breath smelled like cinnamon and my heart was about to pound it's way out of my chest.

"I…um…I-" I managed to stutter. Really, my stuttering's pretty attractive. He gave me a sort of amused look, tilting his head to look at me. And then he moved in again, gently cupping my face into his hand and stepping closer. I looked up at him, still trying to figure out what I should do about this whole thing. Should I just let him kiss me? Or should I take off running while I still could? Axel kept my face there, looking straight…okay, sort of straight, into my eyes. He slowly moved in for the kill, tilting his head down and bringing his lips closer and closer. And then…

I chickened out.

"I should be getting home, actually," I replied, immediately pulling away from him. "Sorry, I'll see you at school okay?" I grabbed the rest of my stuff and fished my keys out of my pocket.

"Uh…sure." Axel nodded, giving me a weird glance before waving and entering the party again. With a deep sigh, I turned around and trudged toward my car, tempted to just bash my head against the nearest tree.

What the hell was wrong with me? Here I had Axel practically offering me a free kiss and I turned it down. What the hell? I didn't understand it. Everything was perfect too, other than the fact that I made up some lame excuse about needing to be home.

Truthfully, I didn't have to be home for at least another two hours.

I got into my car and called Kairi's cell phone, leaving her a brief message about needing to get another ride home. Sora I didn't really have to worry about, I knew he would just go home with Riku anyway. I put the key in the ignition and started my car, backing out of my parking place and heading toward my house, still beating myself up for backing out. I couldn't believe it!

Okay, actually I could, but still! Didn't make it any easier. Besides, what if Axel actually remembered that I pretty much blew him off? That would just make everything else even more awkward. I couldn't even think about all of it right that moment, it was all a big whirlwind inside of my head. Besides, I couldn't think about Axel and drive at the same time.

And by the way, yes, I still was kind of hard.

God I hate Halloween.

* * *

... I know. I know. I've been working on this for a very long time guys, but I'm in college. I get so busy with other stuff that I'm either too busy, tired, or stressed to work. On the brightside, only three more weeks until summer vacation!

Anyway, I just want to say thank you to everybody who's still a loyal reader and fan. You guys and your comments mean a lot.

Thanks to: Stealthe-Chan, **JJ CJ,** Lily Vendrem, **Raine Mizuki, **Axel-fiery-gurl, **Deaths pet fox, **mentaru, **Shiguna, **NightimeRoseOX, **wolfofsummerbreeze, **Orangedcgirl, **Kerori, **MuffinKitty, **Heosic-chan, **Lirin Sama, **EmoDiva, **SetsuntaMew, **Kiaran Dryaalis, **JohnneyAntonelli, K-Gforever, **fluff99,** Demyx Fanboy, **an-obscure-flaw, **Ranchdressing, **DarkRoseDamael, **kupow, **InuAngel788, **Astrazoxity, **Emu, **Candied, **Princess Lady Subaru, **Setsuna Kurosaki, UdyjaySakiya Mystery, **-Insomniac.Kitty-**, Tama-**Kitsune**, chibi neko doll, **paintthesilence, **Sasameyuki, **Insomiak, **beautifulxxdisaster, **B4U, **Ali12oop, **ExposedDesires, **Metal Chocobo, **Ryuu, **Arnen, **Musician In The Making, **Eveni, **Squishy Penguin, **Beatrisu, **snowstar14, **PopTartAddict, **lulu, **GROTESQUEpanda, **MsBokkyaku, **Jyo-Chan, **shad0wOFn0th1ng, **Axel's Iris is Roxas, **DragonRider13025, **MikaAnimeFreak, **Lumiere, **and Sasunaru-rikusora-akuroku.

62 reviews guys. I'm impressed. Keep impressing me if I keep impressing you. Fair deal?

Chapter seven's already started on. Thanks for being patient with me and thank you for reading!


	7. My Stupid Mouth Has Got Me In Trouble

**Chapter Seven**

_My Stupid Mouth Has Got Me In Trouble, I Said Too Much Again_

* * *

Okay, honest question. How many of you now think I'm a total chicken?

Don't worry, I think so too.

I couldn't believe it. I had completely missed the chance I had been waiting for because I didn't have the balls to go through with it. What was wrong with me? I really would have liked to know, but as it turned out, I didn't need to figure it out.

Kairi was going to do it for me.

* * *

The day after Halloween, a Wednesday, was pretty mellow, aside from everybody talking about how kick-ass Demyx's party was. But I really wasn't all that surprised. Demyx really does throw the best parties, and they only got better as the night went on.

Anyway, I walked into my first period class and Kairi immediately grabbed my elbow, keeping me from moving very far.

"Where did you go last night?" she asked me, raising an eyebrow.

"Do we have to talk about this now?" I replied, glancing at the few of our classmates that were entering the room.

"Well, yeah, I'd like to."

"It's sort of a personal thing…"

"Roxas," she started off just as the bell sounded off. "As your best friend, I think you should tell me. Besides, it might make you feel better. We can discuss this as soon as I make the announcements." And with that, she walked away from me. I dropped my binder onto my desk and waited for the morning announcements and Kairi's announcement to be finished. She came back over to me and motioned for me to follow her.

"C'mon, I have a few pictures to take," she said and pulled me along behind her. Really, I didn't have much of a choice. We were about as far as the back doors of the school that I realized that she wasn't even carrying a camera.

"How're you going to take pictures without a camera?" I asked her, giving her a skeptical look of my own.

"I'm not," she replied and led me out to the football field, sitting down on the sideline and pulling me down with her.

"Then what are we doing?"

"You said it was a personal thing. Nobody's going to look for us out here," she explained, smoothing out her skirt.

"Okay, so you have a point." I nodded, leaning back on my hands.

"So, what happened to you last night? Sora told me that you went streaking with him and Demyx and Axel, but then you disappeared after that."

"How'd you get home?" I countered her question, stalling for more time. I seemed to be doing that a lot lately.

"Demyx walked me home because he didn't want to drink and drive-"

"Wait, Demyx? What's going on with you two anyway?" I interrupted her. She narrowed her eyes slightly, glancing over at me.

"I know what you're trying to do, you know."

"What?"

"You're trying to distract me so that I stop asking about you," she accused me. Now really, where's the trust?

Never mind the fact that she was absolutely right.

"I'm just curious, that's all," I replied, picking at a blade of grass.

"I'll tell you if you tell me," Kairi replied, also playing with the grass.

"…you first." She heaved a heavy sigh and looked at me again.

"Fine! Nothing's really going on, we're just being us. Now you, what's your story?"

Damn it. That wasn't any use at all.

"Well, depends. Where do you want me to start?"

"What happened? It's not that hard to answer you know." It was my turn to sigh, laying on my back and looking at the sky.

"…I almost kissed Axel, okay?"

"Are you ser-…wait, almost?" Kairi blinked in surprise. "What do you mean almost?"

"I mean I ended up walking away before he could kiss me, that's what I mean."

"Chicken."

"Yeah, so I figured. I mean, I don't even know why I walked away! I just sort of freaked out and decided it wasn't a good idea to kiss him right then and there," I explained, shivering a little. When had it gotten so cold outside? It was only the first day of November; usually it didn't start getting really cold until about Thanksgiving on the islands. Either way, Kairi didn't really notice my discomfort since she continued to talk.

"It's because you didn't want anybody at the party to see you, right? You don't want anybody to know you're bisexual," she theorized.

"…guilty as charged, I guess."

"Roxas, nobody's going to care, honestly."

"**I** care! Kairi I don't want to be labeled as queer."

"Technically, you'd only be half-queer," she interrupted me.

"Don't you remember all of the shit Sora and Riku had to go through after they came out to people?" I pointed out, getting a little annoyed that Kairi kept correcting me. "I'm not going to let that happen to me, okay?"

"Roxas-"

"No."

"Roxas…"

"No."

"Listen to me."

"What?"

"…I know you're not going to like what I have to say, but you need to listen. Do you really like Axel? Like, like-like."

"I don't know."

"No, Rox. It's a yes or no question," she said sternly.

"Do I really have to answer?"

"I would like the truth if that's what you're asking."

"Fine. Yes, I like Axel. There, stop bugging me now," I snapped. I think Kairi finally realized that I was just as mad about wimping out as she was.

"Then what's stopping you from telling him?" she asked me slowly.

"Who knows…" I replied, sitting up and pulling myself up from the ground, dusting off my pants. "C'mon, people are going to wonder what's taking us so long."

"Roxas…"

"What?" I looked back at her, waiting for her to catch up to me.

"…never mind. Do what you want." She rolled her eyes slightly, falling into step with me. Nothing more was said between us as we made our way back toward the school building and to our classroom. I know I shouldn't have felt bad about anything I said to her or anything I was doing, really. Like Kairi said, I could do what I wanted. But if I was really doing what I wanted…

…why did I feel so lousy?

* * *

I wasn't really surprised when Kairi didn't talk to me much for the rest of the day, and when she did, she made sure that nothing had to do with the events of that morning. Sure, I felt a little guilty about snapping at her, but I really didn't know how to answer her questions. I was pretty much relieved when sixth period rolled around because that meant that the sooner it was over, the sooner I could just go home, regroup, and start over again the next day.

Of course, I had completely forgotten that there was another wrench thrown into the spokes of my plan.

Axel. I somehow managed to block out the fact that he was in my English class. How, I'm not sure, but I managed to do it. He slid into his seat next to me, turning to look at me.

"Did you get home okay?" Were the first words out of his mouth, catching me by surprise.

"Um, yeah, fine. How was the rest of the party?" I asked carefully, praying that he didn't remember much of what had occurred yesterday. Axel seemed to contemplate it for a moment, shrugging slightly.

"It was fine. Everybody was out of there at like, two this morning. Things kind of winded down about an hour after you left," he replied.

Good, he wasn't going to mention the kiss I pretty much denied him of. That settled me a bit.

"Oh I see. At least it was a good party though, right?"

"Pfft, of course it was. When Demy and I plan a party, we plan a party." Axel grinned, looking semi-normal now that the vampire fangs were gone.

"Well then, good job," I congratulated him, leaning over to grab my notebook and a pen before the class actually started.

"Thanks. Too bad you couldn't stay later though."

"Why's that?"

"Things kind of got boring after you left, I already told you that," he replied, leaning back in his seat and watching me still.

"So what, after I left you lost your source of entertainment?" I snorted, sitting upright again.

"Well, yeah."

…whoa, time out. Just what was he saying here?

"And what's that supposed to mean?" I asked, resisting the urge to raise an eyebrow, another thing I seemed to be doing a lot of lately. I didn't really have time to think about that thought because no sooner had the words left my mouth that I found myself face-to-face with Axel, his nose bumping into mine. Images of the previous night went racing through my brain, the closeness, the words, the streaking, my hard-on, everything. It was just as clear as it had been yesterday.

And fuck me dead, I started blushing.

"It means, I think you're a pretty cool guy to hang out with and Demyx wouldn't play with me anymore," he drawled out in that same cool way he always did, still keeping the distance between us very short.

"Oh…um, sorry I left then?" I said lamely while I continued to beat down the sexual side of my brain. For the sake of all things awesome in the world, I was in **class!** I couldn't afford to get turned on in the middle of school! Axel didn't seem to mind though as he kept his face where it was, moving it to the side ever so slightly. Shit, shit, shit, he was going to kiss me right then and there because I denied him of a kiss the night before! Oh dear God, Buddha, Allah, whoever the hell isn't busy helping other people, please don't let him kiss me right now! To my surprise though, Axel's head kept going until his lips were by my ear.

"You should be…" he whispered, sending shivers up my spine. He grinned again and pulled away from me, sitting upright and facing the board.

Talk about mixed signals.

"Axel-" I didn't get time to complete the rest of my thought thanks to Mr. Teitzel walking into the classroom and the bell ringing. In Teitzel's class, as soon as the bell rang, you weren't allowed to speak again unless given permission to. Usually, people didn't bother to follow that rule but today I felt like listening for once and keeping my mouth shut. It just seemed safer that way. After all, that was the reason Kairi and I weren't really talking now. That was the reason I was all awkward around Axel. And that was the reason Axel didn't really know what he was doing to me.

My stupid mouth had got me in trouble.

* * *

As soon as I got home from school, I went up to my bedroom and shut the door, sitting down at my desktop and opening iTunes, selecting…shit, I don't know what I selected, it was something that I could use to attempt to drown out my thoughts. After checking my email and Myspace (yes, I have one too, shut up), I pulled out my math book to start on my homework. Funny thing was, I couldn't focus on it. I mean, math didn't make sense to me anyway but now it **really** didn't make sense. But what could I possibly do about it? It's not like I could make myself smarter overnight. Actually, if I really wanted to, I could just go and ask Sora. He passed pre-calc last year.

But truthfully, I was just too…unfocused. Really, my mind was totally somewhere else, I'm not even sure where. All of this thinking about Axel and what sort of mess I had gotten myself into had given me a headache. Closing the math book and changing my music to something quieter, I closed the blinds on my window and crawled on top of my bed, curling up on my side. There was something wrong, I knew that. I just couldn't figure out what though. I mean, I wasn't in trouble, and I hadn't hurt anybody, but I still felt like I did something wrong. The song changed then and my entire thought process stopped except for three small words.

"What. The. Hell." I sat up and squinted over at my monitor, groaning a little. Somehow, some of Sora's Disney songs made their way into my playlist. And really, did it have to be this one? Any other song, fine, whatever. But this particular one, damn it, I'm trying to clear my head and the stupid song comes on!

"Who'd'ya think you're kidding, he's the earth and heaven to you, try to keep it hidden, honey we can see right through you, girl, ya can't conceal it, we know how ya feel and who you're thinking of. No chance, no way, I won't say it, no, no, you swoon, you sigh, why deny it? Uh-oh! It's too cliché, I won't say I'm in love."

Obviously, my computer didn't seem to care about my current dilemma. Bastard. I had to wait for the song to be over before I attempted to relax. But no, said my computer, let's just continue to antagonize him more! I love Sugarcult, really, but right now I was ready to kill.

"All I can taste is champagne, when it hits the brain like cocaine, spinning around and around we can't make up without your help, I'm falling down." And of course it would play a song about alcohol. Why wouldn't it? Thankfully though the next song was a Bowling for Soup song that had nothing to do with my current situation. I resumed my position on my side and looked toward my door, letting my mind wander. Maybe that's what my problem was; maybe I was just too busy constraining my thoughts so that they couldn't get through and that's why I was confused. It sounded like a logical explanation.

"Okay brain, go ahead. Go nuts," I said out loud, closing my eyes. Nothing happened. No, instead, now that I had called it out, my brain decided to back down. Apparently, there was no hope for me doing anything about it at the given moment. I continued to listen to my music in the dark, trying to make my headache go away. By the way, I was failing kind of badly.

"Okay, Roxas. You can nap for an hour but then you have to wake up and finish all of your homework and stuff, deal?" I muttered into my pillow, not bothering to wait for a response before drifting into a light sleep.

"Hey, Roxas! Dinner's ready," Sora said as he burst into my room, causing me to jolt awake.

"Oh, right. I'll be down there in a few," I replied, sitting up and rubbing my eyes with the palms of my hands. My computer was still playing my music and Sora gave me an amused grin.

"All right, meet ya there," he answered and waved, walking away and bounding down the stairs. Stifling a yawn, I threw a sideways glance at my clock as I got off of my bed.

"Whoa!" I exclaimed, doing a double-take. I had been asleep for three hours? Damn it! I didn't mean to sleep that long! I quickly ran out of the room and down the stairs, joining my mom, my aunt, and Sora at the table. Aunt Seiya was busy putting dishes of food on the table and my mom was right behind her, helping. Dinner looked like it was some form of meat, potatoes, and salad. Average. My mom and Aunt Seiya sat down finally and food started being served.

"And how long were you napping?" my mom asked, also giving me an amused look. I'm assuming it's because I rarely ever nap.

"Uh, not that long," I replied, earning myself a look that clearly said she didn't believe me. "Okay, so like three hours big deal."

"Just asking." Mom took the potatoes and ended that conversation. The rest of dinner kind of went in a blur, Sora rambling about college applications and Aunt Seiya complaining about mean people at the post office. I didn't really pay attention to anything that was being said, my mind had decided to wake up. Now was not a good time to be thinking about Axel, especially when I was sitting at a table with three people who thought I was completely heterosexual. I guess I must have blanked out too much though because the next thing I knew, all three of them were staring at me expectantly.

"…what?" I said slowly, setting down my fork.

"I said, what time did you come home from Demyx's party last night?" Aunt Seiya repeated herself.

"Oh, like, eleven or so," I replied, looking at my plate again.

"And why're you spacing out?" Mom joined in.

"I have a lot of homework that I need to finish. Can I go work on it?" I already stood up and grabbed my plate without waiting for an answer.

"Sure, go ahead. Sora can do the dishes, right?" Aunt Seiya grinned cheerfully, easily ignoring Sora's squawks of protest. I nodded and put my plate in the sink, escaping back upstairs and barricading myself in my bedroom again. My music was still playing but I couldn't be bothered with it. I grabbed my math book again and began working on it again, ignoring the nagging in the back of my head and the knot in my stomach.

This continued to go on for the next two hours. I never was good at math anyway, like I already said. Kairi was good at math though.

And then it hit me like a ton of bricks that had been dropped from an overpass. Things were tense between me and Kairi, so I was tense. I know, it sounds stupid, but it's true. Somehow, Kairi and I just have that sort of bond where if we has a disagreement, even if it's just something little and stupid, it would throw me off.

I knew I had to call her. I picked up my cell phone and turned down my music, instantly hitting the speed dial I had programmed for her. She answered on the second ring.

"What's up?" she said tentatively, a hint that she had also been thinking about earlier.

"I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry about snapping this morning and just being difficult. You're my best friend and the only one that I can actually talk about this stuff with right now. And I mean, I know I shouldn't be snapping at you but I'm just so confused and I-"

"Roxas, calm down," she interrupted me, laughing slightly. "I'm not mad at you or anything."

"…oh." Lesson learned, do not ramble when speaking with Kairi. "So, we're cool?"

"Yeah, we're cool. But are you ready to answer my question?"

"Which?"

"Do you really like Axel?" she asked me and I stopped, trying to think of a good way to word what I was thinking, since I don't know was apparently unacceptable.

"I guess…you could say I do, but I don't really know. I mean, sure I **like** him, but I don't know if it's the kind of like where you'd actually pursue the person. Does that make any sense?" I said pathetically, praying I didn't have to explain any further.

"So it's like, you do but you're not sure why."

"Basically. Does that make any sense to you?"

"Yeah, plenty of sense. It's kind of like why I like Demyx without a reason," she compared.

"Yeah, it's exactly li-wait, you and Demyx?" I blinked, turning down my music again to make sure I heard her correctly.

"Yes, me and Demyx. I think he's cute, so what? You already knew that."

"…you and Demyx?" I repeated.

"Nothing like what's going on between you and Axel, and before you even try to deny that, there is something going on between you and Axel, you just don't know yet."

"…so how do **you** know?"

"Call it women's intuition. Obviously, since you're not a woman, you don't have it."

"Thank you, Captain Obvious," I muttered and drew a star on my paper. "Fine then, what do you think is gonna happen between us?"

"Hey, I said I had women's intuition, not psychic powers."

"What, can't we pretend it's the same thing?" I said jokingly.

"Don't be dumb. Besides, if we knew, that would ruin the surprise."

"Good, you know I hate surprises anyway."

"Rox-as," she drawled out in that little way where it's half joking, half whining.

"Okay, okay. Just…when do you think it's going to happen?" Here she paused for a minute, typing something on what I assumed was her computer. "And what are you doing?" I added for good measure.

"Talking to Selphie on AIM," she answered my second question, still typing.

"Wait, you're not telling her about me and Axel, are you?"

"Would you stop being paranoid? I'm asking her about English."

"Then why didn't you answer my first question?"

"Because then Sel started rambling about some cute guy she saw today, so I had to read all of it while trying to think of an answer for you."

"So did you think of one yet?"

"…I think…it, if there is an it, will happen soon. Probably not as soon as you would like it, but soon. You just have to be patient, Roxas."

"So the prophecy has been told…" I trailed off all wise-like. Or at least, it sounded wise until Kairi started laughing at me.

"Whatever you say, oh wise one," she said through her giggling.

"Hey don't laugh! I thought it sounded cool!"

"You would. Anyway, do you need me for anything else?"

"Probably not. I need to finish my math homework anyway. Did you finish already?"

"Yeah, do you need my help or anything?"

"Nah…I'll finish it eventually. I'll talk to you later okay?"

"Okay sure. See ya tomorrow, Roxas," she said and hung up shortly after that.

Well, that was out of the way. I solved one problem out of…a million. But I really couldn't do much about everything else at that moment. I just had to follow Kairi's advice and be patient.

Like with everything else in my life, easier said than done.

* * *

The next morning came way too fast for my liking. Though, that could have been from me not falling asleep until about four in the morning. After I had finished all of my homework, I just couldn't shut down and go to bed. All I kept thinking about was Axel and plotting ways to force fate to happen faster. Not that I believe in fate, but still, I could try and work with it, couldn't I?

Anyway, after shutting off my alarm clock, I came to the conclusion that there was no way of tricking fate **yet.** After all, people have probably been trying to trick fate to their favor. Fate probably got a lot smarter.

…I sound crazy, don't I? Maybe I was by this point, I don't know. The point of this story is to tell you how Kairi screwed me over yet again, not about how to ramble like an idiot, me being the prime example.

By the time I finally got my ass out of bed and to school, I was still half-asleep but I was pretty much able to function otherwise. Pretty much.

All right, so I almost completely crashed into the flag pole in front of the school and then I spent ten minutes trying to open my locker before realizing that it wasn't even my locker that I was trying to open. Details, details. Point was, I managed to make it to my first period class in one piece just as Kairi was starting to write things on the whiteboard in the front of the classroom. Dropping my stuff down at my computer station, I walked up behind her and waited to be acknowledged. She turned her head to look at me and smiled.

"Morning!" she said cheerfully. At least she was being honest when she said she wasn't mad. Then again, Kairi's usually pretty honest about everything. I seem to be the one who's dishonest about everything. Not all the time mind you, just as of lately.

"Hey. What are we working on this morning?" I replied, reaching into my pocket and turning my cell phone to silent.

"Just the same pages we've been working on. I'm going out in about fifteen minutes to take some pictures though if you want to come with me."

"Sounds good."

I wasn't stupid. Kairi wasn't stupid. We both knew that the pictures could have waited and that we were really just going now to talk about me and my life. Strangely, I was beginning not to mind as much though. After the bell rang and the morning announcements came through the intercom, Kairi picked up one of the classroom cameras and the two of us headed out into the hallway, making our way out toward the football field again.

"So. How are you doing this morning?" Kairi started out.

"Fine I guess. Same thing as usual, still beating myself up over the whole Axel thing." It's true, I was really starting to get annoyed with it actually. Every time I thought about it some more, my head started hurting. Even right then thinking about thinking about it was giving me a headache.

"Well stop doing that and do something about it. Have you considered…oh, I don't know, actually kissing him this time?"

"…it's not that easy, Kai," I said with a sigh, flopping down on the field and sitting up with my hands behind me to support myself. She set down the camera and folded her legs beneath her to join me on the ground.

"How is it not that easy?"

"Because," I started to protest. "What if he doesn't want to anymore? Maybe he's completely lost interest by now, or maybe he's already found someone else to flirt with or-"

"Or you can stop being a complete retard and realize that it's only been two days and Axel's still pretty infatuated with you." Kairi frowned and poked me in the forehead. "Saying maybe doesn't help with anything you know."

"Yeah well, I blew it and that's going to hang over my head forever."

"Because you're letting it, Roxas! What do I have to do to prove to you that you still have a chance at least?"

'Send him to my house. Naked." I rolled my eyes upward. "That might help a bit."

"Don't be ga-"

"I'm not gay."

"…right. Sorry." She looked out across the field, seemingly deep in thought. But knowing Kairi, she was busy plotting. I'm used to that devious yet subtle look by now. "Have you even tried talking to him about it?"

"That's not gonna work."

"Why the hell not?" I knew she was starting to get frustrated with me again, which has actually been happening quite often now.

"Because…look. No offense, but you wouldn't understand because you're a girl. Girls…all they want to do is talk it out. Talking about this is not going to help the situation, all it's going to do is aggravate it further and…I don't want that either." I pushed myself up off the ground and brushed grass off of my pants before heading back toward the school building.

"Roxas…" I heard her sigh behind me as she scrambled to get up and follow. "You're making this so much harder than it actually is."

"Hey Kairi, I think I just thought of a really good plan."

"Yeah? What is it?"

"Why don't we go back inside and shut up about it? Yeah, I think that will work." I pushed opened the door and stomped down the hallway. My eyes were squinting a bit, I guess to adjust to the light from being outside, and my head was still throbbing a bit but I was determined to make myself clear.

"…fine. You know, fine. We'll stop talking about it for now, **again**, but you know you still can't avoid it." Kairi brushed past me and opened the classroom door, allowing the two of us to step into the room and resume class as though nothing had happened.

This was becoming routine for us, talking about it and then dropping it immediately and pretending we didn't. I didn't want to. I didn't need to. It wasn't necessary and besides, we had other things to focus on.

At least, that's what I was trying to convince myself.

* * *

I…wasn't entirely sure how I managed to get to my next two classes on my own. Chemistry with Sora was a complete and total blur, and I'm assuming that my body was on autopilot and just followed him to our Law class because I don't remember even leaving the annual staff room. I don't remember sitting in my desk, I don't remember pulling out my notebook, and I don't remember the class starting.

The only thing I really remember is being focused on the Axel situation and the pounding sensation in my head. I don't remember the lights turning off and I don't remember watching a video for the entire class. I most certainly don't remember falling asleep either with my head resting on my arms.

By the time the lights came back on and the bell rang for lunch, I was still sleeping and the rest of the group was getting up to leave. I have a feeling they would have just left me there without realizing it if Kairi hadn't been sitting right next to me and noticed I wasn't moving.

"Roxas?" she shook me a little bit. "Roxas, wake up." Opening my eyes, I squinted at the light and let out a small groan.

"Wha…?" I blinked while trying to regain my focus.

"Hey, you fell asleep. Class is over."

"Mmh." I sat up and began putting my things into my bag before Kairi grabbed my chin, forcing me to look at her.

"You okay? You've been acting weird all day."

"M'fine," I grumbled and stood up dizzily, steadying myself on the desk.

"Are you sure..? You don't look too good."

"Who doesn't look good?" Sora suddenly interrupted, appearing at Kairi's side while trying to zip up his backpack.

"Your cousin. Look at him, Sora." Sora looked up and raised an eyebrow.

"You okay?" he asked me, eyebrow still arched.

"Yes," I ground out, slightly annoyed by all of the questions.

"You sure? You look really pale and tired."

"I always look like that."

"Whatever." Without a warning, Sora brought his hand forward and felt my forehead. "Gross, you're warm."

"Shut up." Always my most clever comeback, I have to admit. Pushing Sora's hand away from my forehead, I grabbed my school bag and began heading out the classroom door.

"I'm serious, Roxas. You've got a fever and you're cranky. Go home." Sora and Kairi followed me as the three of us went to track down the rest of our group of friends who ever-so-kindly ditched us.

"I'm fine."

"Roxas, stop being stubborn and just go home. You obviously need a nap," Kairi replied.

"I don't want to. Besides, I'd have to go through the hassle of signing myself out through the office and since I'm only 17 I can't really do that."

"Stop making excuses," Sora groaned and stopped me in my path, grabbing me by the shoulders and looking me in the eye. "I'm not kidding. Go. Home. You look like shit, you're being crabby, and you're not going to get any better by staying here."

"…you want me to go home?"

"Yes!" Sora and Kairi exclaimed simultaneously.

"Fine! I'll go home!" I yelled right back and turned around, making my way out to the student parking lot.

Truthfully, I really wasn't mad at them for "making me" go home. I welcomed it with open arms really. I was tired, my head still hurt, I was dizzy, and now I wouldn't have to face Axel in sixth period. That was good enough reason for me to get in my car and drive back to my house.

I don't even really remember getting home and parking in the driveway, much less getting up to my bedroom. But somehow I guess I did because I found myself collapsing on my bed and curling up into a ball, pulling down the blinds on the window and tugging the hood of my sweatshirt over my head.

"Kay…I'll nap for a little bit. But then I need to get up cause I'm not sick, I'm just overtired," I reminded myself and snuggled further into my pillows.

I don't remember the clock downstairs chiming noon and I don't remember closing my eyes, but as far as I knew, it wasn't long before I fell asleep still in a fetal position hidden in my sweatshirt.

* * *

I'm not sure how I managed to do it, but I slept through that entire afternoon, not even moving from my curled up position. I woke up for a short while around six that evening to my mom coming in and checking on me. I was still half-asleep, but I could make out Sora's figure standing next to her and hear him explaining everything about earlier that day. I knew that this was going to equate to me not going to school the next day but by that point I really didn't care. My head was still throbbing and I was freezing. After my mom and Sora left, I got up to find some aspirin, went right back to sleep and I didn't wake up again until the next morning.

The only reason I woke up when I did was because my cell phone rang next to my ear. Blindly reaching for it on the nightstand next to my bed, I found that I had a new text message.

_r u feeling any better Roxy?_

Kairi. She would be at lunch right now, which means that I just slept for practically 24 hours straight. Shit.

_no. _I sent back and burrowed further under the covers. 24 hours or not, I still felt like shit and I was uncomfortable and crabby and I wanted to die okay?

The thing is, I rarely, if ever, get sick. I usually have an immune system of steel but somehow it had failed me this time. I couldn't figure out why I was sick to begin with though. It wasn't like it was that cold out during this time of year and nobody else I knew was sick.

Point being, when I get sick, I admit, I turn into a whiny brat. I feel like it's justified. I really, **really **hate being sick.

_want me 2 come over later? i can bring u some soup and ur homework u've been missing since i no ur prbly beating urself up over it. _

On the other hand, being sick did mean getting soup and company which is nice. I could live with that.

_Sure. Come over after school. _

_k. c u then._

I stopped texting her after that and made myself comfortable again, or as comfortable as I could with a fever and chills running down my body. It was almost 12:30 then; I had at least another three hours before Kairi would stop by. So, as you may have guessed, I fell asleep again.

The next time I woke up it was due to the fact that someone decided to sit on the bed with me. The additional weight made the bed dip enough for me to notice and I opened my eyes, red hair coming into vision.

Problem was, it was the wrong shade of red.

"Morning sleepyhead," Axel greeted me with a large grin.

"I…hi? What are you doing here?"

"Well. Kairi said that she talked to you earlier today and that you weren't feeling good, so she was gonna bring you soup and stuff right? Well see, she seemed to forget that she had to work today, and she didn't want you to think she had forgotten about you so she sent me instead. Oh, and here's your soup." Axel leaned over toward the nightstand and brought a bowl of soup into my line of vision. "Kairi said you liked chicken noodle with more chicken and less noodles, and cut-up carrots."

I was going to kill her.

I knew what she was trying to do. I wasn't that stupid, and she better not be trying to pass it off like I am. She never had to work on Fridays. And besides, if she really couldn't have made it when she said she would, she could have sent everything home with Sora.

Bitch.

…then again, I **was **hungry and Axel **was **holding a bowl of my favorite soup in his hands and he didn't seem like he was going to attack me. Making a mental note to chew Kairi out later, I took the soup from Axel's hands and drank it, sitting back against the headboard of my bed with Axel watching me. It didn't take me long to finish. After all, I hadn't really been awake long enough to eat anything for the past two days. Setting the bowl off to the side again, I refocused on Axel.

Axel…right.

"So…" I started off, waiting to see if Axel would pick up the conversation on his own.

"So. How're you feeling? Any better?"

"Kind of." I shrugged, unsure of what to really say. Yes, I was feeling better physically. No, I was not feeling better about the fact that Axel was sitting in my room with me…alone.

"Well it's a start. You were really spacey the past couple of days," Axel remarked as he leaned back on his elbows.

"Yeah well. I don't even know how I got sick to begin with."

"I think I do."

"Yeah?"

"Probably when we went streaking on Halloween. It **was **pretty cold outside, remember?" Whether he was mocking me or not, I couldn't quite tell yet.

"Yeah…I guess that would make sense. Damnit, so this is Sora and Demyx's fault," I grumbled indignantly.

"Aw c'mon. It wasn't that bad. Besides, you're getting better."

"How can you tell?"

"Because you're starting to get feisty again," he laughed a bit, laughing harder when I glared at him.

"Shut up," I meant to say sharply but it turned more into a drawn-out whine.

"I'm kidding," Axel replied and we both knew he really wasn't. "Besides, don't you want to be getting better?"

"Well yeah."

"Then don't whine," he retorted, reaching out and flicking my nose with his fingers.

"Hey!" I rubbed my nose a bit. "Don't hurt the sick."

"Oh please, I barely touched you."

"Sure." I moved to lay back down again. "You didn't happen to bring me my homework too, did you?"

"Yeah, it's on your desk. Want it?"

"No. Not right now. I'm still kind of tired."

"…want me to leave so you can sleep then?"

"If you want," I said with a yawn and a shrug. "I don't really care too much."

Liar.

"I probably should. Demyx and I have plans to hang out with some old friends of ours tonight."

I swear I wasn't disappointed.

"Oh. Well then yeah, don't let me stop you. I'm probably just going to nap until Kairi comes back." Closing my eyes, I relaxed further into my pillow.

"You sure?"

"Yeah, go." I waved a hand in the direction of the door. "Thanks for the soup." I couldn't see what Axel was doing for the time being, but it was a few moments before he actually got off of my bed.

"…are you going to go to school on Monday?" He was somewhere by my head now.

"Probably…I'm pretty sure I'll be better by then."

"Good! I mean, you don't need to fall way behind, y'know?"

"…yeah, I know." A faint smile made its way onto my lips but my eyes remained closed. I couldn't risk looking at him yet. There were a few more moments of awkward silence in which neither of us moved or spoke. I was starting to fall asleep again and Axel…I suppose Axel was just standing there, I'm not entirely sure.

I wasn't quite sure what was happening, but the next thing I knew, there was a small pressure against my forehead and a hand running through my hair a few times. Opening my eyes a bit, I saw Axel removing his lips from my forehead and his hand from my head.

"Feel better, shorty." He stood upright and grabbed his backpack as he walked out of my bedroom down the stairs to the front door. By this point, my eyes were fully open again and I sat up in bed, crawling toward the window and peering out. Axel's car was parked outside on the street in front of my house and it wasn't long before the redhead appeared in my line of sight. Almost as if he knew I was watching, he paused by his car and looked up at my window, lifting his hand in a wave.

And yeah okay, so I smiled and waved back, so what? He seemed satisfied with that and got into his car, pulling away from the curb and heading back to Demyx's.

Flopping back on the bed, I continued grinning up at the ceiling for no reason…oh who am I trying to kid?

I had a reason. I had all the reason to be smiling right then and there. Axel kissed me. And I mean, maybe it wasn't a full-out kiss but it was still a kiss and it still proved that he didn't hate me and he wasn't mad that I chickened out.

I shouldn't have been so excited over something dumb like a kiss on the forehead, especially from somebody like Axel, but…I couldn't even begin to explain it.

I had definitely fallen for him. There was no more questioning about it, I was hooked. And yet, acknowledging that didn't make my problems any easier or solvable. To be honest, I had a feeling that the worst of it was still coming, but knowing that there was **something **there made it a little easier to prepare myself.

Now I just had to wait for Kairi to get here so I could thank her…right after I bitched at her, that is.

* * *

It's been a long journey, though the ending is once again in sight.

Thank you to anyone who is still supporting me and reading this story. I apologize for the year and a half long wait. I hope to work faster this next time around.

Thanks to everybody who reviewed chapter six as well.

This chapter has been posted un-beta'd by another person but I've read through it time and time again. Apologies if something sticks out as awkward or wrong. Thank you.

-Ty

* * *


	8. Just Like I'm Falling For The First Time

**Chapter Eight**

_I'm So Fly, That's Probably Why It Feels Just Like I'm Falling For The First Time_

* * *

I know, I know, adorable right? That was kind of my thinking too, only in less girly terms.

I mean really, I was still in a dreamlike state hours later and that's saying something. At least now it was more obvious that Axel was interested in me as more than a friend, even if it was just a little hint. It should have been smooth sailing from there on out, right?

Tch. I think we **all **know there was no way that was going to happen.

* * *

As it turned out, I didn't end up falling asleep again after Axel left. How could I? I was far too awake now.

Actually, I felt a little stupid because really now, who gets that excited over a simple kiss to the forehead? I give them to Kairi sometimes, they're really not a big deal. Though, if they weren't such a big deal, I shouldn't have felt the way I did.

Fuck you, hormones. Fuck you in the face.

It was at least another two hours before I even heard from Kairi. I was in the middle of my math homework when she suddenly barged into my room unannounced, dropping herself gracefully into my desk chair.

"Hey Kairi."

"Hey, you're awake!" She grinned. "How're you feeling?"

"Better…a lot better." I set my pencil down and gave her a semi-smug grin. She blinked for a moment, tilting her head in question before widening her eyes.

"Something happened with Axel, didn't it?"

"Did you really think I wasn't going to notice if you set me up? What the hell, Kai?" I countered back. She grinned even wider and leaned back against my desk chair.

"Look, I was just helping okay? Besides, it couldn't have been all bad if you're actually **beaming**_._"

"I'm not…" I started to say, but cut myself off because honestly, who was I trying to fool? It was just me and Kairi and I'm pretty sure I really was beaming. "Okay fine."

"Sooo, are you going to spill, or are you just going to leave me hanging?" She prodded, moving from the chair to join me on the bed. Closing my book and setting it off to the side, I propped myself up on my pillows and shrugged.

"Well…where would you like me to start?"

"The beginning of course."

"Figures. There isn't much to the story so I'm just going to get to the main point, oh my god, he kissed me."

"**What?**" Kairi practically squealed. "No way!"

"Well not on the mouth…just the forehead…but, that still means something right?"

"Well of course it means something! It means exactly what I've been trying to tell you all week, you bonehead, Axel likes you."

"Yeah maybe…but what if it was just like a friendly thing? I give you kisses all the time and we all know you and me are strictly platonic." Kairi rolled her eyes and gently poked me in the cheek.

"Oh come on, don't be like that. First of all, you do **not **give me kisses all the time. Only sometimes and **only **when I'm in a really bad mood or you're just feeling very affectionate. Secondly, you're doing that thing that you know I don't like."

"Which thing? Apparently I do a couple of things that you don't like."

"The negative thinking thing. Seriously, Roxas, the world isn't out to screw you over. And it **is **possible for people to actually like you like that, despite what you think." She pressed herself closer, draping her arms around me and laying her head on my shoulder. "So. What are you going to do now?"

"Truthfully?" I asked rhetorically, resting my head on top of hers in response. "I don't even know. What **can **I do at this point?"

"…kick it up a notch?" Kairi suggested, glancing up at me. "Think about it this way. If Axel's throwing you signs like that, take them and throw him bigger signs, but don't be too obvious about it because that's just embarrassing, but don't be so subtle that he won't understand them either."

"…what."

"Don't worry babe, I'll help you."

"I think you've already 'helped' enough as it is," I interrupted her. "I just…need to stop overreacting to everything. It's out of character, you know?"

"Not really…" she trailed off, pulling me even closer.

"Why not?"

"Well I mean…this is different. Yeah sometimes you're a little overdramatic and yeah, sometimes it's unnecessary to freak out about half the things you freak out about, but this is completely different because it's justified freaking out, although you really shouldn't be freaked out anyway because really, Roxas, Axel's about as harmless as a newborn kitten."

"Um, Kai? Newborn kittens are blind…and deaf."

"Exactly my point. Harmless."

"Right…" Looking out the window, my eyes met this tree that was growing alongside the house. Almost all of the leaves had either already fallen off or they were about to fall, brown, yellow, and orange in color. One leaf suddenly broke off from a branch and floated in the wind, dancing a bit before fluttering down to the ground.

If there was any significance about this one leaf, I'm not sure. Maybe there was a deeper meaning to it. Maybe it was a symbolic way of nature telling me I should break apart from everyone else and just follow my own path.

…or maybe it was just a natural phenomenon of nature that I was looking way too deep into.

Either way, Kairi once again (and I was starting to hate her for it) was right. While it was justified freaking out, I shouldn't have even been freaking out.

"Maybe I should just let things go naturally. I'm not a flirtatious person anyway," I said after a few moments of sitting in silence.

"Everyone has a different style of flirting, Roxas."

"I know but I'm really not good at it."

"Maybe you don't have to be…" she murmured. The two of us remained quiet after that, just sitting and leaning against each other. I'm sure we were both thinking the same thing though.

Sitting up a little taller, I gently pushed her off of me. "C'mon, I need some help with the math assignment from Thursday."

* * *

Kairi stayed at my house until about 12:30am helping me with my homework and generally just hanging out in my room. She had a 1am curfew she needed to make, so I couldn't really blame her for leaving when she did. However, after she left, I was still wide awake and now I was lacking company. Sora was spending the night at Riku's (I think, I actually wasn't sure) and my mom and Aunt Seiya were already asleep.

For a while, I sat up watching late-night cartoons on Cartoon Network and Disney. That kept me entertained until about three in the morning. Sometime between Kim Possible and Dexter's Laboratory, I turned off the TV and sat down at my desk, bringing my computer out of its hibernation mode. I hadn't checked my email or anything for the past two days.

Unfortunately that only took about ten minutes at the most. I never get email, and when I do it's completely junk. I had a few new Myspace comments but that was about it. Once again I found myself in a state of boredom. The only other thing I had left to do was sign into my AIM instant messenger and see if maybe by chance somebody was signed in this late.

As expected, mostly everyone on my buddy list was either signed out or had an away message. Kairi wasn't signed in, Sora's away message consisted of a heart which pretty much confirmed that he was in fact at Riku's, and Selphie wasn't signed in either. Demyx's away message was up, basically saying he was hanging out with Axel.

All in all, nobody was really online. Then I took a second look and noticed that there happened to be one person signed in. The only person I know that would be signed in and actually be sitting there at nearly 3:30am. Double-clicking on the screen name _CoinOperatedBoy_, I sent a message seeing if I would get an answer.

_Hey, you there?_

I didn't even minimize the window before I got a reply back.

**Of course. **

I should have figured as much. Sitting back in my chair, I pulled the keyboard closer and continued typing.

_Hey. Why are you on so late?_

**Same reason you are probably.**

_You can't sleep either?_

**You got it. Plus I'm working on the website a bit and just in general…yeah.**

…_you're working now? Why?_

**Can't sleep. Think we just went over this. Keep up with the program, Rox.**

_Sorry, sorry. _

**Where the hell have you been? I tried finding you yesterday but you were all MIA.**

_Yeah, I've been out since Wednesday with the flu. _

**Thanks for telling me.**

_Oh lay off. Not like you made any other effort._

**Shut up. What are you doing right now?**

_Nothing…talking to you…staring at the wall. Why?_

**I'll meet you at Denny's in ten minutes. **

…_are you kidding me?_

…

…_are you buying?_

**I guess. Just get your ass in your car and go. **

**CoinOperatedBoy is away at 3:23:16 am.**

_Wait a minute!_

**Auto response from CoinOperatedBoy: Denny's with Roxas.**

Well. Apparently I now had a cure for my boredom, **and **I was getting a free meal. Signing out from AIM and slipping on a hoodie, I grabbed my car keys and phone before silently heading downstairs and out of the house. The drive to the restaurant from my house is fairly short, so I got there roughly in the ten minutes I was supposed to get there. Parking and heading inside, I made my way to the back booth and slid in on the other side.

"I can't believe you want to eat this late," I said and picked up the menu that was waiting for me. The blond across from me continued fiddling with his glass of water, shrugging a bit.

"And I can't believe you aren't used to this by now," he replied, picking up the glass and taking a sip.

"Are you drunk?"

"Not right now."

This is Hayner.

While Kairi might be my **best, **best friend, Hayner follows with a pretty close second. If anything, he's my best friend of the same gender okay? Let's just put it that way.

Hayner and I have been friends for…shit, I don't even know. I'm pretty sure we met back when we were like, in preschool. He was my best friend when I lived in Twilight Town. We did everything together. Then I moved to the islands. We were still pretty close though.

Now, I'm going to bet that you're wondering how Hayner ended up here on the islands with me.

Hayner's always been sort of…rebellious. He gets into trouble a lot more than he should and eventually it finally all caught up with him. During freshman year, Hayner was pulled out of school and forced to go through boot camp as punishment for a bunch of shit he caused. His parents weren't happy with him and felt it was a good punishment.

After boot camp, Hayner's parents decided it would be best to move him away from Twilight Town with the idea that maybe he wouldn't get into as much trouble. The three of them moved here to Destiny Islands and Hayner started sophomore year with me and everyone else.

Even though we hadn't really had a chance to hang out for nearly six years, nothing had really changed about our friendship. The problem was…Hayner had changed.

But I won't go into that right now.

"So you're just randomly hungry?" I continued staring at the menu, trying to decide what I wanted.

"Pretty much. I didn't get a chance to eat dinner."

"…Hayner you work in a restaurant."

"I know, it was the dinner rush, I didn't take my breaks." Hayner shrugged and snapped his fingers to get the waitress's attention. The two of us ordered food and the waitress soon left us alone again. Glancing around, I noticed that besides an older man sitting at a table with a cup of coffee, Hayner and I were the only ones in the restaurant. Getting a better look at him, Hayner pretty much mirrored what I felt: wide-awake but still tired.

"I can't believe you really have to work so much when you're still in high school though."

"Whatever, it doesn't matter." He cut me off and grinned suddenly. "So hey, I haven't seen you since the end of August. What the fuck is up with that?"

"I know, things have been really…busy lately," I ended lamely, stirring my straw around in my soda.

"Busy huh." Hayner gave me a look that clearly said he wasn't buying it at all. I shouldn't have been surprised at all though, Hayner's a better bullshitter than I am.

"Well you know, senior year."

"Yeah I know, I'm there too. Seriously, I've even seen Kairi more than I've seen you."

"Okay, I get it. Sorry for being completely MIA, but it's not like you've really been trying either."

"I have a good excuse though."

"Which is?"

"Let's see." Hayner picked up his fork, tapping it on the table to emphasize each point he was making. "I work full-time, I go to school, I have homework, basketball season just started up and I'm captain this year, and Olette spends every break I get trying to tutor me so I can actually graduate."

Olette…yeah, the same Olette. Remember how I said I met her sophomore year through another friend?

Ahhh, see how this all connects? Here's the back story.

After I moved from Twilight Town, Hayner and Olette were in the same class and became really good friends. Right before high school started, right about the same time Hayner got thrown into boot camp, Olette's dad's job had him transfer to the islands. More or less, Olette was here waiting for Hayner when he got here, I was here, so naturally all three of us hang out together.

Another one of Hayner's friends, Pence, is also a part of our Twilight Town gang. Pence and I aren't really that good of friends, not like me and Hayner or me and Olette, but he's still a good guy and he's fun to hang out with. Sometimes we work together at school since he does the photography for the newspaper.

Lately, we haven't really had that much time to hang out because we're all really busy but I guess Hayner had a point; it had been a while since I actually saw him.

"Okay, okay, I see your point. I guess it **has **been a while."

"Cool, so we'll just do better at hanging out and make plans."

"It's a promise." Bumping our fists against each others, it was pretty much set that we were stuck with one another. But I didn't mind too much.

Our food arrived then and Hayner immediately started shoveling French fries in his mouth before turning his focus back on me.

"Anyway, what have you been so busy with anyway? Other than getting your braces off."

"Well…it's kind of a long story," I replied, eating my own fries.

"Yeah well…we're both here, there's nobody else around, so start talking." Hayner picked up his cheeseburger then and looked at me expectantly.

"School mostly. And I've been writing songs, or trying to anyway."

"Trying?" Hayner raised an eyebrow. "You're usually pretty good at writing songs, aren't you?"

"Yeah usually. But this time I'm trying to write love songs."

"…love songs? Roxas, you've never even been in love."

"Neither have you!"

"I'm still more experienced in the love department."

"Just because you fuck everyone you possibly can-"

"Shut up." Hayner glared before chewing on his cheeseburger again. "…anyway, love songs though?"

"It's this stupid bet I have going with Sora and Demyx. I have to write a successful love song before Battle of the Bands."

"…dude, you have plenty of time. Battle's not until May. What are you worried about?"

"Problem is, I'm beginning to think they're right. It's been two months since we made the stupid bet and I still can't write anything that's even remotely close to a love song."

Hayner finished his cheeseburger and pushed his fries around his plate, humming a bit. "Well…I'm sure you've already thought about this, but it's kind of hard to write a love song when you're not really in love, you know?"

"That's the thing though!" I said before I even realized the words left my mouth. Hayner's eyes snapped upward from his fries, staring at me intently.

"What's the thing…?" he asked slowly, making it clear that there was no way I could back out now.

"…okay you have to promise not to say anything. Understood?"

"Roxas. When have I ever broken that promise?"

"Well, you have a pretty big mouth."

"…point is," Hayner replied. "I'm not going to say anything. I've been keeping your other secrets secret for years."

"…yeah, you're right." Leaning back in my seat, I rolled my eyes up to the ceiling and sighed. "Okay so basically, I'm kind of…no wait, scratch that, I **am **interested in somebody." His eyebrows shot up into his hairline at that.

"**You?** You hardly show interest in anybody. Who is she?"

"That's the other thing…" I said slowly, gauging his reaction.

"…it's a guy? No way! Who is it? I'm not surprised but…damn!" He laughed a bit and leaned on the table, giving me his undivided attention.

…

…okay. Okay, okay, I know what you're thinking now. '**Um**, I thought you said Kairi was the only one who knew you were bisexual, Roxas!' While it's true that Kairi is one of the only ones who knows I'm bisexual, I forgot to take into account the one who made me realize it.

This is Hayner. We've made out a few times.

The thing is, Hayner's not really into guys…unless he's drunk. Then he figures it's all game.

Yeah, I don't really believe him either.

"I doubt you know him," I stalled a little longer.

"Try me. I know everybody."

"You're impossible. His name's Axel, he's-"

"The tall guy with bright red hair, I know."

"…how do you know all of these people?"

"Well, Axel's actually in one of my classes. Nice guy. Kind of a dick sometimes, but overall nice guy. You seriously like him though? Really?" Hayner continued giving me a skeptical look.

"Is that so hard to believe?"

"Axel just…doesn't seem like your type, that's all. Not that I get much say on what you type is because I mean, **I'm **your type."

Did I mention that Hayner's never let me live down the fact we've made out? Yeah, he likes reminding me of it.

"Yeah I know, I'm having a hard time believing it too, trust me. But there's just something about him…"

"Oh please don't get all gross on me now." The waitress brought us our check and Hayner snatched it away from me before I could see it. "How do **you **know him?"

"Hello? He's living with my guitarist, he works with my best friend, and he's in like, half of my classes. It's kind of hard not to know him at this point."

"True. But I'm still surprised you like him." Hayner fished out his wallet, pulling out a twenty dollar bill. "Am I missing something here?"

"He's the one who started it actually. He started hitting on me and…I don't know, I guess it just grew on me? I don't know, what am I even supposed to do about it?"

"Are you seriously asking me for relationship advice? I'm so bad at that."

"I'm not asking you for relationship advice," I corrected him, following him out of the booth and up to the front of the restaurant to pay. "I'm asking you for advice because you're one of my best friends and I know you always have something to say." Hayner sighed a bit and ignored me, paying for our meals and motioning for me to follow him outside. The two of us headed out to my car and jumped on the hood, laying back side-by-side.

"…okay. What have you done so far?" he asked, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a cigarette. Fishing through his other pocket, he found a lighter and lit up, keeping the cigarette in the hand further away from me.

"I don't know. We've been talking on the phone a lot and we almost kissed."

"Almost?"

"I freaked out and pulled away. But today he kissed me on the forehead."

"Woohoo." Hayner rolled his eyes and puffed on his cigarette a bit. "Look, it sounds like you're entering the friends' zone instead."

"The what…?"

"The friends' zone. It's that place you go to when you like somebody but they don't see you as more than a really good friend. Look, it sounds like you and Axel still have a chance of evolving into something more than friends but right now…you're heading that way."

"So how do I stop it?"

"Step it up."

"Funny, Kairi said the same thing to me."

"Yeah well, Kairi's smart. Point being, you need to step it up and show Axel that you mean serious business."

"How though?"

"Don't be retarded. Look, if he's already attracted to a bonehead like you, you really don't need to try hard. Be yourself and all that ego-boosting shit."

"What if I end up making a fool of myself?"

"So what?" Hayner shrugged and put out his cigarette. "I'm going to tell you this once. And only once. You're a good kid, Rox. If Axel can't like you even if you make huge mistakes and look like a total douchebag…then he's not worth it."

"I guess you're right…"

"Of course I am." He sat upright then and checked his watch. "…I should get going. I've gotta work in the morning."

"Did you want to crash at my place for the night?"

"…no, it's fine. They're still asleep, and I'll be asleep when they wake up. It's okay." Sliding off of the hood of my car, Hayner pulled me with him. "So what are you going to do?"

"Go home, catch up on my homework, and hopefully I'll have a plan for Monday to start dating Axel."

"Knew I taught you well." Hayner grinned and ruffled my hair. "Let me know how it goes, you know how to get a hold of me. And stop avoiding me and call me."

"Yeah yeah, same to you." Bumping our fists together again, Hayner waved over his shoulder as he started making his way back to his car and I got into mine, driving back to my house and thinking about everything that had been said to me that day.

It seemed that my two best friends were on the exact same wavelength…that had to account for something, right? I mean, they had to know what they were talking about.

But somehow, I still wasn't really convinced.

* * *

As it turned out, I was wrong; by the time Monday came around, I didn't have a plan to start dating Axel. Nor did I have one Tuesday…or Wednesday…you get the idea. This went on for nearly two weeks. And what did I do during those two weeks?

I hung out in the friends' zone.

Fuck my life.

It didn't help matters that now I had Kairi whispering advice to me every time I sat next to her in class, or Hayner giving me meaningful looks every time I passed him in the hallway. I shouldn't have even told those two, but there was nothing I could do about it now. At least it was only those two that knew instead of my entire circle of friends.

November always felt like the shortest month, despite the fact that it had 30 days versus the 28 that February has. I suppose it felt so short because of the three-day weekend for Veteran's Day and the fact that we got another four days off of school for Thanksgiving break.

This time, November felt especially short, probably because I was spending practically all of my free time trying to figure out what to do with Axel. It was retarded; honestly, it should not have been this hard. But before I knew it, it was the day before Thanksgiving and I was back at my house with Sora. School had only lasted half the day and the two of us were in charge of cleaning the house for company that would be coming over.

Company being another word for Grandma, Grandpa, and various aunts, uncles, and cousins.

So anyway, Sora and I were downstairs in the living room. He was busy dusting while I was polishing furniture. Yes, I was busy polishing furniture while still trying to figure out what the hell to do with Axel. My life sucked at that moment.

"I love Thanksgiving," Sora stated out of nowhere, stopping his dusting and sitting on the couch.

"That was random," I replied, flopping down on the couch next to him and tossing down my polishing rag.

"Not really. Thanksgiving's tomorrow."

"Yeah but…why do you love Thanksgiving?"

"Because!" He folded his arms behind his head and grinned at me. "Think about it, Roxas. Lots of food, everybody comes over, and I mean, I have a good life. I get to remind myself what I'm thankful for."

"Heh. Nothing good really happens in my life."

"Don't be stupid, you have a lot of good things in your life." Sora rolled his eyes.

"Such as?" I asked, turning my head to give him my full attention.

"Well first of all, you're alive. That in itself should be something to be grateful for. Secondly, you have a mother who loves you enough to make up for the fact that your father's gone. You have a huge family that loves you. Your best friends would bend over backwards to appease you and they've always got your back. You're smart, you're funny, you're almost famous, and you have a fantastic cousin who's always here to remind you that he's smarter than you but he loves you anyway," he finished, laughing a bit. "Seriously, Roxas, you've got a great life."

"I guess…but I mean, things usually don't grace me with their presence or whatever. I sometimes wish things would just…happen."

"…think about it this way," Sora paused, getting off of the couch and picking up his duster again. "Good things come to those who wait, but good things also come to those who give good things back."

"…you think?" I followed his example, getting to my own feet and grabbing the polishing rag.

"I know. Good karma." Sora nodded to himself. "Trust me, it'll work."

"…we'll try it your way, but what am I supposed to do to give good things back?"

"You'll figure it out." Sora finished dusting and dropped the duster on the table. "I gotta start working on the pies for tomorrow. Think about what I said." With that, he disappeared into the kitchen, leaving me with a duster, a polish rag, and a blank look on my face.

What kind of crap was Sora spewing now?

Giving good before receiving good? I'm pretty sure I was already doing that and besides, didn't that rule only apply during Christmas? Whatever.

Either way, there was no way that Sora's theory was gonna work. If it hadn't been working previously, why would it work now? But…I suppose it wouldn't hurt to try.

It was decided then; I was going to start giving more good in hopes to receive more good.

…starting the next day.

* * *

"Roxas, are you listening?"

"Yeah, sorry, I'm trying to mash potatoes. What were you saying?"

It was Thanksgiving Day. Mom and Aunt Seiya had left the house to pick up Grandma and Grandpa from the ferry dock, leaving me and Sora to finish the last-minute meal preparations. Sora was somewhere in the pantry trying to track down a can of cranberry sauce while I stayed in the kitchen…mashing potatoes and talking to Axel on the phone.

"I was **saying**, if you're not busy tomorrow, we should hang out. We'll go see a movie or something. Harry Potter's out."

"…you really want to go see Harry Potter?"

"Shut up, it'll be cool. This one has dragons and-"

"Dragons breathe fire, I know." Rolling my eyes and grabbing the milk, I focused on the task at hand. "But sure, sounds cool. I haven't seen it yet."

"Awesome. Call me tomorrow when you're free and we'll go then."

"Okay." Mixing the potatoes in the bowl, I readjusted the phone on my shoulder. "So what are you doing today?"

"Me and Demyx are going to his grandparents house in a little bit. He's doing some last-minute touches on some side dishes and then we're gonna head out."

"Sounds fun. But aren't you going to feel a little weird visiting with Demyx's family instead of your own?" He went quiet for a moment, the only sound being his breathing.

"…nah. Demyx's family's practically my family you know? We've been friends since we were in like, kindergarten."

"Yeah but-"

"Oh shit, Demy's done. Gotta go, happy thanksgiving, call me tomorrow!" Axel rushed through and abruptly hung up, leaving the dial tone ringing in my ear. Closing my phone, I put it back in my pocket and stared ahead of me.

What. The. Fuck.

What was Axel keeping from me now? He always did that, ducked out of conversation involving his family. I didn't understand it, it couldn't have been that bad.

I didn't really get a chance to dwell on it though. Shortly after I hung up with Axel, everyone came back to the house and dinner was ready. The rest of Thanksgiving was a blur, mixed up with relatives talking over one another and pie. I love pie. That's not that point.

Point is, things didn't get really interesting until the next day.

Since we didn't have school that Friday to honor Thanksgiving, I didn't get out of bed until nine the next morning.

Yeah, I know, that's really not that late considering Sora didn't get up until 11, but believe me that's late for me.

Most of the day was spent saying goodbye to the various relatives and cleaning up after them. I love my family, really, but they're really messy. Anyway, I didn't really finish until about five (which was actually pretty lame) so I hadn't had a chance to call Axel about our movie date.

Date…I had a date with Axel. Not that either of us actually used the word date, but what else could you call it? We were going to go to a movie without anybody else tagging along, just the two of us, in a dark theater.

And this time, I was going to kiss him to make it official.

But before I could even grab my phone to dial Axel's number, it started ringing in my pocket.

"Hey Kairi."

"Hi." She sounded bored, maybe a little depressed.

Great.

"…what's up?"

"Nothing…things are just slow here."

"Are you at work?"

"Yes. By myself. Alone," she emphasized.

"Is that why you sound depressed?"

"Kind of…"

"Kind of?"

"Yeah."

"…you're waiting for me to ask you what's wrong, aren't you?"

"Not necessarily."

"…okay what's wrong?"

"Nothing really…just not feeling that good, that's all." She sounded a little distracted too.

"Oh?"

"Yeah…"

"…what do you mean?" I really should have just stopped asking questions.

"You don't want to know." Oh, so now she was going to guilt-trip me.

"Yes I do."

"You'll freak."

"I will not. What is it?"

"I have really bad cramps."

"…gross."

"Told you!" she exclaimed. "I knew you'd be like that."

…I probably shouldn't have told her it was gross that she was a girl, but really? Totally didn't need to know that she was bleeding out of her vag.

The things I put up with for this girl.

"…are you going to be okay? I know how bad your cramps can get, and trust me, that's not something I really want to know but I do."

"I'll live. I only have four hours left anyway."

"Four hours? That's kind of a long time, Kai."

"Well I can't really do anything about it."

"Selphie can't cover for you?"

"Selphie's not in town, remember? She was going to her aunt's house for the entire break."

"Okay, well can't you call somebody in to cover for you?"

"Roxas, the only person left in town until tomorrow is Axel, and he's scheduled to have the day off."

"…he's the only one?"

"Yep. That's why I'm still here. If I could have, I wouldn't have even come in but…sacrifices I guess."

"…sacrifices…"

"Don't mind me. I'm rambling," Kairi replied.

Sacrifices…

I guess…there are just some instances where you have to do the right thing, even when it means putting yourself in bad positions.

Or losing a date with a really hot guy to see a movie about a boy wizard.

"…get ready and clock out."

"Roxas?"

"I'll be there to pick you up in 15 minutes." With that, I promptly hung up on her and hunted for my shoes, dialing Axel's number.

"Hey! About time," Axel answered almost immediately.

"Hey…listen, I need a favor from you."

"Oh? I'm listening."

"Look, I know it's your day off and you and I had plans but Kairi's not feeling good and I was kind of wondering…if you wouldn't mind covering the rest of her shift so I can take her home…?"

"…how long does she have left in her shift?" he asked, sounding a bit hesitant.

"Four hours. I know it's short-notice and a really shitty thing for me to try and convince you to do but-"

"I'll be at the coffee shop in 10 minutes."

"What?"

"I'll. Be at the shop. In 10," he repeated slowly, probably mocking me a bit.

"Thanks…you're the best."

"Yeah, I know." He hung up after that, leaving me with the dial tone and a new sense of respect for him.

I didn't really have time to dwell on that either though, I was already running late to pick up Kairi as it was.

As promised, I got to the coffee shop 15 minutes after I hung up with Kairi. She was already waiting for me on the curb when I pulled up. Unlocking the door for her, I waited until she was in the car and buckled up before driving back to our neighborhood.

"…thanks, Rox." Kairi leaned her head against the window, looking at me out of the corner of her eye.

"Sure. Are we going back to your house?"

"You don't have to if you don't want to," she started to object.

"Who's home at your house right now?" I countered back.

"Both of my parents are out of town. Dad had a business trip and Mom went with him."

"So you're by yourself until tomorrow."

"Yeah, I guess so."

Pulling into her driveway, I stopped the car and pulled out my phone before calling my own house.

"Hello?"

"Sora, it's me. Do me a favor and tell mom and Aunt Seiya that I'm spending the night at Kairi's."

"Uh…okay?"

"Thanks." Hanging up, I opened the car door and followed Kairi up to her house, waiting for her to unlock it.

"Roxas you don't have to stay the night if you don't want to. I'm a big girl, really." She unlocked the door and walked toward the living room.

"I know that. But…I want to. Besides, you hung out with me when I was feeling like shit and you know, I'm kind of obligated to make sure you don't die as your best friend."

"I'm not going to die…they're just cramps, Rox."

"Go change, I'm gonna hang out on your couch."

"…I'm not going to win this argument, am I?"

"Nope, so you should probably quit while you're still ahead." Rolling her eyes, Kairi turned and headed up the stairs to her room, leaving me alone in her living room. Turning on the TV and flopping on the couch, all I could do was turn channels until I found something interesting…or at least until Kairi came back.

It didn't take long before Kairi came back downstairs out of her uniform and wearing her pajamas, stopping behind the couch and staring at the TV.

"Roxas…"

"Yeah."

"This is 'What Women Want'."

"Yeah."

"…you hate that movie," she replied, moving around and joining me on the couch.

"I know."

"So…?"

"So, it's one of your favorites and you're feeling sick and I'm being a good person and tolerating it just for you." She blinked in surprise, sitting next to me and watching me instead of the movie.

"But…"

"Kairi. Deal with it okay?" She went silent again, turning to face the TV and laying her head on my shoulder.

Somehow, we usually end up like that. Her laying her head on my shoulder, me draping an arm around her, and her curling up even closer. I guess I can see how people sometimes see me and Kairi as dating but, never gonna happen. Even if I wasn't head over heels for Axel, it just wouldn't work. We know too much about each other and we've been friends for way too long to make a relationship work.

The thing is though, Riku and Sora have been friends for even longer than me and Kairi have been and they're going on their fifth year of dating exclusively. And even further, let's talk about the fact that Hayner and I had been friends for ages too and we've made out a couple of times. It didn't make sense. None of it made any sense.

"Relationships don't make sense." Kairi opened her eyes and looked up at me.

"Where'd that come from?" she asked, shifting so she was more on her side to face me better.

"Just…thinking. Trying to figure some stuff out."

"Stuff between you and Axel?"

"Not exactly. More like stuff between me and everybody who exists in my life."

"Such as…?"

"Well like, why I'm not attracted to you after knowing you for so long, but Sora and Riku are practically married and they've known each other for even longer. Or why I'm not attracted to anybody except Axel. Or why Hayner and I did what we did even though I've never really been attracted to boys before and he's never…yeah."

"So what's the problem here?"

"Problem is, none of it makes sense."

"Relationships don't have to make sense. That's what makes them so compelling and so wonderful. That spark of interest and mystery."

"That's probably what part of my problem is then."

"What, that you don't like being left in the dark and you hate surprises? Yeah, I'd say that that is a problem." Kairi grinned a bit and ruffled my hair. "Roxas just stop thinking it over. It'll all come in good time, I promise. Like I said earlier, it might not be easy and it might not be in the way that you want it to be, but it will happen if it's supposed to happen and I believe it's supposed to happen."

"And so what, I just have to be more obvious, right?" I sighed, laying my head on top of hers.

"Yes."

"You and Hayner must be mentally linked, seriously."

"Or maybe we just talked about it."

"…did you?"

"You'll never know, now will you?" she giggled a bit.

"Kairi."

"Shh, watch the movie," she successfully cut me off and returned her attention to the movie, forcing me to do the same.

* * *

Three more chick-flicks, a large pizza, and a few tummy-rubs later, Kairi was asleep and both of us were laying in her large bed. She was curled up on her side and I was laying on my back, staring straight up at the ceiling. It was about midnight and it was quiet in Kairi's house. Nobody else was home and everything on the island was quiet as well.

I couldn't stand it.

Apparently, I didn't have to stand it for very long because suddenly my phone rang on the nightstand next to me. Frantically reaching for it before the sound woke up Kairi, I flipped it open before looking at who it was.

"Hello?"

"Bad timing?"

"Axel, hi. No, why do you ask?"

"Because you're whispering?"

"…oh right." Crawling out of Kairi's bed, I quietly slipped out of her room and down the stairs into the living room. "Hey sorry, Kairi was sleeping. What's up?"

"Nothing really. Just got home."

"You were at work for that long?"

"Nah. I worked and then me and Dem went out with some other friends. He's still over at this one guy's house but I decided to call it a night and come back early. So what are you up to?"

"Hanging out here at Kairi's. Her parents are gone until tomorrow so I'm spending the night."

"How's she doing?"

"Better. She apologizes by the way."

"Not a big deal, you and I can always catch a movie another day y'know?"

"Yeah…yeah I guess."

"Besides, that was a really…sweet thing of you to do," he said, struggling over the word almost.

"Sweet?"

"Yeah. I don't know many people who would cancel plans with their friends in order to set them up to help out another friend."

"You almost make it sound like a bad thing."

"It's not. Trust me, Kairi's lucky to have you."

"Well…I'm lucky to have her too I guess," I replied, not really knowing where this conversation was going.

"I was starting to have some doubts about you."

"What?"

"You kind of seemed a little selfish but you know, this pretty much proved that you're not." Whether he was teasing me or not, it was hard to tell, again. It was always hard and really, it pissed me off.

"Stop kidding around."

"I'm not. You kind of changed my opinion about you."

"…yeah?"

"You're a good kid, Roxas. Anybody would be lucky to have you around."

"I…" I stopped, trying to figure out what else to say to that. "Thanks," I ended lamely.

"Yeah don't mention it. Really, just don't." Axel cleared his throat and changed the subject. "So I think you owe me a movie date. I'm kind of busy the rest of the weekend, but what about next weekend? You're free right?"

"Um…I guess so?"

"Cool. No backing out this time, got it memorized?"

"Right. No backing out."

"Cool. We'll talk more about it later, I should let you go back to your patient."

"Right. I'll talk to you Monday?"

"Oh no, you'll probably hear from me tomorrow. You can't get rid of me that easily."

"Whatever. I'll see you later."

"Yeah. Night, Roxy."

"Night." It didn't occur to me until after I hung up that he had called me Roxy. Usually, it would have annoyed me but you know, I found that I wasn't that bothered.

And how do you like that? Even after sacrificing probably what was going to be the highlight of my Thanksgiving vacation to make a girl with disgusting cramps feel better, I managed to get it back. **And **Axel had called it a date, which pretty much made it official.

Kairi was right I guess. Relationships didn't have to make sense. Axel didn't make sense. I didn't make sense. Nothing made sense okay? But maybe it was okay. Everything was going to work out.

Funny thing was, and I only realized this after I climbed back into bed and felt Kairi curl up closer to me, no matter what she did and how many times I damned her to hell for messing things up Kairi managed to make everything work out for me.

I guess you could say that I was pretty grateful for everything. Life was good, things were falling into place and all that crap.

Guess Sora was right too, good things come to those who give good things back.

That night, laying in a sea of lavender sheets with a redheaded girl resting her cheek on my chest, I came to a conclusion that my life was pretty awesome and I just needed to be more patient. Things were definitely moving a lot slower than I would have liked, but they were coming.

Besides…

I'm already in love, so what other kind of shenanigans could I get into?

* * *

This update came out a lot sooner than the last one, didn't it? Thanks to everyone who read the last chapter and to everyone who's read this one. Again, this chapter has gone unbeta'd but reread by me time and time again. Please ignore any small errors. Enjoy, sorry this chapter didn't really do much in the way of Axel and Roxas, but the pace will pick up, I swear.

-Ty


	9. You Got Me Going, You're Oh So Charming

**Chapter Nine**

_You Got Me Going, You're Oh-So-Charming_

* * *

Just because good things kept happening even when Kairi screwed me over didn't mean that I wanted her to keep interfering. I wanted to do things for myself. I'm kind of an independent person.

That's a lie. I'm a very independent person.

But the thing is, even though she kept interfering with my life I was starting to mind less and less. Besides, it wasn't like I couldn't handle this myself. I figured I could just ignore her and everything would go the way I planned it, no surprises, no sudden turns, nothing.

Too bad nobody informed the rest of the world.

* * *

The rest of that weekend was spent at Kairi's or at my own house finishing up homework that was assigned before break. Axel was right though, that wasn't the last I heard from him. I'm pretty sure we talked at least three times Saturday and twice on Sunday.

And then I saw him in class on Monday anyway, so really, it wasn't too bad of a sacrifice to give up a date with him that past Saturday.

Neither of us mentioned it while we were at school. I guess it was because we had more important things to focus on, like the fact that it was nearly December and teachers were busy slamming us with work to prepare us for final exams right before Christmas break.

Or maybe it was the fact that I wasn't even really giving him a chance to say anything about it while we were at school. Just because **I **was calling it a date didn't mean I wanted everybody else in the school to know it was a date.

"So, I heard you have a date this weekend." A pile of books slammed down next to my head on the table I was sitting at in the library.

"Yeah and I heard that you're failing Chemistry," I retorted. Hayner rolled his eyes and pulled out a chair, sitting across from me. "How'd you even know I was in here?"

"I didn't. Olette made me come here to study on my own because I don't have time to study with her after school today."

"Why not?"

"Basketball practice. Coach is having us stay longer and since I'm captain, I need to spend more time there anyway. Plus! Guess what?"

"Um…what?" I guessed, finally looking up from my notebook to give Hayner my full attention.

"Coach's got scouts coming out to the play-off game. **College **scouts!" Hands flailing in an excited manner, Hayner's grin widened.

"…meaning…"

"Meaning, I might have a chance at a basketball scholarship! I could actually get off the islands!"

"That's awesome!"

"**I know!**" The librarian suddenly looked over at us, scowling and bringing a finger to her lips in a warning. Flashing her an apologetic look, I looked back at Hayner again.

"Hopefully you do then, that'd be a great chance for you," I replied, looking down at my notebook again.

"I know right? You're going to come to that game aren't you? It's next week, right before break and you're like my best friend and you have to come okay?"

"Sure, you know I'll be there. You have a huge-ass support system that'll be waiting to congratulate you when you wipe the floor with the other team."

"Yeah, I better." Hayner grinned and propped his head up with his hands. "So, now if you're done changing the subject…who's the date with?"

"Who do you think? How'd you find out anyway?"

"Kairi told me. She figured it'd be cool since…y'know, we both know."

"I'm going to kill her."

"Relax…you know you would have told me anyway. So. Where are you guys going?"

"Right." I snorted, rolling my eyes. "Not like I'd tell you **that**. You'd probably end up following me or something."

"Give me some credit. I have better things to be doing besides stalking you on your date with Axel."

"I think we're going to see the new Harry Potter movie. That's what we talked about last weekend but then I ended up taking care of Kairi and all that shit."

"…that's your date?"

"What's wrong with that?"

"Just…seems so simple." He raised an eyebrow.

"Says he who doesn't even date."

"At least I know how to have a good time."

"Perv. Anyway, I have to start small, work my way up."

"What if you just fucked him and got it over with?" he suggested, barely glancing at his Chemistry notes.

"…no."

"You know you want to."

"Yes. But no, I'm not going to have sex with him when we're not even dating. I'll leave casual sex to you, my man-whore of a friend."

"Roxas, you wound me." He tugged on my notebook then. "What are you working on anyway?"

"Songs, to be honest. Battle's in five months and I haven't really found anything that can work as a love song."

"Lemme see?" Before I could even give him a real answer, he took the notebook from my hands and flipped through the pages. "…are these all supposed to be love songs, 'cause right now they look like a bunch of fragments of stuff."

"Give me that!" Snatching the notebook away from him and putting it in my bag, I shrugged in response. "I don't know what they're supposed to be. It's hard…I mean I'm like, in love with him but I don't know what to write and that's probably because at the same time, I'm not really in love with him because it's too soon to say I'm in love with somebody who I'm not even really dating you know?"

"…right." Hayner shrugged and gave up looking at his books, packing them up and following me out of the library. "So you're going out with him on a date."

"Yes."

"Are you going to try and take it further than that?"

"I don't know."

"Roxas it's Thursday. You have until what, tomorrow to figure it out? I suggest you work fast. This could be your big opportunity."

"It's…not that easy, Hayner."

"Sure it is. Why isn't it?"

"I just don't want to do something stupid."

"A little late for that." He glanced down at his watch. "Whatever, I gotta go to practice. Call me if you start freaking out about this date again okay?"

"…sure. I guess so." Waving at him, I headed out of the building and got in my car. Sitting still for a few moments, I contemplated my options. I didn't have the slightest clue what I was supposed to really do on a date. When Olette and I were going out, we never really went on date-dates, usually we were hanging out with a group of friends and she just happened to be a friend I kissed sometimes. That's part of why we broke up to begin with, actually. I wanted to avoid that from happening again.

I didn't want to, but I knew exactly what I needed to do for the best possible advice.

* * *

"So. Can I ask you a hypothetical question?" I asked, peering over the rim of my latte cup at the girl behind the counter.

"Hypothetical huh?" Selphie grinned, wiping a spot on the counter before leaning on her elbows and staring me in the eye. "Lay it on me."

I knew I was taking a really big chance asking **Selphie **of all people for advice about my date with Axel, mostly because Selphie has the biggest mouth ever. But on the other hand, she was a huge romantic and always gave out really good relationship advice. Seriously, ask anybody in our group. You need help with that kind of thing, you ask Selphie and she always knows what will work.

"Okay. Let's say, hypothetically, a good-looking guy has been flirting with somebody for a really long time. Like, the past few months."

"Okay. You've been flirting with somebody since school started," she interpreted.

"I didn't say it was me!"

"I know but really, Roxas? The only time anybody uses a hypothetical question is when it's about them and they're too embarrassed to say so." So she had a point, so what?

"…okay so yeah, I have. Point being, I have a date this weekend and…you know me, I don't usually date."

"So…you're asking me for dating advice?" I saw her eyes go wide, obviously thrilled by the idea.

"Something like that. I just want to know like…well if it was your first date with a new guy, what would you expect from him?"

"Depends. Where are you going?"

"There's no way I'm telling you. Kairi doesn't even know."

"Why not?" She tried again, pouting at me and widening her eyes further. "You gotta tell if you want my help."

"Sorry, Selph, that's not going to work on me. Come on, can't you just help me out of the goodness of your heart?"

"Maybe."

"I'll leave you a nice tip when I leave."

"…deal." She placed the tip jar in front of me and pursed her lips in thought. "Well…depends, have you hung out before in a date-like setting?"

Thinking back to my birthday, I nodded. "Something like that."

"Even if it's just a casual date like dinner and a movie, I would expect the guy to treat me like a princess. Y'know, open doors for me and pull out my chair and pay for the meal and hold my hand and stuff." A dreamy look was in her eyes and I'm pretty sure by this point I looked a little disgusted. There was no way in hell I was going to let Axel pull my chair out for me and hold my hand in public.

Paying for my meal was still up for debate though.

"Yeah well…we'll see. I don't have to dress up or anything, right?"

"No, not if it's a simple date. Unless you're going to a fancy restaurant."

"We're not."

"Just make sure you wear something semi-nice though. First dates are supposed to give off a good impression and if you dress like a slob you'll ruin that effect."

"I guess I'll have to figure that part out then."

"Maybe you should tell me where you're going so I can advise you on what to wear," she said nonchalantly, giving me a casual grin with a sneaky look in her eyes.

"**No**, Selphie. Give it up, I'm not telling you where I'm going."

"You abuse me, Roxas. You ask for my help and I give you great material, and all you do is use me." Sighing dramatically, Selphie covered her eyes and pretended to really be upset about it. Lucky for me, I knew her better than she thought.

"Oh quit it. I have one last thing to ask."

"What's that?"

"Do you think kissing on the first date's okay? Or is it like…a taboo thing?"

"Isn't Taboo a game?"

"Not the point, Sel."

"Right." She finally removed her hand from her eyes and looked at me again, green eyes still flickering with interest. "Well, as long as your date's not prudish or like, Amish or something, I don't see why it'd be a bad thing. But don't walk into it being all, 'okay I'm totally going to make out with my date as soon as we're alone and it's dark' because that just makes you a pig and definitely not romantic."

"Huh. I see…"

"Why, you weren't already planning it were you?" An arched eyebrow showed Selphie's skepticism.

"Not exactly."

"Roxas. If you **do **end up kissing on the first date, it's got to be natural otherwise it'll just get awkward and weird. Do **not **plan it out, just go with the flow and if it's supposed to happen it will. That's the best advice I can give you right now."

"And surprisingly it helps," I countered and got up from my place on the bar stool, throwing away what was left of my latte and tossing a five dollar bill into the tip jar. "Thanks for everything, Selphie."

"Sure, anytime. Promise to tell me if it goes well?"

"…we'll see." Giving her another grin and waving goodbye, I headed back out to my car to finally go home and contemplate everything Selphie had just said.

* * *

It wasn't until later that evening that I realized something very important about my conversation with Selphie.

I started out asking her about a good-looking guy who's been flirting with somebody for a while. Then she just kind of went off on her own from there.

The thing was, I wasn't even talking about myself. I was actually referring to Axel.

Furthermore, I realized that Selphie never actually asked me **who **I was going out with. All she wanted to know was where, which was kind of weird because usually Selphie wants to know everything. But no, never once did she actually ask me who it was I was going out with. I'm not sure if that should be a relief or a concern.

I mean, it wasn't like I had to worry about her finding out it was **Axel **of all people, not really anyway. I've never given Selphie a reason to question what was going on between me and Axel, and I've never given her a reason to think I wasn't straight. However, she was Kairi's best friend of the same gender. To put it metaphorically, Selphie is to Kairi as Hayner is to me.

…shit, that's not a metaphor.

…oh whatever! The point is, and I'm not saying I don't trust Kairi with my entire being, they're really close. If anything I was more worried about Selphie being able to read Kairi well enough to put the pieces together. I knew Kairi wouldn't tell her though, she couldn't. She's too loyal to me to do that. What I needed to do now was focus on what was coming at me the next night and not what could possibly happen between the two girls.

Friday came a lot faster than I expected. Friday night came even faster. One minute I was at school taking a math test and the next I was at my house sitting on the couch waiting for Axel to come pick me up. We had decided it'd be easier to just take one car instead of taking both. It was almost eight in the evening, the movie started in half an hour.

On the bright side, I wasn't nervous about this date like I was when we were going over to Twilight Town. Maybe I was finally just used to him enough that being alone with him didn't faze me at all. Who knew?

A car honked outside of the house and I took that as my cue to get up and head out the door.

"Be back later!" I hollered over my shoulder to anyone who was home to listen, opening the front door and slamming it behind me. Axel was parked on the curb in his Mustang, music blaring from the inside as he waited for me.

"Hey," I greeted him and slid into the passenger seat, barely having time to slam the door before Axel pulled away from the curb and peeled off down the street.

"Sup," he replied, looking away from the road and grinning at me.

"We're leaving pretty early aren't we?"

"Yeah we kinda are…but I want to get there to get good seats away from other people."

"Watch the road." Pushing on his cheek to make him face forward, I also turned down the music enough to talk without yelling. "You really think it's going to be crowded? Opening weekend was a few weeks ago."

"Yeah but it's also Friday night," Axel countered back, turning down the street and stopping at the light. "Besides, you know you want to spend as much time with me as possible."

"Oh don't flatter yourself." I rolled my eyes, even though we both knew he was right. The light turned green and Axel sped through the intersection, turning right at the end of the street and pulling into the parking lot of the theater.

"End of the line." Axel turned off the car and looked back at me again. "You sure you wanna go through with this? It's not too late to turn around now." He looked amused really.

"Shut up and let's go," I retorted, climbing out of the car and following him into the movie theater. He grabbed the door and held it open, ushering me inside before heading over to the ticket counter.

Dating point one, holding the door open for me.

Approaching the ticket counter, I began fishing around for my wallet and joined Axel in line.

"Two please," he directed to the girl behind the counter, pulling out his own wallet and paying for the tickets. Taking them from the girl's hand, he dragged me by the wrist toward the snack bar. "I'm getting popcorn, do you want anything?"

"Uh…Sour Patch Kids?" He ordered both snacks without any hesitation, paying for them and handing me the box of candy.

"C'mon, previews are probably starting by now." Grabbing me by the wrist again, Axel led us into the theater, handing the ticket guy our tickets and heading up to the top row of seats.

Dating points two and three; buying my "dinner" and "holding my hand".

Maybe Selphie did know what she was talking about.

There were already quite a few people in the theater but they were sitting in front of us for the most part or paying attention to each other. Axel was more occupied with his popcorn at that point, tossing kernels in the air and catching them in his mouth.

"Pre-warning, I don't know the Heimlich if you choke." He looked at me and shrugged.

"I don't choke on anything," he replied and went back to his popcorn launching, leaving me to open my candy and sit back.

"So why Harry Potter?"

"Why not? I've read the books, this one has dragons and cool effects, and everything else out right now I've already seen or it's a shitty movie."

"Guess that makes sense…"

"Besides, you didn't seem to object when I suggested it."

"Nah, guess I didn't."

"Shh, previews." Axel nudged me and turned his attention to the silver screen. We watched the previews in silence, him munching on popcorn and myself nursing my candy.

The silence didn't last long though. As soon as the movie started, I had an Axel with his lips against my ear whispering about everything that was happening on the screen.

Not that I objected any; he smelled awesome. Like cologne and cigarettes.

The movie was a lot longer than I expected. An hour went by…followed by two. The ending was drawing near and Axel had stopped whispering by that point, caught up in what was happening on the screen.

I don't even really remember what was happening; I think it was the final challenge in the maze. It didn't matter, it was near the end and it was intense to watch. Problem was, it felt like I was being intensely watched instead. Turning my head to the left, I noticed that Axel was focused on me again instead of the movie.

"…what's up?" I whispered, keeping one eye on the movie and one on Axel.

"…hmm." Axel hummed a bit, still keeping his full attention on me.

"What?" I whispered again, turning in my seat to face him completely.

Axel suddenly leaned forward and cupped my chin in his hand, holding me steady for a few moments. I knew exactly what was going on, but that didn't make it any less surprising when Axel tilted his head and closed the distance between us, pressing his lips up against mine.

For the first ten seconds, I'm pretty sure I just sat there wide-eyed and shocked. Here I was in the back row of the movie theater with a boy wizard waving a wand around on the screen and I had one of the hottest guys that I've been infatuated with for the past two months finally kissing me. It was surreal almost.

Axel was getting a little impatient though, trying to coax me into kissing him back at least. Parting my lips, closing my eyes, and tilting my head slightly, I kissed him back.

I'm pretty sure the sparks I saw behind my eyelids weren't coming from Potter's wand.

We stayed in that position, keeping it a steady open-mouthed kiss while the movie continued playing. Axel's hand moved to the back of my head, threading through my hair while his tongue suddenly swept along my bottom lip, almost asking permission for entrance.

You think I was going to stop him?

It…was different, kissing Axel with tongue. I mean don't get me wrong, it's not like I've never kissed a boy this way before (Hayner will be the first to remind me of that), but this felt so much more…pleasurable. Hot. Complete.

I felt complete, like everything was finally solved.

Almost as abruptly as it began it ended as Axel pulled back, giving me a small smirk and letting his hand rake through my hair once more before dropping to my shoulder. Fingers danced along my shoulder and up my neck but Axel's eyes were fixated on the movie. I tried paying attention to the last bit of the movie but it was kind of hard to focus with Axel toying with my neck and the memory of what had just happened.

Soon enough, or maybe not soon enough I don't even know, the credits began rolling across the screen and the house lights flickered on. People began filing out of the theater and Axel removed his arm from me, standing up as well.

"Ready to go?" he grinned down at me and raised an eyebrow.

Hell yeah I was.

* * *

How I ended up in the passenger's seat of Axel's car with his mouth attached to my neck and my back pressed against the window I still don't quite understand.

But hey, I most definitely wasn't about to complain about it.

After we left the movie theater we drove back to my house and we parked on the curb, letting the car idle with the radio playing in the background.

"So…" I started out, glancing over at him.

"So?" he repeated, tilting his head in question.

"Thanks for taking me out tonight."

"Sure, no problem. It was fun."

"Fun enough to do again?"

"Probably." He grinned, turning in his seat.

"Awesome." The word barely left my mouth before Axel leaned over and kissed me again, sufficiently stopping me from saying anything else.

This time the kissing went further, longer even. This was how I found myself against the car door with Axel kissing and biting at my neck.

"Mmh…hey, not in front of my house," I finally said ten minutes later. Axel pulled his mouth away after one last lick, a satisfied look in his eyes.

"Right, right, sorry." He sat upright in his seat and glanced over at me again. "So, guess this is good night?"

"Guess so. Call you later?"

"I'd hope so."

"Right…" Grinning and opening the door, I stepped out of the Mustang and onto the sidewalk. "I'll talk to you later then."

"You better." Putting the car back into drive, he leaned over and reached for the door handle. "Later, Roxy!" With that he slammed the door and waved once more before pulling away from the curb and driving off to his own house. I waited until the Mustang rounded the corner before pumping my fist in the air and dancing a bit in the street.

"Yes!" Breaking out into a run, I raced away from my house and down the street, rounding the corner and turning onto another street. I didn't even bother knocking before letting myself into Kairi's house and launching myself up the stairs to her bedroom.

"Kairi!" Throwing her bedroom door open, I let myself in without any prior warning. "I need to tell you ab-augh! Demyx?"

"Roxas!" Kairi exclaimed from her place under Demyx, pushing the mohawked boy off of her and closing her shirt around her body.

"Dude, learn to knock!" Demyx added, leaning over the side of the bed and grabbing his own shirt.

On the bright side, both of them were still wearing their pants.

"You…he…**what?**"

"…I should go." Demyx slipped his shirt on and got off of Kairi's bed. "Call you tomorrowish?"

"Sure." Kairi began re-buttoning her shirt, pulling Demyx down slightly and brushing her lips against his. "Bye."

"Later." He kissed her back briefly and headed for the door, giving me a nervous smile. "And I'll see you tomorrow at practice right? Yours and Sora's place?"

"Yeah. Tomorrow," I replied. Demyx didn't say any more before he bolted out of the room and down the stairs, exiting the house completely. Refocusing on Kairi, I stood at the foot of her bed and folded my arms over my chest, giving her my best glare.

"What?" she asked me, raising an eyebrow but otherwise not affected by my glare.

"You and Demyx? What the hell, Kairi?"

"Don't act so surprised. You already knew that Demyx and I liked each other, so this shouldn't be a big deal. So he had my shirt off, so what?" She sat up and got off of her bed, crossing the room and disappearing into her closet.

"It kind of is a big deal because I was **not **expecting that."

"I know you weren't but you know, it's my room. You could knock." She reappeared shortly after now dressed in her pajamas. "But we'll discuss that later…what're you doing here? You look like you have something interesting to say."

"Oh right!" I sat on her bed and faced her. "Okay so, guess where I just came back from?"

"Um…" Kairi hummed in thought, sitting next to me. "Oh! Your date! What happened, tell me everything."

"Do you really want to know everything, or do you just want me to skip to the important parts that really matter?"

"…okay yeah, you can fill me in on the tiny details later. So tell me, what happened? Did you finally kiss him?"

"Oh…only a couple of time." A smug grin made its way onto my face as Kairi's eyes widened.

"Seriously? Roxas!" She giggled a bit, smile growing as she practically bounced on her bed.

"Yeah seriously. Oh my god, Kairi, I don't even know."

"Is he a good kisser at least?"

"Ridiculously good. Then again, I generally don't kiss people so my perspective could be a little off and I sound like a 12-year-old girl right now don't I?"

"Don't worry, I won't tell anybody you're flailing over this. I also won't tell anybody about that nice hickey on your neck." She grinned, lightly touching the area.

"Damn it," I replied, hand flying up to cover the spot. "Anyway, it was pretty much a successful night."

"I'll help you cover that before you go home," she said in regards to the mark on my neck. "Well that's good. So are you guys dating now?"

"Ah…I don't exactly know. I don't think we actually talked about it."

"Rox-as," Kairi drawled out my name, glaring a bit. "Isn't that what got you all twisted up last time? Not talking about it?"

"Well I mean it wasn't exactly what was important at the moment you know."

"Just saying. Talk to him before it gets bad okay?"

"Yeah yeah whatever. I'm crashing here tonight by the way."

"Why?" she asked as I hunted around her bed for the remote control to her TV.

"Because that's what I told my mom and Sora I was doing tonight."

"Roxas, why don't you just tell them about Axel? You know they would understand and quit glaring at me like that."

"They don't need to know," I replied and turned on the TV. "Oh hey, a Made marathon."

"I thought you hated that show." Kairi lay on her stomach next to me, knowing that she had pretty much lost this round.

"I do usually, but I think it's funny all the same."

"You're so weird."

"Yeah well, I'm not the one making out with Demyx. What's **that **all about?"

"I already told you. We like each other, so why not?"

"Something just seems really weird to me, that's all."

"Hey now. I don't tell you who you can and can't date; I expect the same from you." Pushing her hand against the side of my head, she turned up the volume a little bit. "C'mon, I thought you wanted to watch Made."

"Right right." Settling down next to her and grabbing a pillow, I was actually busy replaying the entire night in my head.

What a night.

* * *

"So I was thinking-"

"Which usually isn't a good sign," Demyx cut Sora off with a large grin on his face. Saturday afternoon found the three of us upstairs for band practice. Or, what should have been practice and was quickly turning into my drummer and guitarist fucking around while I drew stick people in my notebook.

"Do you want to know what I'm thinking or not?" Sora said flatly, this time looking more at me than Demyx.

"Depends, does it involve this band?" I replied, staring at the words I had previously written. "What rhymes with vicious?"

"Bootylicious?" Demyx shrugged, carefully replacing a string on his guitar.

"Now see, you're not even trying to be helpful now."

"Hey! I got us a gig and you're not even listening!" Sora finally shouted. Demyx and I instantly looked up from what we were doing to face him.

"**That's **because you weren't saying the right words. What do you mean you got us a gig?" I asked immediately.

"Well think about it this way. I'm on the student activities committee **and **I'm on the student council."

"How can we forget? You're the vice president of the school, Sora amongst other things," Demyx pointed out. "What does this have to do with anything?"

"Well, we were planning for Sadie's right? Well some people were bitching about how expensive a DJ's gonna be and how we couldn't book one cause the dance is next weekend and so **I **said that I knew this band that would be absolutely honored to play at the dance for the night for half the cost of the DJ." He looked pretty proud of himself, twirling one of his drumsticks between fingers.

"…so wait, you're saying you signed us up to play at the Sadie Hawkins dance?" Demyx raised an eyebrow. "Why?"

"Because," Sora started to say.

"Because," I smoothly interrupted. "The more exposure we get, the bigger fan base we'll get, and the bigger fan base we get, the better chances we have at battle, see?"

"…dude," was all Demyx said.

"Dude," Sora affirmed.

"Sora, you're awesome. So! That means we need to start practicing songs guys!"

"You realize that means we're practically required to do a cover of Relient K's 'Sadie Hawkins Dance'?" Demyx pointed out.

"How hard can that be to learn?" Sora shrugged. "What we really need is to figure out a line-up for the rest of the dance. I told them that we might only have enough for the first half of the dance but then they could just bring in a sound system for music or that you could even set something up, Demyx. I told the sound people in the drama department to get a hold of you."

"Speaking of, Roxas I forgot to mention, I was talking to Selphie and she wanted me to ask you if you were doing the spring musical this year," Demyx suddenly switched gears on me.

"Wait what? I just saw Selph yesterday and she didn't ask me herself."

"She probably forgot too. Anyway, yes no?"

"I don't know, probably not? I have battle to worry about."

"Roxas," Sora protested. "For you **not **to do the musical would be blasphemy. You've been in every musical since we started high school except for that semester you broke your neck. You and Selphie are like the Ryan and Sharpay Evans of our school."

"…the who?" Demyx and I asked simultaneously.

"…never mind, the point is, you have to! Selphie's gonna be so pissed if you don't," my cousin warned me.

"Not to mention Mr. Holloway. He practically hands you the lead role anyway," Demyx pointed out.

"But guys, what about the battle?"

"Battle of the Bands isn't going to look as good on your college resumes as being in high school musicals will."

"Sora I don't need anything on my college resume."

"Just audition will you? Besides, what about that crap you fed us last year about using musicals as a new way to exercise the range of your vocals?" Demyx asked, obviously taking Sora's side in the whole thing.

"That was just an excuse because I wanted to play Danny in 'Grease'."

"And the year before that?"

"Guys and Dolls…"

"And before that?"

"The Music Man…"

"See? You like being in musicals, just admit it. Besides, you can take out your stage fright on the spring show and hopefully it'll be enough that you're not nervous for the battle," Sora rationalized.

"…what's the show this year anyway?"

"I think Selphie said it was 'Oklahoma!'…or was it 'Chicago'? I don't know, some city." Demyx shrugged.

"And you guys won't be pissed if I audition and make it into this show?"

"No because you can also use it as your way to expose the band. You know, vocal exercises, just sing our songs instead of the songs you're supposed to be."

"I doubt that's gonna work." Sighing a bit, I stopped on the page I had previously been searching for in my notebook. "Fine, I'll talk to Mr. Holloway on Monday about it."

"Good. Now that that's out of the way, let's do something?" Sora suggested, leaning back a bit and spinning on his stool.

"That's what I was trying to do earlier but you two were just busy talking about…I don't even know!"

"Anyway," Demyx cut into the conversation. "Roxas man, any love songs yet?"

"Yeah, time's a'wastin'," Sora added in an airy tone that wasn't doing very well at hiding the shit-eating grin.

"Kind of…? I've been working on it okay, give me a break. That's what I mean, if I'm in the spring musical I can't work on my…you guys are setting me up!"

"No, not really." Demyx scratched the back of his head. "If anything, this is helping you. Most musicals end up with some romantic undertones anyway, don't they?"

"We're not out to make you fail on purpose, Roxas. If it just so happens that you do fail and lose the bet, then that's just what happens," Sora clarified.

"Whatever. Point is, I'm working on it. I have like, four half-songs that I'm still messing around with."

"Well you can work on them later."

"Right, we need to get a set list going for Sadie's," I decided and started a new list on the sheet of paper in front of me. "So, cover of Sadie Hawkins Dance for sure…"

* * *

We only managed to get in about three hours of rehearsal time before Demyx had to leave to get ready for work and Sora had to get ready for some date with Riku. Or something, I don't even know really.

That left me to be sitting on my bed writing things in my notebook and trying to work on one of the four songs I had started.

Actually what happened was I ended up starting a fifth song. None of them flowed together well enough to combine them, and the new piece in my head didn't fit either. I'm going to guess I had only been working for about 45 minutes though before my window opened and an additional weight added itself to my bed.

"Hey Hayner," I greeted him without even looking up. He's been using the tree outside and my window as entrance into my house for the past two years. Why he never used the front door like a normal person I'll never know and I'll probably never ask either, I just always kept the window unlocked because I never knew when to expect him.

"You know what? Life sucks," he returned as his own greeting.

"Mmh…why do you say that?"

"Because. You know who Olette asked to Sadie's?"

"I'm gonna guess it wasn't you."

"She asked fucking **Pence.** What the **hell**?" If I didn't know better, I could have sworn there was a bit of steam leaking out of Hayner's ears.

"So what, now you don't have a date?"

"Oh no I have a date. I'm going with that girl in my Spanish class, Jess."

"Then I don't really see the problem." Shrugging my shoulders a bit and erasing a line of text, I waited for him to continue, simply for the fact that Hayner never ends a rant until he's good and ready even when you prove him wrong.

"That's not the point, Roxas. It's the fact that she didn't ask me and I'm like, her best friend!"

"Well why did you say yes to Jess then?"

"I don't know, I didn't really realize it until after she asked me and started talking about matching shirts." Hayner flopped down face-first against the mattress. "Why does she do this to me Rox?"

"Because you're retarded? Seriously, it's not her fault you don't have the balls to admit you like her. Just ask her out already."

"I can't do that though."

"Why not?"

"Because…remember what I was telling you about the friends' zone? Yeah, pretty sure me and 'Lette are way too far into that zone for me to do shit about it."

"I doubt that, but if you say so…"

"And I do." Rolling over to look at me again, he peered at the notebook in my lap. "So, what're you doing anyway?"

"Same thing. Goddamn love song. Here tell me what you think of this?" Dropping the notebook on his head, I leaned back against the headboard as Hayner grabbed the book and scanned over the page.

"Mmh…doesn't make a ton of sense to be honest about it. Though I do like the doodle of Cupid with an arrow through his head, classy."

"Oh shut up." Snatching the notebook out of his grip and tossing it on the bedside table, I also threw my pen at his head. "Anyway, is that the only reason you're here, to tell me about the fact that you're stupid and Olette's going to Sadie's with Pence? Because I already knew both of those."

"You already knew Olette asked Pence? Why didn't you tell me!"

"…it concerns me that you're more worried about Olette going to a dance with Pence than the fact that I just called you stupid."

"That's because I also already knew that," Hayner replied. "That's not the point, Roxas."

"All right, so what **is **the point?" He stopped then, giving me a confused look.

"…the point is, I wanted her to ask me."

"…get out of my room. Don't come back until you realize just how stupid you really are being," I finally said, getting off of my bed.

"All right, all right. Some friend you are." Hayner rolled his eyes but crawled back over to the window. "You're coming to my game next Friday right? It's the game they're scouting and it's the game that decides if we make it into the final round of the playoffs."

"I already told you I'd go when you asked me like, two days ago. Now seriously, get out of my room. I have some stuff I need to do."

"You're so mean to me, I swear." Opening the window and swinging his legs over the ledge, Hayner jumped into the tree against the side of the house. "I'll see you later then."

"Sure. Later." Closing the window and watching Hayner climb down to the safety of the ground, I decided to just give up on the love songs for now and sat down in front of my computer, opening up a file of songs for the band.

After all, we still needed to come up with a playlist for the Sadie Hawkins dance.

* * *

…you know, I could just end the entire thing right here. Poof, we all lived happily ever after. I could skip all of the details and all of the bad things that happened starting that following Friday because really, they're bad things.

But then again, if I skipped all of that, what kind of story teller would I be?

A shitty one, Roxas. You'd be a shitty story teller.

Okay so let's pick it back up starting that following Friday, the day of Hayner's big game that he talked about the entire week.

Scene change; jump to me walking into the gym right before the game was about to start and squeezing my way past a bunch of love-sick freshmen girls with gigantic "Go Team!" signs to the bottom of the bleachers. Kairi and Selphie were supposed to be saving me a space down there.

"Roxas!" Looking over the left I spotted Naminé standing on the edge of the bleachers in her cheerleading uniform and Kairi and Selphie sitting next to her waving me over. Weaving through the crowd some more, I managed to get over to the three girls and sat down next to Kairi.

"Hey guys." Settling on the bleachers, I focused more on Naminé. "Since when are you a cheerleader?"

"Since one of the four Ashleys fell from the top of the pyramid and broke her leg." She shrugged, twirling in her skirt a bit. "Besides, it's not like it's very hard and it looks good on top of my extracurricular art classes."

"Yeah well I don't think anybody can top Sora for extracurricular stuff," Selphie cut in, pointing over to a table on the sidelines set up to broadcast the game on the school's radio station with Sora sitting behind the microphone and running voice tests. "That kid does everything."

"No kidding," Kairi replied. "He's the ASB vice president, director of the student activities committee, anchor for the school radio station, editor for the school newspaper, drummer in a band, taking a bunch of advanced placement classes while managing to maintain no less than a 3.8 GPA-"

"Hey guys the game's starting!" I interrupted the two of them, pointing to the center of the court. I love those two girls, really, but I heard enough Sora-worshipping in my own house. Didn't need it from them too.

"I should get going then. I'll catch up with you guys later!" Naminé waved and jumped off the bleachers, scurrying over to join the other cheerleaders.

"I love her," Kairi announced as soon as the blonde girl was away from us. "I keep forgetting how fun she is to talk to."

"That's because she's always with Marluxia and he's stupid," I reminded her, leaning back a bit to watch the game.

"Be nice." Selphie rolled her eyes. "Anyway, it was good catching up with her. We'll have to do it later. She's going to Sadie's tomorrow right?"

"With Marluxia of course. Who're you going with Rox?" Kairi returned her attention to me.

"Nobody. Not that I know of anyway, I sort of just assumed you and me were gonna go."

"…yeah, about that…" she trailed off and it was only then that I tore my gaze away from the court to look at her.

"What is it?"

"I kind of asked Dem to go with me. Sorry, I thought I told you this already."

"…are you kidding me? Kairi, that's ridiculous, we always go to shitty school functions together, that's what makes them less shitty!"

"Sorry Rox. Go with Selphie."

"Can't, I already asked Tidus," Selphie interjected. "Sorry Roxas, you should have said something sooner."

"I didn't think I had to." Sinking further into my seat, I returned my attention to the game instead of the two girls next to me. So what if I didn't have a date to the Sadie Hawkins dance? This was part of the reason I couldn't stand girls, damn finicky frilly things.

The next hour was spent sitting on hard blue bleachers watching my best friend dominate the court while listening to my cousin's voice ring in my ears over the loudspeaker radio. Half-time was just wrapping up and the players were returning to the floor when the girls suddenly remembered I was still sitting next to them.

"Hey Roxas, what'd you decide on the musical?" Selphie asked.

"Auditioned, Holloway practically begged me to do it, so I said I would," I answered, vaguely registering the sound of sneakers squeaking on the wooden floor of the basketball court, signaling that the second half had started.

"Does that mean you're the Billy Flynn to my Roxie Hart?"

"Sure does. Pretty cool huh?"

"Very!" Bouncing in her seat a bit, Selphie leaned over Kairi to talk to me. "I'm really glad it's you and not somebody who…well, can't sing. That'd suck so bad."

As you can guess, our spring show was going to be Chicago. And as you could guess again, Selphie and I have the main two roles, as per usual. Sora was right, again.

"Yeah well don't worry, I'm sure I can sing and make you look good." Selphie opened her mouth to reply when Kairi suddenly jumped up.

"Oh my god!" Whipping my head around to face the court, I scanned around the area until I finally saw what was going on. In the middle of the floor was Hayner, laying on the ground and clutching his right wrist which was hanging pretty limp.

"What the fuck happened?" I asked, also standing up to get a better look.

"I don't know! One minute he was up and running and the next, bam! Down he went." Kairi used me to balance herself as she stood on her toes to see further. After about five minutes, Hayner stood up from the ground still holding his wrist and limping off of the court heading off with the assistant coach to the hospital.

"Think he's gonna be okay?" Sitting down to watch the rest of the game, I pulled Kairi with me so we weren't blocking people behind us.

"I don't know, he looked like it was hurting pretty bad," Selphie commented. "We'll find out soon enough though, right?"

"Hope so…"

And just for the record, we lost the game after that.

* * *

Considering the fact that I was still pretty annoyed with Kairi and Demyx for going to Sadie's with each other, I only stuck around long enough to play our set. Pulling up in the driveway of the house, I wasn't very surprised to see the lights were off and the door was locked. Usually when both Sora and I were out, our moms would go out too. Unlocking the front door and heading upstairs to my room, I heard the sound of footsteps coming from my bedroom.

"…what the…" Stopping in the middle of the hallway, I glanced around for any other signs of somebody being home. Both Mom and Aunt Seiya's bedrooms were dark and quiet, and I knew Sora was still at the school with Riku so it wasn't him.

The islands are actually a very safe place, low crime rate and all. But still, a person could never be too careful. Reaching into the hall closet and pulling out a broom, I carefully crept over to my bedroom door and pushed it open with my foot, raising the broom over my head and flipping the lights on.

"About time."

"Fuck, don't **do **that!" Dropping the broom on the floor I crossed the room to join Hayner on my bed. "What're you even doing here? I thought you'd be at the dance with Jess or whatever."

"Kind of not in the mood to dance," he replied, holding up his right arm which was wrapped in a black cast.

"What happened?"

"Well you were at the game last night."

"Yeah but all I saw was you on the ground holding your wrist. What did you do?"

"Tried blocking a play, got knocked backwards and broke my fall while breaking my wrist." Waving his cast around in the air vaguely, he moved to lie on his back. "Shit hurt bad."

"I bet…that's pretty bad dude."

"Pfft…tell me about it."

"…so wait, how'd you get in my room?"

"Same way I always do."

"…so you climbed up the tree to crawl through my window?"

"With one hand. Pretty good right?" Sighing to himself, he moved over so I could lie next to him. "I'm spending the night, my parents are throwing a fit."

"About what?"

"Same shit as always. Blah blah blah, you're wasting our money, why'd you go and do something so fucking stupid like break your wrist, blah blah blah now you don't have a scholarship and we're not paying for your college since you're not being serious, on and on and on." Rolling onto his side, he looked at me with a blank expression. "They're right though, there goes the scholarship."

"Shut up, you know they're never right."

"Always a first for something."

Hayner's parents aren't exactly…supportive of their son. They're convinced that all he does is make trouble and fuck up, which really actually wasn't true until lately. Hayner used to be a pretty decent person academically. The real problem is his philosophy's backwards. 'If they don't give a shit, then I won't either'. Not the best way to do things.

Olette and I have been doing everything we can for him to keep him going, but sometimes it's not enough. Like now for instance.

"Seriously, don't even think about them. They're just bitter." Laying down next to him and facing him, I couldn't move very much without running into his face.

"Maybe…"

"No, they are. C'mon this isn't like you. Just fuck 'em, remember?"

"Yeah. I don't know, my brain hurts."

"From their yelling?"

"Well that and pain killers the hospital gave me for my wrist. I want to just like, shut my head off and sleep for the next four to six weeks."

"Well, I don't know about four to six weeks, but you can definitely sleep here for at least six hours."

"The problem is, I can't sleep now. You should fix that."

"How would I fix that?"

"I dunno…sing to me."

"…you're kidding."

"I'm really not." Raising an eyebrow, Hayner continued just giving me a blank stare.

"Fine don't." Closing his eyes, he curled up and just stayed still.

Sometimes, Hayner could be very dramatic.

"If I lay here, if I just lay here, would you lie with me and just forget the world…" He opened his eyes again at the sound of my voice.

"New song?"

"No, just a line I came up with." Getting up from the bed and turning out the lights I kicked off my shoes and settled on the bed again.

"Interesting." Hayner closed his eyes again. "So…"

"So what?"

"How'd your date go, you never told me. And don't give me that crap about never asking."

Guess he knew me too well.

"Well…I guess it went okay. Well, better than okay actually. We just went to the movies an-"

"And made out in the back?"

"…and in his car."

"…that's my boy." Ruffling my hair a bit, Hayner's face split into a large grin. "How was it?"

"Awesome."

"So what now?"

"I don't actually know." Closing my eyes as well I settled down further next to him. "Guess it really depends on Axel. Like, I'd be okay with dating him I guess but I don't know if he'd be okay with the same. I don't know, I'm not really going to say anything until he does."

"Don't be dumb. You realize that letting the decision be entirely up to him makes you the woman right?" he snorted.

"…what?"

"And if you're the woman and Axel manipulates you that makes him a total womanizer."

"…what the fuck are you talking about?"

"I think I'm stoned."

"Go to sleep." Rolling over so my back was facing Hayner, I wasn't too surprised to feel an arm drape around my waist and soft snoring reach my ears.

There was always another day, I suppose.

* * *

The next two weeks following the basketball game and the dance signified winter break for us. We didn't have to go back to school until after New Year's, which was pretty nice. We all needed a break.

The problem was I didn't seem to be getting a break from my interrogation.

"Have you talked to Axel yet?"

Earlier in the week I had promised Kairi that I'd help decorate her house for Christmas, and this is how she was repaying me; interrogation two days before Christmas.

"No not yet." Standing on a ladder to place some glass ornaments near the top, I more heard her annoyance than saw it.

"Rox-as. Did we not just discuss this? You need to do it soon."

"Yes, Kai, I know. Hand me that box of Santa things." Passing me the box, Kairi sat on the bottom rung of my ladder, looking up at me.

"If you know, then why haven't you?"

"I've been busy, give me a break. Kind of hard to think about whether Axel and I are dating or not when I've got rehearsals for Chicago and the holidays coming up."

"I think you're just being stubborn."

"You think that a lot though." She dodged the empty box that I threw down to her head, glaring instead.

"Because you **are **stubborn, Roxas." I didn't even bother gracing her with an answer to that. "Do you even know what you're getting him for Christmas?"

"…I know what I'm getting **you **for Christmas?" I replied with a grin, hoping she'd buy that.

"Sorry, that's not gonna work."

Guess not.

"Oh come on. I didn't even think that I needed to exchange presents with him!"

"You should. Word has it he got all of us something, so you should definitely get him something." Kairi stood up and moved out of the way, allowing me to step down from the ladder.

"Okay like what?"

"See that I don't know…"

"Kairi!"

"Well!" she protested, placing her hands on her hips. "I'm not you, and I'm not Axel. I don't know anything other than what you tell me so I don't know what he likes. Just don't do something dumb like buy him a CD or something generic like that."

"Well what if he wants a CD or something generic like that?"

"No. Not allowed." Poking me in the forehead, she turned on her heel and headed into the kitchen.

"Since when do you get to decide the rules of my life?" I asked, following her just because I had no other choice really.

"I don't decide, I advise. There's a difference, and I do it because you don't really know what you're doing here."

"…suppose you have a point. But still, I think I can come up with my own Christmas present for Axel."

"If you say so," she sighed as she opened one of the cabinets by the refrigerator. "Are you staying for dinner?"

"Can't. Mom and Aunt Seiya are out so I told Sora I'd help him with some decorating stuff. Do you need me for anything else though?"

"No not really. Do you need **me **for anything else?" she retorted, looking at me from over her shoulder.

"I haven't decided yet. I'll get back to you on that okay?"

"Sure. I'll probably talk to you later tonight?"

"Yeah probably. See ya later, Kai."

"Bye Roxy, thanks for the help. And remember what I said!"

"Oh oops what do you know, already forgot. Later." And I left the kitchen and was out the front door before she even had a chance to yell my name.

* * *

As soon as I opened the front door to my house my nostrils were invaded by the smell of sugar and frosting.

"Sora?"

"Kitchen!" Kicking off my shoes and dropping my keys on the table by the door, I made my way closer to the smell.

"Dude what're you doing?" Sora turned away from the counter, a ball of cookie dough in his hand and a smear of frosting around his mouth, apron around his waist.

"Making cookies. What does it look like?"

"**Why?**"

"Because, 'tis the season to gain 20 pounds." Turning around and smashing the ball of dough into a circle he continued talking. "But no they're part of Riku's Christmas present."

"You're making him cookies?" Looking over his shoulders, I watched him continue to smash balls of dough into flat circles. He had already made a dozen of them, all decorated with frosting and sprinkles.

"Well obviously he's getting more than cookies. I bought him a bigger memory card for his camera."

Riku wants to study photography when he gets into college. His favorite subject's my cousin, for obvious reasons.

"Oh. So what'd you get him for your gay-iversary?"

Sora and Riku celebrate their anniversary on New Year's Eve, even though technically it should be New Year's Day because they made it official right at 11:59 and kissed at midnight.

…please don't ask me why I know that.

"Just because Riku and I call it that doesn't mean you're allowed to. Here, help me." Shoving a bowl of what would eventually be dough into my hands, he drove a spoon in the middle and went back to making his cookies. "Anyway, since the fifth year anniversary gift is usually wood, and shut up Roxas don't even start making cock jokes, I ended up with a wooden picture frame."

"…you bought him a picture frame? For your fifth year anniversary? Isn't that kind of lame?" I replied, beginning to stir the mixture into dough.

"It's kind of a huge frame. It's upstairs, I'll show you later. The idea is to have it with at least one picture for every year Riku and I have been together as friends and as lovers."

"So you mean basically since you were both pushed out of vaginas."

"Nope, I've even got ultrasound pictures. You know Mom and Ayumi were like, bee-eff-eff in high school." Opening the oven, Sora slid another tray of cookies inside and set the timer, taking the bowl from me and picking up where I left off. Not before I could take some of the dough to eat, anyway.

"…Sora, don't ever say bee-eff-eff ever again okay? Anyway, I still don't really get why you're making him cookies."

"Because cookies are like the food of love. You should try making them too for whoever it is you've been seeing lately."

"**What?**" I choked around the dough in my mouth, giving him a wide-eyed stare and being rewarded with a satisfied smirk. "Who's to say that I-"

"Come on, Roxas, I'm not stupid. Did you really think I wouldn't pick up on the fact that you haven't been hanging out with Kairi every single time you've said? I'm not dumb; I know you've been going out with somebody." The grin wouldn't leave Sora's face and he folded his arms over his chest, waiting for me to answer.

"Sora we're not exactly going out…we're just friends."

"For now. You're not denying that you've gone out a few times though."

"Sora…"

"Like I said, not stupid. I notice things like that." Nodding to himself he turned around and began working on another tray of cookies. "Anyway like I said, you should try making them as a present."

"Why? Wouldn't that be kind of weird?"

"No way. Girls love guys who make cookies and stuff for them. She'd love you if you made her cookies."

…**oh. **

So much for not being stupid, Sora.

"…right. If you say so."

"Just take my advice. Any girl you're going out with will love cookies made by you. Here, I'll let you make this next batch."

"You really think this is going to work?"

"Sure. Everybody loves cookies okay? Just remember that. I love cookies, you love cookies, Riku loves cookies, Riku loves me, I love Riku, see where I'm going with this?"

"Yeah. You're insane," I concluded, joining him at the counter and making my own batch of cookies. Even though Axel wasn't a girl (quite far from it actually), Sora had a point. Everybody loved cookies. Besides, it wasn't like I was doing any better coming up with a Christmas present myself. So this was it, cookies for the boy I've been making out with and probably nothing from him because I wasn't going into this expecting a present.

"Insane or not, you know I'm right. It'll all work out fine and besides you should trust me because you love me."

"I kind of have to, we live in the same house." I replied, finishing up with my own tray.

I probably deserved the spoonful of frosting Sora shoved up my nose.

* * *

It wasn't until I was standing on Demyx's doorstep with a gift bag in my hand Christmas Eve that I even realized I was seriously giving Axel **cookies**. There was something wrong with this picture but hey, I was already there. The front door opened as soon as I knocked and Axel leaned against the doorframe, grinning down at me.

"Hey Roxas," he practically purred. "What're you doing here?"

"Um…just wanted to see you, or something. Lemme in, it's cold out here." Pushing past him into the house, I kept the bag in a loose grip and headed for the couch. "Where's Dem?"

"Work. He's really pissed about it because do you know how many people order pizzas Christmas Eve because everything's closed? Yeah." Joining me on the couch, he leaned back and finally took notice of the red bag in my hand. "Present for Demyx?"

"…no actually. Present for you." I could already feel the tips of my ears burning. He tilted his head a bit, raising an eyebrow in surprise.

"Oh? I didn't think you'd be the type."

"It's Christmas. Here just…whatever," I said, shoving the bag into his hand. I couldn't even look at him when he opened the bag, removing the green tissue and revealing the frosted sugar cookies.

"You made me cookies," he stated more than asked. He sounded pretty amused at the whole idea actually.

"Um…yeah. I wasn't really sure what you'd like and well everybody likes cookies right? Unless you don't like sugar in that case I'm sorry but-"

"Roxas," he cut me off, laughing a bit and taking a cookie out of the bag. "Relax, it's fine." He bit into the cookie, chewing thoughtfully before making a pleased noise. "Hey, guess what? I won't have to make fun of you. These taste pretty good." Finishing the cookie and licking crumbs from his lips, he grinned at me again. "Thanks."

"Yeah well, you know," I finished lamely. He chuckled briefly before getting up.

"I got you something too. Not as delicious as cookies but I thought you might like it anyway. Don't move." Disappearing down the hall into his room, he left me alone on the couch for about ten minutes.

On the bright side, he liked the cookies and he didn't think they were lame. On the other hand, I didn't know what he got me so maybe the cookies weren't such a great idea. Not like I could do anything about it at that point anyway though.

"Here." Dropping a wrapped square in my lap, Axel folded his legs under him and sat next to me on the couch. It didn't take me too long to unwrap it.

"A Fever You Can't Sweat Out?" I read the title, giving Axel a confused look.

"Yeah, it's Panic at the Disco's CD. Kind of thought, you know, since you liked their music when we went to their concert and you pretty much collect CDs anyway it'd work. What do you think?"

To be honest, I really didn't know what to think.

Okay see, it was like this. It was Christmas Eve. I had just given Axel a bag of cookies, something so **generic** and I could already hear my conscience yelling at me inside my head.

Oddly enough, my conscience sounded like a 17-year-old girl with red hair.

And then there was Axel who gave me something that was supposed to be generic, a CD, and it actually had meaning and **thought **behind it.

"…I love it. Thanks," I answered as honestly as I could, still busy kicking myself for being so general. Pretending to look at my watch I pocketed the CD and got up from the couch. "I have to get going. We're having dinner at our house with our family and Riku's family."

"That's fine, I'll walk you out," he insisted and stood up as well following me to the front door, which was pretty pointless really because it was only about 10 feet away. "So, do I get to see you during the rest of break at all, or are you going to disappear on me?"

"Maybe, I don't know yet. I know Sora and I are going up to visit some family in Twilight Town for a few days but I don't know when."

"Well, give me a call when you're free. We can go out or something." And there was that oh-so-charming grin again directed down at me.

"We'll see," I replied as coolly as I could. Obviously he wasn't really buying the act though.

"Awesome. So I'll see you later."

"Yeah, guess so." I shrugged and opened the front door. "See ya later, Ax. Merry Christmas."

"Mmh, not so fast." He closed the door again and moved closer, grabbing onto my chin and pressing his lips against mine. Considering that I didn't have much of a choice I went with it, standing on my toes and kissing him back (and even if I **did** have a choice, I probably still would have chosen to kiss him). Pulling away a few minutes later I remained on my toes looking up at him.

"What was that for?"

"Christmas tradition of course," he replied, pointing up at the top of the doorframe to the piece of mistletoe stapled there.

Stealthy bastard.

"Oh I see."

"And because I happen to like kissing you," he added, leaning down to kiss me real quick.

"Charmer." I didn't object though. "I'll try to be free enough to hang out over break."

"Sound good. See ya, Roxy. Merry Christmas." He opened the door again and ushered me outside.

"Stop calling me that."

"What, Roxy? It's a cute nickname."

"…whatever. Bye Axel." Waving and pulling the door closed behind me I made my way down the front walk out to my car, CD still in my pocket and ears still burning a bit.

But this? This I could definitely get used to.

* * *

…well that's a little better, only three months between updates this time. But I wrote you 31 pages of material to make up for it. Unfortunately I wasn't able to get this out much sooner, December's been a rough month on my family and myself but I figured I could at least get this out **around **Christmas. I was aiming for Christmas Eve but as you can tell, didn't work out too well.

This chapter's title is copyright to Miss Britney Spears, of course, a line from her song, "Womanizer". Chapters five, six, seven, and eight are copyright of The Pink Spiders (a line from their song, "Modern Swinger"), Bowling for Soup (a line from their song, "Smoothie King"), John Mayer (a line from his song, "My Stupid Mouth"), and Barenaked Ladies (a line from their song, "Falling for the First Time"), respectively.

I know pieces of this story probably seem pretty useless toward the Akuroku of the story, but this is a story more about Roxas and his entire life versus just strictly Axel/Roxas. There will be events further in the story that involve everybody in his life. I'm trying to keep a good balance going by making sure he interacts with even the side characters like Selphie and Nami. But I promise that it all makes sense for points in the story that do involve Axel and Roxas. Just wanted to throw that out there that this is a story about Roxas' senior year in its entirety, not just how he and Axel got together.

That being said, special thanks to everyone who has reviewed this story so far. There are so many of you to list but I appreciate every single review I receive. They're motivating and such, so thank you all.

As a side-note, this story is in the process of being edited a bit. Nothing drastic, but a few facts (mostly facts that make sense in the story such as Naminé's age) have been slightly altered. It's nothing that needs to be reread.

Anyway, thanks for reading you guys. Hope you all had a happy Christmas/holidays (for those of you who celebrate) and a good New Year's as well. Chapter 10 is already in the process of being written, so hopefully this story will be updated by the middle of January. Thanks!

-Ty


	10. Been Meaning To Say A Few Things To You

**Chapter Ten**

_So Lately I've Been Meaning To Say A Few Things To You  
(She Gets All The Good Attention and I Get Honored With The Mention)_

* * *

"I need you to get out of my head, now."

Oh wait, introduction first. Right…right…well, how about this for an introduction?

Wise men say only fools rush in; wiser men say red-headed girls better run pretty damn fast.

* * *

"What?"

"No seriously, I need you and your voice out of my head before I do something else completely stupid," I elaborated while (melodramatically) falling on top of lavender sheets. As you should have expected by now, I went straight over to Kairi's after leaving Axel and Demyx's place.

"You know, I don't think it's very fair that you're blaming all of your stupid things on me." Kairi sat on the bed next to me and raised an eyebrow. "Besides, whatever you're talking about can't be that bad. I mean you're still breathing and all of your hair's intact."

It's logic like that that reminds me why we're friends really.

"I'm talking about how I pretty much just surrendered to being the girl in the relationship."

"…yeah, still not following babe."

"I wanted to get him something simple like a DVD but **no**, 'don't buy him something generic' she said. 'That's not allowed' she said. Do you know what I ended up doing instead?"

"No but you're going to tell me anyway so I'll know soon enough. What did you end up doing instead?"

"**I made him cookies.**"

Silence. That's all it was, absolute pure silence between Kairi and I as she absorbed what I had just said and I waited for her to respond. It was almost like a staring contest between the two of us, that's how intense things were. Kairi's eyes narrowed a bit and her lips pursed in thought as she continued staring me down.

And then…she started giggling. A lot.

"Roxas! That's so **cute!**" she practically gushed. "Like, no you have no idea how adorable that is."

"Yes. Yes I do and that's the problem. I wasn't trying to be adorable, I was just trying to be semi-decent!" I argued my point but I could already tell it didn't matter anyway.

"Oh whatever you can be both that way. So what'd he say, did he at least like them?"

"He said they tasted pretty good and then he went to grab my present. Which, by the way, is why I feel completely stupid." Producing the CD from my pocket and dropping it on Kairi's lap I finally sat up to my full height. "How come **he **was allowed to give me something generic? Oh I don't know, maybe because his conscience isn't a 17-year-old girl?" Picking up the CD and turning it around in her hands, Kairi opened it and allowed her gaze to wander over the album art.

"This is the band that you guys went to see for your birthday right?"

"Yeah. He thought I might as well have the whole CD to listen to their other songs and add to my disc collection. Or something like that."

"…okay seriously, how clueless are you?"

"What?"

"No really, how do you not get it?"

"Get **what**?"

"He gave you this specific CD for a reason, bonehead. He's hoping that every time you listen to it now you'll think of him," Kairi explained as she handed me the CD and got off of her bed, wandering out of the room.

"You don't really expect me to believe that do you?" I quickly followed her down the stairs, shoving the CD back into my pocket.

"Even if you don't, you should. That's just common knowledge, Roxas."

"…yeah speaking of common knowledge, guess what? Sora knows something's going on."

"What do you mean Sora knows?"

"I don't know, he was all 'I'm not dumb, I know you've been seeing someone.' Funny thing is, he thinks it's a girl." Heading into the kitchen and swiping a candy cane from the counter I re-entered the living room and sat next to Kairi on the couch.

"Doesn't surprise me. You've kind of led him on to believe that you're straight."

"Either way. What do I do? I can't keep lying to him about seeing somebody since he's already suspicious. And I didn't exactly deny it either so that just makes it worse. I don't know what I'm supposed to do here."

"I have an idea."

"Oh? Shoot," I said, unwrapping the candy cane and proceeding to, as Demyx puts it, orally fuck it with my tongue.

"Why don't you just tell him about Axel?"

"…now see, that would be the easy thing to do. That would also be the dumb thing to do. Are you kidding me, Kai? It's not Sora's business anyway."

"I don't get you. You have no problem with telling me. You have no problem with telling **Hayner**, of all people. But you can't tell your own **cousin**? Roxas Sora's not going to care! The worst that can happen is he'll offer you anal sex advice."

"…gross."

"I'm just saying," Kairi rolled her eyes and removed the candy cane from my mouth, breaking it in half. "I don't understand what you have against telling anybody else but especially Sora." Sticking half of the candy cane in her own mouth she leaned back and looked at me.

Honestly, Kairi and I could go in circles arguing about this. We **have **gone in circles arguing about this same subject, ever since I first told her in fact. I wasn't dumb; I knew what she was saying made sense and I knew that she was right. Sora wouldn't care, Sora would be happy for me. Sora, Sora, Sora.

There was just something about the idea of telling Sora that struck me as uncomfortable.

"I know what you're saying. And I don't know, what do you really want me to do Kairi?"

"I want you to tell him. Talk to Sora over break and I bet you haven't asked Axel about going out officially have you?"

"I am seriously going to stab you in the eye with this candy cane. Do you want me to stab you in the eye?"

"You stab me, I'll stab you right back." Smiling sweetly, Kairi got up and grabbed a package from under the Christmas tree. "But you haven't have you?"

"Of course not, I kind of-"

"Had other priorities. Right." Dropping the package in my lap she sat down again. "I'm done bugging you about it for now, you're a big boy."

"Thank you."

"But you better do it soon before…I don't know, he might think you just want it to be a casual thing. **Do **you want it to be a casual thing?"

"Of course not."

"Then talk to him, dummy. Anyway Merry Christmas, I want you to open your present now."

"…how did you just go from insulting me to giving me a present?" Raising an eyebrow I started tearing away the wrapping paper.

"Probably because I'm a girl." Kairi shrugged and watched me intently. Ripping away the last of the snowflake-covered paper what I found myself holding appeared to be a leather-bound journal complete with lock and key.

"…you got me a diary?" I have to admit, out of all the weird presents Kairi has ever given me in my life, this was probably the strangest (and yes I'm counting the pink My Little Pony she gave me for my 10th birthday. Her name's Buttercup and she lives on my windowsill. Shut up, she's awesome.). I'm thinking it was only strange though because it was very simplistic and **not **pink and sparkly like most of her other random presents. Like the princess tiara she bought for my 16th birthday.

Again, shut up, it's awesome.

"Well…sort of."

"Sort of?" Unlocking the di-…journal, it was a journal, I flipped through the blank pages before closing it again. "Sure looks like a journal to me."

"Well it is."

"Then how is it sort of one?"

"Because, Roxas…you write so much music and you write so many lyrics and you write so many beautiful things that I want you to keep it all in one place. I want you to write something amazing and I want you to use this as an opportunity to discover yourself. You're an artist, that's what you people are supposed to do. I want you to write something that will show the world that you're as talented and fascinating as I think you are."

I didn't say anything for a while, looking down at the journal again. Write something amazing…that's all she wanted from me? Write something amazing.

"…you're incredible, you know that?" Laying my head against hers and giving her a one-armed hug, I set the journal on the table in front of us.

"Incredible huh? I've heard, but why mention it now?" she asked.

"Having that much faith in me and my writing. I don't think I'd have that much faith in me if I were you."

"Good thing you're not me, huh?"

"Extremely good thing." Nodding in agreement, Kairi curled up against my side and both of us kept our eyes trained on the journal. We sat in silence again, pretty much just enjoying each other's company and thinking about what had just happened. It was…comfortable and I think it was at that point that I really realized how lucky I was to have her. Even if she **did **occasionally screw me over, I wouldn't trade her.

Good thing I didn't have to actually verbalize that though, I think I'd die of humiliation.

"So…now that we've made things sufficiently awkward did you want to open your present or not?" I sat up a bit and shifted next to her.

"We're not awkward, you know you love me. But yes, I do." Getting up from the couch and looking under her tree, Kairi pulled out the gift bag I had set under her tree earlier that week.

"I'm surprised you haven't opened it already."

"Oh give me some credit, Rox. We always open presents Christmas Eve, never earlier." She rolled her eyes and tore the tissue paper out of the bag only to practically squeal right into my ear. "Roxas! So many colors!"

…I probably was asking for it when I bought her a MAC makeup eye shadow set. I mean really.

…and I was probably asking for it for even knowing the difference between MAC and the stuff they sell at the grocery store.

"Yeah, you're welcome. I kind of figured you'd like something girly this time around."

"So many colors," she repeated, opening the make-up container and looking at the different patches of eye shadow. "Best thing ever."

"I try."

"You succeed." Leaning over, she kissed my cheek and ruffled my hair a bit. "Merry Christmas babe."

"Same." Reaching into my pocket and pulling out my phone, I checked the time and pulled away from her. "Sorry to just run out on you like this, I gotta get going though. Mom and Aunt Seiya are dragging me and Sora to church tonight for Christmas service before the Masakis come over for dinner."

"You mean dragging **you**. Sora kind of just goes willingly."

"Point being, I gotta go." Getting off of the couch, the two of us headed out of the living room and toward the front door.

"Will I see you over break or are you over in Twilight Town the rest of it?"

"I don't know yet. I don't even know when we're heading over there, I'll let you know. I also told Axel I'd hang out with him over break."

"Ooh, busy man. Just remember what you promised me."

"About talking to them?"

"Yes." Staring me in the eyes, she placed her hands on my shoulders. "You're going to talk to Sora and you're going to talk to Axel. Soon. Got it?"

"Got it. I'll let you know how it all goes." Pulling her hands off of me and opening the front door, I waved and stepped outside of the house. "If I don't see you over break I'll call you while we're in Twilight Town."

"Sounds good. See you later!" Waving back, she shut the front door and I got back in my car, heading back to my house and not looking forward to fulfilling those promises.

* * *

"Hello?" Walking into my house I stuffed my keys into my pocket and checked to see if anyone else was home.

"Hey!" Walking toward the living room I found Sora sitting on the couch dressed in black slacks and a dark red dress shirt, busy fiddling with his neck tie.

"You're ready early," I commented, flopping down on the couch next to him. He finished up with his tie and shrugged.

"Not really, we're leaving in like an hour."

"Where'd the adults go?"

"Last minute shopping for dinner with the Masakis. Oh hey, you got something in the mail today by the way." Sora picked up a red envelope from the coffee table and dropped it into my lap. I didn't even have to look at the return address to see whom it was from. Tearing open the envelope, I sat back against the couch and cleared my throat.

"Merry Christmas, Roxas. I wasn't sure what you'd like. From, your father, Michael." Finishing my dramatic reading, I pocketed the $20 that came from inside and tossed the card on the table. "Seriously, he always signs cards like he needs to remind me he's my father."

"At least he sent it on time this year?" Sora added, plucking the card up from the table again and reading it himself.

"I guess that's one way to look at it. Oh well. Now I have lunch money for when we get back."

"Or for when we go to Twilight Town. Which, by the way, I advise you start packing for. Mom said we're leaving tomorrow morning."

"**What?**"

"Yeah, change in plans. Staying for the whole week, coming home New Year's Day."

"Isn't that almost our entire break?"

"Yes."

"…damn. I mean not that I don't love Twilight Town but really, the rest of break?"

"The rest of break. It'll be fun." Sora threw the card back onto the table and yawned slightly. "Being dressed up makes me sleepy."

"That doesn't make any sense you know."

"No. No it does not. But go get dressed and go pack, Mom and Aunt Kia are going to be home soon and we have to be at church after that." Sora waved me off and grabbed the remote for the TV, laying his head on the arm of the couch and stretching out, kicking me out of my spot in the process.

"All right, I'm going." I got up from my spot and headed upstairs, ignoring the loud sounds of Rudolph playing from the TV.

* * *

I'll spare you the details and sum up the rest of my Christmas Eve in one sentence. Church was boring and dinner with the Masakis was okay but nothing new. Same thing every year; Mom, Aunt Seiya, Ayumi, and Seto (Riku's dad, in case you didn't figure that part out) sat in the living room catching up on everything and Sora, Riku, and I were upstairs in Sora's room playing the Playstation and well, those two were having fun being all couple-y and I had to sit through it.

It was kind of gross.

The next morning, the four of us (as in Mom, Aunt Seiya, Sora, and me) got up early and started packing Aunt Seiya's SUV to head out to Twilight Town, including all of our presents. We never opened our presents before we saw our family.

The drive there was pretty uneventful. I'm pretty sure Sora and I both slept the entire way there; I mean come on we were driving at eight in the morning to a town four hours away. By the time we got there though we were more than ready to get out of the SUV. Sora and I jumped out of the backseat and grabbed our bags before racing to the front door and wrenching it open…

…and promptly crashing into the blond who was just about to step out of the house.

"…hey Uncle Cloud," Sora and I said simultaneously, each flashing our most charming grins up at him. He merely raised an eyebrow at the both of us before nodding in acknowledgment and heading outside to help our moms unload the rest of the car.

Cloud's our moms' baby brother. He's only a couple of years older than Sora and I, like 23 or 24 or something like that. We usually get away with just calling him Cloud. He doesn't see the point in us calling him uncle.

"I hear fun-people voices!" A different male voice announced from inside the house.

"Uncle Zack!" Sora and I ran inside and were instantly tackled by a dark-haired man.

Zack, unlike Cloud, really wasn't our uncle. He's actually Cloud's best friend from childhood, so we've known him for just as long as we've known Cloud. They're living together now, along with "Aunt" Tifa and "Aunt" Aerith. So really, coming to visit wasn't such a bad thing.

"Hey kiddos!" Zack ruffled our hair and sat up from his seat on the ground. "We were beginning to wonder if you guys got lost, Tifa and Aerith are just finishing up lunch and your grandparents are already here. Plus like, we couldn't open presents until you guys got here."

"Well we're here now. Let's open presents!" Sora bounced up from the ground, pulling Zack and I with him.

"Screw that, let's eat. I'm starving," I interrupted, already heading further into the house.

"**Or**," my mom cut me off, coming up behind us carrying her suitcase and a big bag of presents. "You can help us carrying everything else inside."

"That's an option t-ow! Mom!" Sora yelped as Aunt Seiya tossed another bag of presents at him, smashing him in the stomach.

"Guess we don't get a choice, huh Sora?" Grabbing the bag my mom was carrying and brushing past Zack we all headed inside to say hello to our grandparents, along with Tifa and Aerith.

Those two are also childhood friends of Cloud and Zack. We've never bothered asking why all four of them live together (or who's dating who for that matter), it's always just been an acceptable thing ever since Cloud moved out of Grandma and Grandpa's house. Besides, they've been a part of our lives for about as long as Cloud and Zack have been. I mean really, I remember one summer when Sora and I were like nine, we had to go up to Grandma and ask her why Uncle Cloud was wearing a pink dress and why Aerith was chasing him with a pair of high heels while Tifa was trying to attack him with a purse and Zack was taking photos. Grandma just patted our heads and explained that one day we'd probably be that crazy too before tossing Tifa a pair of gloves to go with Cloud's new purse.

Welcome to my patch-work and slightly dysfunctional family.

* * *

Meals with my mom's side of the family were always…well, chaotic. You have Zack and Sora who're too busy talking to each other and eating that you couldn't tell who was telling what stupid story and whose mouth that piece of bread just came flying out of. You also have Tifa, Aerith, Aunt Seiya, and my mom racing in and out of the kitchen with food and plates and refills and lots of female chatter I didn't care about.

Lots of **loud **female chatter.

Add into that Grandpa reprimanding Cloud for not having a better job than being a delivery boy, Cloud just staring at him wordlessly while Grandpa waved his fork around, causing people around him to duck so they didn't get stabbed. Oh and to top it off, Grandma was busy piling food onto our plates because apparently, Sora and I are "far too skinny for boys our age". In the meantime she was giving us the same spiel she did every holiday ("Oh Sora, I knew you'd do well in school this semester! I can't wait to hear what the universities think!" and my personal favorite, "Roxas honey, I wish you would do something different with your hair." I'm completely serious). But then she'd make up for it by asking us about our band and what kind of new music we were working on.

My Grandma's pretty cool I guess. She came to one of our shows last year.

Even more chaotic than the meals were the gift exchanges at Christmas. Just…so much wrapping paper and all of the boxes and bags and the **ribbon and bows.** It gets thrown everywhere and somehow every year I end up with a purple bow somewhere in my hair where I can't reach it.

No really, who uses **purple **on a Christmas present?

I guess on the bright side we clean up pretty good at Christmas. We get presents from our moms, but we also get them from our grandparents, Cloud, Zack, Aerith, and Tifa too. And on top of that, Sora and I usually get cards with money or gift cards in them from our respective father figures' parents.

But, they're not very important to this story, because it's my story about the people that are important in my life (Sora would beg to differ because he actually gets along really well with his dad's parents, but this isn't Sora's story now is it?).

Anyway, that year seemed to be the year of college-appropriate gifts. All the stuff like clothes and well you know, boring stuff. Someone actually gave me a package of socks (I have a feeling it was my mom). Sora even got a blender from one of the girls for his dorm next year and he also got a toaster from whichever one didn't give him the blender which was actually pretty cool but my favorite present?

Grandma and Grandpa loved me enough to buy me GarageBand 2 and the Voice Jam Pack that went with it. I could finally make music on my computer and I could **mix **it and **sync **it and…

…and you don't care, I know.

And of course, as a joint present to me and Sora from Zack, we ended up with some video game called "Guitar Hero". It had only been out for about a month but Zack swore up and down that we'd like it. I mean, it wasn't like we couldn't trust Zack's judgment and besides we didn't have very many multi-player video games anyway.

Naturally we were told if we wanted to live to see our 18th birthdays we had to go upstairs and try it out. That being said, Sora and I unplugged the PS2 that Cloud kept downstairs and hauled it (along with the rest of our loot) upstairs and into the bedroom we always shared when we stayed at the Strife house.

* * *

"I hate this game," I announced and threw off my guitar controller, sinking down onto my bed.

"You're just mad because you keep losing." Sora grinned and switched the game to single career mode.

"Dude, it's hard because there's so much more to actually playing the guitar instead of hitting five stupid little buttons."

"So what you're saying is that you're failing because it's stupidly easy?"

"Yes!"

"…wow, Roxas. Nice excuse for the fact you suck," Sora snickered and chose "Killer Queen" to play.

"Whatever. Speaking of sucking, what'd Riku get you for Christmas?"

"Hey, be nice. Unless you meant that as an innuendo, in which case, ew."

"Yeah well either way. What'd he get you?"

"Hmm… new speakers for my computer sincemy old ones broke. And for our anniversary a paopu fruit charm for my phone and a doughnut maker."

"…a doughnut maker?" I repeated, raising an eyebrow. Sora just nodded, focused on the flying notes on the screen.

"Yep. Something about now I don't have to wake him up in the middle of the night for junk food."

"That…is possibly the most random gift ever."

"Yeah but I like it a lot anyway, even if I don't get it until we get home."

"Guess he didn't get the memo about the fifth anniversary being the anniversary for wood huh?"

"…well actually he also gave me a **very **good fuck before we left."

"God, Sora shut up!" I groaned, picking up a pillow and smashing it against his ass. He just laughed and shook his head.

"You should have been expecting that one by now actually."

"Yeah, you're right. I should have been expecting that," I agreed, laying on my stomach and watching Sora play Guitar Hero.

"Besides, it's kind of an obligation. As my cousin, I have to gross you out with details when you walk into it just like that. Besides, we've always shared everything with each other anyway, you know? I can't imagine it any other way." Sora continued pressing the fret buttons on the toy guitar.

I swear sometimes that boy could read my mind. It's almost scary. Either that or he can pick up on Kairi-vibes as well as I can. No matter how he picked up on it, the fact remained that I had to talk to Sora and come clean to him before I drove myself insane.

"…hey Sora?"

"Yeah?"

"I need you to look at me." He paused the game and turned around to face me, letting the guitar just hang from his shoulder.

"What's up?"

"…I have something I need to tell you," I started out slowly. It was Sora's turn to raise an eyebrow and he sat on the bed next to my head, looking down at me.

"Oh? What is it?"

This was it.

"…this is hard for me to say. You can't be mad at me, and you can't tell anybody else okay?"

"O…kay? What's going on, Rox?"

The moment of truth.

"I've been keeping this a secret for a while now…"

"…yeah...?"

"I…." This really shouldn't have been as hard as it was.

"C'mon Roxas, what is it?"

But it was hard, very hard.

"…I'm the one who broke your speakers. Sorry, I should have told you when I actually did it instead of just stalling but I thought you'd probably get pissed off," I quickly finished, barely looking up at him. The dark eyebrow rose higher and Sora blinked in confusion.

"…that's it? Come on, you should know that that's not a big deal. Hah, I thought this was going to be something serious. I mean yeah I'm kind of pissed that you broke them without telling me but Riku just bought me new ones so it's cool, all is well and other stuff like that," he said with a large grin, ruffling my hair and getting off of the bed.

"I guess so…" I trailed off, feeling even more like a failure than I started.

"Don't sweat it, they're speakers. I should have known better than to think you were keeping some huge secret from me." Sora turned off the PS2 and took off the guitar controller. "C'mon, let's go see if Uncle Zack will let us bury him in the snow."

"…sure. Let's go," I agreed and got off the bed. Sora flashed another bright grin in my direction and bounded out of the room and down the stairs, already yelling for Zack.

And me? Well…what choice did I have but to follow him and pretend that I wasn't a complete stalling chicken?

There was always another day, after all.

* * *

The funny thing about there always being another day is the fact that there's also always another day after that…and after that…and even after that. Eventually, I ended up thinking about there always being another day all the way up until Monday morning first period after Christmas break on the second day of January. Generally I don't procrastinate but with something as important as this? You can bet I procrastinated for as long as I possibly could. The problem with my procrastinating though was, of course, the disapproval I got from Kairi once she found out I hadn't told Sora about Axel yet.

"Roxas! You had like, all week to tell him!" Was her exact phrasing actually.

"I know Kairi. But hey you have to give me some credit for trying all week. I just couldn't do it okay?" I didn't bother looking away from my layout page while this particular conversation was going on. I have a feeling I might have exploded upon eye contact, via Kairi's glare.

"Why not though? I don't get you Roxas, how is it that you can write all of these songs describing emotions and feelings and all of these words that hold significant meaning but you can't even tell your own cousin that you're…different?"

"I don't know. It's just…weird. And songs are different, those I have enough time to word and reword unlike life where if I say something stupid, I'm fucked. Besides what if Axel says no to the idea of dating officially? Then I'll have told him for basically nothing." As soon as the words left my mouth I immediately regretted it.

"…**and **you haven't asked Axel yet? Roxas, what am I going to do with you, honestly!"

"Don't yell at me! I don't know okay? I'll work something out, I promise. Just…give me a little more time."

"You realize you're running out of time right? You can't keep doing this."

"Kairi, just trust me okay? I promise you everything will turn out how I want it to, and on my own clock." Lucky for me, I was saved by the bell before Kairi could continue to rant about the whole subject. Saving my work on the computer and grabbing my bag, I stood up from my chair and finally looked her in the eye. "Everything will be fine. Trust me."

"…I just don't want this turning out badly. I love you, you know that."

"I know. It'll work. I gotta go to class, I'll see you third period okay?"

"Okay…" She sighed and walked away to grab her own things and I was out the door by the time she turned back to face me.

I mean yeah I felt bad that I was acting like this when Kairi was only trying to help but you've gotta admit, there's only so much a guy can take before it starts to get overbearing and ridiculous. I already felt like I was going in circles as it was, I didn't need Kairi to be the one dragging me in them. She didn't mention it again during third period and things were relatively quiet among the group of us in that class.

And then…lunch time came.

"Okay so whatever plans you already had for this weekend need to be canceled!" Demyx announced, slamming both hands down on the table to get our attention.

"Everything?" Selphie barely looked up from her cell phone, punching in keys at a rapid pace to send a text to Tidus.

"Everything. Guys, my 19th's this weekend and obviously you're all invited." Demyx was practically bouncing in his place, two rows of bright white teeth nearly blinding all of us.

"Oh, right!" Kairi cut in. "I didn't realize it was this weekend."

"Yeah, we're holding it at our house, Friday night all the way through to Saturday morning," Axel added as he sat down next to me and helped himself to my bag of Doritos.

"Unless your neighbors call the cops on us again for noise violations," Riku snorted, but it was pretty clear that he was just as interested as the rest of us.

"Yeah whatever, the point is it's going to be an awesome party and I kind of want to keep this one a little more low-key than the Halloween party, meaning only people we actually know this time. That's still going to amount to a lot of people but it's more like a private party kind of? Point is! Axel and I are going to need a little extra help throwing this all together," Demyx explained, finally sitting down on the other side of Kairi and presenting her with a bag of Skittles.

"Thanks love." She ended up rewarding him with a quick kiss. On the **mouth**.

It was still pretty weird seeing the two of them together as in, together-together. But hey whatever distracted her from me was fine by me.

"Well Kairi and I can take care of a cake for ya, Demy-kins!" Selphie decided to join the conversation and tucked her phone into her pocket, giving Demyx her full attention.

"And we can provide the live music and DJ the rest of the music," Sora volunteered.

"Roxas and I can handle handing out invitations, right Rox?" Axel draped an arm around my shoulder and looked at me with a quirked eyebrow, a smug little grin on his face.

"Uh, yeah! Yeah we can do that as long as we already have them all ready to hand out and stuff." I nodded in agreement, trying to focus on what I was saying and not on Axel's fingers resting oh-so-casually on my clavicle.

Bastard.

"Cool I can give those to you tomorrow. Anyway, I think besides that Axel and I can handle the rest of it. Oh unless you want to bring some of your amazing punch for me to spike, Sora."

"I'm all over that." Sora pulled a pen out of his bag and wrote the word "punch" on the back of his hand, turning and drawing a heart on Riku's hand as well.

"…you're really weird babe." Riku shook his head and took the pen from Sora's hand, drawing a heart on his cheek.

Now see that? That was stuff I was used to. It didn't bother me that Sora and Riku were busy with a pen-fight. It was starting to bother me less that Kairi was busy throwing Skittles trying to land them in Demyx's mouth. And it was bothering me even less that Selphie had gone back to texting Tidus who was…well, who knows where the hell he was?

But no. What bothered me was the fact that Axel's arm was still around my shoulder and he was drumming out a pattern on my collarbone.

It bothered me even more that we were the only two at our table at the moment who weren't dating anybody, much less each other. Kind of put a damper on things if you asked me.

"Hey Dem, wouldn't it just be easier if we had your computer playing music instead of us? Considering like, it's your birthday and all? You shouldn't be providing entertainment on your own birthday, save that for when we actually get famous and have no choice." Demyx looked at me, flinching a bit as a Skittle bounced off of the side of his head.

"Yeah I guess that'd make enough sense. Besides I doubt you want to cart your bass and Sora's drums over to my place anyway."

"Exactly my man, exactly."

"I'll add it to the list then." Demyx grinned and waved it off, turning back to Kairi to probably catch more Skittles (he was starting to remind me of a sea lion). Glancing around at the rest of our table, it was pretty evident that everybody was either paying attention to Demyx and planning for the party or they were busy doing their own thing and not even remembering the rest of us existed (as was the case of Sora). And then of course Axel was still busy touching me and really it was starting to be just a little too much.

"Hey Axel, ca-"

"There you are." I was immediately cut off by a feminine voice. Axel and I both tilted our heads back to see who was behind us and it took all of my willpower not to groan out loud.

Larxene…how can I explain Larxene? Other than my general "Larxene is a bitch" speech, that is. Larxene is this girl who's actually Marluxia's best friend, as in Marluxia who's dating Naminé, as in my friend Naminé who's an artist and a cheerleader and I've known her for a few years.

Following me so far?

In knowing Naminé, I've had to deal with Marluxia and in dealing with Marluxia I've had to put up with Larxene. The experiences have been less than pleasant, I can tell you that much. The problem with Larxene is that she's cute so people don't suspect anything's wrong until she opens her ugly mouth. She's kind of…well I tried and I can't explain it any better so Larxene's a bitch end of story. I can tolerate her in small doses but she has a knack for interrupting me during crucial moments in my life.

Such as now, for example. Only the thing was, it didn't seem like Axel minded too much.

"Larxene, hey. What's up?" Axel sat upright and turned around to face her properly.

"Can I borrow you for a minute?"

"Um…sure." Axel shrugged and removed his arm from my shoulder finally before getting up. "Be right back guys." Waving over his shoulder he started following Larxene out of the cafeteria and soon disappeared from sight.

What.

Nobody else seemed too fazed about Axel's sudden abduction though, so I couldn't really make a big scene without everybody becoming suspicious.

As expected, Axel didn't come back during lunch at all.

* * *

"So," I started out, carefully focusing on putting my notebook back into my school bag.

"So?" Axel repeated, carefully staring me down.

"I didn't know you knew Larxene," I commented as casually as I could, gauging his reaction. He shrugged and picked up his bag from the floor to throw his papers into it.

"Yeah, we kind of go back a little ways. Not as far as me and Dem but y'know, still pretty far. At least two or three years."

"Oh. What'd she want?"

"You're asking a lot of questions. Jealous?" he gave me a teasing grin in that same stupid way he does.

"No." Yes. "I'm just curious." And apparently a liar.

"Well, I guess I can't deny your curiosity. She's in one of my classes and we're working on some project so she just wanted to ask me about it." Axel shrugged again, getting up from his desk and looked down at me. "You don't have to be on the defense Roxy, I'll understand if you're jealous."

"I'm **not **jealous."

"Sure."

Thinking back on it now, it wasn't like Larxene was a random addition to Axel's life and it wasn't like I was keeping tabs on his life anyway. She was at Demyx's Halloween party, I've seen him talking to her in between classes and well, how did I know that his group of friends that only he and Demyx shared didn't include her? I didn't, that's my point. I shouldn't have been jealous because first of all it's my own fault for not even realizing they were friends and secondly, Axel wasn't even mine.

Yet.

" Just…whatever, do you have a list of people to invite to Demyx's party?"

"Yeah I kind of have a general idea. We've got a lot of the same friends. He'll probably give me a detailed list tonight and the invites tonight too. I'll call you and let you know."

Sixth period that day provided us with a substitute teacher. That meant that we actually had to do work and stay on task so I had to wait fifty minutes to ask him about Larxene and everything. School was finally done for the day though so I could ask him all I wanted.

"Sounds okay with me. Do you have to work on…whatever with Larxene today?"

"Yeah. It shouldn't take me too long though." He raised an eyebrow in surprise. "You sure you're not just jealous?" he asked again. I think all I did in response was blink and then roll my eyes.

"Heh, you wish. Anyway, go ahead and call me tonight about the invites and anything else Demyx comes up with okay? "

"Sure." Axel held open the classroom door and allowed me to walk out of the room first. "I'll make it a point to do that."

"Sounds good to me. I'll talk to you later." I waved over my shoulder and headed for the theater for rehearsal, not even giving it a second thought when Axel started heading further into the school instead of to the parking lot.

Three hours of rehearsal meant I wasn't allowed to go home until around six. By the time I walked through my front door Axel still hadn't called me.

My mom cooking dinner meant I wasn't going to eat until at least seven. By the time I headed downstairs and finished eating my share of fish Axel still hadn't called me.

Three chapters of reading for English, a worksheet for math and a chapter for chemistry meant I wasn't going to finish my homework until a bit past ten. By the time I shoved my books back into my bag Axel still hadn't called me.

You can see where this is going.

I was starting to wonder if something happened to him. He should have already been home and settled in by now. But what could I have done about it? He had said he would call me, not the other way around. I wasn't going to bother him and come off as being obsessive or something similar; that would just blow everything out of proportion and possibly ruin what we had going so far.

Instead, I took a shower and messed around in GarageBand until about 11:30 before I just said fuck it and went to bed. If Axel was going to blow me off, fine. I wasn't upset, really. Of course I was only asleep for about two hours before my phone went off somewhere near my head. Blindly groping around in the dark I closed my fist around it and answered it without even looking.

"What."

"Hey sorry, I just now got home."

"…ngh."

"Not exactly the answer I was expecting but that works. C'mon wake up for about five minutes," Axel laughed a bit.

"Dude…it's early…or late, whatever. What're you calling me for?"

"I said I would, remember? It would have been earlier but I just now got home from Larxene's."

**That **woke me up.

"What were you doing there so late?"

"Project and just hanging out with a couple of our friends. Anyway hey, Demyx gave me the list of people he wants at his party and the invite flyers. He's serious this time about it being a private party. Nobody's getting in without presenting a flyer. So, are you up for coming with me to school early and handing them out before first period? We can stick them in people's lockers if we don't see 'em and if we do we'll just hand 'em out."

"How early exactly?" I asked, glancing at the clock on my nightstand. It was already 1:45 in the morning, school started roughly in six hours.

"Not very early, maybe just half an hour early. That okay with you?"

"Um…yeah. Yeah, that's fine."

"Cool. So I'll see you in the morning. Don't be late."

"Gotcha. Now lemme go back to sleep."

"Sure. Night." He hung up without waiting for a response and I threw my phone back on the nightstand, rolling over to go back to sleep.

On the bright side, at least he called me back.

The next morning came far too early for my liking, but I made it to school right as Axel was leaving the parking lot.

"Hey, Axel!" I shouted before he could get very far. Axel looked and stopped walking, waiting for me to catch up.

"Morning, shortstuff."

"Hey, hi, morning. You have all of the flyers?"

"Yeah Demy printed out the last ones this morning. Ready to help me hand them out?"

"Yeah I guess so. It shouldn't take long right?"

"No we've only got about 40 to hand out."

"40? What happened to this being a low-key party?"

"That **is **pretty low-key for Demyx's parties. Besides they're all people he knows and that I know and that you guys know so it wouldn't be that bad." Handing me half of the stack of flyers in his hand he opened the front doors to the school and allowed me to go in first. "So let's start by sticking these in people's lockers."

"Sounds good." As we started in on that task, we didn't talk much other than reading off names of people we were inviting to this party. It wasn't until the stack in my hands was gone before Axel spoke again.

"Hey so I was thinking," he started out, stopping near my own locker and leaning against it.

"Am I going to like where this is going?"

"Yes. You better. Anyway I was thinking…Demyx's party's on Friday right?"

"Yeah…I'm pretty sure we're both clear on that thanks to the flyers."

"So you know where I'm going with this."

"No not really. Where are you going with this?"

"I have my own room at Demyx's. If you and me get bored, we can hang out and have our own party see?"

"…what exactly are you saying?" There was no way I was having sex with him with 40 other people outside, he could just forget it.

"Okay I have no idea what **you're** thinking but I was just thinking we can watch movies, make out, see where things go. Basically you can be like my date without anybody else knowing. Make sense?"

"…yeah. Yeah sure, I like that idea."

"I was hoping you would." Ruffling my hair he pulled away as the warning bell rang, the hallway filling with people suddenly. "I should probably go, I'll take care of the rest of these. I'll see you during Civics okay?"

"Yeah. See you then." Waving him off I turned to open my locker, waiting until he rounded the corner before smiling widely and racing down the hallway to find Kairi.

* * *

"Did you ask him out yet?" Glancing back toward my bed I shrugged and continued my music project.

"Did Kairi put you up to this?" I countered. Hayner snorted and rolled onto his stomach to watch me. Not that I wasn't used to it; I've accepted the fact that sometimes I'll just walk into my bedroom after school and Hayner will be chilling on my bed.

"Not necessarily. She's too busy with Demyx that I decided to take things into my own hands."

"Your freakishly large hands?"

"Shut up." Propping his head up with his casted hand, he pulled a piece of gum out of his pocket and popped it into his mouth. "Anyway, did you?"

"No not exactly."

"Roxas."

"Are you going to give me a lecture about how I'm wasting time too, because I already heard it from Kairi," I cut him off, spinning around in my chair to fully face him. Blowing a bubble and popping it, Hayner shrugged and looked up at the Nirvana poster on my ceiling.

"I'm not here to tell you what you should and shouldn't be doing with your life. I'm here mostly because I'm curious about your sudden interest in guys."

"And here I thought you were just doing it because you cared about me. Way to break my heart, Hayner."

"You know what I mean. Anyway why haven't you asked him out yet?" I paused for a minute, trying to think of how to phrase my thoughts. Hayner was used to this by now though; he can tell the difference between my thinking silence and my ignoring silence.

"Because I think he asked me out first." He suddenly looked at me again, eyes lit up in interest.

"Yeah?" He popped another bubble. "How do you figure?"

"We were handing out invitations this morning for Dem's party and he pretty much asked me to be his date and said if we got bored we could just hang out in his room. Alone."

"Sounds like a bootycall if you ask me."

"Fuck you." Throwing a pen from my desk at him, I leaned back in my chair and glared a bit. "It's not a bootycall okay? Axel's not like that."

"Sure about that? I'm not trying to tear you down or anything but you don't really know what kind of intentions Axel has do you? No, you don't."

"Maybe not but I know he likes me as more than a piece of ass. Besides **some **of us don't give it up that easily," I snapped before I could even stop myself. Hayner stopped what he was doing and stared me down, eyes hardening and good hand clenching into a fist. "…Hayner that's not what I meant."

"Oh really. So what **did **you mean huh? C'mon Roxas, say it. You know I'm not stupid, I know I'm slutty by society's standards but fuck society. At least I'm not second-guessing myself."

"I know okay? I'm sorry, that just slipped out."

"I thought you'd be the last person to judge me."

"Hayner I'm not judging you okay? Just…I'm sorry." He didn't say anything at first, chewing on his gum angrily while staring out my window (possibly debating on just walking out; it wouldn't have been the first time).

"…this whole thing between you and Axel's making you crazy. You're snapping at Kairi, now you're snapping at me. Cool it. Either talk to him and get it over with or don't do anything and go back to normal but stop taking your frustrations out on us." He looked back at me again, narrowing his eyes further. "I'm not kidding, it's getting old, Rox."

"Have I really been snapping?"

"Yep. You'd be surprised, more people notice you're on edge than you realize. So I suggest you fix this soon before everybody becomes really suspicious and asks you those uncomfortable questions you don't want to answer."

It's pretty rare but Hayner was right; I knew I still had time but it was wearing thin. If this whole situation really was taking a toll on my friendship with my two best friends I really did need to fix it. And after Hayner brought it up I realized even further that he was right. Kairi was just trying to help and I kept yelling at her. Hayner was just bringing up a different point and I called him a whore.

Life-1, Roxas-0.

"…I'll talk to him Friday at Demyx's party when we're alone okay? Promise."

"Yeah you better or I'm going to kick your ass. You have three days. Do you know how you're even going to approach it?"

"Probably ask him if we're going to start dating officially I guess."

"Good! No point in drawing it out. You need to be blunt otherwise he won't get it and you'll be stuck further. Do it Friday or you can completely forget about it."

"Completely?"

"Completely." Hayner got off of my bed and pulled me out of my chair. "Come on, talking about this suddenly got too personal. I want to see the demonic guitar game you were talking about."

It wasn't until after Hayner left later that night and after I talked to Kairi on the phone that the realism of the situation made itself clear. I was really going to do it; I was finally going to ask Axel out and we were going to start dating and everything I'd been thinking about for the past few months would finally come true and stop being a problem and my life would be perfect. Or as perfect as it could get when you're 17.

As soon as Axel and I started dating, I would finally be able to see just what was so great about dating. Going out with Olette was great and all but it didn't really feel like we were going out. This though; I would have somebody of my own that I could spend time with and have inside jokes with and tie up the phone lines and kiss and cuddle and laugh and oh my god I seriously just need to stop talking. No really.

* * *

By the time Friday morning rolled around I was even more on edge that I didn't even look at Sora as we ate breakfast downstairs. Not that he was even paying attention anyway, he was trying to finish up some of his homework he didn't finish "because he forgot".

Read that as, "because he was busy with Riku".

By the time I got to school I refused to talk to anybody until Kairi and I were in first period working on the sports pages for the yearbook.

"You're kind of twitchy today," she started off, making sure no one else was within earshot.

"You think so?"

"Know so. Nervous about tonight?"

"Immensely nervous. What if he says no, Kai?"

"He won't say no. You know as well as I do that he's into you. Have you seen yourselves lately? Like lunch Monday he was practically draped all over you."

"You actually saw that?" I blinked and looked away from my computer screen.

"Babe we **all **saw that one. I don't think anybody else really picked up on what was going on but I can tell he likes you. You just need to stop stalling and talk to him. Tonight."

"Yeah I will. It'll be great. We'll talk and then we'll officially be going out right?"

"Right. Just remember that."

"Right…ugh."

"Relax…you're stressing over nothing." Giving my shoulders a quick squeeze she got up from her chair next to me and smiled. "Don't freak out. Just be yourself. For some reason he seems to like that."

"…I don't know if that's supposed to flatter or offend me."

"Maybe a little of both."

After that I calmed down, a lot. I didn't need to be freaking out over this whole thing. I practically had it in the bag. The tough part now was waiting until Demyx's party that night.

The rest of my day was a total blur. I'm sure Sora was trying to talk to me during Chem and I **know **Demyx was throwing French fries at me during lunch but none of that really registered. I'm guessing it was Kairi who kept poking me with her pencil during Pre-Calc and Hayner practically tripped me in the hallway going to English but I brushed all of it off. Minor details I didn't need to prepare myself for the big life-altering change that was going to happen that night.

Not even Axel himself could bring me out of my daze. I felt the wad of paper bounce off of my hair but I was too involved in my own daydreams to notice that the real Axel was sitting right next to me trying to get my attention. No, it wasn't until the final bell rang that I snapped out of it and realized school was over and Axel was hovering over me.

"Man what's with you today? You're spacing even worse than usual." Axel swung his bag over his shoulder and waited for me to pack up my things.

"Guess I've just got some things on my mind. It's nothing really." Nothing that I was going to tell him yet anyway.

"Whatever man. Just clear your head before Demyx's party tonight okay? It won't be as much fun if you're not even paying attention to me."

"Oh poor you," I teased him a bit, shoving the last of my things into my bag and getting up from my desk. "I promise to pay extra attention to you at Demyx's party okay?" Extra, **extra **attention in fact.

"You better own up to that promise or I'll be very upset with you, Roxy." He winked and led the way out of the classroom.

I had already decided by then that there was no point in trying to stop him from using the nickname. He seemed to like it and well, I was starting to mind it less and less.

"Yeah, yeah. I got it. I've gotta go to rehearsal though so I guess the next time I'll see you is at the party?"

"Something like that, yeah."

"Axel!" Both of us turned our heads to look to the right where Larxene, Demyx and Marluxia were all standing near the doors of the east wing.

"Annnd that's my cue. I'll see you tonight," he said quickly before grinning and turning to walk away, joining the other three and leaving me to gawk at the other end of the hallway as Demyx opened the door and Larxene grabbed Axel's arm to pull him outside.

Now what the fuck was that about?

Rehearsal was a blur too, mostly because Mr. Holloway spent a large amount of the time focusing on Velma and Roxie's parts. I was there because I had to be, not because I was needed. It didn't help that every break we had consisted of Selphie chattering in my ear about Demyx's party. But at least with Selphie it was easier to pretend I was listening; just nod every couple of sentences and she'd take that as an answer.

It also didn't help that now I was starting to wonder about Axel's other friends, mainly Marluxia and Larxene. The weird part was that when I saw Marluxia that afternoon he wasn't with Naminé. It was a Friday so I knew she didn't have cheerleading practice that afternoon so what was up with that? It's extremely rare to see a Naminé without a Marluxia and vice versa. And then of course there was Larxene who was suddenly starting to show up more and more.

Or maybe I was starting to open my damn eyes and see what was going on around me instead of being in a clouded haze.

As soon as I got home from rehearsal I headed upstairs and straight for the shower mostly just to clear my head and relax (and partially to feel cleaner because I was moving set pieces earlier). I finished my shower and got dressed, looking in the mirror to make sure I looked decent enough before leaving the bathroom and entering Sora's room, sitting on his bed carefully and looking at the back of his head.

"Hey, Kairi and Riku are picking us up in about half an hour okay?" Sora announced without even looking over his shoulder as he continued to type on AIM.

"Yeah sure." Even I could tell that my voice sounded a little dazed. Sora turned in his chair and looked at me.

"You okay?"

I didn't have a good excuse this time.

"Just tired." It was true at least. I was mentally tired from thinking about how this would all turn out and emotionally tired from having to hide everything for this long and stress over it.

"Well, wake up. We're going to be leaving soon to go to Demyx's and do you know where that really big thermos is?"

"For what?"

"The punch Dem's spiking."

"No. Just use one of the empty 2-liters and a funnel," I suggested, laying on my back and staring up at Sora's ceiling. One of his glow-in-the-dark stars was starting to peel off.

"That's not a bad idea. I think I'll just do that."

"Whatever you want, Sor." Closing my eyes I folded my hands behind my head. "So hey we're still doing band practice on Sunday right?"

"As far as I know yeah. We should probably bring it up to Demy again but I'm free for Sunday. Then again, I live here and really don't have a choice do I?"

"No, not really. I'm glad you understand that." I smirked a little. Sora snorted and returned to typing again.

"You're so weird. Sometimes I can't believe we're related."

"At least I didn't have a Pringles fight with my boyfriend today."

"It was fun thou-, wait what did you say?" Sora stopped all movement again.

"…what?"

"You've got a boyfriend?" he asked, obviously puzzled by this new "revelation".

"…no! No, I meant it as Riku being your boyfriend and it was just a saying, Sora. I think you'd know if I had a boyfriend or not."

"I think I'd know if you even liked guys period. That's kind of a big factor in having a boyfriend." Sora finished typing out a sentence and signed off of his messenger before letting his computer hibernate. "I'm going downstairs to finish the punch. Wanna come with me?"

"Yeah, okay." Heaving myself off of Sora's bed I followed him downstairs to the kitchen.

The thing about Sora is he may not be able to actually cook decent food but he makes bomb desserts and drinks for some reason. So really, there was no way I was going to rush him on his punch. He was just about finished when our doorbell rang.

"Rox you wanna grab that? I think it's Riku and Kairi." Sora continued to focus on adding just the right amount of…something from an orange bottle and I got up to answer the door.

"Hey guys."

"Hey Roxas," Riku said before brushing past me into the house, waiting for Kairi and myself to follow.

"Are you guys almost ready to go?" Kairi tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and followed Riku and I back into the kitchen.

"Yeah Sora's just finishing up his punch or whatever and then we'll go," I replied, looking back at her.

_Are you still nervous? _Her eyes were asking.

_Mildly terrified, but I think it'll be okay._

_It will be. It'll be fine._

_God I hope you're right. _

"Hey. Sora's bottling the punch and I'm illegally parked on your street. Grab whatever you need and go get in the car," Riku said, breaking Kairi and I from our other conversation. I already had everything I needed and Kairi had just come into the house so **she **didn't need anything. The two of us shrugged at each other and turned around heading right back out and getting into the back seat of Riku's car. It didn't take long for Sora to jump into the passenger's seat and Riku to climb into the driver's seat, starting the car and driving the few miles to Demyx's house. Considering Demyx didn't start letting people in until eight and it was only close to eight-thirty there were still a lot of cars surrounding the house and Riku had to park a couple of blocks away before we could even consider getting out of the car. Sora immediately jumped on Riku's back and the two of them walked ahead of us, Sora's bottle of punch dangling from his hand dangerously close to Riku's face.

"So…this is the night huh?" Kairi asked in a low voice once they were far enough ahead.

"This is the night."

"Excited?"

"Anxious. But I think I'm really ready for this. Axel told me that I was pretty much his date for this party and that he'd be waiting for me."

"I'm excited for you," she continued. "I mean this has been ongoing for what, almost four months now? Maybe five if you count your very obvious denial phase when school started."

"We'll go with four and a half," I agreed to compromise.

"Either way. I'm proud of you for doing this. Are you going to talk to him first thing?"

"Very first thing. I'm going to walk into that house, track Axel down, and tell him exactly what I've been waiting to tell him all week. The timing's finally right."

"Better brace yourself then."

"Why?"

"We're already here," she pointed out. Stopping in my tracks I watched as Sora and Riku opened the front door and the loud music poured out from the house, echoing loudly on the empty street. The two of them disappeared inside and Kairi stood next to me, hand on my shoulder and waiting patiently.

"Ready?" she asked. I closed my eyes and took in a deep breath, clearing out my head and focusing on my main goal.

"…ready." I nodded and she gave me what I've officially dubbed the "Kairi-sunny-smile-of-encouragement". She grabbed onto my wrist and proceeded to practically drag me into the house, kicking the front door shut behind her once we were in there.

"I'm going to go find Selphie okay?" Kairi yelled over the music, letting go of my wrist. "Good luck!" And with that she disappeared into the crowd to find her brunette friend, leaving me alone by the front door. I was okay with that though; I had a mission and I didn't need Kairi to hold my hand all the way through it. This was the right time.

It was easy enough to find Demyx, standing over in a corner where his computer was and adjusting the volume on his speakers. The real problem was trying to worm my way through all of the people standing around in his living room. I swear it took me about 15 minutes to walk ten feet.

"Demyx!" I shouted to get his attention.

"Roxas, about time! I was beginning to wonder where you were. What's up?" Demyx went back to fiddling with his speakers, still paying attention though.

"Have you seen Axel anywhere?"

"Yeah, I sent him to the kitchen with Sora's punch to spike it not too long ago. He should still be in there."

"All right, thanks!" Waving a little I began pushing past more people, this time going in a completely different direction to reach Demyx's kitchen.

This was it. If Axel was in the kitchen mixing the punch then it would be easier to talk to him alone which would make it easier to get him alone which would make it easier to tell him everything I've been wanting to say.

And I needed to, fast. Even my thoughts were starting to sound like a 17-year-old girl.

Pushing through the last throng of people I saw the entryway to the kitchen and stopped, taking another deep breath before nodded and stepping into the kitchen. He had his back to me but it was hard to miss that shock of red hair.

"Axel?" I said, walking a little further into the kitchen. He shifted his body slightly; and revealed another body underneath him pressed against the counter. It really was the perfect time…

…you know, to walk in and see him kissing Larxene.

He didn't even have the decency to make it look like one of those "I didn't start it, she kissed me!" kisses. No, this definitely was one of those kisses where both parties involved knew what they were doing.

If this were a perfect world, he would have looked up right then, saw me standing there and ran after me while leaving the blond bitch alone in the kitchen, chasing me outside and down the street before grabbing me and kissing me under the stars while saying how much he loved me.

My world's never been a perfect world; why should it be now?

Maybe Hayner was right and Axel was just going to use me as a bootycall. Or maybe Kairi was right and somehow Axel still was very much into me (which well, that was kind of hard to believe at this point). But guess what?

I didn't bother sticking around long enough to find out.

* * *

I'm not even going to explain this. Make of this what you will.

I believe I've responded to everybody who's left me a signed review, which by the way thank you for all reviews (signed and unsigned). If I missed you and you sent in a signed review I'm sorry! I'll do better next time. They make my day. They make my day and make me motivated to write, as do people favoriting this story, recommending it to others, and myself making various playlists with songs that apply to the whole story. Anyway, I finished it before the month was up (by a few days, hah!) so I hope you've enjoyed it. 25 pages of material this time, I was hoping to narrow it down a little but apparently I can't do that. I even tried skimming over the very boring details but oh well.

Keep in mind that things mentioned in this story are almost always used again (Roxas's rehearsals, his observations about Larxene and Marluxia, etc).

Song used for this chapter's title is Cannibal Girl by Head Automatica. If you haven't heard this song I really think you should.

Now…I'm not going to beg for reviews, but I do enjoy seeing them as does every other writer on this site. Make of that what you will. Thanks for reading this guys, see you next update (no promises when, but now that **this **chapter's out of the way the rest of the story should flow together faster).

And see, I love you guys so much that I stayed up until 6am finishing, editing, and posting this chapter. Enjoy!

-Ty


	11. Open Up My Eager Eyes

**Chapter Eleven**  
_Open Up My Eager Eyes, 'Cause I'm Mr. Brightside_

_

* * *

_

...I don't even know what I can say. Just…whatever, let's just get to the story.

* * *

In the back of my mind, I could still hear the music from Demyx's party by the time I was at the end of the street. But my thoughts were far from the party and even further from where I was actually going. My entire body was on auto-pilot as I continued down the sidewalk.

Was this really happening? Had I really just walked in on the guy I was going to ask out making out with a girl I can't stand? I couldn't understand it; it had been the perfect plan.

In another corner of my mind I could hear both Kairi and Hayner scolding me about running out of time. Guess they were right, I waited too long. This was entirely my own fault, somehow.

…no. No, fuck that, not all of this was my fault. **Axel's** the one who's back at Demyx's making out with Larxene and probably copping a feel of her flat chest. **Axel's** the one who sent me mixed signals for like, two months. **Axel's** the one who started kissing me first and got me involved in this whole mess in the first place.

"**Fuck!**" A scream brought me out of my daze, and then I realized the sound had come from me. I stopped walking then, turning to look at my surroundings.

Apparently, even my subconscious knew I needed my best friend right then. Okay, that's fine. Problem was Kairi was still back at the party and probably wouldn't be home for hours, if at all. After all, she was so close to Demyx now.

"Fuck," I repeated and stomped up the walkway to her front porch, flopping down on the porch swing her dad put up four summers ago. Leaning my head against the back of the swing, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, willing myself to calm down before doing anything rash. Reaching into my pocket, I found my phone but I also found my iPod. Slipping the earbuds in and turning it on, I scrolled through all of the artists to find something suitable for my mood. It didn't take long for my mind to wander and stop on Panic at the Disco.

Apparently, even my subconscious knew I couldn't run away from Axel. Damnit.

And so, that's what I did for the next four or so hours; sat on the porch swing in front of Kairi's house and pushed myself back and forward while listening to my iPod and waiting for her to come home. I guess it was about 1:30 in the morning when I heard a car pull up in front of the house. Riku's car, in fact. Lifting my head a bit I watched Kairi climb out of the back seat and wave at Riku and my cousin before the car disappeared from the curb. I didn't bother taking out my headphones or even saying anything; I just sat in the dark waiting to see what would happen. Kairi came up to the front door and started digging in her purse for her keys, glancing to the side a bit as she did so. That's about the time she spotted me and jumped.

"Roxas!" She forgot about her keys and immediately sat down next to me. I still didn't say anything and let the music play. She took the hint and reached for one of the earbuds, pulling it out and listening to Brendon Urie scream about shotgun weddings and photo ops and how boys will be boys.

No shit.

"Roxas. How long have you been out here? I tried calling you like 20 times." She reached around and pulled out the other earbud.

Missed calls? Reaching into my pocket and unearthing my phone, I unlocked it and looked at the display screen.

21 missed calls; 18 from Kairi and three from Sora.

"Oh. Guess it was on vibrate," I replied and shoved the phone back into my pocket, attempting to grab my headphones from Kairi's hand. She quickly moved them out of the way though and out of my reach. We went through this sometimes; I'd be in a shitty mood and would want to block out the entire world with my headphones and Kairi wouldn't allow it. I should have been grateful but right now? Right now I was just pissed and wanted my headphones back.

"Why did you leave the party?" she asked, keeping the headphones out of my reach still.

"It doesn't matter. Give me my headphones."

"Stop lying to me. Why did you leave?"

"It. Doesn't. Matter."

"**No.** It **does **matter and you're not leaving or getting your headphones back until I get a straight answer. Everybody noticed you were gone and nobody could figure out where you went or why you left."

"…you really want to know why?"

"**Yes.**"

"Because **I **am a huge tool and I left before I made myself look like a complete ass, okay? Is that what you wanted to hear, Kairi?" She fell into silence then. Good. I felt better about it after that but I knew it wouldn't last long.

"Wanna explain that one to me, or should I come up with my own assumptions?"

"We were wrong."

"About?"

"What do you think? He didn't want me."

"…that doesn't make any sense though. Are you sur-"

"Kairi when a boy you like is busy making out with a girl, that's pretty much a neon sign saying he wants nothing to do with you."

In retrospect, the look on Kairi's face from that revelation was actually pretty funny. It kind of went from being overconfident I was wrong to confusion to shock and settling finally on sympathetic.

"No way…"

"Larxene, in the kitchen, wish I had a lead pipe." I shrugged and finally gave up trying to grab my headphones back. I didn't care at that point anymore. I was just exhausted from the whole thing and none of it really mattered anymore.

"…c'mon, get up. You're spending the night," Kairi decided for me and grabbed my arm, pulling me up from my seat on the swing and finally unlocking the front door of her house. Closing and relocking the door, we made our way up the stairs and into her bedroom while Kairi shut the door and turned on the light.

"I really wish you had just told me what happened instead of running away. You really had me worried," she said from inside her closet, tossing a pair of my pajama pants and a shirt out at me.

…what? We always keep spares around each other's house.

"Yeah well at that point I really just wanted to bail. I don't even know how I ended up at your house instead of mine other than pure fate."

"Fate?"

"Fate," I repeated, pulling off my shirt and changing into my pajamas. "Can we just not talk about it?"

"No, we have to talk about it." She walked out of her closet already dressed in her own pajamas, sitting on the bed and waiting for me. "If we don't, you're just going to do that thing you always do."

"Which thing?"

"That thing you do where you hold everything inside before you freak out and explode, usually involving violence and/or music."

"…I don't know if I'm really up for it right now."

"That's fine. That's common in people who've just had their heart broken."

"…'people who've just had their heart broken'? Sorry Kai, hate to be the bearer of bad news but I don't think I actually have a heart to break." Sitting on the bed next to her and burrowing under the covers, the only thing I left available to see was probably the top of my hair. Maybe my eyes, I dunno.

"Don't be dumb. Everybody has a heart."

"Nope. Do not. Don't have a heart, can't possibly be heartbroken."

"…see now you're just doing that other thing," Kairi sighed and reached over to turn out the light, sending us into pitch black.

"Which thing?" I asked, removing some of the suffocating lavender bedding and laying flat on my back, staring up at her ceiling.

"That thing you do where you try to convince yourself that you're invincible and you can't feel anything. You only do that on rare occasions of course, but this is one of them."

"I have no idea what you're even talking about."

"…you did it when your dad left. You did it every time your dad failed to keep his promises. You did it that summer we thought I was going to move to Radiant Garden. And you're doing it now. Why can't you just admit that yes, you **do **have emotions and yes you **do **have a heart and it's hurting right now?" Kairi ended her long-winded explanation and curled up next to me, propped up on her side to look at me.

"Because…isn't heartbreak something you're supposed to feel? Like that gross twisting agony gonna-rip-open-the-chest-cavity kind of thing? Yeah I don't feel that."

"Do you feel anything?"

"…not really. Numb maybe. Mostly pissed."

"At?"

"Myself. Can we talk later? I just want to pretend this whole thing never even happened."

"There has to be a reason he was kissing Larxene…"

"Kairi, just leave it alone. It doesn't matter what the reason was, the fact is he was, even after saying how he'd basically be my date for Dem's party. And speaking of Dam and date, I'm surprised you didn't stay at his place for the night. I mean it's your boyfriend's birthday."

She went quiet again, resting her head on my chest and looking out the bedroom window. Then she did something kind of unusual for Kairi, bringing a hand up to my cheek and tracing her thumb along my jaw.

"Maybe it is my boyfriend's birthday, but I think the fact that my best friend's upset is a little more important. Besides, Demyx understands."

"How can he? You guys are dating…isn't that a little more important than me being a pussy and leaving?"

"He just does. I'm grateful for that. The thing is, no matter whom I meet in my life or whom I'm dating at the time they're not going to be more important to me than you are, okay? Accept that for what it is. There's no one more precious to me than you are."

"…yeah?" I tilted my head to look at her again. She nodded but remained silent, waiting for me to make the next move. Pulling her closer, that was about all I could do at the moment. Even if I'd tried saying anything, words wouldn't have been able to justify how lucky I felt to know she'd continue putting up with my sorry ass no matter what. Her eyes had closed, but I knew she was still awake and just listening to me.

"Kairi."

"Mmh?" Wrapping the covers around us tighter, she cracked one eye open to watch. Rolling over onto my side and making myself more comfortable, I moved even closer.

"…I want to know you all my life," I whispered into her ear.

That was the last thing said that night, but I think that was about all that needed to be said anyway.

* * *

I snuck out of Kairi's house around 6:30 that morning while she was still sleeping, quietly making my way out of the Harada house and back to my original spot on the porch. That was about the point I got stuck on what I was going to do next. Reaching into the pocket of my jeans and grabbing my iPod (that Kairi eventually gave back, thankfully), I slipped my headphones on and scrolled through the playlists. Eventually selecting something, I looked out to the sidewalk and then up to the sky.

Now if this was a perfect story it would have been a rainy day with big dark grey clouds, maybe with a little lightning and thunder. Then at least the weather would have matched my mood.

But of course…what's the lesson we've learned here? Right; it's not a perfect story. It's a true story. And in this true story wouldn't you know it, the damn sun was shining as bright as ever as it was just starting to rise.

Stepping off of Kairi's front porch I started making my way back to my own house, listening to the music from the headphones and keeping my mind fixated on that instead of whatever else my brain was going to think of. I've come to find that my mind's actually a pretty scary thing, really.

The walk home from Kairi's house was way too short and I found myself standing out front on the steps leading up to my front door. Hand hovering over the doorknob, I looked up at my bedroom window first. The window was still closed tight.

I let go of the door and walked away, leaving my house behind and quickly turning the corner.

It didn't take long for me to reach my final destination and the next thing I knew, I was climbing up a drainpipe and walking on an overhang of the first story of a house, crawling to the first window on the left of the second floor. Pushing the window open, I didn't even bother looking as I tumbled head-first into the room, landing on the bed right in my spot next to Hayner.

What I wasn't expecting was for him to be awake and staring straight at me.

"You're only a few hours later than I expected." He scooted over to give me some more room, propping his head up on a hand. "Did you just leave Kairi's?"

"…how did you-"

"After knowing somebody for roughly 12…13 years, you start picking up on their habits. So what happened?"

"…"

I knew it'd be pretty pointless trying to hide the truth from Hayner. Unlike Kairi who just stares at me and makes me feel guilty, Hayner tends to get violent if I don't give him answers and right now I wasn't really in the mood to get the shit beat out of me.

"Well?" he prodded again.

"Axel's more interested in hooking up with Larxene than dating me apparently. So as soon as I saw him kissing her in the kitchen of Demyx's house I left the party. I realized I fucked up and I ran away."

Hayner didn't say anything for a moment, giving me a skeptical stare like he was trying to decide if he really wanted to believe what I had just said. I guess it was the fact that I remained unblinking and motionless that made him realize I wasn't fucking around and indeed I was still pissed.

"Go back to sleep. It's too early for this shit." He pulled a blanket over me and flopped down on his stomach, waiting for me to do the same thing. "We're going to sleep until my alarm goes off and then we're going to do something to take your mind off this shit, 'kay?"

"What're we going to do?"

"Trust me, I know how to fix everything." And with that he closed his eyes and went to sleep. Soon after I followed his example and everything was quiet in the room.

Neither of us woke up until about noon when Hayner's alarm went off and he pushed it off the desk to shut it off. Hayner got out of bed and opened his dresser, throwing a shirt and a pair of boxers at me.

"Get dressed, we're gonna go."

"Where are we going?" I asked, sitting up in his bed slightly disoriented from my nap.

"You'll see. Just get dressed," Hayner repeated and began stripping out of the clothes he was wearing. We finished getting dressed and Hayner was already busy putting shoes on.

"Dude do you still have a spare toothbrush?"

"No time, here just chew some Orbit." He threw the pack of gum into my hands and ran a hand through his hair, chewing on his own piece.

"**Where **are we going?" Hayner just shook his head and grabbed my wrist, dragging me down the stairs and into the front hall. He opened the closet door and pulled out two skateboards.

"Let's go." Tossing one of them at me and opening the front door, he dropped his board on the ground and began rolling away. Shutting the front door behind me and dropping my own skateboard, I quickly followed after him knowing exactly where he was going.

* * *

There's this place in town that's kind of isolated from everywhere else, maybe a few blocks away from the school. A few of us kids, we used it as our own personal skate park. Hayner and I spent the next four hours just skating around, practicing tricks and blowing off steam more than anything. We ended up lying at the bottom of the half-pipe after those hours, watching the other few kids that were there disappear from sight. Hayner didn't say anything at first, not wanting to break the feeling of satisfaction both of us had at that moment. The problem is, Hayner isn't one to keep his mouth shut for very long.

"So…you ran away instead of fighting for what you wanted. Is that really what you want me to be assuming?"

"Well when you say it like that, you make it sound like such a bad thing…"

"That's because it **is **a bad thing, Rox. What are you doing running away? That's not the Roxas I know."

"…really." I raised an eyebrow, interested in this sudden fact. "And what would the Roxas you know do?"

"He'd fight for what he wanted and he wouldn't let little things get in his way."

"You wanna hear something funny?"

"Huh?"

"The Roxas you know and the Roxas I know and the Roxas everybody else knows are all completely different people."

Hayner considered this for, oh, maybe about five seconds before he sat up and got to his feet pulling me with him. Grabbing his skateboard and barely giving me time to grab the other one, he dragged me down the street by the wrist and into a convenience store on the corner right outside the school. He pulled me inside and bought two ice cream bars, continuing to drag me around until we stopped in front of the school building and hopped up onto the stone wall sign thing outside. I like ice cream as much as the next person but really, it was January. Granted, we're on an island so it's not **that **cold but it's not as refreshing as if it had been warmer. But I wasn't going to argue because this was routine for me and Hayner; ice cream on the brick wall. Hayner immediately bit into his ice cream though, rolling it around with his tongue in thought before looking at me again.

"I think you're wrong, you know."

"About?" I asked, taking a tentative lick of my own ice cream.

"The Roxas I know being different than the Roxas you know who's different from the Roxas everyone else knows."

"All right, smart guy. What do **you **think then?"

"Honestly? I think you're taking the easy way out because for once in your life you don't know what you're supposed to do. You spend too much time planning things trying to make them perfect, and you're not used to things not working out how you want them to so when something like this happens, you freak. Don't even deny it, just shut up, say I'm right, and eat your ice cream."

"With as much planning as I actually do, I wonder why I never plan for failure."

"Roxas it's not the end of the world okay? Axel's just being a douchebag, maybe he'll come around."

"The problem with Larxene is even though she's a huge bitch, she's actually pretty cute. And somehow I have a feeling who she is around me isn't who she is around Axel. He said that he's known her for a while, longer than me anyway. There has to be some reason he keeps going back to her right?"

"Look," Hayner cut me off, pointing at me with his ice cream bar. "Forget about Larxene. Forget about the fact that Axel was kissing her. This isn't about Larxene, this is about you and this is about Axel and this is about the fact that you're giving up way too easy and you know that you're going to keep beating yourself up until you actually do something, so why are you sitting here feeling sorry for yourself, Roxas? Fight back. You have to just keep acting normal like nothing's wrong and find out why the fuck he blew you off, okay?"

"It's not that easy, Hayner! You have no idea what this is actually like." Shoving his ice cream away from my face, I realized I possibly (probably) was overreacting but I was annoyed and upset, damn it. Couldn't he see I just wanted to wallow in peace?

Instead, he just snorted. "Don't try it. I go through it on a monthly basis."

"…what're you talking about?"

"Olette. At least once or twice a month she blows off plans with me because she's got a date with some guy. And **then **to add insult to injury she'll call me and tell me about how well it went because 'you're such a good friend, Hayner. I know I can talk to you about anything'. So, before you go on your tirade about nobody understanding rejection, look around."

…all right, so maybe I **was **being a little self-centered. Oops.

"It really bothers you that she doesn't know you're in love with her, doesn't it?"

"No, it bothers me that when we say 'I love you' on the phone at night, only one of us means it. See this is why I settle for just hooking up with people. No strings attached and it's a lot easier to understand. But I know you. You would never go for that."

"What makes you say that?"

"Because you, Roxas, are the type that wants to find The One and that's just it. You won't even settle for browsing, you want your happy ending and your princess…or prince too. Simple as that."

"You really think I think Axel's my 'prince'?"

Hayner just shook his head and gave me a wry grin. "Why else would you be this upset?"

"Does that make Olette your princess?"

"This isn't about me and 'Lette. This is still about you and Axel. Are you really willing to let him walk out of your life without a fair fight?"

I took another bite of my ice cream and stared at my knees, giving this some actual thought. It was January now. This whole crazy mess started in August. The guy drove me crazy. I couldn't picture my life without him. I couldn't walk away. I became too attached.

"…no. No, I'm not."

Hayner pulled the ice cream stick out of his mouth and smirked at me. "Then you've got a lot of work ahead of you."

* * *

I didn't actually get home to my own house until about ten that evening. Hayner and I were going to keep hanging out that night but he got called in to help at work. The restaurant he works at gets busy on Saturdays; it wasn't the first time that happened.

As expected, my mom and my aunt were already in their own bedrooms sleeping. Not as expected though, Sora was sitting at my desk when I walked into my room playing solitaire on my computer.

"…what are you doing?" I asked, closing the door behind me.

He turned his head slightly and shrugged, clicking the mouse again to move a card. "Solitaire. I think I'm about to win this game."

"No, I mean what are you doing here in my room? Why aren't you playing solitaire in your own room?"

"It's ten," he replied, completely ignoring my questions.

"Yeah. It is. What's your point?"

"Where have you been all day?"

"With Hayner. Come on, Sora, stop trying to be the adult and get out of my room."

"I can interrogate you as much as I want when I get a phone call from Kairi asking if I knew where you were. She was worried about you, and so was I."

"Then why didn't either of you think to call **me**?" Sitting on my bed, I dug through my pockets to find my phone.

"We did." Sora closed his game and turned the chair around to face me, pulling a leg up and resting his chin on his knee. "Kairi said that you didn't hear it last night when we called either. Vibrate?"

"…I guess." I looked at my phone. He wasn't kidding, he and Kairi **did **call about three times each. What was with me and my phone lately? What else was I missing?

"…can we talk?" Sora changed the subject again.

"If I say no, will you leave?"

"Probably not. Try it."

"Sora, I'm really not in the mood to talk right now."

"Oh well. What's going on? You left the party yesterday really early without saying anything and then I couldn't get a hold of you. Kairi said she found you at her house when we dropped her off but then you still didn't come home."

"…did Mom or Aunt Seiya ask where I was?"

"I covered and said you were at Dem's still going over music stuff."

"…thanks." I'm not sure why I was so surprised that Sora covered for me; he always does whenever I do something my Mom or Aunt Seiya would be pissed about, but for some reason this was different.

"Yeah. But seriously, what's going on? You've been acting really weird all week and now you're pulling this kind of stuff. What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong."

Liar.

"Don't even try that, I can **tell **something's wrong, Roxas. What is it?"

"It doesn't matter, it's not a big deal."

It's a monsterous deal.

"I don't care, I just want to know what's going on."

"Sora, shut up. Get out of my room."

"I'm not leaving until you tell me."

"Leave. Now."

I couldn't tell him yet, but he was threading on dangerous territory.

"Make me. Just talk to me already!"

"It's none of your business, okay? Get the fuck out of my room!" I finally snapped, successfully sending Sora into silence. He stared at me briefly, as though trying to decide if I really had yelled at him, before he got up from the desk and crossed the room heading out through the door. It was about then my brain caught up with my mouth.

"Sora. Sora, come back, I'm sorry!" I scrambled off of the bed and chased after him to his room. He immediately slammed the door in my face and locked it behind him.

Sora only locks his door when he's **incredibly **pissed.

"Damn it," I heard myself sigh. Going back to my own bedroom, I shut the door and flopped on my bed again, burying my face in my pillow.

My life had officially gone from bad to worse, and really, it was all my own fault. That's what made it so **perfect**. I (so far) lost the guy I really liked, my two best friends were subtly disappointed with me running from the scene, and now I just made my cousin mad on top of everything else. My life was going swimmingly. Really.

Shit.

* * *

I wasn't sure how long I had been laying with my face on my pillow, but when I finally sat up I realized it was still very early morning, maybe a little past midnight. Getting up from the bed, I walked to the door and headed out into the hallway…

…where I was greeted with a house that wasn't mine.

It was about then I clued in that I was dreaming. Does anybody else do that or is it just me? Like…you know you're dreaming because things suddenly stop making sense, but you don't want to wake up because everything's more fascinating in the dream world? No? Okay so ignore what I'm talking about.

Anyway I stepped out of my room and I found myself in a foyer of a large house, marble floors, pillars, the works. About that point, I looked myself over.

I wasn't wearing a blazer when I went to bed, but you can bet that I was now. And a tie, and even a bowler hat.

"What the fuck?" I wandered through the foyer carefully, keeping an eye out for anything that could potentially kill me. Then I remembered I was in a dream; you can't die in dreams. Approaching a set of doors, I pushed my way through and entered a room with white walls, white floors, and a tall chair with a black-cloaked figure sitting on that chair with his hood pulled up and a guitar in his lap. I didn't know what I was doing, it was another case in which my body was on auto-pilot and I was just going along with it as my feet carried me forward to stop in front of the chair and look up at the man in it.

"How do I find the answer?" I felt myself saying, but no words came out. White letters formed in front of me instead and the figure grinned from under his hood as he read, not even looking up from the guitar.

"Keep looking. He's the key." Letters replaced an actual voice and a hand pointed to another door. Watching the man play the guitar without sound only kept me entertained for so long before I followed his advice and headed for the other door. Opening it, I found myself in the same foyer I was in before I walked through the double doors. The same doors were in front of me again but instead there was another boy in front of the doors, dressed in the same outfit I was, despite that the tie was replaced with a set of dog tags.

"What are you looking for?" More letters, less words.

"I want to find the key."

"Be careful; you just might get it." Before I could even blink, he had teleported behind me and held out a hand to force the doors open, pushing me through with the other. Falling head-first down a dark tunnel was possibly the most normal part of this dream so far. Landing in another white room I found myself in front of a long white table with two girls sitting behind it, white dresses on each of them, one blond and one redhead.

"Do you know what you want?" The redhead spoke first, blue eyes staring blankly.

"I want the answer."

"What will you do to achieve it?" The blond spoke next, pencil in her hand quickly scratching against the pad of paper on the table.

"Anything." The girls exchanged looks and the blond held up the pad of paper. The redhead moved her hands in a way to make the page bigger, the first step of the spiral staircase at my feet.

"Tread lightly," they said together and the redhead moved her hand again, forcing me to jump onto the stairs. Breaking into a run, I followed the spiral stairs up and higher through the house until I reached another door. Pushing through it, I found myself in a long hallway and a door at the very end. Walking slowly, I almost reached the door before I felt more than anything a pair of eyes. Turning again revealed that I was right; a tall red-haired man stood back in the place I had once stood dressed in a black cloak similar to the guitar player.

"What will you fight for?" he asked, letters appearing before me.

"Everything."

"How?"

"I'll find the key."

"What if it's not worth it?" He made a vague hand gesture, green eyes narrowed and fixated on me.

"…it's worth it. How do I find the key?"

"It's closer than you think." He grinned and waved his hand, creating a black portal which he stepped into and disappeared, leaving me alone with the door in front of me. Slowly the door swung open and I stepped inside.

I was greeted with a giant egg-shaped bubble with two bodies resting inside. Pressing my face against the glass, it was then I realized that one was Sora; the other was me. Leaning in a little closer, I tried to make sense of how we were keys but I never found out. The glass gave way and I fell through, tumbling back down the dark tunnel and effectively jolting myself awake.

The first thing after I woke up was checked if I was in my normal clothes. Second thing was to check the time.

"A little past one," I murmured to myself, rubbing my temples with my fingers. "Weird dream." Maybe I should consider waking up long before the strange parts of my dreams start happening. What was that all about anyway? Black cloaks, white rooms, Demyx, Hayner, Kairi, Naminé, Axel…Sora?

"…Sora." Crawling to the foot of my bed I jumped into my desk chair and woke my computer up as well.

I think I understood what I needed to do.

Once my computer was running, I signed into my AIM and just hoped Sora was still signed in. If I strained hard enough, I could hear him typing from his room. My list loaded and I scanned over it quickly before double-clicking on the name _CrownNecklace_.

_Sora, I know you're there._

**Auto response from CrownNecklace: Go away, Roxas.**

…ouch. I admit, I probably deserved that though.

_Sora, please? I really need to talk to you about something._

…**what, Roxas?**

_This isn't something I can type to you. Is your door unlocked?_

**Maybe.**

_Sign off._

I closed the message window and walked away from my desk, leaving my room and lightly knocking on Sora's door before letting myself in. Sora was sitting at his own desk this time, typing something out to…somebody before he minimized the window and turned to give me his attention. He still didn't look too happy with me, but at least his door was unlocked. It was a step in the right direction.

"…first of all, I'm sorry I got worked up about, well, nothing really."

"Are you at least going to tell me what's with the bipolar syndrome?" Sora shot back, leaning back in his chair.

"…yeah. I am. But it's going to take a little while. This isn't exactly a simple story."

"Oh?" Every trace of irritation soon erased itself from Sora's face. "I have time, it's only one in the morning on a Saturday night. What is it?"

"Don't rush me okay? This really isn't easy."

"Like I said, I've got time."

"Okay…"

It was now or never.

"So. I had this dream a few minutes ago that I was like, in a The Used video and everybody was in it. I just woke up and I figured out that what the dream meant was that I needed to stop being a pussy and just tell you what's been going on in my life. So, that's what I'm going to do. I'm gonna man up and I'm going to be honest and-"

"Are you going to actually tell me, or are you going to stall?" Sora sat up again, leaning his elbows on his knees.

"I'm getting there! Fine, so you know what? You were right."

"About?"

"What you said at Christmas. I am seeing somebody. Well, was anyway."

"I know. The thing I **don't **know is who she is."

"…that would be because…well, it's not a girl," I said as quickly as I could, half-hoping that Sora didn't even hear what I said. Judging by the look on his face though, he heard me loud and clear.

"What."

"…surprise, I'm bisexual?"

"No wait **what?** I mean I've thought about the possibility but I never really thought you'd say it was true."

"You've **thought **about this?"

"Why wouldn't I? Roxas, we're practically twins; we're psychologically linked."

All right. All right. So this was turning out to be a lot easier than I had originally anticipated. Sora already knew, sort of. That at least took some of the weight off of my shoulders.

"So, you're bisexual and you've been going out with Axel. What else is there to tell me?" he continued.

"Whoa! Who said anything about going out with Axel?"

Way to catch me off-guard, Sora.

"Please. You really thought I didn't see his car come and pick you up? And you really thought I didn't hear you talking to him on the phone? And you **really **thought I didn't notice the way you two act around each other? Give me some credit here, I'm not completely oblivious. I'm nice though; that's why I never called you on it. I wanted to wait and see if you'd approach me on it on your own. And now that you did, I don't have to pretend to be blind."

"…you haven't told anybody, have you?"

"No. I thought you should do that on your own. It's not easy, you've got a point. I just thought you could trust me."

"I **do **trust you, that's why I'm telling you about what happened last night."

"…go on."

At least he shut up.

"Well, I had already decided that I was going to officially ask him out at Demyx's party. We had made plans to meet up in his room away from everybody else and I was going to do it then. As it turns out, we got to the party and when I found him, he was in the kitchen kissing somebody that wasn't me. That was my first and only clue I needed to realize he wasn't being serious."

"Who was he kissing?"

"Doesn't matter, just know it wasn't me."

"And now you're mad at him and mad at yourself."

"Does **everybody **know?"

"No, but the people that know you best can read you very easily. Such as me. And Kairi. If I told you things will work out, would you believe me?" Sora got up from his chair and joined me on his bed.

"Probably not. What am I supposed to do, Sora? I virtually just wasted three months of my time acknowledging that I liked this guy and trying to do something about it, five if you count wasting my time hating him when I first met him. And the thing is, I probably **still **like him anyway but I just…fuck."

"You're pissed off. Teenage angst looks fabulous on you, Roxas, that's the problem. It's almost not abnormal for you to be emotionally closed off from the world so now that you're having to deal with this, it sucks. I think you still like him too though. So what are you going to do?"

"Hayner said to just pretend that nothing's wrong and make him realize he messed up."

"He might be right. But think about it this way. You still have all day tomorrow without Axel to regroup and feel better before school. Tomorrow we've got band practice. Tomorrow's another day. **But **for now, you and I are going to sleep because you look tired from thinking about this too much and **I'm **tired from looking for your dumb ass all day today." Sora lightly punched my shoulder and settled on his side on the bed.

"…you don't mind if…"

"Lay down before I change my mind. Emotional upset; you have it. Having somebody you like disappoint you is never easy."

"What do you know about that?"

Sora didn't answer me for the longest time after that, shifting on his side of the bed and closing his eyes. The two of us laid on our sides on Sora's bed, staring at opposite walls.

"Later, okay?"

And that was the last thing either of us said that night.

* * *

I woke up a lot earlier than Sora did, which gave me plenty of time to think about the advice I received from the three people that mattered most. With that advice in mind, I slipped out of Sora's bed and back to my own room to grab my music notebook and frantically scribble lyric after lyric after lyric. I wrote for a solid twenty minutes and when I looked at the paper, I realized that no, it **wasn't **a love song but it sure made me feel a lot better. Grabbing my bass I headed downstairs with my notebook and walked outside. There was only one place I could go that would allow me to work in peace without interrupting anybody, and more importantly, without anybody interrupting me. Making my way to the edge of town, I untied one of the rowboats and made my way out to the play island. Tying the boat to the dock and walking across the sand, I climbed up onto Riku's island and sat on the giant paopu tree that was growing there. You know, that same one where I first started to clue in that maybe I didn't want to push Axel away. Stretching myself out I held my guitar in my lap and started playing around with some chords that could match the lyrics I had just written. Holding the notebook again, I re-read the words on the paper and thought to myself how they would be sung. It made things easier.

"I should warn you things you're feeling, aren't normal now. Think you need me, it's not easy, let you go some how. Now we're too far gone, hope is such a waste, every breath you take you give me the burdens bitter taste. You promise that you'd stay, you say you want to go, your lips provide a shelter for the things that I don't know. Please speak slowly, my heart is learning, teach me heart-ache, stop this burning now…"

Flipping to a new page, I jotted down a line of music and attempted to play it. Followed by another, and followed by another. Flipping back to the other page with the lyrics, I read over them while playing the music I just wrote.

"Wishful thinking, patience shrinking, bliss is far away. North is calling, now I'm falling, at your feet please stay. Now we're too far gone, hope is such a waste, every breath you take you give me the burdens bitter taste. You promise that you'd stay, you say you want to go, your lips provide a shelter for the things that I don't know. Please speak slowly, my heart is learning, teach me heart-ache, stop this burning now…"

I could make it work.

I spent hours out on that island just writing songs and playing music with only the fish and seagulls to keep me company. I felt better. Sora was right, tomorrow was another day and today was a day that I was allowing myself to channel everything negative into something with somewhat positive feedback, i.e, a song. Or rather, a bunch of songs. By the time noon rolled around I had three completed songs in my notebook. I was pretty proud of myself and I was in the middle of celebrating such progress when I realized it was **noon**. I needed to get back for practice with my band.

By the time I actually got back to the main island and back to my house, Demyx and Sora were sitting in the living room waiting for me.

"Hey, we were just about to call you," Demyx said as a greeting, tuning his guitar while chewing on some gum.

"Sorry, I was out for a while. Ready to get started?"

"Even if we said no you'd make us start anyway." Sora got up from his seat on the couch, handing me a half-empty can of soda before heading upstairs, Demyx and me following right after. Taking a drink from the can, I took out my notebook again and took my bass off of my back, flipping through the pages until I got to the new section I had written. Entering Sora's room, I sat on the bed while Sora occupied his drum stool and Demyx sat at Sora's desk with his guitar still. The two of them stared at me expectantly, but neither of them actually said anything.

"So. I actually got some stuff written today that didn't turn out half-bad. I sort of want your opinion on all of it before we do anything else."

"What kind of stuff?" Demyx asked as he popped his gum, actually giving me his full attention. Believe me, it's a pretty big feat for Demyx.

"…call 'em love songs." Grabbing my bass I turned another page and played the first part of the first song I wrote that day. I was secretly calling it "We're Too Far Gone" in my head, but they didn't need to know it had a name. After finishing the first chorus, I stopped and flipped to another page to play a section from another song I wrote that day.

"I already wrote your music parts for this one. Here, look these over." Tearing out the next few sheets of paper and handing them over, I flipped to another page for my own music and lyrics. Giving them enough time to scan over the music I waited until Demyx started playing and waited two eight-counts before filling in with the vocals.

"Coming out of my cage and I've been doin' just fine, gotta gotta be down because I want it all. It started out with a kiss, how did it end up like this, it was only a kiss, it was only a kiss. Now I'm falling asleep and she's calling a cab while he's having a smoke and she's taking a drag, now they're going to bed and my stomach is sick and it's all in my head, but she's touching his chest now, he takes off her dress now , let me go. And I just can't look, it's killing me, and taking control. Jealousy, turning saints into the sea, swimming through sick lullabies, choking on your alibis, but it's just the price I pay, destiny is calling me, open up my eager eyes, 'cause I'm Mr. Brightside…"

I stopped right there and Sora and Demyx stopped playing as well, waiting for me to continue. When I didn't though, they figured out that I was waiting for critique. Demyx hesitated for a moment, trying to think of something to say but Sora just shook his head and started talking.

"Dude I thought you said these were love songs," he blurted out.

"They **are**, just not in the way that most people would say. Who said that love songs have to be completely happy and perky? Love sometimes sucks and well, you write about it and it sucks less."

"You sound really emo right now," Demyx chimed in.

Thanks for that insight, Demyx.

However after that explanation, something registered in Sora's mind and it clicked just what I was talking about. After that, he shut his mouth and just smiled lightly.

"He's right, but they **are **good songs for what it's worth. Save those, we'll keep them."

"Did you have any more?" Demyx, on the other hand, remained as oblivious as ever.

"Just one about the tragedy and bloodshed of a lov-"

That was about the time a pillow hit my face and we stopped being serious.

* * *

After a lot of discussion and tweaking, we decided to keep "Too Far Gone" and "Mr. Brightside" as part of any playlist we might have needed. Demyx didn't catch on to what was going on and Sora didn't mention it again, knowing it was better to just let me come to him instead of pestering it out of me like usual. Monday morning came a lot faster than I wanted it to and as soon as my alarm went off, I knew this was the day I had to put on my game-face and be the best damn actor I could possibly be. I entered the school building with my head held high and a thin smile on my face heading straight for my locker.

…and then I saw Axel coming straight at me from the other end of the hallway and ducked into the yearbook staff room. Kairi was already there waiting for me with everything I'd need between now and lunch.

"He's been hanging out in the hall for the past twenty minutes waiting for you," she explained as she passed me my books. "Maybe you should reconsider this whole 'ignore him forever' strategy."

"I could, you're right. Thing is I don't want to right now because I'm still pissed about this weekend. He can just keep waiting; I did." I sat down at my workstation and dumped my books into my backpack. Working on bringing my computer out of hibernation I didn't even realize Kairi was standing back at the door watching through the small window.

"I don't know, Roxas. He looks pretty pathetic," she commented before turning away from the door and facing me again. "Besides, you didn't really wait for anything. You kept putting everything off and being overly-cautious."

"Since when is being cautious a bad thing?"

"You can't really do that when it comes to stuff like this. It doesn't work because things end up li-"

"Like what happened to me. Is that what you were going to say?" I probably said that a little more sharply than I meant to but hey, it was still a touchy subject okay?

"Yes. Roxas can't you just-"

"No." Abruptly ending the conversation and pulled my headphones out of my pocket and popped them into my ears, effectively tuning Kairi out along with that nagging voice at the back of my head…which also sounded like Kairi.

I really needed to fix the whole "my conscience sounds like a 17-year-old girl" thing. It was starting to mess with me.

The rest of the day I did my best to avoid confrontation with what happened last weekend. Riku gave me a few strange looks, and I'm not sure if it's because of my weird behavior on Friday or because Sora told him about the bisexuality thing. Thinking it over, I came to the conclusion that no, Riku's just stupid sometimes and Sora wouldn't tell. Demyx and Selphie were talkative as ever and completely oblivious still, which was nice because I'm not sure how I could have bothered to cover with them. Unlike Kairi and Sora, Demyx and Selphie don't know when to take a hint most of the time.

And then, of course, there was Axel. I had done a fantastic job avoiding him thus far. Sora and Kairi always had my back, making sure to sit on either side of me in any class I shared with all of them and at lunch he didn't even show up to sit at our table.

Problem was, I forgot to take sixth period into account for AP English. That class, I didn't have any back-up and I was entirely on my own. So what did I do?

I did the chicken shit move; I waited until right before the bell rang and slipped into the room unnoticed, taking a seat as far away from him as possible. Sure I felt a little bad when I saw the look on his face, but at the time? It felt pretty damn justified.

This went on all week actually. Sora and Kairi gave me the back-up I needed, I stayed away from Axel, avoided him at all costs, and ignored all of the text messages he sent me. He never bothered to call, and I stayed off of AIM so he couldn't IM me. The rest of my friends either were silent about the whole thing or didn't even notice I was acting any different. I went through four play rehearsals with Selphie blabbering in my ear about how much she hated anatomy because they were dissecting pigs or something, I don't even know. Maybe I should actually listen to her some time. This…just wasn't the time.

So it was on a Thursday that things in my safe little bubble were disrupted. I got home from rehearsal Thursday night and immediately went upstairs to drop off my bag and shower before dinner.

Except, you know, Sora was being nosy again and hanging out at my desk playing solitaire on my computer. Again.

"What're you doing now?"

"Solitaire," he answered, minimizing the game and gesturing for me to close the door. "I have a proposition for you."

"Proposition? I'm listening." Closing the door and dropping my backpack on the floor, I sat on the bed and waited.

"So here's the thing. We know you're avoiding Axel and you're still upset about last weekend."

"Who's we?"

"Me and Kairi. Just listen. Anyway, we know you're upset and you don't want to see him and on and on and on. So, I think I came up with the perfect distraction. As I'm sure you're well aware by now, it's a three-day weekend starting after school tomorrow, so really it's more like a three and a half day weekend except we wouldn't be able to leave until Saturday morning but it's still something and it'd just be good to get away from everybody for a while. So, we were thinking that Saturday morning you, me, Riku, and Kairi could head up to Twilight Town to go snowboarding for the weekend. Cloud already said that we could just crash at their place and Mom and Aunt Kia agreed too, so actually it's really just you that we're waiting on. What do you think?"

"…Twilight Town?" I repeated. Then I actually thought about it. What was I going to do here, just sit and wallow in my own self-misery while knowing that Axel lived within walking distance? No way. "Sure."

"Oh come on, Rox, it'll be re-…wait, did you just say yes?"

"No, I said sure."

"Same thing." Sora rolled his eyes and threw a pen at me. "I didn't think you'd agree to it right away, we thought you were going to put up a fight for sure. Besides, you also don't have practice until Monday night right?"

"Right. Guess we'll leave Saturday morning then, we'll have all afternoon and all of Sunday to hit the slopes. You and me, we can leave Riku and Kairi in the dust," I replied, the idea suddenly sounding more appealing to me. It wasn't a secret that Kairi wasn't very fast on a board and I could outrace Riku and his skis any day.

"You bet! Then it's settled, we'll leave Saturday morning and take the SUV." Sora got up from the desk and grinned, walking past my bed and ruffling my hair. "This is going to be awesome." And with that he bounced out of my room and down the stairs, assumingly to tell our moms that we were definitely going.

I should have known that my friends would take care of me and make sure I didn't self-destruct. Guess I just forgot…

* * *

Jump to early Saturday morning, after an awkward day at school on Friday and a rehearsal that went on longer than it should have. I think I fell asleep singing Razzle Dazzle. The four of us had agreed to leave at eight in the morning on Saturday to give us enough time to get up to Twilight Town and hit the mountain for a few hours before heading to Cloud's house. Riku and Kairi showed up on our doorstep at 7:45. Well, Kairi did. Riku was busy breaking into the SUV to put his skis and Kairi's snowboard in the back. A quick goodbye to the mothers and Sora and I ran outside to join them, shoving our own boards into the back of the vehicle along with our duffel bags. The night before, Sora and I had decided that he would drive the first half and then I'd take over the last half, but we were using my iPod for the whole trip. Once all four of us were in the car (Riku riding shotgun and Kairi next to me in the back) Sora pulled out of the driveway and we headed out. Drove up to the ferry dock, parked the car, got out, rode the ferry to the mainland, got back in the car, drove off the ferry, got onto the main road.

"I'm really excited we're going up there this weekend," Kairi suddenly said, leaning between Sora and Riku's seats to reach for my iPod and change the song. "We haven't been there for a long time."

"You and Riku haven't," I corrected her and leaned over her to see what song she was going to play. "Sora and I were just there a few weeks ago for Christmas."

"That's because you guys have family," Riku cut in. "I bet if Kairi and I had family there we'd go more often too."

"Well that's why we're going up there now. Besides, I don't think any of us got homework for the long weekend, right?" Sora adjusted the volume on the stereo system before bringing his hand back to the wheel.

"I didn't." Kairi sat back in her seat. "Good thing too, I'm not really in the mood."

"I doubt your teachers care if you're in the mood, Kai." Riku grinned through the rearview mirror. Kairi, being the mature adult she is, just responded by sticking out her tongue and poking me in the knee.

"And I know you don't have rehearsal until Monday at least. How's the show coming?"

"Good. We're almost ready to start teching everything," I replied, looking away from the window to face her. "Scenes are going a lot smoother, all lines are supposed to be memorized by Monday."

"When's the show anyway?" Riku turned in his seat to face me.

"Um, first show's the 17th of February or something like that. Whatever that Friday is, we've still got like another month. Besides, I know all of you already have the date marked so you can come and then tell me how amazing I was."

"What about Selphie?"

"Well yeah, her too."

"I'm going to tell her you said that," Kairi giggled to herself.

"I didn't even say anything!" Kairi continued laughing instead and I figured it'd just be easier to let her instead of, you know, defend myself. She was interrupted though by a loud guitar rift and Davey Havok screaming through the speakers, causing all four of us to jump in surprise.

"Shit Roxas!" Sora reached over and jabbed the button on my iPod to change the song. "What the hell I that?"

"Older AFI." I shrugged and sat back, not even thinking about what was going on. That only lasted for a few seconds though before I heard a familiar melody playing through one of its two opening eight-counts.

"…Sora did you put any music onto my iPod before we left?"

"Yeah, there was a file called 'Roxas' Music' sitting on your desktop so I just added those. Why?"

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Lunging forward, I tried wriggling between the seats to change the song before the vocals could start-

"I don't want another pretty face, I don't want just anyone to hold, I don't want my love to go to waste, I want you and your beautiful soul…"

-except by that point, it was too late and the damage was done.

"…is that **you?**" Riku raised an eyebrow, looking down where I was next to his elbow.

"Hey, I remember this! I didn't know you finished," Kairi added, pulling me by the hood of my sweatshirt to sit up.

"Yeah well, nobody was supposed to hear it," I muttered to myself. Riku re-wound the song a bit to start back at the part where we started talking and hit play, letting the SUV fill with my own voice.

"I know that you are something special, to you I'd be always faithful, I want to be what you always needed, then I hope you'll see the heart in me…"

After that, I tuned out and stopped listening to myself sing. It wasn't that I sounded bad or anything, but my songs…**that **song in particular wasn't supposed to see the light of day. First of all, I had completely changed it since I let Kairi hear that opening line and second of all, talk about opening fresh wounds. It sounded **cheesy **and **perky **and **sappy **and just about everything I'm not. There was a reason it was in a file called **Roxas'** music. After a grueling three minutes and thirty-five seconds, the song finally finished and Riku pressed pause, catching my eyes in the rearview mirror.

"Are you **sure **that was you?"

"Yes."

"It just…"

"It didn't **sound **like you," Sora filled in. I couldn't see his face, but the sound of his voice was enough to let me know he was surprised by the content and style of the song.

"I know." Keeping my answers short, I looked at Kairi to see if she was going to comment on it too.

"…that was actually really nice, Roxas."

Damn it.

"Yeah well…" I trailed off and shrugged, leaning forward again and pressing play to shuffle to the next song. Once a Sugarcult song started playing I sat back and curled up in my seat, letting my head rest against my window and listening to Sora sing off-key while Riku begged him to stop. This went on for another fifteen minutes before Kairi realized I was still laying against the window and leaned over to put a hand on my shoulder.

"Are you okay? You got really quiet suddenly." Shrugging her off, I readjusted my head against the window and didn't say anything. She tried again, same result. Damn it, couldn't she see I wanted to be left alone for a bit? "Hey Sora, maybe you should let Roxas drive. I think he's getting sick."

"Hmm?" Sora finally returned to earth, stopping his singing and looking in the rearview mirror again. "Oh okay, next rest stop we'll switch out."

Sure, I was feeling sick, but for all the wrong reasons that they thought. But Sora stopped soon enough and we all traded seats in the SUV, me driving, Kairi riding shotgun, and Sora and Riku sitting in the back. The rest of the ride was spent in an almost awkward silence on my part, like everybody was afraid to talk to me. Sora and Kairi were probably thinking the same thing and Riku? Who the hell knows what Riku was thinking, who ever knows? All I knew was that I was going to delete that song as soon as I got home.

We got to Twilight Town about three hours later and beyond that, the rest of the day sort of bled together. We went to get some lunch, and after that I know we headed to the mountain to hit the slopes for the afternoon. I remember Riku almost running into a tree, Kairi barely making her way down the bunny slope, and Sora and I racing down one of the tougher runs but words, conversations and all leaked into each other and I couldn't differentiate between them even if I wanted to.

It wasn't until later when we got back to the main part of town and pulled up to Cloud's house that my brain started functioning again and I calmed down. By the time we got there, we were all pretty wiped out from the drive and from the day on the mountain, not to mention pretty cold. I think I had some snow melting down the back of my shirt or something. Parking on the curb in front of Cloud's house, we left the boards and Riku's skis in the car and grabbed our overnight bags, Sora barging up to the front door and me locking up the vehicle.

I…guess maybe I wasn't functioning as well as I thought because it's like I totally blacked out again. I remember seeing Zack answering the front door and being ushered in, the smell of tacos from the kitchen, Tifa taking all of our wet jackets to hang in the laundry room to dry and Cloud taking our bags up to the guestroom but again, words and conversations bled together. I think maybe this time it was just because _everybody_ was talking, or maybe it's because I was still pretty distracted. Is it weird that I couldn't get my own song out of my head?

Okay, okay. I'll admit it, it's not the song I had a problem with, but what the song represented. You know, the one thing I didn't want to be thinking about this weekend at all. We weren't even driving for an hour before he popped up in my mind and now? Well, now he was stuck.

If I wanted to be clever, I could compare Axel to a parasite or something. But metaphors aren't what makes for an interesting story. An interesting story comes from the words, conversations, the details I blanked on.

Consider yourself lucky that I do remember what happened at about 1:30 that morning.

* * *

Because Cloud's house is kind of small, all four of us got stuck sharing the same bedroom Sora and I usually share when we came visit. I guess all of the brainpower I was using on analyzing and reanalyzing the Axel situation was really starting to get to me because I found myself wide-awake even after everybody else had passed out. Sora and Riku were sharing a bed, and Kairi and I were sharing the other bed, and all three of them were asleep as far as I could tell. The red numbers on the clock radio between the beds glared at me signaling it was just about 1:30. If the clock could talk? I'm sure it'd tell me to stop staring at it and close my eyes.

I'm not sure what caused me to make the ultimate decision to quietly worm my way out of bed and out into the hallway of the house, but I did it. It sounded like the other four adults were asleep as well, and all of the lights were off upstairs. Naturally? This meant that I headed downstairs. I really kind of just wanted to clear my head, maybe make some hot chocolate or something. Tifa keeps an arsenal of it in the cabinets. By the time I got to the bottom of the stairs, I had already made up my mind that I was going to hunt for some marshmallows, too, and I headed straight for the cabinets in the kitchen expecting to find them.

What I wasn't expecting to find was Cloud sitting at the kitchen table with a mug of tea and a newspaper sprawled in front of him.

"What are you doing up?" I asked before I could even stop myself. Cloud's eyes shifted from his newspaper up to me, raising an eyebrow as he did so.

"My house," he replied. I knew he wasn't going to ask what I was doing up, not verbally anyway. That's just not Cloud's style.

"I can't sleep," I offered my own explanation. "Does Tifa still keep the marshmallows in the cabinet with the hot chocolate?"

"…door to the left of the fridge." He went back to examining his newspaper, leaving me to my own devices. I went about preparing my hot chocolate without saying anything to him, heating the water in the microwave, dumping the chocolate powder into the mug and tossing in three marshmallows on top to let them melt. All the while, Cloud just continued flipping through his newspaper.

I'm not sure what caused me to make the ultimate decision to sit across the table from him, but I did it.

My mom has always told me that I'm a lot like Uncle Cloud, and I guess that's sort of true. I won't ever tell Sora this because I know he'd get annoyed, but Cloud favors me out of the two of us because of it. Even when we were younger Sora would spend a lot of time playing games with Zack and the girls, and I'd hang out with Cloud reading books and watching documentaries on the Discovery channel and PBS. Cloud likes quiet. I'm the quieter of the two of us. I wouldn't say that Cloud and I have a deep bond or anything, but more like a mutual understanding.

"What're you reading anyway?" I finally asked him, taking a test sip of the hot chocolate.

"Calvin and Hobbes."

…the other thing about Cloud is that for someone kind of stoic, he's still full of surprises.

"Calvin and Hobbes," I repeated, raising my own eyebrow at him this time.

"You'd be surprised how intellectual these comics are." He pushed the newspaper toward me then, pointing at the comic he was reading.

If I could draw half as well as I could write, I'd draw the panels for you, but I guess I'll just have to write out the words.

"I asked Dad if he wanted to see some New Year's resolutions I wrote. He said he'd be glad to, and he was pleased to see I was taking an interest in self-improvement. I told him the solutions weren't for **me**, but for **him**. That's why we're outside now," Calvin said.

"I **wondere**d what the rush was," Hobbes replied.

"I'm getting disillusioned with these new years," Calvin continued. "They don't seem very new at all! Each **new** year is just like the **old** year! Here another year has gone by and everything's still the same! There's still pollution and war and stupidity and greed! Things haven't changed! I say what kind of future **is** this? I thought things were supposed to improve! I thought the future was supposed to be better!" He finished his rant. Hobbes looked at him thoughtfully for a moment then.

"The problem with the future is that it keeps turning into the present," the tiger said slowly, and the pair walked off into the snow.

The future keeps turning into the present…it's not something you realize until it's pointed out to you. Pushing the newspaper back to Cloud, I took another sip from my mug.

"Wish I had realized that earlier."

"What'd you procrastinate on now?" Cloud shot back almost instantly, turning the page of the newspaper to check what was going on with the Peanuts gang.

"What makes you think I procrastinated on something?"

"You're Roxas. That's what you do. Besides, saying you wished you realized that lesson earlier kind of solidifies the whole thing." He shrugged and stirred the spoon in his tea. "You don't have to tell me as long as you acknowledge it, but figured I'd ask."

"…it's just something really stupid."

"Okay."

…sometimes I hate how aloof Cloud could be. It makes it a lot harder to avoid talking about the subject when he's not fishing for answers. No, really. When a person's trying to get you to answer personal questions you don't want to answer, you put a lot of effort into hiding those answers and so you focus on your evasion tactics. If a person's _not_ asking, then all you're going to think about is what you were trying to avoid in the first place.

"…I had a lot of time to work some stuff out with a friend, but I never did. It sort of blew up in my face and now we're not even talking, so…"

"So what?"

"So that's why I wished I realized I was really eventually going to run out of time. I would have worked harder to get everything settled."

"Would you really? Or would you have just procrastinated as long as possible and then scramble to try and beat it from blowing up?"

"Probably the latter."

"That's what I thought." He folded up the newspaper and looked at me then. Looking at Cloud sometimes is like looking into a mirror of my future. Impossibly spiky blond hair, blue eyes, vertically challenged. Just don't expect me to get anything pierced anytime soon. I hate needles.

"Look. I don't know what you're even talking about, but if it's enough to keep you up at night maybe you should consider fixing it in the nearby future?"

"…and by future, you mean the present?" I questioned him, watching as he pushed his chair from the table and gathered his newspaper and mug.

"Exactly." And with that he walked over to the sink and dropped the mug into the basin, dimming the light and heading for the stairs. "Night, Rox."

Thank you, Uncle Cloud, for being kind of unhelpful. But I guess that's all that can be expected from Cloud, random words of advice that make sense in the long run but leave you sitting in the dark alone and confused and with rapidly cooling hot chocolate.

Nothing a quick reheat in the microwave wouldn't fix. Getting up from the table, I stuck the mug back into the microwave and leaned against the counter watching it spin around and around.

"…maybe Cloud's right," I mumbled to myself, barely watching the numbers tick on the timer.

"He usually is," Sora's voice suddenly appeared behind me. "Wanna make me one of those?"

"What are you doing up?" I countered the question with my own as I glanced at him over my shoulder.

"Noticed you were gone, had to make sure you didn't go bury yourself in a snow bank somewhere. Here, I'll even make it easy for you and get out the packet of powder and a mug."

"…you're not going to take no for an answer, are you?"

"Not really. Tifa still has marshmallows?"

"Cabinet left of the fridge."

And that's how I suddenly found myself making my cousin a mug of hot chocolate and then sitting across the kitchen table from him in the same positions Cloud and I were in.

"So…" Sora started out, looking at me from over the rim of his mug. "What's got you going this time, space cadet? You've been zoning out pretty much the whole day."

"What? I have not."

"Dude, you ate snow today. I haven't seen you do that in a year or so. You're distracted by something, so what is it?"

"What do you think?"

"I've got a few ideas, but I'm too tired to really guess. Can't we ever just have a normal conversation where I don't have to jump through a bunch of hoops to get answers out of you?"

"Well no, that'd be way too easy." I couldn't help but smirk a bit. Sora rolled his eyes and took another sip of his drink.

"Don't be an asshole. Fine. We'll play 20 questions. Is it about a person?"

"Yes."

"Does the person have red hair?"

"Yes."

"Is the person on your shit-list right now?"

"Yes."

"Is the person Axel?"

"We have a winner! Look, Sor, I'm really not in the mood to be talking about this."

"And I really don't care. Roxas, you_ have _to talk about this or you're going to keep obsessing. And I know you won't talk to Kairi about it because she'll talk you to death and give you advice that should be coming straight out of a Disney movie."

"Like you won't?" I snorted. "Sora, I've heard your inspirational speeches before."

"Watch it. Okay, let's start over. Has anything changed about how you feel since we talked about this a week ago?"

"…not really, except I'm still pretty pissed off."

"But you're still upset that Axel was kissing somebody else, and you're still pretty in love with him."

"Why are you pressing this so much, dude?"

"Because nobody else will."

He had a point.

"…so maybe I'm still kind of sort of infatuated with him."

"Right. Kind of sort of." I hated the way Sora sounded amused when he said that. "How long ago did you write that song?"

"What song?"

"Roxas."

"When I first wrote it, I wasn't exactly writing it with Axel in mind…"

"Roxas. How long ago did you write it?"

"…late August, early September. I finished it around the middle of October."

"So basically right about when you first started letting yourself be attracted to Axel. Got it."

"I hate you."

"No, you don't. So how come you can write a song basically revealing you're like a toasted marshmallow, but you can't verbalize any of that to Axel himself?"

"Because I-…toasted marshmallow?"

"Hard outside, gooey inside."

Leave it to Sora to compare me to _food_ of all things.

"Because. I don't know, you know I write things better than I say them. It's always been that way. Besides, I have no idea how to say any of that to Axel, and furthermore, what makes you think I would have ever told him in the first place?"

"Let's see. To quote…well, you, 'I don't wanna waste your time. Do you see things the way I do, I just wanna know that you feel it too, there is nothing left to hide.' Sounds like you've got plenty to hide to me."

"Did you memorize my song?"

"I listened to it again when we were hanging out in the ski lodge on my iPod. I was curious. Look…Roxas, I really just want to ask you something. Even if Axel was kissing someone else, even if he hurt you, even if you think telling him isn't going to do anything, why don't you just do it anyway? What's the worst that can happen?"

"Oh, I don't know. It could blow up in my face? Besides, aren't you the one who said that having someone you like disappoint you is never easy?"

"Well…I mean…" He stammered a bit, suddenly focusing on his hot chocolate. Hah. Caught.

"And hey, didn't you say that you were going to explain that to me anyway? I asked you what you knew about it, and you told me to ask later. Guess what, cousin, it's later. So spill it."

Not so fun when the tables are turned, is it, Sora? And maybe I felt a little victorious that I could change the subject and interrogate him, so what? Watching Sora spin his mug around as he stared at it was something that made me feel better about my own crappy situation.

Maybe that makes me kind of a dick. I didn't care at that point.

"…you really want to know?" He said slowly, still staring at his mug.

"Sure. Why not?"

"Riku's disappointed me before."

I couldn't help but shake my head. Right. Perfect boyfriend-of-the-year Riku disappointed Sora. Okay. "Yeah? What, did he forget your 37th month anniversary or something?"

"No, he cheated on me and I dumped him," Sora replied calmly, finally taking a sip of hot chocolate instead of just spinning his mug.

Cue me choking on the marshmallow I'd decided to inhale right before he said that.

"What? When the hell was this?"

"Like…right around our two year anniversary. You know how kids are…"

"No. _No_, Sora, I don't know how kids are but I know how people in serious relationships are, and people in serious relationships don't cheat on their boyfriends!"

"It's sort of interesting actually. It's a lot like the you and Axel thing, it just started out with a kiss. I mean, at first I thought it was just part of a game, you know? Do you remember that New Year's Eve party Demyx had the year we met him? Freshman year. Remember that game of Spin the Bottle? Remember that kid with the weird name? Snow? Remember how Snow spun the bottle and it landed on Riku?" The longer Sora talked, the more worked up he started to sound, and really, it was starting to scare me a little. "Remember how Riku assured me that it was just a simple kiss and it didn't mean anything, and it was just a game? What you probably don't remember is a conversation between Snow and Riku after that where Snow talked about how he knew Riku was a better kisser than that and holding back sucked. What you probably don't remember is Riku disappearing with Snow to another part of the house. What you probably don't remember is Riku and Snow feeling each other up on the back porch against the side of the house."

"…but what I do remember is you screaming at him and storming out of Demyx's house," I finished the sentence, cutting Sora off entirely. He gave an idle shrug and leaned back in his chair.

"I didn't want to talk to anybody about it because I didn't want to believe it happened."

"But…I don't get it. It's like you and Riku never fought about it. Everything seemed pretty normal…I mean, Riku wasn't around a lot because he was busy doing a photography assignment, but-"

"Rox, think about that really hard for a second."

"…there was no photography assignment. Riku avoided you for weeks."

"Not exactly. At school he avoided us during lunch because he'd thought I would have told everybody by then. But he called a lot, IM'd a lot, texted a lot…he spent about three weeks spamming me with apologies and feeble excuses."

"…do you think he had sex with Snow?"

"I don't want to know," Sora said flatly, cutting me off quickly. "I don't want to know what else Riku might have done with somebody else beyond what I saw with my own eyes."

"Right…" Awkward. This was an awkward (and on Sora's part, probably painful) conversation to be having, and what did I do? I stirred my spoon around and drowned my last remains of marshmallows. "Okay so…what happened? You guys are totally fine now. And I mean…you were normal by Valentine's Day. I remember because I had to go out and buy ear plugs that night."

At least that got a slight grin out of him. "I started thinking, I guess. I kept all of Riku's texts and IMs and once I was done being completely mad at him, I actually started reading what he said. I started _listening._ I didn't forgive him right away, but I did start to think about his side of things, started to think about why it would make sense for him to fool around with Snow on our anniversary."

"Did you ever get an answer?"

"Nope. But about a month after it happened, I was ready to talk to him again. It's not that Riku was busy proving he was sorry. It's more the fact that I saw how he was even when he wasn't talking to me. About a week after everything happened, he stopped talking to Snow completely. I'd watch him approach Riku's locker, and then I'd watch Riku walk away. Stuff like that."

"But how did you know Riku was really actually sorry for what he did and not just sorry he got caught?"

"…I didn't, at first. I think that's why it took me so long to actually talk to him. But when I was ready, Riku was still there and the next time he called, I actually picked up. I think we talked for four hours trying to work through everything. I mean…Riku knew he'd have to work really hard to regain my trust again, but he was willing to do that. And I said okay."

"…but…why?"

"Faith. I had faith that Riku meant it, and yeah, it was a risk to take him back after everything, but…look at us, Roxas. What would have happened if I didn't take that risk? I could have missed out on what's been the best couple of years of my life."

"So what are you saying, that I should have faith in Axel? Talk to him about it?"

"More or less. You take a lot of other risks, why not take this one?"

"Dunno, man. Maybe…maybe it won't be that bad."

"You'll never know until you try." He nodded and pushed his empty mug at me, leaning over and ruffling my hair. Swatting at his hand, I pushed my own mug at him.

"Yeah. You're right, your speech _definitely _wasn't as cheesy as something Kairi would come up with," I teased him, breaking the remaining tension.

"Shut up." But hey, he was grinning still. "Come on, it's late. I know those two want to go back to the mountain tomorrow, so we should go get some sleep, huh?" He stood up from his seat at the table and grabbed the mug, leaving me to follow suit. Dumping the dishes in the sink, the two of us headed up the stairs quietly, trying not to wake everybody up as we slipped back into the guestroom. Riku and Kairi, predictably, were still asleep. I still had a few questions about what Riku did to Sora and about Sora's choice, but I knew that it wasn't the right time to ask. AS the two of us slid into bed again, I looked across the room to where he was.

"…hey. I don't thank you for enough stuff, do I?" I whispered.

"Not really. You should try it more often."

"I'll thank you if this next plan doesn't blow up in my face, how about that?"

"Fair enough."

* * *

Let's just say this. The rest of my weekend went a lot smoother than that day. I actually had fun with my friends, I didn't let the stress of the Axel situation get to me, and I even let Sora drive all the way home from Twilight Town on Monday. After all, I had a rehearsal I had to get ready for.

By the time we got back to the islands, I literally had enough time to take my stuff inside, drop Kairi off at her house, and jet to the school and skid into the auditorium just before Mr. Holloway entered. I wasn't really that concerned with what was happening at this rehearsal, mostly because I already had all of my lines down.

I'm kind of awesome like that.

Things went really smoothly, and I even listened to what Selphie was telling me during our break. When we have long rehearsals, Mr. Holloway lets us take a 20-minute snack break while he goes over things with his stage manager.

"So you guys spent the whole weekend in Twilight Town? I'm jealous! I had to cover for _all _of Kairi's shifts," Selphie whined at me as she dug through her purse for something.

"Sorry, Selph. It was Sora's idea, take it up with him." I had to laugh as she huffed at me and threw a package of Gushers at my head.

"Roxas, don't be mean! I want a vacation…"

"Next three-day weekend's in February. Maybe all of us can do something then."

"I'll start planning." She found her own package of Ritz Bitz and tore it open, popping a few peanut butter crackers into her mouth. "Anyway, I guess covering for Kairi wasn't too terrible. Axel was around all weekend to help, too."

"I thought Axel didn't work most weekends," I said without thinking, cringing a little at the realization that I knew his work schedule.

"He usually doesn't, but he volunteered to pick up some extra shifts. It's weird, he's been doing that all week. Not that I mind since we get really busy during long-weekends, but you'd think he'd have other things to be doing. Axel's kind of mysterious like that."

"…I guess so, sure." What Selphie didn't need to know is that a lot of Axel's free time was usually spent with me. Without me, what else was he going to do?

Oh. Right. _Larxene._

…but wait a second. No, that should have been the obvious answer. He should have been spending time with Larxene, what the hell was he doing at work? And come to think of it, he _had _been texting less and less the more I ignored him. Maybe that's why.

"He's really cool about it. I'm glad we met him, you know? We needed some kind of diversity in our group, and Axel's it," Selphie carried on. I'm guessing she's one of the ones who hadn't really noticed that Axel and I weren't on that great of terms, but then again, ever since she started dating Tidus she's been wearing rose-colored glasses about a lot of things.

"Yeah…I know." What else was I supposed to say? I couldn't exactly tell her that I regretted ever getting involved with Axel because that would mean having to spill everything from the last semester to Selphie. Then again, I couldn't exactly disagree with her either because I knew she had a point. Axel added something special to our group whether I wanted to really admit it or not. And, well, even if I was still mad at him and unsure what to do? I was pretty glad I met him, too.

So what the hell did _that_ mean? Was I really not as mad at him as I thought? Maybe my anger was just misplaced. Maybe I was just mad at the wrong person. Or maybe I was just being stupid and irrational…all of those were possibilities. I really wasn't sure I was ready to try and analyze all of it right then and there though. Not in the middle of _Chicago _rehearsals. Not with Selphie standing next to me. Not with a blue raspberry-flavored Gusher on my tongue.

Nah. It could wait.

"Come on, I think Holloway's ready to start running scenes again," Selphie said abruptly, stashing away the rest of her crackers and getting up from her seat. I nodded and started to follow her, but I didn't get very far before my phone vibrated in my pocket.

"Hold on a sec, Selphie." Reaching into my pocket and tucking away the rest of the Gushers, I flipped it open to find that I had a new text message.

_From: Axel Tamashi_

_You didn't randomly get kidnapped by somebody with a blonde-haired-kid fetish, did you? _

I had one of two choices here. One, I could do what I've done with his last few text messages and completely ignore it, or two, I could answer and yell at him for a while.

_To: Axel Tamashi_

…_not quite. At rehearsal. I'll get back to you afterward?_

_From: Axel Tamashi_

_Sounds good._

And as soon as the first note from _All I Care About_ started playing and my phone returned to my pocket, I knew my fate was sealed.

* * *

Well. This only took about two years to write and update. Apologies to anyone still reading this. It's been a long two years.


End file.
